Broken Promises 'Spirit Bound'
by tinyhearts18
Summary: *COMPLETE* Rose is this close to graduating, but when Dimitri's haunting letters & dreams tests her sanity, she may be on the verge of breaking. Promises are made but many can be broken. Rated T-M for language and minor sex scenes w/alt endn...R
1. Prologue

A/N: Okay so this is my first Fan-Fic for The VA series but that doesn't mean to go easy on me...I'm just trying this story on at the moment and I kinda promised myself that I wouldn't do a Fan-Fic until all the books were out, but promises are just made to be broken…Kicks off after Blood Promise, my bleak version of Spirit Bound…I say that because no-one could come close to writing it other than the mastermind herself Richelle Mead.

Edit: What started out as a prediction with this story, I turned it into an alternative ending by Chapter thirteen ;)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Vampire Academy Series or any of the characters obviously Richelle Mead owns it all (if I did then Dimitri wouldn't be a Strigoi), so NO Copyright Infringement Intended, it's just for Fan-Fic purposes only and to tie me over until Spirit Bound comes out!

**Warning:** This content contains language that may offend some people; I strongly advise discretion...lol I've always wanted to say that.

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**Broken Promises 'Spirit Bound'**

**Prologue**

**E**VEN THOUGH I HAD MY skepticism about whether God existed or not, now I believed there was no such place as Heaven.

Surely if Heaven did exist, then I'll be lying down somewhere in a luxurious bed, wrapped up in Dimitri's arms, and we would be free to express our love for one another; without any judgments and certainly without any worries. He would still be the Dimitri I grew to love and he would have never been turned into a Strigoi.

Hell on the other hand was probably best described when considering my life. I was living on the edge, constantly trapped in a dark nightmare screaming to wake up. But then when I think of Dimitri's life and him living as an unnatural twisted Strigoi.

I often think that maybe _he's_ the one living in Hell, and he's waiting for _me_ to wake him up. I could cuss God all I want about how he let this happen. But what good would it do? It's not going to magically turn Strigoi Dimitri back into the dhampir Dimitri nor will he? Well, after finding out about a crazy guy Robert Duro who claims to have this crazy idea about how to change a Strigoi back into their former self? I have been contemplating on how to go about it―even though it was just that, a crazy idea.

The real twist of this nightmare? Is that my sworn enemy Victor Dashkov just happened to be that crazy guy's half brother. I know, I know impossible right? Especially how cunning Victor could be, and he obviously won't talk until I give him what he wants, and that's along the lines of breaking him out of jail, but I'll get to that story later.

So, about God and his existence?

Well, all my life I had believed that God was just a figment of ones imagination. An unexplained superiority that people just wanted to believe existed, but with my life, and how it had turned out recently? Now I wasn't so sure.

I was like a cat with nine lives, living in a world of constant battles and cheating death over and over again. Yeah, maybe God did exist. Maybe because of Him, Lissa was able to heal me from the car accident that I supposedly died from; which now made me psychically bonded with her or what I had later learned shadow-kissed. Maybe it was because of God, why I never fell off that bridge the night in Russia, when I successfully escaped from Strigoi Dimitri.

Maybe, just maybe Mason was meant to have died the night in Spokane, when we were held captive from Isaiah in order to keep _me_ alive. But I was beginning to think that something, or rather someone beyond our power did exist in the world, and me being alive? I was living proof of that.

In my world there were different types of vampires that exist in secrecy, the good ones; which we call Moroi, and the bad ones; which are called Strigoi. A Moroi is born and can easily die. They're usually described as tall, slim and paler than most.

They do have fangs, but often shy them away from humans in order to prevent them from being discovered. Although there are some humans like Sydney out there called Alchemists. They're sworn to keep our kind a secret from the world and clear up any suspicions that humans might lead to us being discovered, still we kept ourselves hidden. Moroi specialize in a way that they have the ability to wield magic from the four elements, Earth, Fire, Air and Water. And a new discovered fifth element that was never heard of 'Spirit'.

That's what Lissa specializes in, and why she had the ability to bring me back from the car accident. There are twelve Royal lines among the Moroi community, which makes them a valuable aspect. They can eat food but mainly prefer to drink blood, and usually their main food source is from humans that willingly give themselves up to donate small amounts of blood.

These humans are what we call feeders. Although they don't die from a Moroi bite. They do however become addicts from the intoxicating endorphins you get from it (speaking from personal experience) and it's almost impossible to stop the cravings.

The thing about being a Strigoi was that they were made and not born―either forcefully or purposefully. It was the most unnatural thing that you could become when it came to my world, and Dimitri's fate lost out and was made one of them.

They're the bad vampires; they're a twisted form of sorts that stalk their prey in order to drink their blood. They are immortal with strong and fast reflexes and often kill their victims. Their main targets are Moroi, especially one of the Royals. Wiping out Royal lines from the Moroi communes give them power and I think they prefer their blood from any others.

There are three ways of killing Strigoi, all could be difficult depending on how well trained you were. Decapitation was one of them; which is almost impossible in any given situation, but that's how I earned my first _molnija_ marks the night in Spokane.

Another form you could try was setting them on fire; which thanks to Christian and his specialty with fire elements proved that that method was easy when our school was ransacked with Strigoi, and he and I made one kickass of a team. But overall staking them in the chest with a Silver stake was the most active form of vanquishing Strigoi, because Silver stakes were wielded with the four elements from Moroi magic.

I however am none of the two; I am what we call a dhampir―half-vampire and half-human. We're the natural offsprings from a Moroi and human getting together. My mother is a dhampir too, Guardian Janine Hathaway.

But our relationship is by far off from being a perfect mother/daughter relationship, due to the fact that I was shipped off to the Academy's care right before I could even walk,_ and_ to add to my not-so-perfect family drama.

I just found out that I have a rogue mobster as a father Mr. Abraham Mazur (_Zmey)_ I heard someone call him. I know, I know, you're thinking I got the wrong end of the stick right? Well not really. Some of my awesome traits came from these two, even though it was full of sarcasm, stubbornness and not to mention out of control impulses―and I gotta hand it to the old man _Zmey_; I know for sure I got my badass side from him and, well, my awesome hair.

The same hair that the old-Dimitri loved, but it was kind of weird seeing it on Abe with his rich-pirate-wannabe style, after all he's probably involved with a top secretive organization with illegal written all over it. I always thought I got most of my flaws from my mother, but all she gave me was my good looks (not that I'm complaining) and a hardhead. I was gifted with natural human strength and curves with a killer tan, while having the oddity of a vampire's reflexes and strong senses. I know, we did come out better off than most, but that's what I am, a dhampir. That's what Dimitri had been before he was turned.

We train to protect Moroi from Strigoi in order to become a guardian.

My whole life I had been taught that guarding Moroi was an honor to have on my record, when it came to being a Dhampir; certainly it was better than being a blood whore―which thanks to Dimitri, I had become one for a week when I was held at Galina's estate back in Russia.

If you weren't a guardian then dhampir women either become blood whores. By letting Moroi men drink blood while having sex. It's considered dirty and kinky and dhampir women were often degraded because of it. Some women chose to live a different life away from academy lifestyles in order to raise their children. That's what Dimitri's mother Olena Belikova had done, and why Dimitri was brought up in a blood whore commune back in Baia.

Guardians have a form of mantra in regards of protecting Moroi, _they come first_.

It's what was drummed in my head since I was little, being a dhampir meant being a guardian for the Moroi, that _they come first._ And until recently, I had been selfish enough to think of _me_ first; which resulted in me dropping out of the Academy and most importantly abandoning my best friend Lissa, in order to keep my promise, and free Dimitri's soul from the twisted undead Strigoi life that he now claimed, _and_ which I had later learned that I had supposedly _failed_ to do that one too.

It had only been a month since being back here at the Academy and I already felt like I couldn't stand it. My classes were the same; mostly uneventful and boring and my constant struggles of trying to push out the information I had received from Dimitri had taken its toll on me.

Even though it had been only a month, it surprised me that there was still no sign of Dimitri. Ugh! I hated waiting, and as odd as it may sound, I kind of hoped he would just get it over with already. It was exhausting to say the least.

I didn't know how I felt knowing that the man I once loved had been turned Strigoi and still lurked the shadows of the night, and certainly didn't know if I could kill him, _again_. The best part of being back was that Lissa and I had finally fallen back into our old patterns of friendship. It was comforting having her around all the time, especially now that Christian was out of the picture.

I mean don't get me wrong I like Christian and he was starting to grow on me, but their relationship was complicated and I refused to come between the two. But right now? I kind of liked it having her all to myself, just like old times.

Yes that was a little selfish of me to say and I do hope Christian and Lissa eventually work their problems out, but in the meantime it did feel like old times, an emphasis on 'old times' which for me could mean a lot when it came to my life.

Especially when it came to the most important people in my life. My best friend Lissa also known as Vasilisa Dragomir was the last of her royal line and a Dragomir princess. She's an asset to the Moroi commune and is the most targeted from Strigoi, and in less than a month―I will be her guardian officially this coming graduation.

My greatest challenge yet, was trying to keep my promise I had made to my mother and actually _stay _and graduate.

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**A/N: I know how prologues can be a drag and you want to get straight to the point so Chapter One is already up! Don't forget to review and tell me what you think ;)**


	2. Chapter One

A/N:Okay so I posted up chapter One already just to see if anyone wants to read more...just keep in mind that I need feedback if I'm going to continue...

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Vampire Academy Series or any of the characters obviously Richelle Mead owns it all (if I did then Dimitri wouldn't be a Strigoi), so NO Copyright Infringement Intended, it's just for Fan-Fic purposes only and to tie me over until Spirit Bound comes out!

**Chapter One**

**I** WAS SITTING IN STAN ALTOS class and apparently fallen asleep on my desk, not quite surprising for me since Stan's lessons were always boring, and he was probably used to it by now anyway. I must have dozed off for a while because Stan's image roughly dissolved into Dimitri's face. Dimitri's dark brown hair blowing around the edges of his face with it slightly pulled back into a ponytail. His skin was a little paler like marble silk, while his red rimmed pupils bored into me like hot iron. It was Strigoi Dimitri. I replayed the events of me standing on the bridge looking out over the Ob River back in Russia. I had been so sure that I was going to die at that moment, when I let go of the rail. I had wanted it, ready and invited death. But God only knows why I lived and why Dimitri had caught me. If it wasn't for Dimitri's fast Strigoi reflexes then I would have been dead. Maybe a little sense of the old Dimitri couldn't stand to let me go? Or maybe the Strigoi Dimitri was just as selfish and wanted to awaken me so bad.

"That's what I was supposed to say…." Dimitri's voice kept repeating in my mind.

It was the last words I had heard ring out of his mouth before I had staked him in the chest. What would I have done if he simply said the words that I wanted to hear? Would I have staked him then? I've heard a lot of people who claim to say, "love makes us do stupid things." Would that be considered stupid if I hadn't staked him? Would it be stupid if I let him awaken me? Ugh! Love was complicated, and yeah I was still learning how to deal with it physically, emotionally and now mentally.

I stood on the edge of the bridge and watched Dimitri fall into a cloud of blackness and a piece of my heart had fallen with him. I stayed there for a little while longer and then the events changed and warped into a familiar room. I was now standing in the gym and practicing my staking techniques on the practice dummies. Dimitri stood there tall and gorgeous watching beside me. What shocked me the most about it was that he was the old Dimitri. The Dimitri I had fallen in love with. The same Dimitri who taught me everything I know about being a guardian. I watched him move his lips as he fell into one of his life long 'Zen lessons' that I often had teased him about, but I couldn't hear the words come out of his mouth. It was as if he was miming his words and speech wouldn't come. One lesson was vivid to me. It was the lesson he reminded me of, when I had received a stake wrapped up in a package and a note handwritten from Dimitri himself. I had apparently forgot to make sure that my opponent was dead, and Dimitri had warned that he would go over the lesson again when he sees me―which only meant he was out there waiting to kill me. All these questions I had been asking myself kept me from sleep and now apparently sleeping in one of Stan's classes was just another thing to add to my not-so-bright-Rose-moments.

"_Rose! Rose! Wake up."_

I heard a voice whisper behind me as if it were right in my ear. It was a familiar voice I knew all too well. His breath tickled the nape of my neck, and it felt hot and intoxicating. I felt his soft lips smile against my ear.

"_Roza, you forgot another lesson. Never fall asleep and let your guard down; you make easy prey for me to kill you."_

It was Dimitri's taunting Strigoi voice. I bolted upright out of my chair and swung around to pin him on the ground. I had my stake gripped firmly around my fingers and seized in the air ready to pierce it right through his heart. To my horror it wasn't Dimitri I had pinned down, but instead I was staring down into the face of…Adrian? _Damn, where did he come from?_ I froze. My eyes trickled across the room to study my surroundings. I happened to be in Stan's class with a crowd of Novices and Moroi hovering over me staring with incredulity. _Shit!_ _This is definitely going down on my records_. Falling asleep was one thing, but holding a real silver stake in class _and_ nearly piercing it through the heart of another Moroi, especially Adrian Ivashkov's. Yeah, that was definitely going to earn me brownie points with Stan and the rest of the teachers here at the Academy.

"Hathaway! What the hell are you doing?" It was Stan yelling from the side of me jerking my arm toward him and pulling me off Adrian. Seriously was it necessary with all the tugging?

"What are you doing with a stake in class?" Stan's voice was near hysterical. I was totally in shock myself, and not to mention baffled.

"And better yet you attacked one of the students."

Seriously? I could blatantly argue about technicalities here, one: I didn't attack him _yet,_ and two: Adrian was hardly considered as a student here, but saying that would just add to my reputation of having a lil-miss-snarky-bitch attitude so I decided to push my impulses to the side and keep quiet. I looked to where Adrian was standing and he happened to have an amused expression on his face. God, if anything, he probably liked the way I roughed him up a bit, but at this given moment I was glad not to be able to see through his mind, I could only imagine what he was thinking.

"Report back to Headmistress Kirova's office, NOW!"

Stan's voice staggered me back with authority. great now I have to deal with Ms-bitch-face Kirova. My day couldn't get any worse. I never really gave it another thought as to why Kirova took her place back as Headmistress after Mr. Lazar had left, and I certainly didn't care less to whether he took his daughter Avery with him. But to my knowledge, I heard they travelled up the coast somewhere and just left without saying as much as a goodbye. Still, Kirova got on my nerves and I could bet my life on it, that I too got on her nerves.

I moved past all the multiple stares and whispers and made my way to Kirova's office. I hadn't expected so much attention, but who are we kidding here? I was Rose Hathaway and I was almost always in the front line of attention, good or bad, I was there. Adrian caught up with me a brief second later.

"Little dhampir, wait up!"

Okay, so maybe my day could get any worse. I mean I like Adrian and he was a good guy, but I was certainly not in the mood for his charming I-want-to-get-you-laid conversations.

"Adrian, if you want an apology, then I'll right it up later." I said not bothering to look at him.

He waved his hands up in front of him. "No apology necessary, actually I kinda liked you handling me like that. I thought it was hot, my imagination is running wild now, especially the rough side of things." I rolled my eyes away from him.

"How did I know that one was coming?" I murmured to myself, I wasn't sure if he heard, but the look on his face clearly showed that he didn't care too much.

"Well, if you claim to say it was foreplay, then I'll let it go." Now he had my attention, and I skidded to a halt.

"Adrian, I don't have time for this, I'm late for a verbal beating."

"I know, I just wanted to give you this." He said as he handed me a piece of folded paper.

"What is it?" I asked regarding him curiously.

"The essay you told me to write up a month ago, I know it took so long, but I wanted it to be perfect, just like you." He winked. God, I almost forgot about that, and I was kind of hoping he had too.

"That long? Wow I almost forgot." I admitted.

"Well, good things take time, little dhampir, but I'll let you go."

He brushed his finger on my nose and disappeared leaving me staring after him. Seriously? A month…it took him a month to write this essay? Especially considering how it only contained one piece of paper. Geez, I wonder how long it will take him to write an actual essay. I slipped the note in my pocket and started toward the office. Ms Kirova's office was already open, probably because she knew I was going to end up in there today anyway. I stood there in the middle of the doorway waiting for an invite, and because she seemed busy.

"Miss Hathaway? Why am I not surprised to see you here in my office?" She happened to be searching for papers in her filing cabinet, probably my track records for how many times I wound up in here.

"Could it be because I'm your favorite student?" I replied wryly.

Okay so maybe I wasn't her favorite student, God, I was anything but, but I thought I might as well say something clever and snarky, and my impulses said that I should start small. Kirova waved a hand in front of her as if to stop me from talking.

"You haven't got Guardian Belikov to fight your battles now, so I'd be quiet if I were you."

Whoa hold up, did she just bring Dimitri into this? That fucking bitch! Ugh I could kill her right now, and what's that supposed to mean? He never fights my battles, okay so maybe a little, but she didn't have to go there.

"What's that sup―?" I started to protest but she cut me off mid-sentenced.

"Sit down Hathaway!" Kirova demanded as she pushed her glasses up from the bridge of her nose, well it looked more like a bird's beak but I decided to keep that one to myself. Her eyes narrowed in thought. I hated to be chastised, and especially by her. But seeing her in one of those moods that said she didn't want to be fucked around? Well, that's when I decided to be quiet and listen. That and probably because I had bits of my old self control filtering in my body. I reluctantly obeyed and sat down in the chair. The room suddenly closed in on me as I sucked in my surroundings and the situation at hand. Right then, was when I realized that I really _didn't_ have Dimitri in here to fight my battles. And judging by the way she was looking at me now? Yeah, I really had to pull everything out of my ass if I wanted to stay here and defend myself. With one big sigh on my behalf, I waited patiently for my punishment.

"I don't really know where to start with you Miss Hathaway; that was a careless act that you just pulled today and not to mention a very stupid one. It almost cost a students life."

Her voice was firm and a hint of disappointment came from her. My heart sank into a hole as she said that last line. I _was_ careless and very, very stupid to have done something like that. I was sworn to protect Moroi and now I apparently seemed like the person that they may need protecting from. Ugh! What was I thinking? But I couldn't exactly say that I thought Adrian was Dimitri―Strigoi Dimitri to be exact, and certainly couldn't say that he was somewhere out there plotting my death as we speak, so instead I just sat there, with my arms folded.

"You've left me no choice but to suspend you from your duties as a guardian."

My eyes went wide and I started to stand up to protest but she silenced me with her eyes. God, I thought Dimitri's Strigoi eyes were scary, but hers? Well they were definitely up there with them.

"Let me finish…" I nodded.

"But since you have everything going for you, and especially an informant that will go to the extent to fight on your behalf," She paused and her expression looked a little wistful. "Let's just consider this as a formal warning," She finished.

Okay, what the hell just happened here? Did I just get let off lightly with not so much as a slap on the wrist? That has never happened before and certainly not with Kirova. I started to ask her about what she meant by me having an informant of some sorts, that would go to the extent of keeping me here, but decided to think better of it. Because I kind of knew whom it could be. After all that was just how I was able to enroll back into the academy.

"Thank you," was all I managed to say.

What more could I say really? That was probably the best punishment I've got in, well, ever. I started to get up out of my seat and started toward the door, but Kirova said something so I turned toward her. She actually smiled, but it didn't seem to reach her eyes, still, it was a surprise to see that on her face.

"You have a guardian angel on your side, Rose. I'll hate to see you waste it."

Huh, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that Kirova actually had a hint of emotion in her voice, that, and she called me Rose. I can definitely say that that has never happened before either. Kirova never addresses me by my first name. Damn, I was starting to think that Kirova has gone all soft on me now; it was starting to give me the chills―and as for a guardian angel on my side? Yeah, I was beginning to think the same thing myself.

**Reviews are better than sleeping in Stan's class…**

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	3. Chapter Two

**A/N: **Here's chapter 2 for those who wanted me to continue…I do need feedback though, just to know what I'm doing right or wrong, and I'm trying to set it at a good pace at the moment, but I promise I'll get to the interesting parts too.

**Disclaimer:** You'd think by the second Chapter, I would own something, but sadly I still don't own VA series, Richelle Mead owns it all

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**Chapter Two**

**I**T WAS NEAR CURFEW AND I WAS exhausted. I had finally adjusted into a normal sleeping pattern, since the Academy fell on a nocturnal schedule, and I wanted nothing more than to just curl up in my bed and sleep.

I was this close to opening the door to the lobby that led to my dorm―but saw Christian in my periphery within a miles radius. He was walking toward the other side of campus and my mind was at a tug of war arguing if I should go over to him or not.

I never thought I'll see the day when he and Lissa were apart from each other―especially for so long, but now I kind of felt sorry for him. I knew I was going to get my head bitten off―if not from Christian then from Lissa, but I couldn't help it. I needed to talk to him to sort this mess out once and for all, and besides, this was affecting me too. So I picked up my pace and ran after him.

"Christian, wait up!" I yelled and rushed to his side to keep up.

Christian stopped and turned around to look at me. He was wearing his usual black on black style with his hands buried in his pockets.

"Hey Rose, what's up?"

I shook my head slightly shrugging. "Oh nothing…I just wanted to talk, you know that kind of stuff." I said in a vague attempt to get him talking.

He had his usual smug look on his face that I kind of missed on him; which I would never admit out aloud. But with the recent events that had happened lately? Especially when he and Lissa broke up, well, it was becoming a pain-in-the-ass to watch his miserable face mope around campus like that.

So it was a good change to see the old Christian in play.

I hated the fact that we couldn't hang out all together like the family we had grown to be, but in respect for Lissa, I kept my distance because she refused to be in the same room as Christian; which is kind of surprising because ever so often she would ask me if I had seen or talked to him. So there I was trying to fix everybody else's problems just to ignore my own.

"Talk? " He asked and then faked a gesture like he was disappointed.

"Damn, and here I was hoping you would pin me down and stake me, but talking wouldn't be so bad." He said.

I rolled my eyes, "Ugh! You heard about that? Stupid question…the whole freaking world probably knows by now." I said slightly annoyed.

He shrugged "Well if it's one of those unexplained-Rose-situations then I respect you enough to not want to know."

"Thanks." I smiled, "and if it makes you feel any better, then I'll be more than happy to give you a demonstration later." I teased.

He chuckled. "Wow he does smile, I was afraid I had to cough up some lame jokes before I got to that level."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't worry I'm sure you have plenty of those." I laughed and patted him on the back, "Now that's the Christian spirit."

"So what's the infamous Rose Hathaway got up her sleeve today?" He asked as he leant on a pillar that was next to him and I eyed him innocently.

"_What_? A friend can talk to a friend without ulterior motives…right?"

He arched his eyebrow. Great now he had that look on his face that said don't-bullshit-with-me, and why was I the only one on this universe who couldn't do the cool one eyebrow thing?

"Come out of it Rose. We both know you're here to talk about Lissa, so don't even try to lie to me." I had to admit that I saw that coming, after all Christian was just like me, we could've been siblings in another life time.

I sighed. "You're right; I should come out of it. After all, it's not like you want her back anyway." I replied wryly and turned to walk away. Christian on the other hand caught me by the arm to stop me. I knew how using reverse psychology could do wonders for people, but I didn't really think _he_ would fall for it. I smiled inwardly and turned to glance up at his eyes.

"Wait, I never said I didn't want her back." He said as if to state a fact.

I shrugged. "Beat's me, I mean it's not like you're trying, you could at least talk to her."

He sighed in exasperation. "It's not that easy Rose. I mean she lied to me, I don't even know if I could trust her again."

I snorted. "I know what you mean. She was _so _lying when she said she loved you the other day like twenty million times―even when I had to wipe away a water fountain of tears. I'll bet you, she even kissed Aaron out of spite of you just to make sure she hurt really badly." I said in my famous sarcastic tone.

"Okay, you made your point, but it's not like she's making it easy for me to talk to her, I mean, she can't even stand looking at me."

"Well, you can blame _that_ on mother nature." He glared at me.

"I'm kidding…she's just hurting, that's all. She's afraid to lose you all over again, but she loves you."

"And I do too, but..."

"So what's the deal? You either fight for her, or you'll lose her forever, and I know you'll regret it…trust me on this Christian, if I had the slightest chance of getting back―." I stopped there not wanting to finish my sentence. I swallowed back any of my emotions that would rekindle my pain for not having Dimitri here, and reluctantly pushed my thoughts aside. I shook my head. "Just talk to her Christian, and sort this mess out once and for all."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"As much as it kills me to say this, but you're right."

My eyes done a double take. Christian agreed with me? I was completely baffled, well not really. "I am? Well…yeah of course I am." I replied.

"Look, I won't promise you anything, but we're late for curfew, and I'm not prepared for you to get me into trouble at the moment." He said as he placed his hands on my shoulders.

"Wow, I have to get used to this new reformed Christian."

"Well some of us would like to stay in school Rose, and I sure as hell don't want to be kicked out in our last semester." He said.

"Right, unlike the irresponsible Rose Hathaway who drops out and drops in when she feels like it." I said to him as if half mocking myself.

He shrugged. "That's what makes you so badass, Rose."

"So was that a yes?" I asked putting my pretty please face on and batting my eyelashes.

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine, I'll try to talk to Lissa tomorrow, if it means that this conversation is over."

"I'll be holding you to it." I warned.

"I know, Rose, that's what makes you a good friend." He stated and he turned to walk away.

"Oh and Christian?"

"Yeah…"

"Don't tell her I talked you into it." I said as I watched his retreating figure. He held up his pinky finger smiling, and yelled behind him "Pinky swear Rose, now go to bed." I smiled as his figure disappeared out of my view. Even though he said he'll try to talk to her, still, it was better than the cold shoulder that he had for her for the past month.

I made my way to my room and a hall matron came up to me with a sealed envelope.

"Rose Hathaway?" She asked as she held up an envelope. I eyed her warily and noticed I had never seen her on campus before, maybe she wasn't a matron of sorts but it was a little suspicious.

"Who wants to know?" I asked warily, and she handed me the envelope and disappeared without saying anything.

I held it up to study it and all was written on it was my name; no indication of a postal address; not even a stamp to say were it was sent from.

I started getting suspicious and my heart started beating fast. The last time I received something like this it was from Dimitri and he decided to send me the silver stake that I had used on him, but even still, at least somebody had the decency to put a stamp on it, unlike this one.

I made my way into my room and slumped myself down on my bed. I turned the envelope over a few times not wanting to open it, but how shocking could it be right? It wasn't even big enough for an object of some kind, only room for a paper.

I tore the top strip off the envelope and pulled out the note. I scanned the letter trying to make out if I knew the handwriting but I didn't. It was awfully tidy which made it easier to read but It had Dimitri's initial at the end. It read:

_The incident with Ivashkov was very clever Rose; we would've made an unstoppable team...You and I are not so different after all, we want the same things in life, and don't worry about Kirova I have her under control. I can't wait to see if you've learnt your lesson._

_P.S. You still look beautiful Roza_

_Love, D._

Great, now Dimitri even knows about it. Wait Dimitri knows? That's impossible.

My room started spinning and it took me a while to actually register what the letter had said. I read it over and over again to figure out more clues.

Realization kicked in as I read _you still look beautiful_…as in now. Was he spying on me? I looked out my window as if I was half expecting him to pop up any time soon, but it was nearly light out side, so that would be impossible. Another line got to me _don't worry about Kirova, I've got her under control_. My head shot up as realization kicked in.

"What the fuck!" I exclaimed to myself.

It was _him_ who got me off from my punishment. I was kind of pissed that my dear old dad Zmey didn't come through for me, and that I wasn't his number one priority at the moment, but Dimitri? Why the hell would he want me to stay out of trouble? Ugh! I felt like slapping him one, he was still fighting my battles even in a Strigoi state.

If I had told Kirova that it was Strigoi Dimitri who was my secret informant, she might reconsider calling him my guardian angel, he was more like the angel of death; in every sense of the words. I was so tired earlier I could've drifted off to sleep, but right now? I was as awake as I ever could be.

Dimitri's note had woken me up like I had been slapped with cold water on my face. I got up off my bed and started pacing back and fourth.

There were a few things keeping me from making my usual rash decisions, One: I promised my mother I would stay and graduate, two: I promised Lissa I'd take her with me on my next suicide mission, and three: I promised Dimitri I would free his soul from the Strigoi darkness. Damn, I hope there was a fourth option somewhere, because sooner or later I might break any of these three and either way I'm definitely screwed.

It took a brief moment for me to calm myself down and I threw myself back down on my bed.

I wanted to forget everything and I wanted to sleep. But as usual sleep refused to take me under; which blatantly made room for unwanted memories of my love life―or lack there of, and I found myself thinking too much.

I dreaded this time of the day so bad I actually started doing press ups sometimes just to keep my mind from wandering. But tonight I just laid there staring absently out my window. The sun was peeping out making the clouds a mesmerizing hue.

It would be a beautiful morning for the human race to wake up to any minute now, and all I could think of was having the chance to wake up in Dimitri's arms once again. I would give anything just for a chance to have the old-Dimitri here by my side; at least my heart would be at peace, no longer will it continuously bleed like a ruptured scar.

I sighed and put my hand in my pocket. I felt a piece of paper tickle my fingers and pulled it out. Oh right, Adrian's essay he wrote to me. Great! I had just finished reading a letter from the one man fighting for my soul, only to find another letter from a man who's fighting for my heart, this should be interesting.

I sat up eager to have this distraction and unfolded the note out in front of me. I smiled at his handwriting and it took me a while to decipher it all, but it read.

_Dearest Rose…_

_I know that I will never be good enough for you, but all I ask is for you to give me just one chance._

_If you could give me just one chance, I'll prove to you that I could be the man of your dreams; you could take that literally if you want, and because we all know that I'm the only man who can walk in your dreams._

_If you give me just one chance to show you how much you mean to me, I will be the richest man on earth. _

_Give me just one chance to see how happy we could be even if it means taking things slow. I'll be patient and I intend on waiting forever, because well, you're worth my time._

_Give me just one chance to flower you with gifts and anything you could ever want. I'll even introduce you to my Great-Aunt Tatiana; just to prove to you how much you mean to me, I know she'll be really excited about that one._

_And last but not least, I ask for you to give me just one chance, to let me mend your broken heart. I know I could never replace him, but I'll hate for you to make me pay for his mistakes._

_Adrian Ivashkov_

I sighed and I bit back the urge to cry when I read the last lines. Adrian was so sweet, I didn't want to hurt him and I love that he is so patient, but I didn't know how to tell him that I wasn't ready for anything so much as being just friends.

I wasn't even sure if I was capable of moving on―or think I could ever love anybody else for that matter, but with a request like that? How could I deny him the one chance he asks for? Sure I could learn to love him one day, maybe even more than just a friend.

And maybe I would have the time of my life with Adrian, but knowing that Dimitri was still out there, alive or undead as it may seem. My heart still yearned for his touch, and it will always belong to him forever.

I wiped a tear that tried to escape while I thought of Dimitri.

Why did my life turn out so complicated? I was only eighteen. Surely any normal eighteen year old girl didn't have to suffer through this much heart ache, did they? _You have to move on_. A voice said at the back of my head.

It was a constant nagging voice that wouldn't go away. I threw the note down and dumped my head at the foot of my bed and that's when I noticed a huge white box sitting on the floor. My eyes went wide when I saw it and it had a silver satin bow sitting on top of it.

Okay, that got my attention.

I swung my legs off the bed and retrieved the package that I guessed Adrian had bought and placed it on my bed.

I was curious to see what he would get me. Well, that and I was a total sucker when it came to receiving presents, it was no wonder I never noticed it before I walked in. It looked like a gift you would get for a wedding present. God, if anything, you could probably fit an actual wedding dress in there by the size of it. Shit, it better not be. I don't know what I will do if Adrian went all bridezilla on my ass, because that would be, well, scary.

I was a bit hesitant to open it, hoping that it wasn't a marriage proposal and reluctantly lifted the lid off it. I unraveled the soft satin cloth to reveal whatever was sitting in side it. To my relief it wasn't a wedding dress, but instead it was a beautiful red dress.

The contrast of it stood out from the silver satin material that the box was bathed in. It was gorgeous and a bit on the slutty side; it will probably get me arrested for indecent exposure with how much of my back it would show, and it was a good way to show my legs off too.

Adrian wasn't kidding on the flowering me with gifts statement. I held it out in front of me picturing me wearing it.

Yeah, this dress was made for me, and I for sure as hell would look killer in it. Damn, I hated that he knew how to dress me. It kind of reminded me of when Dimitri showered me with gifts when I was held at Galina's estate. Dimitri had done the same thing; probably thought buying me off was a way to awaken me.

A card had fallen to the floor when I was holding up the dress and I picked it up to see what else could be up Adrian's sleeve.

_Rose..._

_Meet me first thing tomorrow, on the far-side of campus by the wrought iron gates; wear the dress…_

_****_

It was Saturday and I had the crappiest sleep ever.

I was so exhausted I felt like calling this whole thing off with Adrian, but I would at least give him one chance, and besides how bad could it be? I made my way to the mirror and I grimaced at the person staring back at me.

I had the worst bags under my eyes I swear I could've been on drugs in another life so I quickly showered and changed into the dress. It fit perfectly and I was totally curious to where he would take me especially in an outfit like this.

I slipped on some high heels and left my hair out. Yeah, I did look awesome and with a little touch up of soft make up and lip-gloss and I was good to go.

I started to feel butterflies in my stomach and all of a sudden I felt nervous. I don't know why? I've been in this situation too many times to count, so why was I so nervous? _Pull your head in Rose, it's just a date. _

I chugged down a few glasses of champagne that Adrian had sent me earlier in an attempt to clear my nerves but they never did subside. I stole one last glance in the mirror and made my way to the entrance of campus. I planned to avoid all my friends, so I cut through a short cut and dodged every possible gossip queen on campus.

I didn't want anyone to know I was going on a date with Adrian, especially after the silver stake incident, because rumors were still flying around campus and it'll definitely stir more unwanted attention my way.

It was 7.30am to the vampire world and campus seemed quiet for once, everyone was probably sleeping off last night's party, except me of course. I arrived at the gates and it was clear to me that I was early because Adrian wasn't there yet.

So I stood there patiently waiting for Adrian to arrive. I felt like a nervous wreck and I knew I must've drunk too much champagne because I was feeling a bit nauseous and I slammed my hand on my forehead. _Son of a bitch!_ It hurt like hell, and now apparently I'm going to have a headache on my first date with Adrian. _Good one Rose._ I thought to myself.

I checked the time on my watch and it read 7:45am and there was still no sign of Adrian and I was getting impatient.

_Fifteen minutes, he's only fifteen minutes late, he'll show if he knows what's good for him._ I thought. I waited a few minutes longer and decided to leave in a search to hunt down Adrian and kick his ass for taking too long. As I started to pace I heard footsteps behind me and my smile shot up.

"Finally" I started to turn and then added. "I was starting to think—"I wanted to finish but instead my mind went blank when I saw him. I gasped in surprise at the figure staring back at me with those red-rimmed pupils I knew all to well. His hair was slightly pulled back into a pony tail letting a few stray bits fall against his face. Staring at his pale Strigoi face seemed colder than his smirk on his face. I felt like I was staring down in the face of death.

It was Dimitri...Strigoi Dimitri.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting." He said in that cold Strigoi voice and then he crooked a devious smile.

I started to recall my nauseous feeling I had and it was not my earlier medicine of champagne that had caused it—but instead it was an early warning sign I got when a Strigoi was near and I was shocked that I ignored it. I knew better than to shrug it off as something else but I was awfully tired and I wasn't thinking straight.

I backed away stumbling; I was slightly happy to have the wrought iron gates between us and for once, I feared for my life.

"No! It can't be, you're not real." I just managed to breath.

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**A/N: **_Wow...Dimitri's in the picture now lolz...so if you want more you have to Review...or my story can't continue lolz..._

**Reviews are better than Adrian going all bridezilla on your ass…**


	4. Chapter Three

_**A/N:**__ I would like to say a big THANKS to all you who reviewed/put me on alerts/favorites and say that you all are totally awesome for being patient!! I admit I was totally mean for leaving the last chapter at a cliff-hanger, but fear no more here's the next chapter for those who kindly asked for more. Hope you like :)_

**Disclaimer: Normal disclaimers still apply so I don't own anything Richelle Mead does although I do own my own creativity.**

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**Chapter Three**

**I**F SOMEONE HAD ASKED ME if I believed in life after death, then I would've kindly invited them to my personal morgue; or what I liked to call a personal tour in the minds of Rose Hathaway.

I killed my fair share amount of Strigoi; some can go unaccountable sure, and I watched my best friend Mason die right before my eyes.

God, I've seen so many corpses and most were traumatizing, but with my life? And me being shadow-kissed? I was a perfect example of life after death; after all I literally died and came back to life thanks to Lissa, and, recently I had discovered that I could actually _see _life after death.

That's how I found out about Dimitri. Mason's ghost had come to warn me about how Dimitri had been turned into a Strigoi.

I would have given anything for the clocks to turn back and I constantly dwelled on the past, but staring at the situation I was in now? I was terrified for my _own_ life.

It was like death continued to follow me. Maybe I was a death magnet, or maybe death found me intriguing, I don't know, your guess is as good as mine. But did I _see_ my death coming? No not really, but I can certainly see that death had _found_ me…because I was staring right at it.

My head started spinning and every second he moved closer felt like a force of pressure squeezing out every last bit of my brain cells, it was excruciating.

It felt like my head was going to explode, but I had to try and block it out because I had to prepare myself for the worst, so I couldn't let anything distract me.

I was standing by the entrance of campus at the wrought iron gates in a killer red-dress and high heels; no silver stake, no witnesses and certainly no back up. And I couldn't erase the thought that this outfit may very well be the last outfit I would ever get to wear.

I had to admit though; I'd probably take a few casualties with me, if they had seen me in this dress.

I jerked my head around in an attempt to check if anybody was near, but there was no-one. It was almost as if this particular area was closed off to the likes of students, teachers or even bystanders. _Damn!_ I wanted to scream, but that would be a total waste of time, and breath, so I instantly dismissed it. I was alone, well not totally.

It was just me and Dimitri.

What shocked me the most was I realized there was completely no-one standing on guard. _Shit, where was everybody? _I thought to myself. It was kind of odd because there was almost always someone on guard duty, especially by the wrought iron gates. Great! The guardians sure had picked an awesome time to go on break.

I thought of running but something inside of me stopped me and I froze.

Dimitri stood there on the other side of the gates with an expression mixed with lust and curiosity.

He was wearing his usual long brown jacket that to me, had always resembled a duster, and his head was slightly tilted. I noticed his eyes assessed me like I was something to eat. Well, in any other situation I would've thought that was so cliché, but with him being a Strigoi and all, it was probably best to keep that one to myself.

I certainly didn't want to give him any ideas; because well, he did literally devour his victims, and I assumed I would just be adding fuel to the flame.

He tilted his head again and abruptly I felt self conscious.

"I knew that dress will do you justice—although you never did need a dress to define your beauty." He said finally and honestly? A few months ago I would've melted if I heard him compliment me like that, and I admit I felt like his compliment would send me running in to his arms, almost like I was hoping for it.

And I know how pathetic it may sound, but I almost lived for those compliments. _He's not your Dimitri; he's a monster_ my voice of reason chanted.

I wrapped my arms over me as if to cover myself because he made me feel nervous and I wished he would stop staring at me like that. God, could he be anymore obvious? Normally I would've killed for this situation to take place, but it wasn't the same as I would've hoped for, especially now that he was a Strigoi.

He must've sensed that there was something wrong with my mood and his face fell curious.

"What's the matter, you don't like the dress? I could get you something else." He said calmly.

I furrowed my eyebrows and I was starting to get annoyed. I wanted to say that the dress was fine, but him staring like that, _wasn't_. And knowing that the dress came from a monster and not a gift from Adrian. I didn't know how I felt; more relieved to know that Adrian didn't force me out on a date; shocked to know that Dimitri still dressed me like a doll. Ugh! I was confused.

Shit! I should've known how Dimitri worked by now, but it was something Adrian would do too so it wasn't totally my fault.

Seriously, my brain wasn't functioning well at all lately, due to the fact that Dimitri was out there plotting my death and taunting me with letters, but now I was staring at the core of it. Dimitri's eyes looked like they were lost in a trance.

Okay, I had so many questions running through my mind and plenty of snarky comments but my mouth refused to talk.

"You truly are beautiful Rose, no matter what you wear." He said and I admit my heart fluttered for a second.

God, if I didn't know any better, I would say he was trying his hardest to impress me, that, and he totally was ignoring the fact that I drove a stake in his chest a few weeks ago in a brave attempt to try kill him, maybe last month didn't really happen or maybe this…none of this was happening right now.

I glared at him in bewilderment. I had no emotions, nothing but silence almost like someone had stolen my voice box.

He took a step forward and then smiled showing a hint of his fangs. He lightly brushed his hand on the gate but instantly jerked it back. I kind of felt relieved at that moment because it was an indication for my safety and I knew he couldn't hurt me so long as those gates stayed closed.

He chuckled. "Nothing to say? Hmph! I was expecting a full on verbal abuse by now, that may have included a fair amount of cussing…mostly on your part by the way, but this is a delightful reunion." He said slightly amused.

Ugh! He was teasing me now and I hated him for mocking me. That's it! I couldn't take it anymore. If I was going to die with dignity; then I was definitely going down Rose style and if verbal abuse is what he wanted, then I was the queen of cussing.

I stepped closer trying to put on my most dangerous I'm-going-to-kill-you glare, but I probably looked like a cute little puppy with my tail between my legs next to him, but I had to try.

"Disappointed? I'm sorry, how about where the fuck do you get off showing up unannounced? What are you, a fucking stalker now? Peeping Tom? All of the above? I don't know, take your pick!" I hissed at him.

He kept his smile there and I swear I would've loved to wipe that smirk off his face, I was more _hurt_ than anything, but rage seemed to be my best stress release at this point.

His smile faded and contorted into something that could be passed for sincerity, but it was hard to detect with his impassive state.

"I'm sorry Rose; I promise I wasn't planning on visiting long. I needed to see you. I tried to hold out until you graduated but somebody tipped me off and I received some information about this journey you were about to undergo and I had to stop you, I told you Abraham is not a man you should be caught up with, he's dangerous, he's not one to be trusted."

Seriously? He shows up to the Academy just to tell me to stay away from my father?

I rolled my eyes. "Well geez thanks for the boring _'Zen lesson'_ I'll be sure to write that up in my notes, speaking of lessons. I blatantly recall that you were threatening to teach me a thing or two, say…what lesson are we up to now? Did I pass with flying colors or does it involve awakening me? Oh wait you already tried that but to no avail, and by the way how was your swimming lesson?" I shouted while gasping to take a breath.

Whoa! My mouth was running by itself and I couldn't stop it, but he totally deserved it.

"I forgive you Rose, and I hope that one day you would forgive me too. I would've done the same thing if I was in your position, but I want you to stay away from Abraham he's bad news," He said.

My eyes done a double take, did he just forgive me for trying to kill him? And better yet he wanted _my_ forgiveness. Well this really is a delightful reunion, who would've guessed. I chuckled nervously. "You forgive me? Well fuck me dead why don't you? You've already taken my sanity, you want my _forgiveness_ too?" I said bluntly.

A shadow casted in his eyes. "All I ever wanted was for you to be happy."

Ugh! The freaking nerve of this guy. Why did I have the feeling that Dimitri had changed? Almost like he wasn't Strigoi. But his garment was a confirmation of him being a monster, and his tone seem to have lightened making him sound sincere. I had that old feeling roil up in me once again and it was like I was with Dimitri but not with Dimitri kind of feeling.

"_Happy?_ Well I've never been happier," I said sarcastically. "And what's with you and this Abraham guy anyway?" I said warily, I wasn't sure if he knew that I was Abe's daughter, but something in the back of my mind restricted me to tell.

His rage boiled up in his red eyes and his fist clenched to his sides.

"I just don't trust the man, and I don't want you to get hurt, that's all." He said and I had the feeling that there was more to it. I felt a chill crawl up my back when I saw him angry and maybe he saw fear in my eyes, because it almost looked like his expression softened.

I frowned. "What happened to you wanting to kill me? Change of plans, or is this your sick way of trying to awaken me?"

"I'm sorry Roza; you know I will never hurt you."

Damn it, why was he saying this? He was meant to be this Strigoi twisted animal and all I could see was the old-Dimitri's morals and traits seep out of his voice and I knew that he only used my Russian nickname when he was feeling particularly affectionate toward me.

I needed to get it together, but my heart was saying something else and I so badly wanted to open the gate and let him in._ No, no, no don't think like that, he's not Dimitri._ I chanted silently.

My eyes started welling up with moisture; slightly clouding my vision. _Damn it Rose! Keep it together. _I thought and then inhaled a huge amount of air.

"Last time I checked, you were the only one who hurt me the most." I said in a shaky voice and a lump formed in the back of my throat. I was trying my hardest to suck up my tears to prevent myself from crying.

"I know, and I'm sorry but I had to see you, I needed to see you." He said as his eyes throbbed into me like open wounds, it was as if I could see right through him and my Dimitri was there struggling to get to the surface, but I knew it was just wishful thinking.

I looked away. "Well I wished you never did, and I don't ever want to see you again." I whispered and lowered my head to the ground

"You don't mean that, I know you don't because you won't look into my eyes…look at me Rose." He demanded.

_No don't look at him, whatever you do don't look at him._

"No! I hate you and if you don't leave then you give me no choice but to try and kill you." I threatened still not looking at him. I was slightly clueless to how I would accomplish such a thing, but at least my high heels could be mistaken for a stake, but it won't kill him, it'll probably make him more annoyed than anything.

"Look at me Rose." He repeated and I flinched for a second, I wanted to look at him but everytime I did, I was reminded of the monster who held me captive back at Galina's estate.

"No!" I said in a sob and squeezed my eyes shut. "I hate you and I wish you never came into my life!" I said and tears started streaming down my cheeks and I was crying now. I hated crying and especially in front of someone but I couldn't help it, so much for sounding badass.

"Look at me, _please Roza." _He pleaded and with that, I slowly raised my head and stared right into his red Strigoi-eyes to look at him. _Damn it! He used the sexy-please-voice._

"I want you Roza, I want us to be together, come with me. I have Galina's estate and I can't enjoy it by myself."

I shook my head. "I—I can't I…" I stuttered, and that's when something crossed my mind. I wanted to know the one thing that was hanging on the tip of my tongue ever since he was taken away from me and turned into this unnatural being, I wanted to know if he loved me. So I had to ask.

"Why do you want me?" I asked him and my heart raced a marathon. I didn't know what I would do if he was able to say that he loved me, even as a Strigoi. But I wanted to hear those three words badly, I wanted to believe that my Dimitri still existed.

"I'll take care of you Roza, you can trust me, just come with me now and we could be free." He said and he totally ignored my question. Typical, it was just typical of him to brush that question off, could he really say he loved me? Or would he just say it out of reason just to get what he wants. Ugh! that question was killing me, and I for sure as hell wasn't going to let it hang in the air.

"Dimitri! Tell me why you want me!" I demanded and I grew impatient.

He hesitated and then said. "I want you because...my heart needs you, I just want you Roza, we belong together." He pleaded.

I wanted to believe him _so_ bad, but I knew he was just saying that so he can have me, awaken me or whatever he intended on doing. Damn it! That was still not the answer I was hoping to hear, so I shook my head again.

"I'm sorry, but I don't want you anymore, I've moved on." I said lamely and I backed away a little.

Dimitri's fist clenched to his sides and his jaw muscle tightened. "I don't believe you!" He hissed.

I glanced away from him. "I'm with Adrian now, that's who…that's who I thought was meeting me here. He is what I want." It wasn't completely a lie because I was expecting to meet Adrian for our first date. Although wanting Adrian was an exaggeration, but if I said it enough times then maybe it would be true.

"I know when you're lying, Rose. You're doing it now!" He said in a voice that was scarcely frigid and I flinched.

Then abruptly I heard several hisses coming out of his mouth followed by a few amount of cussing in Russian and he looked annoyed. I only learnt a few swear words while I was in Russia but his tone was barely audible so I only made out the phrase 'son of a bitch' and repetively some other words but I only caught the word _Suka _said like Soo-kah; which if I remember correctly meant _bitch_.

I managed to see past his pretence and I was surprised that his mouth was just as foul as mine, only his could go unnoticeable and I had to admit, swear words sure sounded sexier in Russian _No! Dimitri's a Strigoi, Dimitri's a Strigoi_. I thought to myself.

I jumped at the ring of my name. "Rose! Rose!" I heard a familiar voice calling after me and I could hear the panic in her voice. I turned to see who it was and to add to my horror, it was my mother. I quickly wiped any trace of my tears and smiled half-heartedly toward my mother.

"Rose? Who were you talking to?" My mother asked and I looked back toward the gates and Dimitri had disappeared. Great! Now I looked like a nut job talking to myself. I realized that Dimitri must've sensed someone was coming and now I knew why he was swearing.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" I asked as my eyes scanned the area to see where Dimitri had disappeared to.

My mother had told me that she would stay here at the Academy and see me graduate, but for the last couple of days she had some business to attend to so I never did ask, I was just happy to have her around as often as she could.

I noticed her staring at my outfit and her eyes assessed me like she was disgusted and now I felt like a hooker on heels, only the famous mother-of-the-year Janine Hathaway could make me feel cheap and not to mention ten times smaller; considering how I was a few feet taller than her.

"I've been looking all over for you, have you forgotten about our training? And what the hell are you wearing? You look like a…" She didn't finish her sentence but she didn't have to, her eyes said it all.

Damn! And here I was starting to think that our relationship had actually moved forward, but with the way her eyes were assessing me now? Well if I intend on defending my honor, I'd say that our relationship will be definitely moving somewhere and I most certainly knew it'll be staggering back three steps.

"Like what mom? A blood whore! Well yeah, your only daughter has turned into a blood-whore because she wears really short dresses. It's what you want to say right?" I shouted.

And honestly? If she had of known that Dimitri—_Strigoi_ Dimitri to be exact had already made me one; when I was held at Galina's estate back in Russia. She would be outraged. Better yet, she'll go mental, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of what she had always thought of me anyway and I certainly didn't want the 'I told you so' speech.

"Well I don't no what to think of you these days, and what's this nonsense about you and Ivashkov? First you try and stake him to death and now you're dating him! Did I not teach you anything about morals or is this your way of getting attention, because it's working." She said muttering through her teeth and then lowered her voice as if she thought someone was listening, well someone was and that was Dimitri.

"Oh well gee, thanks mom for the moral support. What happened to trusting me?" I asked slightly annoyed at her distrust and her scrutinizing eyes. God, she sure knew how to make me feel like shit.

"Well is it true?" She glared at me with a hand on her hip.

"No! Well Yeah...I did kind of nearly drive a stake into him but I swear I'm not dating Adrian, and what is it any of your business anyway? Since when did you ever have a say in my life? You lost that right when you shipped me off to this stupid Academy, and besides I'm not doing anything you haven't already done, all I'm doing is following in your footsteps. Abraham sure told me a thing or two and I sure sound more innocent next to your reputation." I taunted, well it was a complete lie and I wasn't prepared for her to take me down so I thought to myself. _Two can play this game _and I saw her face drop.

She swiped me across my face with her hand to slap me._ Ouch! That freaking hurt. _Okay, I had to admit I totally deserved that.

"You watch your mouth you stupid little girl! You have no right to speak to me like that!" She said in her motherly superiority stance.

I held my hand on my cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to..." I apologized but she cut me off mid-sentenced.

"Shut up Rose and get dressed, you're late for training!" She managed to say and walked away.

I was angry at her, and more at myself for letting her get the best of me. I wanted to punch something, anything and better yet I was angry at Dimitri for disappearing without saying anything and I wondered where the hell he was hiding. Well, wherever he was I knew without a doubt that he heard everything. But something at the back of my head told me that this was not the last time I was going to see him.

I sighed. If there was anything out there for my instant stress release, then training with my mom would be it, after all I needed to take my anger and frustration out on someone, and she was the perfect object.

I gave one last glance at the empty space by the gates and made my way to my dorm. I quickly changed out of the dress placing it neatly on to my bed and threw on a tank top and grey sweatpants.

I retrieved my duffel bag and headed for the gym with an awesome Hathaway frown on. I wanted to forget about the early events that had happened lately, especially my encounter with Dimitri and I was ready and waiting to spar; hopefully if I was lucky I could land a black eye on my mom this time round; that's only if the God's were good to me.

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_**A/N:**__ Richelle Mead is in the stage of second revisions for her fifth book Spirit Bound so the processing is coming along great, but we still have to hold out for May 18th 2010...it's too long!! So I hoped you enjoyed my story in the meantime ;)_

_The 'Who can't die in Spirit Bound' poll is CLOSED!! but everyone voted our beloved Dimka...so hope Richelle Mead heard that lmaooo_

_**P.S: Don't forget to review, because my story can't continue!! Continuous Review's call for continous chapters, and faster updates!!** _


	5. Chapter Four

_**A/N:** __OMG Thanks again for the reviews!! You guys are amazing!! I appreciate the support and I love the enthusiasm it's what keeps me writing, trust me without you all then there would be no story. Totally awesome people!! You guys really do rock my socks off...seriously running out of socks ;) So thanks again for the Reviews/Alerts/Favorites...Well here's the next chapter that you all kindly asked for...you totally deserve it...Have fun reading…_

**Disclaimer:**Normal disclaimers apply so I don't own anything Richelle Mead owns it all 

_("Although wouldn't it be fun to own Dimitri?" *Sigh* "if only he was real" *insert panic attack* "WTF! He's not real?" *runs around in circles screaming*)_

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**Chapter Four**

**T**HE NEXT DAY I WOKE UP to a knock at the door.

I looked at the time on my night stand and if it wasn't for my blurry vision, then I'll say it was going on midday. _Midday?_ _Shit I slept that long! _I quickly rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and glanced at my watch for confirmation. Great! I was totally late for my classes. Well I couldn't really complain since I felt better already, but it was the middle of the afternoon for God sakes!

The knocking continued and I immediately shrugged my blankets off and stumbled to the door.

My muscles were aching in every inch of my body and unfortunately the God's weren't so good to me. I hadn't managed to land a black eye on my mother while training in the gym, and I wasn't expecting it to be so hard either. But it was the first time I actually had the chance to fight someone real challenging, since...well, Dimitri. I had to admit that the stress release was good, although, not as easy as I would've hoped for.

I did however, manage to pin her to the ground. That move was beginning to be my signature move lately and I got a few hits in on her too, but mostly I was on the defensive side as usual. I gotta hand to my mother, she's one tough guardian to break. After practice we made up cordially and put our differences behind us. Well, at least I think we did.

I wasn't sure if my mom would forgive me for what I said about her and Abraham, but what more could I do? I wasn't going to swallow my pride and crawl at her feet; I already apologized so I wasn't going to dwell on it, and besides, she wasn't one to hold grudges.

I heard the knocking thud louder and I scowled at the door.

"Yeah, yeah hold your freaking horses. I'm coming." I muttered slightly annoyed.

I opened the door to a proud and amused Adrian leaning on the door frame.

His smile kind of brightened up my mood and that was a shock even for me to have that feeling. I felt his eyes roaming down my body and I kind of felt self-conscious, well more embarrassed than anything.

I was wearing an over-sized black t-shirt that said in bold pink letters 'I love pink', and boxers on that had pictures of roses all over it; which I hated by the way, but they were a gift from Lissa so I wore them to show my appreciation—but why she insisted on buying them was beyond me. Seriously, her obsession with buying me rose stuff was just becoming, well, unhealthy.

I remembered that my hair was slightly disarrayed too; Man I seriously must've looked like a bush pig! I tried smoothing down my hair in an attempt to try look decent but I knew it was a little too late for that, besides it was only Adrian right? It wasn't like I had to impress him, but I put on my best man-eating smile anyway and decided to play.

"Found what you were looking for?" I purred and honestly? I don't know where this feeling was coming from but I was glad that he showed up when he did.

His eyes met mine. "I have now…" He smiled and then tilted his head. "I like your boxers, they look...cute..." He said in an attempt to compliment me.

I blushed. "Cute?"

"Well...yeah, but how you manage to stay beautiful even from sleeping is just...mmm." Okay, either he was mocking me, or he was just plain charming...but I didn't care, if I was going to try and block Dimitri out of my head, then getting a head start with Adrian was what I needed.

"Yeah I kind of get that a lot...so what do I owe this pleasure?" I asked and turned my back leaving the door open as if inviting him in, then made my way toward the bathroom.

I didn't want to look obvious and brush my teeth right in front of him so I squirted toothpaste into my mouth and swallowed it. Okay, bad idea, because that was just plain disgusting. I nearly gagged so I fetched a cup of water to rinse and made my way back to my bed.

"Well skipping class just to sleep _in_ is usually my way of thinking, but I thought you can do with a treat, so here I am...keeping you company." He smiled his charming smile showing a hint of his fangs.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not skipping class, actually if you don't mind I'd like to get dressed so I don't miss any more class time."

"Well lucky for you little dhampir it's Sunday, you don't have class today…well there's church to consider…but." He shrugged hiding a smirk on his face. Seriously, was it really Sunday? Wow! Yesterday with Dimitri _did_ really happen. I wasn't dreaming after all.

My eyebrows furrowed. "It's Sunday?" I asked with a confused expression. God, I don't know where I'd left my head if it wasn't screwed on, and I was definitely not ready to go back to church any time soon.

"Ugh! Well that's more of an excuse to sleep in then." I said wearily and jumped back in bed.

"Well, I pulled a few strings today so you've got the whole day off; no training, no church, just you and me." He said and sat down at the foot of my bed.

"How the hell did you manage that?" My face a big question mark.

He grinned "I'm an Ivashkov remember? I manage to do the strangest things."

I chuckled. "I know, tell me about it, but you didn't have to do that."

He shrugged. "I wanted to, and besides you needed your sleep and now we have plenty of time to kill so..."

"So…? What did you have in mind, Mr. Ivashkov who does the strangest things?" I asked and he pointed toward my nightstand. There was a Starbucks coffee-to-go-cup and a brown bag sitting there. _Well that explains the smell of coffee and pastry. _I thought to myself.

"I didn't see you in the commons for breakfast, so I brought it to you." He winked. My eyes were gleaming and I honestly couldn't remember the last time I even ate, so it was much appreciated. I wondered how he even got his hands on Starbucks but shrugged it off happy to have pastry in my system. I noticed his mouth open and then close as if he was about to say something.

"Spill it Ivashkov." I said with my mouth full. I admit it wasn't all that lady-like scoffing my face and talking with my mouth full but lets face it. I was never the lady-like type anyway.

"I just...well since I haven't had the chance to ask you out on a date yet, well, the offer still stands if you're still willing to give me a chance..." He said nervously while rubbing his hands on his thighs absently. I could tell that he was nervous, but it was worth every minute of it. I nodded absently while chugging down a hit of caffeine.

He smiled "...then I wanted to invite you to the masquerade ball this Friday at the Royal court." He added.

"Hmm...A dress up party under the scrutiny eyes of Queen B—Tatiana, well that's something to look forward to."

"Awesome!" He said completely ignoring my sarcasm. He recovered from his lapse of excitement and instantly went into Mr-yeah-whatever-that's-cool kind of mode.

I tried to conceal my smile. "What's the special occasion anyway?" I asked slightly amused at his enjoyment.

He shrugged. "Early graduation party I guess, and plus my Great-Aunt Tatiana thought it would be a perfect opportunity for the students to experience the 'ins and outs' of what goes on inside the Royal Court, so she insisted on throwing a party."

"How thoughtful of her, and why is it that this is my first time hearing about it?" I asked curiously.

"Well everyone's been talking about it for like the past month. I just thought you weren't interested so...yeah." Damn! that sounds a bit right. I vaguely remember Lissa talking about how she couldn't wait to dress up for a party and that we were going to the Royal Court but my head was always some place else almost like I missed a whole month of school.

"Thanks for the heads up." I murmured. I wasn't too keen on going to the Royal Court and was not in the mood to be packing my bags anytime soon, but if I was going to give Adrian a chance then I should at least take him up on his offer.

"I have nothing to wear." I blurted.

"Don't worry about that, your dress is already taken care of. I have everything under control. Just make sure you're there." He said and kissed me on the forehead.

Right then, something odd happened and abruptly I caught his shirt and pulled him closer. His lips hovered over me and all I was thinking was how those lips would taste on mine. I wanted to forget about yesterday and my strange encounter with Dimitri, and he was the perfect bait. His face lingered there for a while staring down into my eyes.

"Ah…Rose? Is everything alright?" He asked and I sensed his discomfort. I smiled. "I want you to compel me again, make me kiss you." I whispered.

He ran his fingers through his hair. "_Rose, _not this again. I want that moment to feel special. I don't want to be one of your experimental projects. Kiss me because you want to...not because I made you. I don't…"

I didn't let him finish and in one silent move I crushed my lips on his, pulling him closer. I knew I was totally out of line and a tad bit selfish, but I wanted to see if I could move on. The kiss I could say was something, I wouldn't say it was anything like Dimitri's intoxicating kiss, but it was a good distraction _and _different. I didn't really know how I felt at that moment; a little strange for kissing another guy; more guilty about how much heart-ache I would incur if I strung him along. God, I was digging my guilt deeper and that was frustrating.

Although no sparks were flying around the room, I didn't care, it was nice. I pulled back from the kiss leaving his pouted lips linger in the air. He stared at me in bewilderment.

"You were saying?" I asked smiling into his wide emerald eyes.

"What was that for? I mean don't get me wrong, it was…wow…but…" I chuckled.

"I'd love to accompany you to the masquerade ball Mr. Ivashkov." I said and then kissed him on the cheek and I admit, that was a little too formal coming from my mouth but I thought what the heck.

His eyes expanded and his hand lingered on his cheek where I had kissed it.

He smiled then grabbed my hand to kiss it. "Pleasure's all mine." He said politely. I giggled when he winked at me and he stood up to leave. As he made his way to the door he twisted around abruptly and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"Oh! I almost forgot why I came here, but your number one caller rang, and it sounded urgent so here…" He threw me his phone and I caught it with grace.

"He left a number…thought you'd want to know."

I smiled. "Thanks." I said and I was curious to know who my 'number one caller' would be, but then remembered that Abe had Adrian's number saved on his phone, so I guessed it was him.

"Don't mention it…but do remind me to get you a phone next time, unless you're willing to pay me for my services, because, well, being a messenger is hard work."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah just remind me not to shoot the messenger next time round." He chuckled sweeping me a bow and disappeared out of my room.

I flipped his phone open and scrolled down his contacts. I kind of felt like I was invading his privacy, but seeing so many girls names? Well, I admit I was jealous. I know, pathetic maybe, and I knew that Adrian was a charmer-with-the-ladies type, but I did feel a little envious. I wanted to be the only girl in his life and I know how selfish that may have sounded; considering he was not the only man in _my_ life, but I liked being the centre of his attention.

I sighed. Seriously? I wondered where the hell Adrian found time to take so many numbers. It looked like a freaking phone directory for the whole entire state of Washington. Finally I came to a name that stood out from all the different girls names when I read 'Rose's creepy stalker' I chuckled under my breath.

I got an answer on the second ring.

_"Merhaba!"_ A low voice greeted in a foreign language I didn't understand.

"Abraham? Is that you?" I asked curiously.

_"Rose? Is everything alright?" _He asked complete with concern.

"Of course it is. You wanted to talk to me old man, so let me hear it." I said as if to hurry him along.

_"Right, yes straight to business then...how do I say this?" _There was a brief moment of silence and then he added._ "I wanted to talk to you about...your mother and I." _He said awkwardly.

I chuckled humorlessly. "Whoa, whoa hold your horses old man, I am _not_ prepared to listen to a love sick story between you and my mother."

"_I know believe me, I wasn't planning on saying anything, but well, your mother insisted that I should at least give you an explanation to why I..." _I cut him off mid-sentenced.

"Trust me, I need no explanation to why my mother chose to be a guardian and you chose to, well, be a Moroi. I totally understand, but whatever happened in the past. We'll just leave it there I guess."

_"Okay...fair enough...so how are you?"_ He said happy to change the subject and I could sense his discomfort. It was kind of weird because I was completely uncomfortable with this too, and I wasn't sure if I should call him Abe anymore after all he was my father. But calling him _'dad' _didn't really fit, although Snr. Zmey had a ring to it.

"I'm good, well as good as can be expected." I said simply. It was a complete lie, but I didn't want him to worry about me.

_"That's good...well how's school?" _He asked trying to fit into his new role as my _father._

I rolled my eyes. "Abe, you totally suck at this don't you? Let's just save all the small talk for later okay? I get it that you're my father, and I'm your daughter, but can we just save the happy-family-showbiz for later? Because well I'm still getting my head around this, and, well you can understand right?"

_"Yeah, no...I totally agree with you." _Okay did he just say 'totally?'

"Good! So what was so urgent? I know you didn't try to contact me _just_ to tell me about you and my mother."

_"You're right...no that's not why I called. I wanted to inform you that Victor Dashkov has been transferred to another prison, but no-one knows where."_

"What! No you must have your wires crossed because no-one can just move him right?" I protested.

_"Well, your guess is as good as mine Rose." _He said.

"Yeah, but you of all people should know about these things. What happened to being this top hierarchy mobster guy that can pull anything off?"

_"Even I am limited to such things Rose, I can only do so much."_

"So you mean to tell me that someone is hiding him?" I shrieked. This was bad, very very bad.

_"I'm not a hundred percent sure at this point, but I'm positive that someone knows about your plans, so I thought you'd want to know. I'm sorry Rose but I have to go, but I'll talk to you soon."_

"No that's okay...oh and thanks, I appreciate it."

I, on the other hand was hundred percent sure that someone knew about my plans, and that was Dimitri.

_"No problem...I'll keep in touch."_ He said finally and hung the phone up. Damn! This was certainly not something that I needed to be dealing with right now.

I threw the phone down and slammed my face to bury it in my pillow. This was definitely gonna cause a difficult obstacle. Why did I have this feeling that the road of 'impossible' _just _headed down a detour into the 'inevitable' track? I wanted to scream my lungs out.

I wanted to believe that this was _not _happening to me right now. Who in their right mind would want to hide Victor Dashkov?

Ugh! I hated that he was my only lead to this wild goose chase. Even if I did find Victor, who's to say that he would tell me anything? What's the odds of this even working? Robert Duro's crazy ideas are probably best left in his crazy mind. God, even if I _was _able to beat the system and pull him out of jail. What then? Life goes back to the same as it was before?

I certainly didn't want Victor to be walking this earth as a free man. He was locked up for good and I wanted it to stay that way, but if there was a way to save Dimitri from his tainted soul then I had to give it a try. I just didn't know where to start.

I glanced out my window taking in every blazing star that lit the skies darkness.

I was thinking about where Dimitri would be and what he was doing at this particular moment. Was he still lurking outside the gates of the Academy? Did he go back to Russia and give up on me because I turned him down? I wanted to see him again and as odd as it may sound. I wanted to wear the red-dress again because I knew he liked it.

It was 1:00pm and I still had some time to kill.

I shrugged myself off my bed and showered in an attempt to try look decent. I rummaged through my clothes to find the red-dress but to my horror I found it on my floor covered in coffee. _Shit! _I must've bumped my coffee cup and spilled it on it.

Great! Now what was I going to wear? I knew I was being silly but something inside of me wanted to impress him. I wanted him to fuss over me and buy me gifts. I wanted to go to Galina's estate and live with him for eternity, but I knew it was just my out-of-control impulses talking.

I found my little black dress instead and shrugged it on. I wasn't sure if he would like it, but with the way it accentuated my curves, well, let's just say it didn't leave much to the imagination.

I ducked out of my dorm checking if anybody was in the middle of the hallway. With a satisfied glee I raced down and scurried along campus doing the same thing to avoid everyone, then made my way toward the wrought iron gates. I wasn't sure to what I would say to him, or _do_ but all I knew is that I wanted to see him _so _bad.

I skidded to halt when I saw someone on guard duty. _Shit! It was Alberta. _I needed to create a diversion and get rid of her, but I didn't want to start a scene, because we all know where I would end up if I tried, and I certainly didn't want Kirova on my back again. So I hid behind a pillar and prepared myself for the worst.

My praying must've worked because Alberta was called up by one of the other guardians. I stepped out into view when I heard her say "Sorry I can't I'm on guard duty."

"Alberta!" She turned toward me with her eyebrows furrowed.

"I'll guard the gates for you." I yelled coming closer to her.

"Rose? What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be in church?"

"No, besides I thought you could do with some help and it sounded urgent, so you better go. You know I'm a good guardian so I'll guard it with my life." I said in an attempt to try get rid of her. It must've worked because she nodded.

"You sure? I don't want you..." I didn't let her finish and waved a hand up in front of her.

"It's fine, go, I'll be fine, it's only a gate right?" She smiled. "Thanks, I'll be back soon." I heard her murmur something on the phone and hung up.

"Thanks Rose."

"No problem. Take your time." I said and I really meant it. I wanted her to take all the time in the world because I wouldn't know what I would do if I was caught talking to a Strigoi.

I smiled as I watched her retreating figure disappear and scanned the area to see if there was anybody around, Dimitri in particular.

I cleared my throat. "Dimitri! Where are you?" I yelled trying my hardest not to attract any others attention. Silence drifted through the breeze so I raised my voice.

"Dimitri, I know you're there!" I yelled again.

I heard a rustle of trees and my heart skipped a beat but to add to my disappointment it wasn't anything, it was just the wind. Damn it! Who was I kidding? I knew this was a stupid idea and why would he still be here anyway? He's probably got better things to do, like stalk the living daylights out of his prey. Why would he waste his time stalking me right?

"Dimitri, where are you?" I murmured to no one in particular.

I sighed and turned to walk away. I don't know what I was thinking anyway, he was long gone and I knew that this idea was off by a long shot.

In a brief moment my guard shot up when I felt nausea sweep my brain. I jerked my head toward the gates and locked eyes with Dimitri. He was standing there, as if he had been there for ages. I was reliving my first encounter with him, but this time I wasn't scared. This time I was in control, he wasn't going to take my sanity. I was going to fight for it back.

"D-Dimitri?" I stuttered, suddenly I didn't feel like I could talk, but I swallowed all my fear and did my best to summon the big-bad-ass-Rose-Hathaway.

"Rose?" He said and his mouth twitched askew. "I knew you would change your mind." He finished.

I shook my head. "I didn't come here to talk about _us_, I wanted to know if you knew where..." I paused. I didn't know if I should tell him or trust him, but it was my only chance left. I had to know if he knew the whereabouts of Victor Dashkov.

"So, you don't want to join me I take it?" He asked slightly annoyed. I shook my head again.

"No, I wanted to know if...I want you to tell me where Victor Dashkov is incarcerated."

He raised his eyebrow. "Victor Dashkov? Why would you want to know that?" He said folding his arms across his chest. A hint of his aftershave skimmed across my nose, and man did it smell good. I missed that intoxicating scent that use to drive me into a coma. _Cool it Rose, he's still a Strigoi. _I reluctantly pushed my thoughts aside.

I shook my head again. "It doesn't matter, please I need to know." I pleaded with urgency.

He tilted his head in thought. "Say I _did _know where Victor Dashkov was...what would I get in return?" He asked slightly hinting that he was on the verge of blackmail.

I narrowed my eyes. "Forget it! I am NOT going to join you! I'm not that desperate. You can go to hell, I'll just find out from somebody else!" I snapped as rage fumed out of my ears.

"Well then you can forget about Victor Dashkov too." He replied in a harsh tone. I flinched. Okay, he was going to make me work for it, but I wasn't too keen on the guessing games.

"You probably don't even know where he is anyway! You're just bluffing, I know how you work Dimitri, you can't fool me!" I said furiously.

He smiled showing his fangs. "And you can't fool me either, you want me. I can see it in your eyes." He stated confidently.

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_**A/N:** Whoa! Sorry about the chapter being _so _long, but I wanted to bring Abe and Adrian in, and I wanted to bring Dimitri back in too, because well lets face it, he makes any story interesting...Christian and Lissa are in the next scene so when I'm satisfied with my reviews I'll post the next one up sooner...hehe:P:P but I know for all the Dimitri fans you need to see him, well including me I needed to see him in my chapters so you'll be seeing a lot of him lolz...._

_**so review pretty please with Dimitri on top!!! I know you want to :P:P**_

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	6. Chapter Five

_**A/N: **Hey my fellow readers! Sorry for the slow updates, I won't bore you with excuses but I have to say a huge THANKS to the people who take the time out to review my story!! I love that you guys are honest, and don't be shy to point out grammar mistakes and spelling errors, maybe you just want to say my story sucks lol I don't mind I like honesty!! I had a hard time writing this scene, only because I was going for a climax chapter but then remembered I said this was about Christian and Lissa so I done that instead. So I wrote this chapter different three times and deleted many lol so hope this is good for the while. Okay ranting over hope you enjoy!!_

**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own anything; Richelle Mead owns it all for those who don't know already lol

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**Chapter Five**

DIMITRI STOOD THERE WITH his arms still folded across his chest; with a smug look washed across his face waiting for me to reply.

I could see he still cared for me, but the monster refused to express it. I rolled my eyes at his statement. This was getting old and tiresome arguing who wants the other more.

It was ironic really; a few months ago it seemed impossible to get Dimitri to lighten up once in a while; with his taut features and his god-like poise, that made him so badass it was ridiculous, but now? He was as stubborn and as arrogant as, well…me (although I wasn't one to berate myself in anyway), I can honestly say that this _new_ Dimitri was some getting used to, that's for sure.

"Cocky much?" I replied dryly.

I stepped closer mirroring his posture by folding my arms across my chest narrowing my eyes.

**"**_Seriously_, I think your head is too far up your ass to notice any better," I said in my Hathaway-style-attitude. "You still act like you're in control, but I always knew, deep down inside you're weak! Just like the time you held me at Galina's estate…you could've made me join you, but you couldn't…because you're weak!" I retorted.

If he was allowed to act like an arrogant prick? Then I could at least give him a run for his money. His jaw tightened slightly but instantly faded into something that could be passed as a smile. He tilted his head in thought regarding me curiously.

"Says the girl who failed to kill me…" He replied in an even tone, and that only made his smile grow wider.

I flinched. That took me off guard for a second and immediately I was offended; not to mention embarrassed. Ugh! _Now, _I hated this new Dimitri. The old-Dimitri used to be strong, calm and collective, but add a mix of Strigoi blood? And apparently, it makes one sarcastic, arrogant asshole.

I glared at him. I replayed those events of me standing on the bridge looking over the Ob River many, many times over and thinking how my death had been such a small breath away, but even still, I had thought I killed this man standing before me.

The man I gave my all to whom I'd fit so perfectly in sync with. Now he was a constant reminder of my failures: Failing to kill him and release the tainted blood of a twisted being; failing to love him with all my heart and soul and join him; and better yet I had failed to let him go.

All of which I'd failed to realize until now. I pursed my lips together trying to make out what to say next. I sure as hell didn't want his words to stab me in the heart; or show at least. My hands were shaking a little but my ego refused to falter, and I thought it was about time I knocked his down for a change.

"Yeah well, I wouldn't be too quick to judge if I were you, after all _I'm _still alive; either that makes you a clumsy Strigoi, or a hopeless romantic." I said bluntly.

He stifled a laugh. "I guess I'm a little bit of both when I'm around you, Rose," He teased and beamed a wicked smile. I admit, I was slightly giving in to this new Dimitri, but I tried to hide it by my snarky comments.

I rolled my eyes again. "Forgive me for not swooning at your feet, Romeo." I said a little bored and then put my serious-game-face on. "Look, are you gonna tell me where Victor Dashkov is? Or do I have to beat it out of you?" I said impatiently.

I knew what he was doing. He was trying to throw me off track and distract me. He chuckled again. _Seriously, _since when did Dimitri laugh so much? Even if it was cold and Strigoi-like, I loved his laugh. I could listen to him forever, as if it were my own lullaby. I sighed thinking about it.

"_Now_ who's being cocky? But I'd like to see you try," He teased snapping me out of my reverie, and that only made my anger fume.

"Ugh! You're impossible, do-you know that?" I was getting frustrated now.

He chuckled. "Okay, I'll make you a deal, Rose. I'll give you a hint to where you can find Victor, if you tell me exactly how you would dispatch me in your given situation." He said firmly as if we were back in the gym like it was a normal training session.

God, even as a Strigoi, his 'Zen lessons' were something he never let up. I thought about it for a second.

"First of all I'll stake you with my heel of my shoe, and then—" He cut me off and shook his head in disapproval.

"Your staking techniques are still a little rusty, Rose; especially with something as simple as your heel, but your biggest mistake is conduct." He interrupted and stepped closer almost touching the gate. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Stuff that, these heels can do some justice in any given situation…"

I tried to protest and then stopped just as I saw a girl walking behind Dimitri. It was the same girl who had handed me the letter earlier; whom I thought was a hall matron. She was a little short around five, five with sleek honey brown hair that was slightly wavy around the shoulders, with matching colored eyes.

I didn't take note of what she looked like before, but she was obviously beautiful _and _human? That took me off guard. _Dimitri's working with a human? That's impossible._ I studied her further; she had a few curves like me, but slightly skinnier wearing a pair of black slacks and a white blouse, but the yellow scarf she wore made her attire look slightly out of place, and Dimitri seemed to know her too.

Well, who didn't Dimitri know in this small world? I was slightly envious of this girl all of a sudden, because I knew that Dimitri had been spending time with her, and not with me. I watched her grab something out of her pockets and keys jingled at her side.

She slid the keys on the gate and my killer instincts were on high alert. _Shit! She's opening the gate? Oh my god she's opening the gate! How is that possible?_ I silently thought and backed away stumbling.

A cold menacing smile played up on Dimitri's lips.

"Unlikely, I thought you of all people would have learnt your lesson by now, Rose," He said and then added. "What do you do when you have nothing to your advantage, you what?" He recited his lesson that he taught me the first time in training.

His eyes were burning holes into my soul waiting for me to react, or say something.

"I didn't hear you, Rose. Say that again," He taunted; acting like a true Strigoi. I backed away again, choking on each word.

"Y-you…" I tried to say but it came out like a weird noise like my teeth were chattering.

"You what?" He repeated.

_You run._

I silently finished for him and my heart started racing along with the nauseous feeling. I realized the girl had trouble opening the gate, and she seemed frustrated now.

"It's not working." The girl groaned with a thick Russian accent, while looking at Dimitri apologetically.

I was silently thanking God for Alberta changing all the locks after the incident when the school was ransacked with Strigoi. I let out a loud exasperated sigh as if I had been holding my breath for too long.

I could see Dimitri getting agitated and heard a low snarl in the back of his throat. He glared at me as if it was my fault for changing the locks. He kept his gaze on me while leaning in toward the girls' ear speaking in his native tongue.

She nodded and disappeared without another word. I watched her retreating figure and then turned my gaze on Dimitri. He smiled abruptly and my eyes were glued to his red-rimmed pupils.

"Open the gate Rose," He said in a sickly sweet voice. I smiled back while my eyes glazed over.

"I don't have the keys," I said in a total haze of blissfulness. He stepped closer to the gate and held my gaze.

"You want me don't you, Rose?" He asked and I nodded.

"I want you, Dimitri." I said evenly, almost like a robot. "I've always wanted you," I stated as a matter-of-fact.

"Well, then you will get the keys and open the gate," He said in that sweet, sweet voice and I felt like my body would melt at the tip of his tongue.

I nodded, but before I could say something else, Dimitri vanished as if a gust of wind picked up his body and swept him across the breeze in an instant blur. I blinked again as my dhampir hearing sensed someone. I heard footsteps creep up behind me so I swung my head in my intruders' direction. It was Alberta.

She smiled. "Thanks for filling in for me Rose, but I can take it from here." Alberta sounded in the background rounding from the corner of a building. She came to a halt right next to me.

"The keys…I need the keys," I said under my breath. Alberta looked at me expectantly.

"Keys to what?" She asked curiously.

"I need the keys…" I repeated again staring past her. She tapped me on the shoulder.

"Keys to what, Rose?" She asked again. I shook my head blinking my eyes continuously.

"What?" I asked incredulously as if she was crazy.

Alberta furrowed her eyebrows. "You wanted the keys to something."

"I did?" I said scratching my head to try jog my memory.

That's when I realized something. I was standing by the gate and remembered I was talking to Dimitri. Did he just use super-compulsion on me? _Son of a bitch! He compelled me! _That freaking piece of...I wanted to strangle him right then and there. I noticed Alberta staring at me as if I had something on my face.

"What's wrong Rose?" She asked. I smiled half-heartedly.

"Nothing, I'm just having one of those days." I murmured still stuck in my half-hazed phase.

"Well, thanks again Rose," She said.

"No problem, what was so important anyway?"

"Oh false alarm, some kids broke into the office, but nothing seems to be missing, so it's fine now." I nodded absentmindly.

"That's weird…" I admitted.

"So anything exciting happen?" She asked in a sarcastic tone.

_Oh just the fact that I was this close away from opening the gate for Dimitri-Strigoi Dimitri to be exact; whom could kill me in an instant, and reign down terror if he wanted to, but other than that? Nothing _Is what I really wanted to say but instead I shook my head, "I was bored out of my mind."

She scoffed a little. "Told you it was depressing."

I nodded. "Very..." I agreed.

"I think you're wanted in the commons area anyway, Lord Ivashkov was looking for you, he seemed…edgy I guess." She shrugged.

I smiled, "Oh? I was afraid you were gonna say he seemed normal for once," I joked and she just smiled and dismissed me with a wave of her hand.

I started toward the commons replaying my conversation I had with Dimitri, but heard voices coming from the courtyard area just a few feet away from the chapel. As I came closer I could hear Lissa's voice and muffled tone that sounded a lot like Christian's. I silently scolded myself for eaves-dropping, but my curiosity won out on me and I had to see how this story was going to play out between the two.

I ducked out of sight and listened in on them. I couldn't hear anything audible from my stand point so I took advantage of the bond I shared with Lissa, and I knew she would probably stone me to death if she found out that I was spying in on her, but I promised myself that I will get out-of there before any clothes were to be shed.

I focused on Lissa and slipped into her head.

Lissa was in her normal elegant attire fit for a royal; with a lime green satin dress that skimmed above her knees; which complimented her jade green eyes and her platinum blonde hair pinned up high with a plaited spiral; it almost looked like a crown sitting on her head.

Christian, still the depressed looking kid that hid his head in his shoulders stood a few feet away from her. He seemed to have a bit of light shed in his eyes again, and seeing Christian through Lissa's eyes clearly showed that she loved him nonetheless.

I guess that was one of the many charms that Lissa brought out of him, of anyone for that matter. Lissa sat on a bench looking intently at the rose bush sprawled out it front of them. I knew I must've missed most of the conversation because they were at the apology stage. Lissa looked up at him.

"Christian? You don't have to apologize for anything. It was my fault…I was vulnerable, and never should've let Avery influence me in anyway." She said sadly, the memory of it made her shudder. I could feel it as if it were _my_ memory.

Christian kneeled down in front of her and placed his hand on hers awkwardly. He shook his head. "That's not why I'm apologizing…I…well, for the past month or so, I've been a jerk, and you don't deserve that…I should've talked to you about it, and not jump to conclusions, I guess that's why I'm sorry." He said finally.

Lissa struggled to see the fault in his disagreement because she knew that everything was her fault.

She smiled, "I'm sorry too…I'm sorry how all of this got out of hand…I miss…" Lissa choked on her words. I could feel through the bond that she wanted to say she missed _him._ But something in her mind told her that she might be getting ahead of herself.

Instead she said, "I miss being happy." She smiled halfheartedly.

"Depends on what you define as being happy," Christian stated while a smile tugged at his lips, "because if happy means that you're back to flipping your hair sideways and getting drunk at all hours of the night, then I'll need a heads up." He said in an attempt to lighten the mood. It worked. Lissa and I chuckled.

"I don't swing my hair, when I'm drunk" she protested.

"No, but I'll love to see it play out one day, that would be fun." Lissa hit him on the arm playfully hiding a grin. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm kidding, but I like the old Lissa, the one who sucks up to her royal highness just to please the royal bitch even if she doesn't deserve your kindness, and I miss the girl who pours her heart out to me every time Rose just happened to be busy with guardian duties, I miss protecting her—the old Lissa I fell in love with, the girl I'm still in love with." He said changing his tone to sweet charming Christian.

Lissa's jade eyes were wide with amazement and she smiled, "She's still here, somewhere I guess," she chimed lightly lowering her head to the ground. Christian cupped his hand under her chin gently to force her to look at him.

"Well, then can you please tell her that Christian Ozera wants to take her to the ball this Friday, I'll promise she can swing her hair anyway she wants, as long as she says yes." He said and both Lissa and I laughed.

"You'd go to the Royal Court?"

He nodded, "depends...was that a yes?" He asked.

She nodded. "She'd love to," She said and Christian leaned in to kiss her. Their kiss was sweet and I was almost tugging to get out but Lissa had read my mind.

Lissa pulled back slightly, "Does this mean we're back together?" She whispered against his lips.

He nodded, "Only if she wants to." He breathed. "Oh she wants to," she said and laced her hands around his neck to pull him closer. He chuckled against her lips admiring her sudden eagerness.

The kiss became too intense to stick around for, and I certainly didn't want nightmares so I pulled out before any clothes could be removed.

Back in my own mind and body, all my worries came flashing back. I was happy that they were finally back together, but something at the back of my mind envied Lissa.

I took a stab of jealousy toward my best friend again because Lissa yet again got some kind of happy ending; I was still on the road of searching for mine. I knew it was wrong of me but in that split of a second, I hated her; but I knew it was my irrational thoughts getting the best of me.

I glanced back at the gates to reassure myself that Dimitri had gone.

I had to believe that my fairy tale still existed and that someday, or sooner than I'd hope for, I'll have _my_ happily-ever-after. I'll get _my_ prince like I always dreamed of, and this nightmare would be all for something.

If my life was truly something on the precipice of being a dream? Then I was holding on to a thin line to be rescued.

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_**A/N: **__There you have it guys, sorry but I had to bring Christian and Lissa back together lol I wanted to see them back because I love them two (next to RoseXDimitri of course) feel free to voice your opinions…good or bad I'd love to hear them!! Oh and the bit when Dimitri or rather the girl tries to open the gates with 'keys' well correct me if I'm wrong please because I forgot if they need keys to open the gate, or the wards are just used to secure them, so tell me and I'll change it if I'm wrong okay?_


	7. Chapter Six

_**A/N: **__HEY everyone! I missed you guys! Sorry I know I haven't updated in like forever, what is it now? Over two months? Maybe? Man you must think I'm a BLEEP*itch lol. I was inspired by the many badgering reviewers who keep me at a high and remind me to update, so thank you all who review!!! You guys are literally awesome!!! In advance, this chapter is long. Hope you guys enjoy._

**Disclaimer: **I DO NOT own VA or any of its characters obviously. If I did, I would be the proud owner Richelle Mead, last time I checked, I so wasn't her. 

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**Chapter Six**

**I** LEANED AGAINST THE WALL just inches away from the courtyard where I had been prying into Lissa's personal life—lost in thought. I was slowly sinking through quick sand with my own screwed up life, I never thought of how selfish I had been toward her. She was my best friend—_more_ than a friend—almost a _sister_.

Surely she didn't deserve my black cloud of depression hovering over her. Over the few months I had been back here inside the Academy's four walls, it occurred to me that maybe_ I_ was the one holding her back from Christian. That maybe if I wasn't so possessive over her, her and Christian could've made amends a few months ago.

After all I was the one convincing her not to push Christian and subdued her in order to give him some space. Maybe if I had stayed out of it they may have been reunited a long time ago.

I mean sure I talked Christian in to talking to Lissa _now_, but shouldn't I have had that talk earlier in the month? I couldn't help but blame myself for not being as loyal as I should have been. I was a selfish wreck and I thought that maybe with Christian out of the picture—I could have Lissa back, just like old times.

I thought that if I could deal with hearing her grief and her failed love life, that maybe my love life—or lack there of—wouldn't seem so bad.

I sighed thinking about it. Though I had Lissa, she was never rightly mine. I could never own her like that (not that I would want to) but the thought of having her by my side every second, numbed the pain that I had for Dimitri.

Adrian too, he didn't deserve what I was putting him through either. He was a mere seat filler, or a stand in although much more than that, but the love wasn't there. Maybe it was lust or maybe something else? I wasn't sure. It was like I was compelled to be with him; just to fill this void.

Dimitri was another story. He compelled my heart, my soul and every fiber of my being. Something stronger held me to him and his name. Was it possible he was my soul-mate? It did feel like my soul was embedded in his, as if we were destined to be, but could we really be assigned to another soul? Spirit bounded if you will.

I often found myself contradicting my beliefs and had a hard time separating fact from fiction. Then again love was under my list of fiction and I fell for it. If love existed then fiction existed. If fiction existed, then fairy tale's existed and that was what I was holding on to.

However, fate could change its course, it may open our eyes up for possibilities, sure, but it's those who tell us otherwise that deceives us from seeing things clearly. I for one say fate bought us together. A little cliché, maybe, but I loved him nonetheless. He occupied my thoughts, my dreams even my nightmares. My stomach clenched to even think of him.

Seeing him was worst.

My memories of him didn't do him much justice. The fictionalized voice I often summoned up in my head didn't either. But there were slight changes made in his appearance now.

His lips were sharper than the soft plumps I remembered. The tickling sensation they left behind after he kissed me was no more than a flitted memory. His face was as pale as a marbled tile. His voice reverberated through my ears when he spoke; a tone that was foreign to my ears and more harsh in comparison.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to remember the old-Dimitri, the one I fell in love with. I could hear his native tongue murmuring beside me as if he were singing me a lullaby. His image stained the back of my eyelids as I pictured him holding me, expressing his love to me and promising to keep me safe. I could smell his aftershave as he lay next to me; wrapped up in each others blissfulness.

His dark eyes told me secrets in another language as I struggled to translate them into words. It was like his body called to me and I was constantly in command to follow. Yes, he had a hold on me; which made things complicated, because he was no longer a man I could trust.

He was twisted and a Strigoi; the enemy.

I had to push my heart to the side and follow my head for this journey. My heart was unreasonable at a time like this. It would have to wait. Logic and reason would have to lead me and guide me through this labyrinth. Love would have to be locked away for safe keeping.

"There you are, I've been looking all over for you!"

Adrian's voice sounded from behind me. I jumped and swung my head in his direction. I slammed my palm against my chest as my heart flipped out of control.

"Whoa you freaked the hell out of me!" I said as my heart raced before me.

It was silly really, but ever since Dimitri's appearance? I haven't been myself lately. Well, who could blame me? _Especially _now that I know he was working with a human. Ugh! How did I not see this coming? Shouldn't I have known Dimitri would do something like this? He was a Strigoi after all; maybe I forget that part about him and see what I want to see.

So Dimitri had a plan...cunning or sly? Maybe, but I knew he had some kind of plan, and I was absolutely positive it involved me in a casket.

I shook my thoughts aside and met my eyes to Adrian; a smile touched my face but disappeared as soon as I studied his. Well, it was either a sign of good girl gone bad situation or someone had robbed his vodka stash. Looking 'edgy' was Alberta's way of putting it mildly. He looked pissed! I furrowed my eyebrows.

"You okay?"

His face looked at me accusingly and I was starting to wonder if I was to blame. Maybe it _was_ a bad case of good girl gone bad, after all I was something along the lines of that, although I'm not too sure I was 'good' in the first place.

He shrugged his shoulders.

Okay, now something really was bothering him. Did I cause this erratic mood that he supposedly had? Or was this a new case of PMS for the male gene? Well, whatever it was I can assure you it wasn't pretty.

I watched him reach for his pockets in an attempt to pull his cigarettes out but then stuffed them back in as soon as a guardian was about to approach us. We straightened up as soon as Alberta passed as she gave a subtle nod.

"You kids shouldn't be out here, it's nearly dinner." I nodded.

"We're on our way, guardian Petrov," I said trying my best to sound lucid. After discovering I was under the influence of compulsion earlier, I didn't want her to get all suspicious on me. My smile faltered as soon as I saw Adrian raising his eyebrow.

"Don't be too long!" Alberta ordered and then halted when a thought came to her mind. She looked at me. "—Oh and Rose…?" She paused as her eyes addressed me with scrutiny (more at my dress than directly at me).

"Hmmm…?" I grunted. She raised both of her eyebrows and pointed toward my dress.

"Do I have to remind you about the dress-code?" I shook my head

"Oh…no," I brushed my clingy black dress down self consciously. God, I forgot I even had the stupid thing on; I was surprised she didn't mention it earlier.

"Very well, I expect you in more formal attire tomorrow; you have standards to live up to now. It won't be too long before you're an official guardian." She said sternly.

I nodded and covered what I could with my arms, suddenly feeling exposed. I chuckled humorlessly.

"I'm aware of that, and yes I'll dress more appropriate next time." She nodded.

"I'll see you in the commons, and don't forget our training tomorrow," she reminded me and I nearly cussed out loud.

Alberta and I had been training for a few weeks now but it was hard for her to create new challenges for me. I was advanced in most of my classes thanks to Dimitri but I often thought that sometimes classes where slightly tedious for me to keep going. I mean I'm never going to get any better if I learn the same moves, and I'm certainly not going to improve if there's no challenge.

"Lord Ivashkov," she bowed her head in strict formality as a farewell and walked toward the commons area.

I fixed my gaze back on Adrian. My eyebrows creased together.

"So what's with you today?" I asked curiously. He just rolled his eyes as he rested on the side of the building.

"Oh like you don't know!" He said exasperated as he pulled his packet of smokes from his pocket. He was slightly taking his frustration out on the poor things.

"Okay…but whatever the case, I'm sure the packet of smokes didn't mean to." I said watching the way his hands squeezed the last of his herbal smoke packet. He shoved the smoke into his mouth giving his lighter a few flicks until it pierced the paper with red and orange flames. He took a heavy drag as if doing it on purpose. He rolled his eyes.

"Well, excuse me for not being a bad-ass cradle snatcher," he said blowing out a cloud of smoke through each word. God, if I didn't know any better, I would say he was accusing me for something, that, and he was smoking again? I waved the smoke out of my face and coughed.

"Oh okay, so I'm just supposed to know what you're talking about, because I'm psychic now? Thanks for the heads up…and I thought you gave up smoking!" My eyes furrowing at his behavior.

"Don't turn this around on me Rose; if it wasn't for that stupid act you just pulled now, you'd be dead!" He said pointing at me accusingly.

Well, this was getting really annoying now, especially with his hands waving in my face when I don't know what the hell he is talking about, but if he's referring to slipping inside Lissa's head to eavesdrop…? Well, I'd hardly call it a death wish, unless it involved clothing removal from fire boy. I shuddered.

"Adrian, what the hell are you talking about?" I finally asked. He threw his hands up in exasperation.

"You and Belikov, I saw you with him!" He stated.

Suddenly my face blanched all over as a shiver trailed up my spine. _Shit! _My eyes did a double take. He saw me talking to Dimitri—Strigoi Dimitri? I was on the verge of hyperventilating. Damn, if that was the case? I'd say he was taking all this really calmly. I was about to protest but he cut me off.

"—and don't even try to deny it either, the only time your aura glows like that, _he_ seems to show up," he said in disgust.

I could feel my heart racing and I don't even know if I was capable of speech. In an instant I felt heat rush to the base of my cheeks and the nape of my neck. I stared at him in bewilderment and suddenly felt a dry spell in the back of my throat. I struggled to swallow that lump that clogged my throat.

"I—I…" I said but as usual my voice betrayed me in an instant.

I was slightly wondering why this was hard for me to deal with. I mean I shouldn't have to explain myself for talking to Dimitri, do I? It's not like we go out yet? Or well not in the sense of dating, but then again that's exactly why I felt the urge to explain myself. Because there was something between us, and Adrian out of all people deserved my loyalty and an explanation, but my mouth just couldn't do it and I just froze.

"Oh great! The cat finally caught up with your tongue, goodnight Hathaway!" He said throwing down his barely lit cigarette and stomping on it to put it out.

He turned to walk away without another word. Okay, I was beginning to think that we were already an old married couple before we even had time to settle our feet in the sand. I couldn't leave things like this and definitely couldn't let this conversation burn out. This had to stay between him and me.

I hadn't even told Lissa and she'll freak if she learned that Adrian knew before her. I swallowed my pride and decided to fill him in with my plans. Although Lissa knew most of it, the important parts at least. But I kind of left out the gory details that involved Dimitri; which also involved our secret rendezvous, and quite possibly, my casket.

"Adrian! Wait!" I yelled but he kept walking.

"Adrian!" I yelled again but he just waved me off and kept walking. I silently cussed myself as I thought of how careless I was to be talking to Dimitri when people like Adrian could be watching. I pursed my lips wondering if I should let him cool off or at least explain myself to him later, but I just couldn't let this one go. I sighed and ran after him.

"Adrian, will you stop for a second?!" I demanded and grabbed a hold of his arm but he yanked it back and kept walking.

Right, he was going to be difficult. Well, I had one option on how I was going to settle this, but it wasn't going to be pretty. I grabbed his arm twisted it behind his back and rammed him into the wall, using my whole body strength to pin him there. Something Dimitri taught me when his 'students' AKA me, decided to be stubborn and difficult.

"Rose, what the hell are you doing?!" He shrieked struggling in my hold.

Although he was twice my size, I used my guardian training to my advantage; which made me stronger than he was and if I remember correctly? He said he liked the way I roughed him up. _So consider this foreplay, Ivashkov._I kept that little detail to myself, because he didn't seem like he was in the mood for foreplay, although I wouldn't put it past him just yet, it just wasn't the time for teasing.

I would also get in major trouble if I was to get caught holding a Moroi against their will, especially Lord Ivashkov; great nephew of thee Queen Bitch Tatiana. I already had a warning on my record and this? It'll do wonders for my honorary points, because well, after all I nearly staked the poor guy, this wouldn't look any better on my behalf.

"I want you to listen for a sec, please?" I asked. He jerked in my hold trying to struggle his hands free.

"Would you just let go of me!" He demanded in an eerie octave that pierced my ears and I kind of smiled at his pleading voice. He sounded cute. _Rose, you're not supposed to have fun with this._

"If I let go of you, will you hear me out?" He kept still.

"Fine Rose, just let go of me!" He said and I let him go.

He turned on his heels and the look on his face was astonished to say the least. He patted down the part of his shirt where I had ruffled it and ran his hands through his hair which I knew was an act of frustration. I stood there staring back at him with an apologetic look on my face. I didn't even know where to start. I don't even know why I was nervous but something about the way he looked at me, made me nervous.

"Sorry, I just had to…" He cut me off mid sentenced.

"Kill me first, and then apologize later?" He retorted. I pursed my lips.

"I need you to listen to me Adrian; it's not what it looked like."

"Oh yeah? Enlighten me," he said.

I started fidgeting with my fingers and I started tasting copper in my mouth as I bit down on my lips too hard. I was never this nervous about anything. I usually played it cool and dusted myself off, but somehow this situation was unavoidable. Especially now that Adrian out of all people knows that Dimitri is near; who could possibly be plotting my death or the rest of the student body for all I knew.

All I needed to know is that I had to clean up this mess before it got out of hand.

"Right, where do I start," I mumbled trying to look for an opening line to start my insane story.

"How about why the hell you were talking to Belikov; a Strigoi even?" He said impatiently. I looked around to see if we didn't have an audience and pulled him out of the light into the shadows. I lowered my voice and leaned in toward him.

"Promise not to tell a soul?" He nodded. "Cross my heart and hope to die," he agreed. I relayed the whole story on how Victor needed to be broken out of jail in order to find his half brother and how he was the beholder of a new revolution for Strigoi to be cured from the darkness. I left nothing out. I told him why Dimitri was here and how he wanted me to join him. I even told him about Galina's estate and my time in Russia. By the end of my epic tale I found myself panting. I didn't even realize I was crying.

"Oh Rose! Why didn't you tell me this before? I could've helped you through it...come here!" He said and pulled me into a tight embrace. He kissed my forehead and smoothed his hands over my sleek dark brown hair in a soothing motion.

I let my tears soak his shirt.

This was exactly what I tried to avoid, but it felt so good to have it off my chest. I felt him kissing the side of my forehead as I nestled in the crook of his neck. It felt so good to be held by him; protected and safe. Abruptly I turned to look up at him and held his eyes with mine for those plentiful seconds. A moment passed, and if by reflex I caught his lips with mine. I acted on impulse and kissed him.

His tongue brushed against my bottom lip commanding for an invite and I obeyed with pleasure. It was gentle at first but soon turned into something hungry, and my mind struggled to focus because I was lost in his kiss. His embrace. His touch. It was good, but it wasn't Dimitri.

I pulled away and wiped my face as if to rid off my tears of shame. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to, I-I should go." I said lamely. He pulled me closer as his arms rested on my waist.

"I can't do this, Adrian, I..."

"Wait, you want this don't you? I know you do, so why do you fight it...?" I was speechless.

"It's because of him right?" I stayed silent.

"Answer me this...if this Robert Duro proves his theory to be true? You think that it would help Belikov…right?" He chuckled humorlessly. "Of course this is what you were planning right? You cure the bad-ass Strigoi mentor, and then you both live happily ever after, how did I not see this coming?" He added wistfully. "And the kiss was nothing more than the 'I-feel-sorry-for-the-pathetic-loser' kind of kiss?"

"Adrian, it's not like that at all! I kissed you not because I felt sorry for you, but because I was starting to feel something with you—for you, but I guess that's all that matters to you huh? Just the making out part—the part where you just want to get in my pants, it makes sense I'm sure with your given rep! Maybe I _should'_ve kissed a pathetic loser instead. Maybe they'll appreciate it." I was angry now and I started to walk away, but he caught me by my arm.

"I'm sorry Rose, I didn't mean that," he said and brushed a stray hair out of my face. He gazed at me, then at the ground then back at me. "I guess, that was a little overboard of me, but I just wished you would've told me sooner, maybe it'd save you from stringing me along."

"That's not what this is and you know it! But I do like you Adrian, I really do," I said.

"But…there's always a, but."

"Adrian," I said with sincerity.

"My little dhampir, I know you too well to be a little less blunt, and believe me, it's one of the reasons why I like you so much, but please spare me the prep talk. I know how this goes, you love me as a friend, but you're not _in_ _love_ with me. I get it."

"Adrian, I'm sorry." I said finally. I didn't deny it nor did I admit it.

"It's okay Rose, really. You'd think I'll be used to it by now, but I said I'll wait forever, so this is me being patient." He said and then added, "if it's any consolation, then count me in on your insane mission to finding this long lost brother of Victor's. I'll take the political side of things, just leave it to me." He said clasping his hands to mine. I stared at him in disbelief.

"You'd do that?" He sighed. I couldn't believe it. Adrian was determined to help me find Victors brother even if it meant that there was a possibility that Dimitri could be cured? If that wasn't loyalty, then I don't know what it was. I was shunned.

"Honestly Rose? There's nothing I wouldn't do for you," he said and turned to walk away. I held on to his hand and yanked him back slightly. He halted in his stride and turned to look at me.

"Adrian… you really mean that?" He nodded.

"Anything," he reassured me and squeezed my hand. I pursed my lips and gazed past him in a thoughtful daze.

"You still going…to the ball?" I asked hesitantly. His eyes brightened.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." He stated confidently. I sighed _now for the next question. _I silently thought. _Was he still taking me? Did I ruin my chances for a date to the graduation party?_ I noticed his gaze regarded me expectantly.

"Could I still—maybe—take you to the ball?" A sad smile played on his lips.

"Of course Rose, It'll make me the happiest man to have you along side me, if it's what you want, besides, if I remember correctly? It was_ I_ who invited _you_ to this ball. So there's no way you're getting out of it." I pulled him closer and hugged him kissing him on the cheek.

"Thank you Adrian, I don't know what I did to deserve your friendship." I whispered in his ears. He pulled back and kissed my forehead. He left it lingering there for a second and put his forehead to mine.

"You were just being—you, that's all it takes, my little dhampir." He brushed his finger on my nose in a feather-like motion and left me staring after him.

I sighed. I never asked for my life to be so complicated, and I wasn't too sure if I believed that everything happens for a reason, but if the impossible was possible? Then Adrian was the converter. He was my golden ticket to solving this puzzle I landed myself in to.

Although there were still pieces missing, at least I had something. If it's true what they say, that you'd never know heaven, if you didn't live through hell, then I was hoping this hell wouldn't last for too long, not to mention if heaven was even worth the wait.

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_**A/N: **Hope you liked, I'll have more soon when you kind people review lol...My plot is still under maintenance lol but stay in tuned for the masquerade ball and finding this crazy Robert Duro. A little hint, Dimitri makes an appearance, but I'll leave it up to your imagination to where he would! lmao...REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! that's going to be my new mantra lol..._


	8. Chapter Seven and Eight

_**A/N: **__Hey guys! Loving the reviews/alerts and favorites. I hope you're enjoying this story, if you're not then that's cool too. Oh and please don't take ANY of this content seriously; because events like these obviously won't happen in the real book, it's just what happens in mine…Okay? Thanks to all those who review. I appreciate it and thanks to the many reviewers who remind me to keep writing and to update it I love your guy's opinions. BTW this is two chapters squeezed into one, kind of like a two for one deal as Adrian would say. It's the longest chapter I've written like EVER. Got popcorn? And a comfortable seat because this reading session might take a while. And it includes a LOT of your favorite characters, even the ones you love to hate (I just thought it might be fun to squeeze in heaps of characters) Okay enough Jibber-jabber. Have fun and hope its worthy of your time._

_P.S. My internet was cut for the past two months but now its not lol and if you spot any mistakes or blatant errors then don't hesitate to point them out, I haven't gone over this chapter in a while. Please forgive me._

**Disclaimer: **I'm NOT Richelle Mead nor are these copies from the real book Spirit Bound. I do NOT own VA series or any of its characters. No copyright Infringement Intended. Just for fanfic purposes only.

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**Chapter Seven**

**I**T HAS BEEN THREE DAYS SINCE the appearance of Dimitri, but it seemed like a year ago. Lissa and I were in the library hanging out as curfew was nearing. We were talking about how fast the year had gone by and how tomorrow was the big graduation party. Okay, scratch that, _I _was doing all the talking. Lissa on the other hand seemed distracted.

"What's up Liss? You've been down in the dumps for days," I accused and made my way toward the window seat where she was sitting. Her head was leaning awkwardly on the glass while her eyes stared out into nothingness. Her knees were curled up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. This attitude was _so_ not like her, especially when knowing there was a dress up party in less than twenty four hours to prepare for; which was more in her line of territory than mine, so it brings me back to why she was acting like this. I nudged her with my elbow playfully.

"You got the fire-boy bug?" I teased in a low eccentric voice, but she didn't find it as funny as I thought it was_._ She gave me a tight smile that had as much enthusiasm as a dead pun was allowed and then shook her head. Her eyes never left the window.

"Hey, you okay?" I frowned as I regarded her curiously. She sighed leaving a white foam mark on the window glass then nodded.

"Just thinking…" Her voice trailed off, her eyes gazing out the window wistfully.

"About…?" I prompted. Her eye flitted toward me with a sad smile. She shrugged.

"Stupid stuff," she exhaled in one big sigh.

"Stuff like…?" I asked.

She shrugged again as dismissively as she could and went back to staring out the window. See this was the distant Lissa I was so not used to. The Lissa I knew would give me debriefing of the problem from head to toe. She had been like this for the last couple of days since I told her about the '_breaking-Victor-out-of-jail-alone _'thing.

She insisted that I not worry about her, and that she was okay, but every time she did, it only made me push further, and worry about her more. This wouldn't have happened if I just kept my trap shut about it, I was more worried about her state of mind, and how traumatized she would be if she saw Victor again, so I made it easier for her and told her she couldn't come with me. A promise I broke in order to keep her safe. I know, I know I shouldn't've promised her empty hope by telling her she could come in the first place, but let's be reasonable here.

I was the protector, and she needed to be in safe keeping. Taking her on a mission to find Victor and putting her in the line of danger wasn't quite what I had in mind for protecting her. I felt like I was doing the right thing, so why couldn't she see that? I waited silently giving her the opportunity to talk when she was ready.

I had a fair idea—judging by the emotions she was sending off through the bond: frustration, despair and something else I couldn't quite place, maybe hatred?

"You. Me …" She stammered and shrugged her shoulders again.

Seriously, at this pace? I was afraid that our conversation wasn't going to get past the two to three word stages. This would have to be a new record for the both of us. Next thing you know, we'll be doing sign language. I opted for an opening and extended my questionnaire skills.

"You wanna talk about it?" I asked finally.

She averted her eyes back to the window and stayed silent for quite some time.

_God! _A hard slap in the face with a fish would probably feel better than having to sit in silence with the cold shoulder, need I say that apparently staring out the window was better company for her, and, the phrase 'beautiful scenery' couldn't even begin to cover the mass of words which I had for what she was looking out over, considering how the academy's landscaping contained never-ending shrubs, mountains and more buildings.

I was itching to scream, or stamp my feet or something to end this silence. _She's just hurting._ I reminded myself.

"I-I know how…selfish I've been lately. You're always putting me first and I love you for that, but I was thinking. I mean…someday or sooner or later, you won't need me at all, and you might leave me—for good. I guess I'm afraid you won't need me—_ever_." Okay, that wasn't what I expected her to say.

She paused and looked at me with that god-forsaken guilt that I often had painted on my _own _face. Her eyes only said she was hurt, betrayed but her smile told me that she loved me nonetheless. She wiped her eyes as if she had been crying but I think she just did it out habit when she knew she was on the verge of crying. She added.

"—I know you don't want to take me because you're sparing my feelings, but I'm sick of being the one who's vulnerable. I want to be able to help you out for a change, you need me whether you like it or not, I'm just as much as your savior as you are mine, now it's my turn to return the favor. Please don't let me sit this one out! You promised me, and I would never forgive myself if something happened to you and I wasn't there to save you, so you can't leave me, you just can't!"

Her voice cracked at that last statement. She was right about one thing. I _had_ promised her that I would take her on my next suicide mission. I never thought she felt so strongly about the fact that I didn't want to take her on my next quest to finding Victor. I had spared her feelings because I didn't want to traumatize her anymore than she had been over that bastard of an uncle of hers. I should've known she'd fight me on this and beg for me to let her go with me.

"Lissa…" I started to say but she cut me off.

"No, I hate it when you don't need me—because if you don't need me now, then who's to say you'll _ever_ need me? Then you'll see no _reason_ to come back. And maybe, maybe this time, I won't be so lucky to see you again. You may never come back!" By this time she was near hysterical.

A few glares and quiet shushing from bystanders in the library sounded from a few feet away from us. I expressed my thoughts by a few colorful words that would probably get me detention, just to shut them up and mind their own business. Seriously, why anyone keeps to the rule of "quiet library talk" is beyond me.

Our voices quieted down to mere whispering. I pondered over her words. Her statement seemed like there was a double meaning to it than she intended it to have. I was shocked. I wanted to reassure her that I would never leave her, but something stopped me from voicing it out aloud. Of course she wasn't talking about me leaving her temporarily, she meant for good as in forever; as in death. Like death do us part, and an eerie silence passed through us.

"Don't say that Liss, you'll only freak yourself out." I said finally and laced my arm through hers; she rested her head on my shoulder and sighed.

"Promise me you won't? I couldn't stand it if I didn't have you to turn to." She whispered. I nodded.

"I swear I won't leave you like that…unless your safety contradicts my promises, then…" I pursed my lips.

"Then what?" She sat up looking me square in the face. I crooked a smile.

"Then we're shit out of luck!"

She rolled her eyes and hit me in the arm. We laughed it off, but she wasn't the only one thinking about the worst case scenario. What if I_ did_ die? Where would I go if I did leave this world? Would my life flash before my eyes in an entirety of five to ten seconds? Would I ever get to save Dimitri's soul from the darkness of a Strigoi nature? And what about Lissa? I couldn't leave her to fight off the darkness from using Spirit by herself; she'd just go back to cutting and I won't be there to save her.

I refused to leave this world and I refused to let Lissa and I meet the same fate as Vladimir and shadow-kissed Anna. I needed Lissa as much as she needed me. We were closer than sisters, we were spirit bounded too. Could I leave this world knowing I didn't succeed in any of my endeavors I set out to overcome? I shook the thought off and at the same time. We both sighed as if our thoughts were muddled together.

"No I'm serious though. If that were the case? Don't ever think you could've done something different if I were to die suddenly. Promise me that you won't mourn my death, but instead celebrate your life and keep living. I couldn't stand the fact that you put your life on hold on my expenses. Okay Liss?" She hesitated then nodded.

"Deal! But only if you do the same if the tables were turned." Now there was something I hadn't expected her to say. I considered it while pursing my lips.

"Deal!" We shook on it.

"Now stop thinking like that." The silence passed—and through the bond—I felt her mood suddenly lighten as soon as she spoke.

"So…does that mean I'm coming with?" Lissa batted her eyelashes and put her face as close as she can get it. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine!" She squealed and hugged me. "But that doesn't mean I'm okay with it…" I warned and she saluted me with an A-okay gesture.

"That wasn't all I was thinking about," she said as she straightened up. She crossed her legs under her—a habit—I noticed when she had something juicy to tell me. I raised my eyebrow in an attempt to try do the one eyebrow thing, but I must've looked like I was constipated or something. Giving up on the silent gesture, I said, "Oh…?"

That was pretty much all I can muster for now. Her nod was more eager and light seemed to flicker in her eyes like one would do when she was up to something—almost like she was about to spill something—that would probably stain your mother-in-laws Persian rug. Now these moments made me proud to be her bestest friend, especially now that her tone changed from salty tears to sultry gossip. I was all eyes and ears and gestured for her to carry on.

"Okay, I've got this theory right? Well more like a fact. And it goes like this. I was thinking about Unk—I mean Victor. You said this Abe guy said Victor was transferred to another prison…" I nodded noting how she used quotation marks with her fingers when she said this 'Abe guy' like he was a figment of my imagination, like I made him up.

Yeah, like hell I had some weird creativity streak to have made a guy like him up. I did, however, leave some small details behind about the fact that he and I shared the same DNA; which would probably have been the story of the year, but that kind of thing just didn't roll off the tongue so easy.

She carried on her commentary. "—and that no-one knows what prison he was transferred to…" I was slightly wary of where she was taking this. I pursed my lips and nodded in encouragement.

"Well, in that case, wouldn't the transfer have to be approved from a hierarchy of some sort, say for instance—_Queen Tatiana_?" My eyes brightened with astonishment.

Lissa had a point a fucking brilliant point at that. In Moroi society every finalization had to be run pass the top hierarchy, no matter how big or small the situation was at hand. The royal Queen had the last say on decision making especially stuff that involved Victor Dashkov's imprisonment. He _was_ after all the brilliant Royal—once considered King—_maniac_, that was now locked up serving life; which was more of an offense to the Royal Court, than to anyone. So if made public? It would look bad and reflect on the Moroi society and Queen Tatiana would never stand for that, no. She was the _'think-about-herself'_ type. If something threatened her reputation, she took care of things to her advantage.

That meant of course she knew the whereabouts of Victor Dashkov. And of course Lissa would know this fact because she's become the queen's pet for the last couple of months since Christian was out of the picture.

Yes! Now this is why Lissa was who she's been for the last century since I've known her. She was all along the person who thinks with her brains. Me? I was more the think with fist type, ask questions later, preferably when I'm kicking the shit out of someone, but hey! That's what makes us all so different, we act in ways that separates us as individuals. I was so proud I just threw my arms around my best friend and pulled her into a tight bear-hug.

"You're a genius you-know that?" I said and we both giggled in excitement. This was a new lead to my case, and I was definitely getting somewhere. But then I remembered that I was the last person Queen Bitch would tell anything to, especially something as secretive as Victor's incarceration.

Ugh! I was more like the pet peeve of Tatiana's existence. Yeah, it would help my case immensely getting on the good side of Tatiana, but kissing the bitch's royal ass wasn't even in my line of duty for getting what I wanted, and I was a girl who thrived on getting what I wanted. I just had to figure out how I could get close enough to her in a discreet manner.

"My little Dhampir…? You didn't tell me you wanted to introduce a third party into the relationship, but hey? If it's what spices up the bedroom, then I'm not complaining." Great! Just the man I wanted to see. Well until I realized what he was implying, I scowled and let go of Lissa. Adrian's smile never wavered as he came to view.

" So…to what do I owe this splendid sight of pleasure. Is this a two for one deal?" Adrian asked, leaning on the nearest bookcase. He winked and his charming smile brightened wider.

"You wish playboy!" Both Lissa and I said in disgust. I snatched a throw cushion up and launched it toward his head. It missed and hit the casing with a thump and plopped to the floor. He chuckled and held his hands up in a calming gesture.

"Jeez, I'm kidding. God! Woman, you just turned that pillow into a deadly weapon. Besides…I only wanted to do one at a time anyway." I held a hardcover book up this time and glared at him.

"You better pick your words wisely Ivashkov or you may never get to use that thing below your waste at all. This time I won't miss. Got it?" He gulped and nodded while covering his manhood.

"I'm zipping it as we speak." He made a zipping noise and gestured a motion at his lips like he was sealing it shut but his eyes were stained on his front package. I shook my head with a smile still tugging at my lips. Lissa seemed amused at the whole thing. I flushed a little when she slightly nudged me in the hip.

_Ooh! You two are _so_ doing it!_ Lissa silently sent through the bond. She cleared her throat and looked from me to Adrian.

"So we'll talk later?" Lissa chided with pure innocence, snatching her book out of my hands, but her eyebrows seem to be wagging up and down like she was the devils advocate. She had her back to Adrian and whispered.

"FYI, your aura gave it away." Lissa answered my unspoken question. _And might I add,_ _I knew it! You two are always flirting with each other ._She finished silently.

It was my turn to furrow my eyebrows to tell her to stop embarrassing me, but then felt stupid because she couldn't read my thoughts like I could with hers. Damn stupid one way bond! I wanted to tell her that she had it all wrong and not to go, but then I felt silly for even thinking it. We weren't even a thing, Adrian and I, but it seemed like every-time I saw him. We shared something, and it was beyond friendship. Maybe I did have feelings for him after all? But that didn't mean I should be alone with him. There was no guaranteeing that he kept his pants on, or mine.

_What the hell was I saying? _We were barely passed second base, some pathetic relationship. God We weren't even officially dating or officially not dating either, not that I knew what any of that meant. The sex thing was still a subject that we hadn't covered yet. Maybe that's what made me so nervous to be around him. Certainly not like I was a virgin or anything, but then again I may as well be. I've only done it once and doing it again with someone other than Dimitri? Well it made me feel like a virgin all over again and better yet? I felt like a total loser for thinking it. _Get a grip on yourself Rose! _I cursed myself silently as my thoughts died out and I focused on Lissa.

"Yeah we should go; I should walk you back to your dorm." Lissa stopped me.

"No! You stay; I'm meeting with Christian anyway." Lissa pegged a level stare on me.

"Fine." I said while Lissa's smile never wavered.

"So, I'll see'ya guys in the morning?" She said lightly as she passed Adrian. Behind him Lissa silently said. _I want details! And I mean the juicy stuff._ She waved with a big smile and disappeared out the door.

"Should I even ask what that was all about?" Adrian seemed amused.

"Just girl talk, nothing you would be interested in," I said and he shrugged it off and sat down next to me.

"So you excited about going to the Royal court tomorrow?"

"Actually I'm stoked, and you wouldn't believe how eager I am to be going to the Royal court."

"You're right. I don't believe you, considering how you hate the royal court and all that prospers from it." I laughed because he had a point. I hated everything that had to do with the royal court, but now I have reason to be there other than dress up like a century old mannequin wearing a mask. I shrugged.

"Well Lissa will reside there permanently so I guess I'll have to get used to it sooner or later, and what better way to start now? And I wouldn't pass up a good party."

"You're serious? You hate that Royal bash crap. Hell, you make me loathe it just by being associated with the damn thing, so I don't believe you." I scowled.

"Fine. You got me. But only because…well, that was before I had a new lead on my case, so yes I'm becoming a fan of this royalty façade, and since the dogs are out of its cage. I thought why not throw 'em a bone? And that's where you come in the picture."

"Okay you've lost me," Adrian admitted. And immediately my smile shot up. My eyes locked contact with his long enough to share a secret message. I relayed to him what Lissa had told me about her theory—well fact—on how to find out where Victor was imprisoned and he listened with interest. As soon as I was finished, silence fell between him and I and I started to bite my lips down in anticipation.

"So you want me to pout my lips and give my aunt my best puppy dog eyes?" I tried to picture Adrian doing that but I couldn't. He cocked and eyebrow.

"_What_?" I asked innocently. He held his hand on his heart in mock surprise and faked gasped. "You're using me to get to my aunt? I-I feel so _used_." His melodrama didn't last long so I hit him on the chest. He did seem amused at the idea. I pegged him with a level stare.

"Fine, yes I'm using you, but only because you love me long time and said you'll do anything and…" My shoulders sagged in defeat. "Okay, forget I even mentioned it." I gave up. I wasn't going to use him anymore than I had been. I gathered all my stuff and walked out of there, and headed back to my dorm. "Hey, wait up!" He rushed behind me and followed me out. As we got into my room he paused at the door and grabbed my arm to turn me around.

"I was kidding, you know that right? Of course I'll do it. Earlier, when I said I will do anything, I meant it." I considered it for a moment and raised my eyebrows.

"By the look on your face, I feel there's a small price to pay." His eyes squinted and tilted his head. It wasn't a no or a yes, but somehow I just knew I was right. I rolled my eyes.

"Name it," I stated.

"I want you to look me straight in my eyes and tell me that you don't feel anything for me. Tell me I'm not the only one feeling it. Tell me something, anything and then I'll leave it alone. I won't bring it up—ever." I pursed my lips harder.

"You know what, don't answer that." I crooked a smile.

"I have a better idea." I said and before he could protest. I startled him by cradling his neck and brushed my lips on his. I kissed him with a gentle soft kiss, but then another came after that and next thing I knew. I was lost in his embrace again, but this time. I meant it. This time I felt it. This time I wanted it.

I pulled him closer toward my bed as I kissed deeper, probing his tongue with mine as they danced gracefully together. He tasted of mint, pine and his herbal smokes. I felt his hands slide down my side and rest on the curve of my hips. He lifted me and carted me to the bed as I wrapped my legs around him. He gently laid me down and hovered over me. His tongue teased my lips so I captured it with my mouth to pull him closer. He groaned in approval and I admit I loved the sound of it. I went for his shirt and fumbled at his buttons. Adrian pulled back looking confused as ever with a light blush to his face. I was slightly angry at the loss of contact from my mouth. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What's wrong?"

"You sure about this? You want this?" I licked my lips as I noticed how swollen his lips seemed from kissing him. I nodded.

"You're not just doing this to shut me up?" he added. I smiled my best man-eating smile.

"I've wanted this for a while Adrian. And about how I feel? I'm about to be cold if you don't get over here," I said confidently and pulled him closer by the collar.

"You absolutely, positively sure?" I grunted.

"I want this, and you're right. I'm sick of going against what I feel, and right now? I can say that you're not the only one who feels it. So shut up and kiss me goddamn it!" Adrian's eyes lit up and crashed his lips on mine with eagerness.

"My little Dhampir?" _Kiss._ "—you may have just said,"_ Kiss._ "—the best thing I've ever heard in my life."

I giggled against his lips and wrapped my legs around his waist tighter to pull him back down on my bed. His shirt disappeared revealing broad shoulders, lean muscles that I hadn't realized Adrian having, I suppose I shouldn't have looked so surprised at what an amazing body he had, and my hands were at the mercy of those god forsaken Pecs that he was sporting. He did away with my tank-top revealing my purple laced bra. And by the look on his face he didn't have to say I was beautiful, his eyes said it all. He traced a finger over my collar-bone and then placed a kiss there as if he were worshiping my body. He started trailing slow kisses up and down the length of my neckline, suckling at my vein as his hands found their way to my chest. His thumbs made smoothing motions under the cup of my bras and instantly my body arched toward his, groaning in approval. He done away with my bra and sent a shivering pleasure up my spine as he captured my breast. I felt his fangs skim my neckline, teasing, tantalizing my vein and I surged my neck toward him. My body was urging for that bite, and I almost shook in anticipation. I nearly lost myself just by the thought of it and an instant chill crawled up my spine at the feeling, and I realized it wasn't a good one.

I was mad at myself because I wanted him to bite me. I wanted Adrian to take my vein while we were about to have sex because I wanted to feel that rush of toxic endorphins that Moroi give, but the vague memory hit too close to home and a sense of De ja vu tugged at my brain. I froze. All of a sudden I was at Galina's estate back in Russia with Dimitri. I was drugged out on endorphins dressed in one of his expensive flimsy dresses and I was lying on the bed dazed and out of it, while Dimitri drank from me. Releasing endorphins better than sex allowed and at that moment I felt dirty, weak. I was treated like a blood whore though we never had sex but he claimed he was just having fun. I was at his mercy for those frightening weeks held captive by the man I loved. Who had treated me no more than just a blood slave. No more than a useless blood whore and my heart started racing and I felt suffocated, I couldn't breathe. I was no longer the girl he loved, but the girl who he wanted to make a blood whore. I felt something wet drip in my ear as the memory vanished and I was here in my dorm room with Adrian on top of me—half naked—and I realized I was crying.

"Wait, stop!" I intended to shout it but it barely escaped any more than a panicked whisper. He continued teasing the vein and my mind and body was screaming for air. "Get off me!" I shouted and pushed against his body. Adrian snapped his head up and stopped instantly.

"Rose..? What's the matter? Did I hurt you…?" His words came out in a frantic panic and I just shook my head. He froze just as he saw tears running down my cheeks. He got off me and sat up and ran his hand through his hair. He started pulling up his pants and I wanted to scream. God, this was not how I pictured my first night with Adrian. Definitely could lose the damn water works but they just wouldn't stop. I shook my head and sat up covering my chest with my arms.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak out, but it's just…I'm sorry." He cupped my face with his palms and wiped my tears with the pad of his thumb.

"Oh God Adrian, I'm such a mess!" I choked out and let my tears fall freely. I felt something light wrap around my body and he was fumbling with the buttons. I put my face in my hands to hide my embarrassment.

"You wanna talk about it?" I shook my head and he just pulled me into a tight embrace. "That's okay. It's my fault. I shouldn't've pushed you into it. I…" I sniffed lightly and shook my head.

"No. It's definitely not you. It's me."

"Don't say that. I know I've—" I couldn't take it anymore. He was blaming himself for something he didn't know was a problem. So instead I cut him off.

"Dimitri made me his blood whore!" I blurted and his mouth snapped shut and his eyes darted toward me in bewilderment.

"He what?" He whispered as if he'd been slapped in the face. He clenched his jaw so hard; his muscles were popping out. He seemed to be muttering something incoherent. I could tell he was mad now but he did a good job at taming it. My tears only increased its volume and soon my cheeks would be soaked with the salty stuff. It felt good to tell someone, but I didn't know it would come down to this. It was more over saving me from my own embarrassment than to have him see me as a girl who cries during sex, and not knowing why. I hated him knowing that I had been weak, that I was vulnerable and that I was robbed of my own dignity. That was one of my greatest fears 'showing my weaknesses' and Dimitri made it impossible to hide them. Now I was doing the same with Adrian. I nodded my head slowly avoiding eye contact now. "When?" He finally asked. Now for the hard part.

"You remember the time you dream-walked in on me when I wouldn't say where I was?"

He nodded. "Yeah, you said you were _happy_ and that everything was _fine_!" I knew it wasn't meant to sound harsh but he was blowing off steam. Meant for Dimitri I presume. Of course I had said I was fine. I was so out of it I could've said the birds were dancing in frilly frocks and he'd believe me. I carried on.

"—to tell you the truth? I was so drugged out on endorphins from his bite, that I didn't even know _where_ I was let alone how I was. And when you asked about those bruises I had on my neck. I froze. I was so ashamed of what I had become. God! I forgot they were even there. Dimitri had been feeding from me for days and I had become so weak I allowed myself to be a victim; I was almost at the point to where I was craving for his bites. Seeing you again, made the reality of it come into perspective. So I did the obvious and tried to get away. I thought maybe if you didn't see me like that, then maybe I could pretend that it wasn't happening. I would've been embarrassed if anyone found out, they'd only think less than they already thought of me, and with you? I couldn't stand it if you thought I was weak. Dimitri—I thought—was still the man I loved…But…He held me in this room and—and—he kept me…a-and made me…" My voice hiccupped and before I let the 'blood whore' statement out, I felt his lips on my forehead and the blanket was wrapped around my back as he cradled me in his arms.

"I want to kill him right now!" He hissed under his breath. I shook my head squeezing my eyes shut, relishing in his warmth.

"Don't say that. It's not his fault. He didn't mean to."

"Wait, you're defending him?" I let more tears fall now and he shook his head.

"Sorry. You want to be alone?" I hugged him tighter.

"No. Please stay. I can't stand to be alone right now. I need this." He nodded and held me in his arms for what felt like forever. He whispered nonsense in my ear that was both soothing and reassuring. God, here I was looking like a typical damsel in distress and Adrian yet again was there to sooth me. How was I ever going to pay him back for this? He lay me down and tugged me in to his sides. He smoothed my hair out and we lay next to each other in silence. I must've fallen asleep in less than five minutes or so because I no longer heard his lulling voice. And the darkness had taken over me.

_The soft sound of waves clouded my ears and seagulls chirped above me as their wings flapped up and down circling the perimeter. The sun was hot and warm as it bathed over my skin. Blue sky, white sand, clashing waves, but why was I in an oversized shirt? _

"_You look better in that shirt than I do." Adrian drawled. I glanced behind me and Adrian appeared; stunningly wearing a Hawaiian green and yellow shirt with short khakis and thongs. _

"_Adrian, you're not supposed to be in the sun."_

"_Relax, I'm not going to get sunstroke anytime soon, it's just an illusion."_

"_Are you in one of my dreams again?" _

"_Nope. You're in one of my dreams" he corrected. _

"_Okay, So why the beach? You trying to get your daily vitamin D intake?"_

"_Something like that, But I like to come here to think, clear my head" he chuckled humorlessly." But every time I do? My head just ends up wandering. I seek your company and then I'm back where I started."_

"_Adrian, I'm sorry, about everything. It's not fair on you. I know you wanted more, but I'm broken beyond repair. I just…I don't know where my heart is anymore." I said sadly._

"_That's not your fault and I have a vague idea of where it might be. Yeah, I'm always going to be the guy who tries to amend something that is broken beyond repairs, and I can't be the guy to make it all better. What makes me angry the most? Is that not only am I not that guy but I haven't been that guy since the moment I laid eyes on you. Yeah, I may steal your company, or your conversations. But I never once got a glimpse of your heart, until I saw you looking at him." He gritted his teeth and held his hands up to stop me from protesting._

"—_and since I'd rather have your company and conversations than nothing at all. Then I'll be much happier to see your heart mended by the man you love than have you say you're broken beyond repair. If it means breaking Victor out of jail, telling my aunt to stick it or whatever, then I'll be glad to have said I helped you. I'll never forgive him for what he done to you, but… if all goes well with you and Belikov. At least I can proudly say I helped. And that would be enough. _

"_I don't know what to say." He took my hand in his and touched his lips to my knuckles. _

"_Don't say anything," he whispered and I felt something cold in my hand. He winked and disappeared._

The dream vanished and my eyes fluttered open. I felt beside me and it was empty and then something rolled out of my hand. It was the silver ring I lost, the same ring Oksana had given me.

**Chapter Eight**

**T**ODAY WAS THE MASQUERADE party; complimentary treat from thee Queen Tatiana. We were in the middle of packing our bags because in less than an hour we were scheduled for take off as Tatiana kindly arranged enough jets to cart 150 students by air. Seniors as well as their soon-to-be-guardians were celebrating early graduation at the Royal Court tonight and it was one step closer to my mission to being accomplished.

Lissa and I were in her dorm room sitting on our suitcases trying to zip them up, well technically her suitcases, but that's an obvious statement. Lissa's over obsessive determination of taking her whole entire existence meant that if you were to fight her on this. Someone's eye will be meeting the heel of her shoe. I scowled.

"Lissa! It won't close, you have to lose something." I complained for the millionth time.

"No way. When there's a will there's a way." She growled. We both jumped on the overstuffed suit case while she struggled with the zip. The zipper broke off just as it closed up. Lissa grunted but I was just happy to be done with the stupid thing. Adrian and Christian barged in with what looked like presents. Both Lissa and I jumped up to find our feet, with gleaming eyes focusing on the pretty boxes with ribbons.

"Ladies, feast your eyes on these baby's." He bowed his head and took my hand in his and kissed it. The tingle still felt fresh over my hand a few seconds later and he nodded toward me handing over the box. He said. "Mademoiselle, delivery for Miss Hathaway?"

I could feel Christian's eyes roll from the back of my head. I whipped my head back to the big black box that occupied my train of thoughts. I set it on the bed and waited for Lissa.

"Don't stall for too long, as we are leaving in twenty minutes, so make it snappy!" Adrian's voice reverberated through the room as they made their way to the door. The boys left without another word and Lissa and I both eyed the door as it slowly shut behind them.

"You first!" Lissa said and I could hear her squeal in every word. I shook my head.

"No way, you go first!" I protested and she chuckled. _How about we open at the same time?_ She said through the bond and I nodded. She counted. _One. Two. Three. _We both flipped the lids off the box. She screamed as she felt the garment that lay atop a white sheet of soft cotton. Her gown was a light yellow satin organza with a yellow and black masque propped on top loosely. The clash of color made me think of her and Christian, they were total opposites but the love was in the air I assure you. I squeezed her hand in approval as she held the dress up to her. It was a backless dress that dipped low as if it would barely cover the back of her ass. The glow of white gold shimmered at the front edge of the halter part where there was a V slit in the middle. It would obviously show a lot of sternum and a lot of cleavage. It was a killer dress and with Lissa's height and body type. She'd definitely do it justice. I heard her gasp in the mirror as she swayed the bottom from side to side as if she could picture herself dancing in it.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" I nodded as I watched her envious eyes stain the mirror as they ran up and down the garment.

"Christian is _so _getting some tonight!" I made a gagging noise and stuck my finger in my throat as a mock gesture.

"Sorry…too much information?"

"Too much!" Well more an understatement than anything. Too much was getting pulled into her mind right down to the dirty deed. I eyed mine. The box was bathed in a black satin cloth. I unraveled it. Revealed underneath was a dark scarlet red colored dress; almost black-rose, with a gothic undertone to it. The thick velvet texture felt inviting under my touch. The strapless corset was something out of a fairy tale with black pearls that rimmed the bustier area and ribbons that criss-crossed at the back and finished around the small of its back. The rest of the skirt flowed freely like a dress dated back to the late fifteenth early sixteenth century; a modern day medieval time warp mixed with a western gothic feel. It was gorgeous. I fumbled with the incredible blood red brooch that centered the waist like a belt buckle. It was some sort of medallion or crest. A rose? I wasn't sure. I held it up in front of me and noticed a split riding up on the left side of the dress. It was sexy and I imagined I'd feel sexy in it. The matching color masque sat at the bottom of the box with a cat like design adorned with feathers, jewels and glitter. I imagined what Dimitri would say if he were here. Probably something along the lines of _'you look beautiful, Roza. Too bad it'll only be seen in the morgue'._ A frigid wave crawled up my side and I shuddered. We stuffed the dresses back in their packages just as a knock sounded at the door.

"Time's up ladies, five minutes and we're due for take off." Adrian said from the door way. Him, Christian and Eddie retrieved our luggage and carried them for us. I was impressed, but I was quite capable of carrying my own. Adrian on the other hand insisted he carry my things so I let him.

"Sir yessir," I said with a mock salute and we made our way to the strip.

"Hey slacker," Eddie said a few moments later as the strip came into view. I chuckled. "Hey, not my fault you guys are suckers for punishment. Suck it up and use those muscles."

"Bet you're having fun with this," he chuckled when I nodded.

"You know it, so pick it up soldiers. Left right left right." The boys grunted. They did a lot of swapping between the three, but Christian and Adrian seemed to be struggling big time. Eddie took it like a man and carried them with ease. After all he was a Dhampir so his body type was made for these types of things, and his guardian training worked to his advantage. I could see he was enjoying this too. Christian on the other hand was another story.

"Seriously, why do chicks insist on taking their whole wardrobes? Is one bag not enough for the weekend? _No_ they have to take a million and then some!"

Christian complaining he had to carry more than the others. Not surprised, since Lissa had more than five luggage bags plus a carry on. She had enough clothes to cater for me, her _and_ the rest of the senior girls. I only had two plus my carry on. My duffel bag had most of my essentials then there were the boxes for our gowns. I did feel sorry for him, but not so much to help him out. Lissa and I seemed to be enjoying this moment just as much as Eddie was.

We took our seats inside the jet after roll call and made our way toward the royal court. I sat at the back next to Adrian. Lissa and Christian sat in front of us while Eddie took a seat on the other side and that's when I noticed someone. _Abraham Mazur. _Yes, you guessed it; my rogue mobster dad was on the same flight with my _mom?_ Okay, I was either hallucinating or stuck in limbo because my mom and dad were together, in the same room—jet—as I was and off to the royal court. I watched him stand and make his way toward me.

"Great! This shall be fun" I muttered to myself.

I shuffled in my seat and pretended to read the magazine I snatched off Adrian. Abraham cleared his throat next to Adrian. We both looked up into his eyes. His flashy style screamed Moroi all over, but his gold hoop earring that was seized in his left ear—only reminded me how he was this rogue mobster that looked like he stepped straight out of Jack Sparrows movies. I stared out the window.

"May I exchange seats with you son?"

His voice boomed from his mouth and reverberated through the aisle. Adrian sat there baffled to say anything and swung his head at me seeking for my approval. Was it hot in here? I felt like a fever was coming along. I checked the air conditioning. No, all good in that compartment. Maybe it was the presence of my dark looming dad scrutinizing my not-so-much-of-a-boyfriend Adrian.

"I think I've got this covered, you may leave!" Adrian said in what could be passed as rude, but his tone gave off some politeness. I was sure I heard his voice shake.

Abraham was hiding back a scowl but he smiled instead. He nodded his head in my direction.

"Nice to see you're safe and sound Rose, I see you haven't given up on graduating?" This alarmed all my friends and they whipped their heads in my direction as they noticed he knew my name. I pursed my lips as I heard Lissa's voice through the bond. _You know this man? _I gave a subtle nod and it took a second for her to realize who he was as she studied his description. Her mouth was agape _Abe Mazur? _I nodded again.

I focused back on Abraham and shrugged my shoulders. "Actually, that was still on the cards. You know me? Always taking a risk to take care of business, speaking of, I was thinking of taking over the family business. You know. A _freelancer_ if you will." From the plaid expression on his face I could tell he was agitated but his kept his self control. Pity I never inherited that from him.

"That would be difficult for someone who's about to become a guardian. Need I remind you of a promise you made with your mother… you have people at the Academy that would…miss you, friends,_ family."_ He said that last word with sincerity. "Besides, a freelancer is not all that its worked up to be, you're often alone." _Right, ain't that the truth?_

"Is that how you felt when_ you_ left? You thought that sacrificing your family would make it all better, I guess being alone was something in your job description, you must be proud."

_Rose, what the hell are you talking about?_ I smiled.

"Rose," he warned. Seriously, he gives me a lecture on how important family and friends are? When he was quick to give it up for whatever secret society he's involved with. _Hypocrite!_

"I'm sorry, did you need anything else?"

"Well, aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?"

"Right! How inconsiderate of me. Hey guys, meet _Abraham Mazur_; my long lost "father" if you believe in that DNA testing." Adrian at the mention of 'my father' shifted out of the seat to stand up as if a bomb had gone off from under him.

"Sir," he said and held out a hand. "Adrian Ivashkov," he introduced himself and I rolled my eyes.

"As in Queen Tatiana…Ivashkov?" He nodded. "Great nephew, sir."

"Nice to meet you, son."

I pointed out Lissa, Christian and Eddie with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. Their eyes showed so much astonishment that I thought maybe their eyes might fall out. An awkward silence passed and I resisted the childish urge to say '_Awkward!'_ Good old Christian broke the ice.

"So…Rose has a father…" I rolled my eyes.

"_Christian. _Do I have to remind you about the birds and the bees again?" Abraham seemed amused.

"I take it Rose doesn't talk as much? That's okay; I can guess where that came from."

"Damn, if you're anything like Rose? Then I'd think twice on getting on your bad side, sir."

"You're already heading that way Ozera." I warned.

Abraham shook his head. "Don't worry son you're safe with me." _For now_ I silently finished for him and then he added. "—so Rose, may I sit with you?"

I shrugged. "Free country." He sat down and the rest of my friends tried to avoid eye contact with my father and make small talk with each other like they weren't eavesdropping. Yeah right! I wasn't in any kind mood for having good social skills either.

"What are you doing here? Because I doubt it that we need chaperones at the Royal Court." I muttered to him. He shrugged.

"I came to see you graduate. I'm stationed here with a few of my guardians for the next couple of weeks. Your mother asked if I could come—she insisted—and that it would piss the hell out of Queen Tatiana too." I commended him on that note. I liked the idea of pissing Queen Bitch off.

"What's in it for you?"

"A date."

"Yeah but the Royal Court? What's so important you had to drop your life to go see some party?" I paused as I realized what he said. "Wait what? A _date_ with my mom? God that's _so _disgusting!"

"Why is that so disgusting?"

"You and my mom being together and all…it's just _weird_."

"You're being very immature Rose, need I remind _you_ of the birds and the bees"

"Ugh! Do not remind me of how I was made, and stop using my lines on me and to tell you the truth? This just all seems too real for me right now. Ugh! I need a drink, will you excuse me?" I didn't return to my seat. Instead I managed to steal one of the front ones and avoided Abe and my friends for the rest of the flight.

We arrived at the Royal Court hours before sun down. Which really was technically before sun up in the vampire world, but the windows and doors were sealed to keep sunlight out. We each got shown to our own head quarters to the west wing of the Royal Court and matrons informed us what time the party was due to start. I scowled when they said four hours. I was pissed that we didn't have enough time to rest, because I would kill for a proper sleep, but I guess it was Tatiana's way of getting things over and done with. The girls were grouped together as we were escorted toward the back section of the building. A familiar ground I remembered as soon as I saw the court yard where Lissa and I got pampered. Ambrose greeted us.

"My favorite customers, to what do I owe this pleasure." He touched his lips to our hands, lingering it on mine a bit longer than necessary.

"They're here for the dress up party, right Rose?" I turned to the little sing song voice that used to irritate the hell out of me, but now it was a voice I missed.

"Mia? Ohmigod. How are you?" Both Lissa and I exclaimed. Her porcelain face was so fragile hiding in those golden locks; she was in a white robe getting pampered too.

"Well I couldn't turn down a party, especially when someone invited me." She smiled now and it made us that much more eager to know.

"Well? Who's the lucky guy?"

"You'll see." She said and left us to Ambrose. His eyebrow was cocked in the air staring toward the back of Mia.

"She's a hard one to crack that girl. Kind of like someone I know." Ambrose winked, more at me than at Lissa and I could hear her squealing voice screaming in my head.

_He so has the hots for you._ I glared at her as we followed him to our seats. He took good care of us paying special attention to me and we left an hour later.

After hair and make up we were shrugging ourselves into our dresses up in one of the guest rooms Lissa was assigned to.

"Rose, Adrian said he'll be up to see you soon!" She disappeared into the bathroom. I realized I couldn't tie the back of the corset up by myself. I grunted.

"A little help Lissa! And tell Adrian not to see me yet!" I shouted as I held the front of my garment in case it slipped off me. God, this dress was a little tight. I was wondering if I had to hold my breath in it. I heard footsteps in the background and I looked to investigate.

"Adrian? Ugh you're not supposed to see me yet, I'm not ready." I was startled just as I felt hands on the back of my shoulder and they were cold as ice. One minute he was by the door and next thing you know he was behind me.

"Adrian goddamn it, you're fingers are cold." I complained as I sucked in my breath to compensate for the lack of room that this dress left me in. I closed my eyes because I was getting nauseous again and jet lag had finally taken its toll. Man I sure can do with some shut eye.

"Well you're here now. Can you do me up please?" He did and stayed silent as ever.

I felt the cold sweep of his fingers skim the sides of my neck and then the soothing motion as they massaged the tension out of my shoulders. I groaned in pleasure keeping my eyes closed to escape from reality and slip into the working hands that were soothing me. "God, it's like your magic fingers do the trick. You got any of that left for my head? It's killing the shit out of me!" I complained as I eased in to the massage.

"That's good…right there…ahhh…that feels _really _good." I hissed and threw my head back a bit. I decided to make conversation to avoid this obvious silence in the room.

"Adrian? About last night…I know where my heart is now, I mean I know where it used to be, but its not there anymore. I'm over Dimitri. I can't promise you a complete mended heart. But I know what I want and I want to be with you. So this is me giving you a glimpse at my heart." His hands stopped rubbing my shoulders and squeezed so hard I swear it would leave a bruise. I yelped in surprise. My hands went to my shoulders after a few curses of my own. His face loomed over my shoulder and neared my ear.

"Adrian what the f—"

"Don't think for a second, that I believe you. If I can't have you, then no one can…" He growled making the hot stench of his breath skim my ear. I gasped. That voice always sent shivers down my spine and it definitely wasn't Adrian's. I snapped my head up and stared in the mirror. He wore a black silk shirt and black slacks. His hair was sleek and gelled back into a pony tail, but the mask he wore was one of a killer; the black iron mask. His head was tilted and his eyes were darker. Not emerald eyes staring back at me but those red, dark eyes I knew all to well. My heart skipped a beat and I started to hyperventilate. _Dimitri. _My mind exclaimed.

"I guess even the Royal Court wasn't as guarded as it should've been, see you soon Roza," he chuckled. I whipped my head around and he was gone. _What the fuck! Please say I was hallucinating. _I silently chanted and the nauseous feeling vanished.

Lissa came out of the bathroom in her dress and handed me my masque. I sighed and calmed down. She looked gorgeous in her dress. It complemented her so much, making her jade eyes stand out like gems. Her hair was curled and left out.

"OhMy God! You look beautiful Rose_."_ I smiled and turned back to the mirror. I had my hair up in a chignon letting wispy stray curls hit the side of my face; it was a good way of showing off my molnija marks. I nodded toward her dress.

"You look better," I said squeezing her hand. She squealed and caught me in a quick hug.

"You ready?" I nodded.

"Ready!" I breathed and let her pull me toward the doorway.

We slipped our masks on and we both made our way to the courtroom; which was no longer a place where politics took place, but decorated like a ballroom dated back to the early centuries. Dark red velvet drapes adorned the far walls, draping criss-crossed over like half crescent moons at the bottom giving away the golden walls what lay behind them. Fine arts and crafts stood erect at every corner of the room. Although, the subtle stares and brooding manner of guards dressed in black, stood at the sides and the far back walls didn't go unnoticeable. People dressed in elegant dresses and different colored masques were displayed in a messy co-ordination around the room. Music reverberated off the walls, in a delicate tune with piano's and violins and all different tenors and notes that was singing in the air. Round tables and chairs were dotted around the room shying away from the dance floor with fine china only fit for a royal's acquaintance. It was extraordinary and yet _so_ not my scenery. I felt like I had gone back in time and landed in the fifteenth century. I was startled by the weight of a heavy hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Adrian beaming his pearly canines.

"Wow! Don't _you_ look beautiful Miss Hathaway? And the dress…wow! It looks waaaay better than the one I'm sure I chose for you. You look like a western slash gothic queen ready to take a few casualties, and I'll be dang, I'll be dying a happy man tonight…." That was exactly, the sort of complement that was to be expected from the flippant Ivashkov, although the western accent was uncalled for. Wait a minute. I creased my eyebrows.

"You mean to say you didn't order this dress?"_ Please say yes!_ _Please say yes!_

"Well they must have mixed up my order, but that is extravagant. I'm glad there was a misunderstanding. Wow!" I let that go for the time being. I didn't want to start thinking this was one of Dimitri's doing again.

Adrian was in a tux with a maroon cloth tucked in his breast pocket that had a tail on the back of the jacket. His white masque he wore was cut diagonally so that you could see only bits of his right eye and the right side of his face exposing his whole mouth. Christian wore a similar tux with a yellow cloth tucked in his breast pocket with a black masque that just outlined his eyes. Hand him a sword and a cape and he'll almost look like the mask of zorrow. His eyes were all over Lissa with the same look Adrian was giving me. I rolled my eyes.

"Alright already, keep it in your pants boys!" I teased.

"I reckon. We don't want Rose slipping up on your guys drool tonight!" Mia chided from beside us—who just so happened to be hanging from _Eddie's arms? _So he was the mysterious date she was talking about. Explains a lot of Eddie's previous giddiness for the past couple of weeks and need I say the secret texting he was taking to lately. Next to Eddie, Mia seemed tinier than usual, but she had that glow that girls get when they like someone. She seemed happy. It almost pleased me to see them find happiness with each other. They made a good pair. Who would've thought? Mia was in a white gown, above the knee frock, with a dust of light pink sheered into the garment. Her golden curls were plaited to the side giving off a crown look with pink beads embedded in her curls; her mask she wore was a white feathered cat's eye that she held up by a stick. Looking every bit like the porcelain doll I often teased her about, she looked really good. Everyone greeted her with hugs and waves, but me? I gave the best Rose greeting I could muster.

"_Well,_ don't you clean up better than a china doll," I teased. She rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, you're not so bad yourself, queen Armidela." I kept my smile to myself.

"So…you and Eddie huh?" I asked bluntly. She nodded and so did I.

"Yup! You know me, can't let the good ones go to waste." I laughed.

"Tell me about it." I shot a 'knowing look' toward Adrian. She followed my stare and smiled.

Eddie snorted and popped his collar. "You had your chance Rose," he teased while a smile tugged at his mouth. He wore a black and white pin-striped tux with a light pink vest that matched Mia's dress. His pimp hat was tilted on his head slightly and his white mask covered just his eyes that had some kind of black spiral design on it. They both looked like they stepped out from the 1920's or 1620's in this case. He added. "—now if you'll excuse us, I'd like to dance with my date?" He tugged Mia toward the dance floor like the gentleman he was.

"Fine, you kids have fun now." I said.

"Ivashkov is a keeper!" Mia whispered past me and let Eddie steer her away. I looked back and she just winked.

Moments passed and Christian had just invited Lissa up for a dance. So I decided to duck away to the buffet table.

"Oh no you don't!" Adrian crooned.

His hand outreached mine with his palm up and he dipped his head in what looked like a courteous bow.

"May I have this dance?" I hesitated for a second and then shrugged.

"Why not?" I stuffed a pancreas in my mouth and let him lead me to the dance floor. He took my hand and spun me off into the crowd. I wasn't all that into dancing but we had learned the basics. Although I had to say, it was much easier doing it with someone who knew how to handle himself and Adrian had a few tricks up his sleeves. His hand was at my waist while his other hand clasped mine. My left hand resting on his shoulder I used to pull him closer to me. I whispered.

"Can I ask you a question?" He nodded.

"Shoot!" I hesitated then pursed my lips. Adrian pulled back just enough to look at me, still dancing.

"What is it Rose?" He asked. I hesitated a moment.

"How sure would you be if I asked you how well this Court was secured?" I said finally. He looked surprised by the question choice.

"On a scale from one to ten? I'd say eleven. This Court has more wards wrapped around this place than the Buckingham Palace. It'll take a storm to break through those wards." He stated confidently.

"That's what I thought." I said and pulled him closer to avoid showing the disapproval on my face, because a little voice tugged at me and told me otherwise. They had thought the same about St. Vlad's, and the outcome was a tragedy. I remembered it like it was yesterday. Students screaming. Fire blazing. Corpses lying everywhere. The blonde Strigoi. I shuddered at the thought.

"Why do you ask?" I shook off my reverie.

"No reason." I let him lead me into a fairy tale dance. All of a sudden, the room started to spin and I was sure the faces that I was seeing were no longer people. They looked like ghosts from past times not real people, judging by their translucent figures as well as their swooping the room and dancing in the air. I shook my head and focused on Adrian. _Seriously Rose, stop tripping!_ He broke off the contact as the dancing changed into something different, choreographed and I was passed from Person to person—spinning and then waltzing around the place. I followed in suit but my ignorance from ballroom dancing was not only flawed but I was messing up the routine.

"Wait…stop! I'm going to be sick!" I spat but no one seemed to hear me. It only made the room spin more and the loud noise of laughter reverberated through the room almost like it sounded louder than the music. Echoes of eerie whispers clouded my ears. Blurry masked faces stole my sight as I spun from this person to that person. Dizzy couldn't even begin to cover it. My head felt like it was going to burst out on the dance floor.

"Seriously guys, I'm getting…dizzy." I was lost to the nauseous feeling and the spinning made my stomach hurl. No beating to the head could compare to the air compression that was taking part in my head. I tried to stay still but I was bumped in the arm from the right, and then the left until I felt like I was being used as a piñata. _Finally_ the music stopped and with one silent move I was gracefully dipped back, making my spine curve unnaturally, I was sure I would crack a spinal chord, and to my horror I was staring up to a male body looming over me. It was the black iron mask again and I could see his fangs through the gap of his mask as if he were fighting against a smile. His eyes every bit as red as the devils flame, and I knew that stare from anywhere. It was Dimitri. He kissed my neck and his breath was hot in my ear.

"_Buria!"_ He whispered slowly as if it was some kind of secret. It was like a rush of adrenalin came with the words he spoke, wakening up every nerve in my body and turning them into dust instantly. I blinked in surprise as I felt the impact of the floor on my ass. I knew I was truly in for; when I was stunned by a hard knock to my head as I fell to the floor. Moments later I heard a loud ringing in my ear and I jerked my head from side to side trying to block it out with my hands. Everyone was screaming and shuffling to and fro, and then I realized that the ringing was the alarm going off and the mysterious black iron mask was no where to be in sight. Guardians honed in like SWAT team and advanced on everybody to get them to a safe place. I could feel someone tugging at my arm and before I could shrug it off. I saw my mom. She was yelling "get out of here!" and ordered us to go to a place called 'the safe house'. Christian seemed in a frantic panic and I sighed knowing that they were alright. Then realized he was alone.

"Where's Lissa?" I groaned, while rubbing my head where I had hit it. He shook his head and whipped his head around from side to side as if that was an answer for itself.

"She was just here a minute ago, Adrian too!" Christian stammered. My heart took on a running marathon as vile thoughts came to mind concerning the black iron mask.

"A guardian must've taken care of them. Don't worry I'm sure they're fine. Hurry we need to get outta here!" My mom yelled.

People pushed and shoved and next thing I knew we were going down a weird case of concreted stairs.

"Let go of me! I have to find Lissa and Adrian!" I shrugged out of my moms grasp and ran back toward the courtroom. I heard my mom protesting but I didn't listen. I sprinted back the way I came. This was chaotic. The screaming and shuffling of bodies was mind boggling. I stopped just as I saw guardians fighting off…_Strigoi?_ Impossible. This was the Royal Court. The safest place for Moroi and Dhampirs alike. This can't be. It's just _not _possible.

_It would take a storm to take these wards down..._

Adrian's words repeated in my head. God! This was my fault. If I warned somebody, anybody this all won't be happening. Damn it why had I ignored my intuitions yet again? Maybe this wasn't happening? _Oh quit feeling sorry for yourself and get a move on!_ My conscience slapped me in to gear.

I knew my silver stake—that I had conveniently strapped to my upper thigh—would come in handy. I took one look at the situation and I was fighting off Strigoi within seconds and with no trouble. At least these ones were sloppier than the ones I had fought before, they were obviously new born. I saw my mom and Eddie fighting some of their own and several guardians were keeping in tow.

_Buria…_

That one word was going to forever haunt me, and the chill it gave made me so cold. The storm had hit and now we had to pay for it.

I was panting and bloody as soon as the fight was over. The dress was ruined with rips across my sides. Blood smeared the garment although it seemed to be camouflaged by the deep red of the dress itself. Guardians I've never met or seen before nodded their heads in thanks toward me. I replied cordially as more swarmed around to see if the coast was clear.

I fell to the floor letting the ball gown scatter out around me and closed my eyes wondering where the hell Lissa was, and if Adrian was with her too. It was risky but I knew the coast was clear to let my guard down for a few seconds. I slipped into her head, and I saw nothing; which meant she was out cold. I felt drugged as I was in Lissa's head. Her eyes opened sleepily and I saw a bunch of blur, and then I just caught the face of the black iron mask and then darkness.

Damn it! I slipped back into my body just as I heard one of the guardians walky-talky go off and I just caught the last few words confirming that Saint Vladimir's was hit first, but there was no casualties. Shit! How the hell did this happen? Sure the reason of logic was at stake here.

He attacked the academy and didn't find what he was looking for until he came here. Why the hell didn't he take me instead? What kind of logic was that? I was right under his nose.

God, I wouldn't forgive myself if something happens to Lissa _or_ Adrian. _Dimitri did this? _My_ Dimitri did this? _And if he didn't want me and taken Lissa instead, then he's taken her as bait. I let my face fall into the palms of my hands. I had a feeling that if this was—is Dimitri, which I undoubtedly knew was him.

Then he wouldn't so much as hurt her. He had no intentions on killing her before, or harming her—remembering how he once told me that she was none of his concern, and that all that mattered to him was me. But why take Adrian too?

_If I can't have you, then no one can…_

I was reminded of Dimitri's cold words. Adrian I was scared for, who's to know what he would do to him. Dimitri _was_ after all a Strigoi, and Lissa? She was the last of her royal line so God only knows what he'd do to her—them to get to me.

I did know something however. He _wanted _me to come to him. This was his sick way of getting what he'd wanted without asking for it. Great, just another thing to add to my horror story. Come to think of it, I was this close to making it on the best sellers list with a tale full of cryptic horror.

Though, this story of mine seemed like it was going nowhere. I mean the plot was all messed up, casualties down second to none, antagonist still standing, said antagonist, my former lover, so help me God if all goes well and this epic life of mine will succumb to a halt, with not so much as a scratch on anyone I care about? Then I promise I'll even kiss the Royal bitch's toes one by one, and even paint them for her, just to have my life back. Moral of the story? I'm fucked.

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_**A/N:**__ Told you it was long lol. Just trying ideas on for size, of course it won't happen in Meads world but I was having fun making this up. Tell me good or bad I'd love to hear it in a review! Thanks for your time! Oh and I know a professional writer won't send their material out in the line of sight without checking it over again, but that just proves that I'm not lmfao...so yes there would be a lot of mistakes in here, I just haven't had the time to check it over, maybe when I have the time I'll go over it and edit it...and thanks again for the previous reviews, they're very flattering, even the constructive criticism is a gem ;)_


	9. Chapter Nine

_**A/N: **__Hey guys! ME again. I have to say that I'm so overwhelmed by the reviews you guys give me; you almost leave me baffled to say anything. As much as I'd like to be, I am not Richelle Mead, but love the fact that I can almost live up to her potential, in saying that, I feel I'm not even half as good as Richelle Mead, but the confidence you people have in me is really awesome and that's telling me that obviously I'm doing something right. Constructive criticism helps too believe it or not, because it gives me the chance to work on my flaws. So all reviews considered, you guys make this story continue. Ohmigod! I can feel the pressure lmao I'm trying to not rush things and...I'm writing as fast as I can guys, but May 18th is coming too soon! For more days eeek! Awesome for the book, my writing? Not so much lmao_

**Disclaimer: **All rights go to Richelle Mead. No infringement intended. This is just for fanfic purposes only. 

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**Chapter Nine**

"ROSE, CALM DOWN!" Alberta ordered.

I lowered my voice in what passed as being _my_ kind of calm.

"I will say this again. I am not, nor will I _ever_, be associated with Belikov's minions or his half-assed job at bringing down the Royal Court! I was just as surprised as you guys were when it happened!"

I looked around the room at the various skeptical faces staring down at me. I had been in a similar situation like this before, back where my incompetence was on the line for failing to protect Christian from last years field experience. This time, they had called all the big guns to sit in for what looked like a mini-trial. Even Kirova was called, and forced to be here. In other situations, I would have been flattered, but this just wasn't something I should be taking lightly. Especially in Queen Tatiana's presence. I noticed how my mother stood a few inches to the left of me, but she didn't seem to be defending me. If anything, she seemed to be the prosecutor. I can guess who the executioner would be in this scenario. But seriously? Was it necessary with the third degree?

"Rose, we're not accusing you of anything, its just standard procedure. Everyone is in the hot seat for this. All we want is the facts. Now tell us the truth, and no more lying." My mom spoke up finally, and though she didn't have to say it. It sounded a lot like accusing to me. I narrowed my eyes. Standard procedure? That maybe the case, but it was obvious that they had made up their minds already, and I was most certainly in the hot seat.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence mom." I said sarcastically. She glared at me.

"Rose, I'm not taking sides here. We just want to hear your side of the story. Why are you being so difficult?" I rolled my eyes. Could it be because they were accusing me of something I did not commit?

"And I'm telling you, but you're not listening!" My mom bent down a little so she could meet me square in the face. Her auburn ringlets fell to the front and hit her face, as her expression reminded me of how she was still a guardian, and that I should respect her, despite our differences. She lowered her voice in an attempt to try knocking some sense in me.

"_Rose_. They just want to know where you were around the time the court was hit, that's all." She whispered. I gritted my teeth and met my voice with hers.

"And I told you, I was getting ready for the grad party. You can even ask—" I stopped myself from continuing.

I silently cursed because I was about to say Lissa…but obviously she wasn't here to defend my honor. Shit! I did look like a liable suspect. I had no alibi, as well as no witnesses that I was in Lissa's room at the time the wards had been broken into. I pursed my lips.

"Ask who Rose?" Said Alberta. I shook my head and looked at my mother.

"Ugh! You just don't get it do you? Why the hell would I let a bunch of Strigoi raid the court while the people I care about get hurt in the process huh? Tell me that _mom!" _I protested. It was Guardian Petrova's turn to chastise me. I braced myself for whatever was coming.

"It's not that we don't believe you Rose, it's just that…maybe you felt you had to do it." She stammered. I considered that for a second, until Kirova stepped in.

"Maybe he threatened you to help him? It's understandable, and something we could all fall victim to." I scowled. So much for the law of justice. I was already a criminal before I stepped foot in the room. I shook my head.

"I did _not _stake those wards in order to help him kidnap my friends! How many times do I have to repeat myself? I'm not even sure how I _could _stake these wards."

Okay, so maybe I knew a little about staking wards, and using a silver stake to stick in the ground was how it was done, but after the first attack at St. Vladimir's, back when Dimitri was turned? Alberta suggested putting locks on the gates as a form of extra security. It had worked for the most part, but Dimitri was always one step behind. Though Strigoi couldn't stake the wards themselves, they had human advocates to do the deed in exchange for immortality. So what was my motive? Help kill my friends in order to get the love of my life to awaken me? Yeah, like fuck I needed 'twisted bitch' to add to my life or my vocabulary.

"Well, you have a history of out of control behavior Miss Hathaway. First, you run away with the Dragomir princess, putting _her_ in the line of danger, not to mention you dropped out of school to God knows where and put _yourself _at risk. And need I have to remind you of that stake incident with Lord Ivashkov? I'm sorry but all faults point to you."

Ugh! She just had to bring out the wild card and summon my history. Tatiana; at the mention of the 'stake incident' gave me some kind of death glare, but it disappeared as fast as I could detect it. Apparently she hadn't gotten over that either. Well, no one had, as it seems. And by the looks of things, she didn't seem too pleased to have her chamber turned into this Rose-beater-of-a-trial. Okay, so my track record was bad enough. But seriously? Aiding and abetting a criminal? Even if he was my former lover. That was extreme even for me.

"I told you. I'm not involved with any of this, now please! Can we get someone out there to find them? A search party, or do something, _anything_, instead of wasting your fucking time interrogating me!" God, at this point, I was starting to sound like a broken record. I didn't even realize I had used profanity in front of the Queen, as well as my senior instructors.

"You're out of line Miss Hathaway!" Kirova warned. I gulped.

"I'm sorry, but accusing me for something I didn't do; it's unfair…and it certainly won't help the fact that Lissa and Adrian are still missing. I need to find them, we all need to." I pleaded. Kirova looked at me intently and then shook her head.

"I'm sorry Rose, but you'll be on probation for the next couple of days, just until we have more on the matter. Now, guardian Petrov and her team have organized a search party out to look for them. I trust that _they _will do their job efficiently. That is all." My mouth was agape. Did she just tell me I was discarded from the search?

"Oh you have _got_ to be kidding me! You're going to keep me from doing my job as Lissa's guardian? _And_ hold me for further interrogation? That's fricking absurd! Mom, you can't let them do this." My mother looked at me with a nothing-I-can-do expression. I blinked in surprise and averted my eyes back to Kirova.

"Technically, you are not Lissa's guardian, and this might change the outcome of that. Besides, it could be worse. You could be imprisoned for treason. Your Majesty? What do you suggest we do with her?" Tatiana turned at the sound of her title. She pegged her eyes on me with a level stare.

"I trust she will be punished accordingly, but I have other matters to attend to." Kirova nodded.

"Well, since we don't have any physical evidence, on the matter, she'll be suspended until further notice." That was the point wasn't it? No physical evidence means: no proof, so why the punishment?

"So be it!" Tatiana stated with a hiss. Kirova pushed her glasses up, looking at me over the rim.

"You've been dismissed Miss Hathaway."

Just like that! As if I had been tossed to the curb like a piece of garbage. I watched Kirova shuffle up her stack of papers to put in a manila folder as I realized the meeting was adjourned. Alberta, voiced a few commands through her radio and my mom just stood there, waiting for her cue to leave. Surely they couldn't do this.

I was frustrated now, but couldn't do nothing but stare. Kirova's glasses propped up on her birds' beak of a nose, and her eyes every bit as cold as I could remember. Ugh! And to think I nearly liked the old thing. What the hell just happened? I was aiding and abetting a criminal, as well as suspended from my guardian duties? What the hell happened to 'innocent until proven guilty?' or did justice call for different matters?

Damn! This made me wish I had my secret informant to work their magic. Speaking of, I wonder if she had a known that _she_ had been under the influence of compulsion once or twice before, maybe she wouldn't be too quick to judge. I mean, first with Avery, and then with Dimitri. Though, Avery's was just a suspicion of mine, but the latter was palpable. After all, she did say so herself, 'we could all fall victim to something like that'.

Yeah, maybe I _should_ say something, serves the bitch right.

But I guess that probably won't play out as good on my part, particularly because she might decide to punish me after all. Because God only knows that that stake incident with Ivashkov was long over due. I guess I'm paying for it as we speak. This so wasn't happening. I couldn't get my head around this. Tatiana I noticed sat there as calm and collective as I've ever seen her. She wore a dark purple corporate blazer, a mini skirt and a lilac colored blouse, and loafers. Her hair was tucked up in a chignon, but her expression was as impassive as I've ever seen her. Usually she always had something to say. Come to think of it, she's usually the one doing the chastising or the threatening, whatever she liked to call it.

Her head seemed somewhere else. Maybe she did have a heart after all, and was thinking of Adrian. My heart started beating fast as I thought of him. Lissa too…and I had no idea how I was going to save them, without having Kirova and everyone else on my back.

I sighed in exasperation knowing I had been defeated. This was going to affect my overall grade I was sure of it. Maybe I didn't have to keep from breaking my promise I made to my mother from this whole graduating thing, maybe they'd do it for me.

I watched everyone bow in courtesy toward the Queen and left. I pushed up from the chair I had been sitting in to find my feet and waited until I was escorted out of the chamber and back to my room. This room didn't serve no sentimental value like my room at the Academy did, but I knew that in less than a month. I'd be stationed here permanently while Lissa attended College, well, once I got Lissa back that is. And I'd officially be assigned as her guardian, but that life long dream seemed to be going down hill right about now.

Especially now that I was a supposed criminal. The only person that could save me from this predicament was Lissa. I was reminded of something Lissa once said when we were both in the library. That "I was her savior just as much as she was mine." That served to be true right about now, because she needed saving from a Strigoi and right now? I needed saving from the law. I slumped down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling fully aware of the guard dogs that waited outside my bedroom door. Apparently I needed babysitting because I was pointed a few guards of my own just until things settled, but time wasn't on my side at all. Now I had bigger and better things to worry about.

First I had to find Lissa and Adrian and bring them home safely. Then there was the Victor thing and finding this Robert Duro, and then I'd have to see if this theory would even work to be able to bring Dimitri back. Something in the pit of my stomach made me think of the latter. What if this was all for nothing? What if this Robert Duro guy was just crazy in general, and deluded himself into thinking he could change a Strigoi back to its former self.

If it were possible, couldn't the world have found out sooner? Because right now, it seemed like this world was falling victim to a Strigoi epidemic, or so it seems. What if…what if Lissa and Adrian were turned by force. Oh God! What if they were turned instead of getting killed? No I couldn't think like that, there were too many lives at risk to think of the 'what ifs'. I had to think positive.

Times like these made me wish I had a close relationship with my mother.

There was nothing like a mother's reassurance that made you feeling somewhat secure. I mean I wouldn't change my mother for anyone, but I certainly would want to change certain choices that had been made in the past in order to have a better relationship between her and me. Maybe that's why I felt like I was closer to Olena Belikova.

Maybe I needed an older role model, and substituted her for what my life had been deprived from. I did sometimes wish I had her here to turn to, she always knew the right thing to say, Oksana too…she was like the older sister I never had. I furrowed my eyebrows as a thought came to mind and I searched in my pocket for the silver ring she charmed. I turned it over in my fingers noticing how cold it was. Oksana had given it to me while I was in Baia.

She told me it would give me some peace of mind, and it had for the most part. Dimitri too. He had a sense of peace when he held it, and he was a _Strigoi_. I had lost it recently and it coincidently turned up in the hands of Adrian. I was glad he found it when he did, because it was my only souvenir of my time spent in Russia.

That and the fact that it was a gift from Oksana, and that it was charmed with Spirit was an ultimate bonus. Something I found useful when my life decided to take a U-turn into crazy-ville. I slid it on my left forefinger and studied it with my head tilted to the side.

This was stronger than I remember it being, like a big form of spirit had taken over it. I remember Oksana saying that eventually it would fade, depending on how long you wear it, but wearing it now felt like the first time I put it on, like I hadn't lost it at all. I curled my fingers up into a ball and tucked both of my hands under my face, and a thought came to mind. I wondered if it was Adrian who charmed the ring too, after all he did know about my time in Russia. I curled into myself and gazed out the window hoping my life would make sense any minute now.

I raised my eyebrows as my eyes went to the door and back to the window. _Hmmm…maybe it's starting to make sense right now! _I got up to see how high the ground was from here. I looked out over the edge as far as I could without opening the window. _Damn pretty high if you'd ask me_. I silently countered.

On the plus side? It was a damn good thing I had experience with high windows, because judging from the view from here? I was dying to pull some Mission Impossible shit. I grabbed my duffel and reached for the latch, then froze just as I heard the door handle turn and then a knock at the door.

I grunted. _Just check it and be gone with it._ I stuffed my duffel under my pillow, pulled the covers to look like I had been in it, and mussed my hair up a bit. I made my way toward the door and reluctantly opened it enough to fit my head out of it. I furrowed my eyebrows, just as I saw Christian; standing in a pair of boxers, a loose tee, a pair of running shoes and a couple of walk E talk Es. I popped my head out in each direction, wondering where Mr. Rottweiler and Mr. Doberman ran off to; obviously they must have thought I was asleep. I pulled Christian by the shirt and pulled him in my room.

"What the hell are you doing up here?" I whispered. He looked like a shivering mess. His hair tousled like he hadn't been sleeping and the goose-bumps on his skin made me think twice about going out in my tank top.

"Anyone told you how cold your room is? Man good thing I'm here." I rolled my eyes when a blast of warmth clouded my room like a fan heater had just boosted its heat up to its full temperature. His goose-bumps disappeared, as well as mine. I glared at him while he peered out the window, as if casing the place.

"Anyone told you, you're deliberately avoiding my question?" I said dryly.

"What do you _think_ I'm doing Rose? We're gonna get your ass out of here and find my girlfriend…and that weasel boyfriend of yours." He walked over to my bed and stuffed pillows under the covers to compensate for the room in order to look like I was in there. I wanted to point out that this was the 21st century, and that stuffing pillows under covers were so third grade-ish. But all my mind could think of was that 'I was _so _not that fat'. I realized what he was saying and furrowed my eyebrows.

"We are? And he's not my boyfriend." Well, not officially anyway. Not that it mattered. I'd probably die alone, wondering what it was like to say I _had _one.

"Pity, he should be, by the way you and he look at each other, now quick stalling and let's go. We have to get you out of here."

"Oh yeah and how the hell are we going to pull that off? I'm on probation, remember? Speaking of, where the hell is the guard dogs Kirova put on me?" He scratched his head.

"Ah…yeah about that. We better hurry. As you said before, my compulsion sucks." I scoffed.

"Wait! Tell me you didn't use compulsion on them." He shrugged.

"Didn't have a choice." I grunted and shook my head in a god-you're an-idiot sort of way and then beamed a smile.

"Have I ever told you how stupid you are? And that I'm happy to see you right now?" I hugged him while he protested under my bear hug.

"Yeah, thanks, just don't let it go to your head." He said with an eye roll. He picked up my duffel bag and slung it over my shoulder. He stopped and looked at me.

"So we gonna do this or what?" I nodded while pursing my lips.

"Yeah…I guess…hey Christian?"

"Yeah?" He creased his eyebrows in annoyance.

"You're the only person who didn't question if I did it or not." He raised an eyebrow, and his glacial blue eyes did it justice.

"Did what?" He asked over his shoulder. I glared in a what-do-you-think? Kind of way.

"_Christian._ I'm on probation for aiding and abetting a criminal, and currently suspended from guardian duties, and need I mention the guard dogs on my ass?" He ran his hand through his hair and nodded.

"Yeah I heard a little of that, but I know you better. Though, keeping a leash on you is something I recommend." He added thoughtfully. I laughed a little.

"Okay fire boy…but exactly what were you planning on doing in your boxers?" I eyed his Calvin Klein's that obviously Lissa treated him to. He looked down and shrugged.

"Oh yeah, about that. Um…I work efficiently." I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.

"Wait here, I'm sure I have some nylon sweats for you somewhere." I rummaged through my cases and found my black nylons and a dark grey hoodie with a picture of a stencil outline of the city of Moscow, and chucked it over to Christian. He eyed the picture with interest and then raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged.

"Got it from target, reminded me of a place I know." He shrugged and put it on. I found a few clothes of my own. I canned the white clothes I had on and shrugged on a dark blue thermal and some tight track pants in the same color, they almost looked black. Christian stood there regarding me curiously.

"What?" I noticed how his eyes roamed up and down my body, but not in a sleazy way.

"Anyone tell you, you look like a natural born killer in blue." I tied a band around my hair to pull it up away from my neck and we were good to go. Did Christian just compliment me with colors? I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah? You should see me in red. I have a killer punch in that too…" He chuckled and handed me a walk-e talk-e. I shoved a flashlight in my duffel and made for the door, and then a thought came to mind. Where the hell were we going anyway? I hadn't even planned on anything, and definitely didn't have a plan prior to escaping, so all in theory? We were practically going in blind sided from all corners. I stopped Christian before he went out the door.

"Wait! What are we doing? We haven't even planned this out yet; we don't even know the first place to look."

"You and me both. But you're Rose, you don't need a plan. You jump in blind, and deal with the consequences later." I scowled. Was I that transparent?

"I'm already dealing with consequences, and might I add for nothing." He shrugged.

"Well, you may as well give them something to punish you for right? And since we have no leads on Lissa and Adrian just yet, we do on another matter." I raised my eyebrows. "You have? And what exactly might this _other matter_ concern?" He smiled.

"Well, while you were moping around feeling sorry for yourself, I happened to be doing a few planning on my own. Prison break ring any bells?" I raised my brows.

"You did?" He nodded.

"Uh huh…and Adrian too, but there's no time to explain just yet. Oh that reminds me. He told me to give these to you." He handed me a phone, and a number.

"What do I need his phone for?" He shrugged. "He said it'll come in handy, oh and a key, which by the way I have no clue what door it fits to, just said, you'll know when to use it." Okay, points to Adrian for being so efficient, and Christian. God, where would I be without them? Speaking of, we had to get a move on, since the guardians I had on my back would probably come back any time soon. Well, with the kind of compulsion Christian was capable of? I was quite surprised they hadn't been back already.

"So we're really going to do this?" He slapped his hand on my shoulder.

"Looks like it!" He said and pushed me out the door.

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_I'll post the next chapter up in a bit so you guys can get through the three chapters I've already written. I'm going as fast as I can, but rushing it might affect my writing lolz...so yeah sorry I cut it off abruptly again. Feel free to voice your opinions. I like negatives as much as positives ;) Tell me anything that I've missed, or inconsistency flaws or whatever. Go crazy lol_

_P.S: This is kind of a filler chapter just to get things moving along lolz_


	10. Chapter Ten

**_A/N:_**_ hey guys sorry I'm taking long with this, it's just editing that takes me long to complete things lmao...okay moving along hope you enjoy, if not I'm sorry to have disappointed ya! have fun reading ;) Oh and just so you know, all the places I'm mentioning are kind of random. I pretty much closed my eyes and pointed at a place on the map, or they probably don't exist lolz so much for creativity right lmfao anyway...enjoy!_

**Disclaimer: **I feel like a broken record with this, but I feel everytime I write fanfiction, I have to do a disclaimer. I do NOT own anything, obviously Richelle Mead owns everthing. I'm just a fandom wannabe writer, that happens to like VA series, and can't seem to wait until Spirit Bound is out. 

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**Chapter Ten**

**C**HRISTIAN AND I HAD MADE IT through the hallways of guest housing without interruptions.

All of this sneaking around made me feel like a criminal, because I knew I was doing something wrong, but my intuitions about doing it for the greater good, trumped that feeling, and was tucked behind my voice of reason. Dodging guardians was something I was used to, but after the raids? The Royal Court had been under strict surveillance with guardians back to back, looking for potential threats.

Surprisingly Christian and I had made it through most of the labyrinth and we hadn't even got to the lobby yet.

In fact this reminded me a lot like when Lissa and I had escaped from the Academy, and that had almost been four years ago. But that wasn't half as bad as what we were doing now. I was about to commit felony after felony. Soon we'd have to call ourselves Thelma and Louise. I pursed my lips as I thought of how life had taken its path down crazy-ville.

Damn! How times had gone by like a speeding bullet. It felt like years were minutes where I was concerned. One blink and I'd miss it completely. I was snapped out of my reverie once I felt a shove behind me. It was Christian telling me to stop daydreaming and told me to keep going, and within seconds we were in the lobby faced with more guards.

We hid away into the shadows just as I spotted one of the guards had been Eddie. I felt a little jealousy crawl to the surface when I saw how Eddie handled himself as a guardian. He was in his formal attire, white shirt, black slacks, black jacket and coasting the area with his eyes, while the other guardian paced to and fro.

I was slightly envious of Eddie, because he got the privilege to hang with the big guys. _That should be me standing there…_I silently cursed myself. This wasn't the time to be selfish. In fact, I may as well kiss my future goodbye, if I keep this up. I shook my thoughts aside and kept my eye on the other guy.

I watched Eddie case the place like a professional and minutes later, he called the other guard over to him. He leaned in just enough so their conversation wouldn't be heard. A few moments passed, and the guard disappeared out of the lobby leaving Eddie by himself.

"Pssst!" Christian called him over. Eddie's head turned our way with a wary expression. We were hiding back in the shadows, behind a large plant in the corner. Eddie had been standing by the door across from us, and then he advanced on us within seconds. He knelt in front of me, still watching his back.

"Eddie, what are you doing?" I whispered. He nodded his head in greeting.

"Hey Rose, nice to know you're on board with us." I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Us? Since when was there an 'us?'" Confused couldn't even begin to cover what I was feeling.

"No time to catch up Rose, but there'll be a couple of guards that will greet you at the entrance. They've been induced by Mia, but I don't think she could hold them for too long. So you better hurry."

It took a while for all of this to register in my head. I knew how risky this all was, I mean all Moroi were capable of compulsion, but using it against people was considered a crime. A petty one, but still…and Mia and Christian? Well, they were the few people who weren't really good at it. But apparently exceeding their abilities was part of the whole façade. I looked from Eddie to Christian and then back again and frowned.

"Wait, you're all in this? Where the hell have I been?" Eddie eyed my hair with an eyebrow cocked.

"Sleeping as it seems." I scowled.

"I was_ pretending_ to be asleep." I corrected. I thought I got the knots out by tying my hair up, but obviously not. His skeptical glare never wavered.

"_Right_ and I've been hanging with Jessica Alba all this time." I gave up; obviously this was no time to play games.

"Fine…you were saying?" Eddie, all teasing gone, turned into this serious, badass guardian. I was impressed. I mean I knew he was a good guardian, but seeing him in action? Well, let's just say I was glad to call him a friend of mine.

"If you go through that way, you'll come out on the west wing, take a right, then two lefts, and you'll see Mia. The guards will let you out, and the car will be waiting a mile up the road." He pointed out exits and all the hot spots where the guardians were expected to be, and places where it was easier to avoid them. Eddie was a strategic guy I noticed, and a damn good guardian.

"Where exactly are we going? And a wheel man? We have one of those?" I countered. Eddie nodded.

"You'd be surprised, Rose." Wasn't that the understatement of the year, I was beyond surprised.

"Um…yeah, surprised couldn't even begin to cover it." I admitted. I wondered how in the world they could have done this in less than forty eight hours. Yeah, Adrian had connections, and in all the right places as I had noticed, but I wasn't expecting it to work in my favor. Eddie gave a side-long glance.

"Well, word was out you needed to commit a felony, involving Victor Dashkov. Adrian managed to snatch up his records, so here take these and go!" He stuffed a scroll full of papers in my hand and I curled my fingers around it.

"Okay, somebody wake me up when this is over, because obviously I'm dreaming." Christian beamed a smile.

"Told you she's been secretly fantasizing about me, but I'm sorry to say, I'm off the market." Eddie smirked and nodded in my direction.

"That makes two of us." I scoffed and shook my head.

"Boys!" I muttered to myself.

"Now get outta here, before I change my mind." Eddie said and ushered us out the door.

"Yessir!" I said under my breath and gave him a quick nod in 'thanks'; he returned it by patting me on the shoulder as the big brother he always was to me. We took the directions he pointed out, leaving him in the lobby and made our way to the entrance.

As soon we got there, my heart decided to take on a running marathon, as I stared across the way at the entrance. I was slightly wary when I saw how the two guards stood there like they were about to arrest us for something. One guy looked like I could take on easily, the other? Not so much. His burly frame made me think of a body builder, or wrestler. Though I had been trained to take on opponents twice my size, something about his, made me uneasy. But if it came down to it? I'd be forced to play dirty. My nerves calmed a little just as we spotted Mia, and took up station next to her. Mia hurried us to them and surprisingly the guards nodded in a form of greeting as if they were expecting us, and the gates were opened.

The guards looked like they didn't have a clue what they were doing, as if their bodies were acting out for themselves. Mia voiced a quick 'good luck' and scurried away while the guardians went back to "guarding" as the gates closed up.

We were out side the gates and walking a mile up the road a few moments later and it finally dawned on me, that this just seemed all so surreal. Now I was going to add 'fugitive' to my records. God, I was getting deeper in shit that I intended. Looking on the Brightside? I was free, well figuratively speaking. But I refused to get my hopes up just yet, it was still early.

I looked up at the sky as if somewhere up in the stars could tell me what time it was. It had to be at least a few hours before sunrise, so walking on a straight narrow road like this one made my guardian instincts come out to play.

Right now, everyone had been on curfew. We lived on a nocturnal schedule in Montana, at the Academy, but here at the court, everyone had to be in there dorms just until they sorted out what went wrong. That's why it was reasonably hard to get out of guest housing. The guards had been monitoring it closely. Out of strict luck had we been able to escape from there without getting caught.

I looked around to study my surroundings. It was quiet around this time, save for the sleepless creatures that occupied the area. Even the sound of our boots sticking in the ground was more dominant with all the eerie silence that fanned between us. The road was lightly dusted with snow, but it wasn't as much as the hills had, just enough to feel the cold in the air.

I had to hand it to Christian. He was a tough guy, and there wouldn't be any other person that I'd rather have here with me than him. We made one hell of a team when we were together, and if a Strigoi happened to jump out of no where? Well, with his fire magic and my Strigoi instincts. Let's just say, they'll be toast. Literally.

We came up to an intersection and halted at the signs: West pointed toward Ohio; East pointed to New York and South pointed toward West Virginia. I was silently hoping they had a sign for Lost, because that's what we were. A rustling sounded from the bushes a few feet away behind us and I crouched down gesturing to Christian to stay back. I didn't have my signature nausea when Strigoi were near so I knew it wasn't going to be a threat, but that didn't mean I would let my guard down.

I put my hand on my stake, gripping it firmly so I had it out in the ready. Christian looked at me as his eyes gave me a look like he was about to pull his fire magic out. I shook my head and put my index finger over my mouth for him to be quiet. I looked back to the rustling and gingerly crept closer. I furrowed my eyebrows when a red car came into view, and a familiar girl stepped out from her hiding place. My eyes brightened and I straightened up in recognition.

"Sydney? What the…" She gave a quick wave.

"Hey Rose!" She eyed the stake that was in my hand carefully and her smile disappeared abruptly. "—I hope you weren't planning on using that thing on me." Her hands went up in protective mode. I shook my head.

"Ahh…no, I thought you were. Never mind." I said and shook my thoughts off to focus on her. She stopped to lean on the bonnet of her car, or what she called 'the hurricane' and crossed her arms over her chest. It was parked a little off the road, just enough so it could be covered by shrubbery.

She had a long teal checkered coat on, with white slacks and loafers, as she waited. I slipped my stake back in my belt.

"You're the wheel man?" I noted. She nodded with a tight wary smile, and tightened her grip around the crucifix that hung from her neck. She was more wary about Christian standing beside me.

"Wheel _girl,_ as it seems," said Christian then leaned in to my ear so I could only hear. "A human?" Christian pointed out. I nodded and rolled my eyes, as if that wasn't obvious.

"Oh yeah, Sydney? Meet Christian. Christian, Sydney. Don't worry about him, he's harmless."

She didn't seem to take that into account. According to Sydney, all vampires within a miles radius she considered harmful, and took with great precaution. She was after all a religious bigot, and fallen into the line of Alchemy; which were humans who are sworn to secrecy and prevent our vampire race from being discovered. They also have a few tricks at disposing Strigoi corpses with a little fairy dust, if you will. I'd learned beforehand when I left a few dead bodies of my own in Novosibirsk. But she was a friend of mine, and I wondered how in the hell she ended up in the midst of all this.

"How… when?" I was this close to stuttering, with the amount of questions I wanted to ask.

"I got a call that you needed my help!" She stated at last.

"You did? Man I wish I got that call. Save me from all this confusion." She rolled her eyes.

"Figures, jump in." She nodded to the hurricane. I eyed the thing with a smile. Her one prized possession she was proud of. She leaned in the passenger's side window and held a long black jacket. I wasn't one for materialistic idolization, but with Lissa's royal status, and her designer fetish, she had clued me in on designers, and by the look of it? Even I wasn't as ignorant to know that wasn't a knock off. And that was definitely Valentino printed all over that jacket. She handed it over to me.

"You're gonna need this." She said and my eyes stained the garment like a kid with their first candy. I retrieved the jacket and let my fingers roam over the collar. The pure cashmere felt inviting under my touch and the pricey look on it made me think twice about wearing the thing. It looked like a thick long blazer with a tie up. Sydney looked at Christian apologetically. "Sorry, I kind of got the impression that she was coming alone." He shrugged.

"Yeah, thanks, but I'm a big boy, I can take care of a little cold." I shrugged the jacket on and it fit perfectly. I slid in the passenger's side, while Christian occupied the back seat. Sydney went to work with the key, and the car wheezed on the first few tries. Seconds later, the car kicked in with a vroom and the blinkers set off to the left; which pointed toward the west. Feeling like a fugitive already, my nerves settled as The Royal Court disappeared in the rearview.

"So where are we off to, anyway?" Okay, the big sign that read Pittsburgh screamed 'obvious' but the why? Not so much.

"North Dakota." I pegged her with a skeptical stare. We were miles away from North Dakota. In fact, had I known that? I would've stayed at the Academy, seeming how that was closer to it than here in Pennsylvania where the Royal Court was.

"Please tell me we're not driving all that way. That's like over two hundred miles to cover…" She shook her head.

"No, I don't think the hurricane can make it that far anyway." Christian, at the mention of the 'hurricane' seemed amused as he eyed the thing with interest.

"There's a gas station a few miles up from here, and a diner. I figured you'd like to stop in for a coffee before we go any further. Our flight is scheduled for 4.30am in Pittsburgh, so I hope you brought a passport." Sydney looked at me expectantly, then back on the road, and then added, "please say you have your passport…"

I furrowed my eyebrows and started searching in my duffel bag. _Shit! Passport, where the hell was mine? _As if reading my mind, Christian waved two small booklets in the air.

"You mean these things?" He smiled. I sighed in relief and snatched mine off him.

"Rose, Rose, Rose…what will you do without me eh…?" Christian shook his head in mocking pride. I groaned.

"Coffee sounds goood," I said and let my head fall back on the head rest. Abruptly, I turned to look at Sydney.

"Tell me…exactly _who _is in North Dakota?" Sydney furrowed her eyebrows as if annoyed at how little I knew of this road trip.

"Read the papers Rose. It might do you some good." Christian answered me instead. I dug into my duffel bag and fished out the papers Eddie had handed to me. I rolled the three pages of documents out and brushed my palms over to straighten them out. They were Victors transferring documents, all signed by Tatiana. I let my eyes skim over it and then I furrowed my eyebrows.

"St. Bismarck, State Penitentiary; North Dakota…since when did they have a Moroi prison there?" Sydney shrugged.

"It used to be the old Minot Air Force Base, up until the local council ordered to get rid of it. Demolition was appointed, but bought controversy about creating an avalanche, being so close to the mountains and all, so they just left it. Abandoned and everything. Moroi bought the section centuries ago and turned it into a private owned prison. I'm surprised you don't know this already. Don't you pay attention in history?"

Obviously not. I was only aware of the current Minot Air Force Base that they had up now, and that was in Ward Country, not in Bismarck. I went back to reading the rest of the papers. It had dates in which he was transferred, names that had him escorted, even his inmate number which by the way should have been 666 for all I cared, and a whole lot of irrelevant nonsense that filled the pages. I skipped a few lines until something caught my eye.

"Wait, it says here that Victor _requested_ to be transferred to North Dakota? Why the hell would anyone want to be in a particular prison by choice?" I looked to Sydney hoping she would have the answer I needed, but she looked as clueless as I was.

"I honestly don't know." Sydney was slightly disappointed at her lack of help, but she shrugged it off and focused back on the road. Christian decided to voice his opinion.

"Heaps of reasons." I shifted my gaze on him. He was slouched on the back seat, with his long legs spread to each side in order to compensate for the lack of room the car had. I raised my eyebrows surprised at his commentary.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" I challenged. He shrugged, giving his lower lip a little pout. Christian was reasonably tall, well all Moroi were, but he made the back look like a toddler's seat. He practically took up the whole back seat with his frame.

"Well, being closer to a loved one would do it for me. If I was in prison for something…bad or whatever, I'd definitely want to be as closer to Lissa as I could." I twisted my head toward Christian so I could look at him properly. He seemed wary at my expression.

"_What?_ Why are you looking at me like that? Oh right! Don't worry. You'll probably be in the cell next to me, preferably waving a mirror at me complaining about how you didn't get enough food." I had to laugh at that one. Christian and I had been through a lot together, and cell mates? Well, we were one step closer from heading in that direction. I smiled down right stupidly.

"Christian, I think you just made the top list of being my favorite person in the world. I could kiss you right now." He scowled.

"Please don't, I just ate." I kissed the papers instead.

"You know how many hands have touched that?" Sydney's disapproving voice cut in. I rolled my eyes and ignored that for a second.

"Do you know what this means?" My eyes brightened with glee.

"You'll get ink on your teeth?" Christian teased.

"_No…_that Victor obviously wanted to be closer to a loved one...and since the only existing immediate family member is his half brother, maybe that's who he wanted to be closer to."

"He has a half brother?" Christian asked curiously. I nodded.

"Yeah, his names Robert Duro. A spirit user too…but he's got a few loose screws in his head, or so I was told."

"How you figure we're going to get through to him then? Or better yet, _to_ him?" He asked. I shrugged.

"You know what? I haven't a clue, but at least this will tell us that we don't necessarily have to commit a felony to get answers if you know what I mean." Christian didn't seem too pleased about something.

"And exactly how does this all relate to saving Lissa and Adrian?" I sighed.

"Good question. I haven't thought that far ahead, but I'm getting there. Right now, we get this taken care of, and then we'll take care of them."

I let my head fall back into the chair and settled comfortably. The car fell silent and the static sound of the radio droned on to a classic rock song. Snow covered the side hills, and trees, while the hypnotic hum of the car made my eyes feel sleepy.

In an hour or so, dawn will sheer its light, and maybe so would a miracle. I wasn't aware of it, but I was automatically shoved into Lissa's head.

That only happened once or twice when I was asleep, and subconsciously I'll accidently get pulled into her head while her and Christian were having sex. And that hadn't been pretty at all. I ended up getting a show I most certainly hadn't been invited to.

This time, her emotions were mixed with the same feeling you tend to have when having sex, yet she wasn't. Then I realized it was endorphins from a bite. I happened to be lying down somewhere in a dark place. No, it was my eyes twitching to open, but the drowsy feeling I got when I tried to open them, made me shut them instantly.

My eyelids felt like heavy bricks. I shuffled around to get comfortable, but my back felt like it was on a pile of concrete. I heard clinking sounds in the background and my head turned toward the sound of its echo. I furrowed my eyebrows. Faint sounds of cars and horns sounded above me, but not as loud as if I could be near them. I had to be underground. Somewhere.

I urged Lissa to open her eyes as if they were my own. She groaned and surprisingly I managed to peel her eyes open. Instant blur clouded my vision. I could only make out shapes and shadows moving past, but nothing too clear. It was worse than a camera being out of focus. I felt the urge to rub my eyes, but my hands felt restrained. I wish I had some kind of way so I could communicate with her, or some way she would know I was with her. I sensed her discomfort and I almost felt sick to my stomach that Lissa was going through all of this. I felt so helpless. I blinked again when I felt someone near my vision.

"Wakey wakey, sleepy head." I froze as if he were talking to me. I knew that voice anywhere as if it was permanently stained in my mind. His Russian accent was a little distant, but I think it was my hearing doing the damage. My heart started hammering in my chest. Almost like I forgot I was in Lissa's head and I was trapped in there myself.

It was like reliving the nightmare at Galina's estate, back when Dimitri had captured me in Russia. This time Lissa was going through it. A tinge of hatred roiled over me. Dimitri had stooped low, and I silently cussed him out as if he could hear me. Lissa groaned again and blinked her eyes furiously to get a good look at her captor. I saw his fangs through my vision and his red Strigoi eyes. His face was out in full view, no black mask, letting his hair hit the side of his face freely, but his features were still a blatant blur. I noticed how his hair seemed longer out. Almost past his shoulders. I shouldn't have taken that into account but I couldn't help it.

He brushed her hair out of the way of her face like he was nurturing her, then lifted her head up and placed a thermal to her mouth. I tasted copper on my tongue as if I was drinking it, and I realized he was giving her blood. Lissa refused to open her mouth further, however and managed to hit it away with her jaw. I hadn't known Lissa to be stubborn at all, but maybe I had rubbed off on her a little. Maybe that was a good thing, because there was no knowing what kind of blood he was giving her.

For all we know, it could be his. And that was one of the ways Strigoi could turn their victims into one of them, and feeding his blood would complete that process, but somehow I doubted that that was his intentions. Especially how careful he seemed with me—her.

His caresses weren't the same as he once used on me, but still his touch made all my senses come alight. As if he meant to be touching me. Maybe he didn't intend on hurting her at all, and maybe she was just a pawn just to get to what he really wants; which was me. Refusing to drink only made him angry, but he didn't act out on it.

A shadow passed and it seemed like he was walking away. I now realized why Lissa's fatigue had taken a toll on her, she hadn't been feeding enough. Which made me rethink of how stubborn she aught to be, and take the stuff that was offered to her. I wondered just how long she could handle without it, but the drug she was on wasn't helping either. I tried to tune into what he was saying as he turned his back. One thing I didn't expect to still have this feeling that I still had for him. Even in his state, I couldn't deny that I loved him. I was still _in love_ with him.

"What did you say?" He whipped his head in my direction. Okay, I'm pretty sure I didn't say that out aloud. And being in Lissa's mind? I was sure of it. He advanced on Lissa, and knelt down in front of her with both of his hands on her face.

"What did you say?" He repeated. I had a feeling he was looking in my eyes, not Lissa's. All she was capable of was slurring words. He slightly shook her to snap her out of her dazed state. I felt as if he were shaking me awake instead.

"…still…in love with…him." Wait, did I just hear Lissa slur those exact words that I was thinking?

"With who?" He urged her to keep going. This was starting to really creep me out. This was not happening. I mean, for one: Lissa and I only shared a one way bond with each other, which meant I can hear her thoughts, feelings and what not, but vice versa? That had never been heard of, and I was sure of it. In fact, only Oksana was capable of something like that. She was able to brush through peoples minds. Strigoi were capable of a lot of things too, but I was pretty sure 'reading minds' wasn't one of them. But that still didn't explain why Lissa was saying what I was currently thinking? I wondered if I should test this theory. _Lissa can you hear me? _

No answer. _Lissa, it's Rose, are you okay?_

No answer. Okay, so that wasn't going anywhere…maybe it was just her subconscious saying something that I happened to be thinking.

"Rose…?" I heard Lissa choke my name out of her mouth. I met my eyes with Dimitri's. My vision was clearing a bit, but not enough that I could make out his features, or surroundings. _Lissa. I'm here with you, don't worry I'm a get you outta there okay?_ Lissa nodded and I blanched all over. _Did she just answer me? _I watched Dimitri cock his head to the side and study me. And then he smiled.

"You're with her aren't you? You're in her mind?" Dimitri asked, but it was more like a curious statement as if he already knew the answer. Something at the back of my mind knew that he wasn't talking to Lissa anymore. He was talking to me. I swear it was like his eyes could see right through my soul. Dimitri didn't possess any godlike powers other than the speed and strength you get along with being Strigoi, well if you count immortality to be godlike, and he also had some form of compulsion he could use, but his intuitions were always right. Even as a Dhampir he saw right through me. He hovered over my face and ran his thumb absently over my cheeks.

"My Roza…? I was wondering when you were going to show." His mouth twitched up in a smirk. I glared in my own skin, but Lissa's groaning took on a new tenor. She was struggling a little under his touch, but he forced her to settle.

"—you're quite predictable to be honest, but I knew you'd try to look for her on your own, without involving any authority. I guess I knew that much." How did he know I wouldn't have involved authority?

"I suppose, I should've let Kirova suspend you on her own terms, but after all, she's quite a susceptible clientele. Given her age, I wouldn't be surprised." He chuckled abruptly. "I may have to reward the Zeklos boy for helping though. He was quite happy to avenge his honor from dobbing you in." he added thoughtfully.

_Lissa snap out of it. _I silently pleaded. Dimitri carried on with his commentary. "Just as well I was one step ahead of you, and able to delay your chances. Don't worry; I always had faith that you'd get out of there without interruptions. As I said, I have connections among the guardians, and some are loyal than others." He let his mouth hover by my ear making me shiver from the hot feel of his breath.

"I'll see you soon Rose, make sure you come alone, or Ivashkov might have to pay for it." He whispered in my ear. I was startled by the hand on my shoulder and I slipped out of her head. I blinked furiously and jerked my head from side to side. My head felt like I was drenched in moisture and then I noticed Christian. And then Sydney. And my heart took a while to slow back to its normal pace. I thought I'd never say it, but I was glad to see Christian's face in my line of sight. Man, this was the first time I felt uneasy going into Lissa's mind. That was like a nightmare. I wondered if I had dreamed it all, but somehow I doubted that.

"Why were you screaming?" Christian asked. I furrowed my brows. Was that me? I shook my head.

"I don't know." I admitted. I was still trying to shake that unnerving feeling I had with being in Lissa's head.

"You said something about Lissa, is she okay?" I raised my eyebrows, noting how Christian had guessed I had been with her and not sleeping. That meant that wasn't a nightmare, it was reality.

"No, he's got her drugged on something, so it's hard to tell where I am when I'm with her. I think he's thought this through. He knows of our bond, so he's keeping her on some type of drug." Though I hadn't expected him to know I was in her mind, still, that was freakishly weird. As for the drug? That was obviously endorphins from his bite, I had experience beforehand, but there was something stronger. I mean, I know how a Strigoi bite could be ten times stronger than any Moroi bite, but I had a feeling that he had her on something on top of that…like some kind of date rape drug. I couldn't explain the feeling.

I wanted to say something, anything about what I just had experienced, but my mouth refused to voice it out aloud. That, and I couldn't bring myself to tell Christian what Lissa was going through just yet. He'd only worry his self into an early grave.

"Should've killed him when you had the chance." He muttered to himself.

I winced but he didn't seem to notice, or at least it's what I hoped for. Christian knew the basics about the relationship I had with Dimitri, only through Lissa's half truths, and he wasn't the prying type to get in my head to ask what was going on with me, but he was aware of how serious it had been. Only because he dealt with the aftermath of my depressed state I was supposedly in. He cleared his throat to fill the void of silence.

"Oh shit, yeah sorry I…" He apologized as if he felt the need to. I shook my head and cut him off.

"No, actually you're right. I know exactly how you feel." I admitted.

Well, at least now I do. I found myself thinking the same thing. If I had completed my blunder, maybe Lissa wouldn't be in this mess. As for me? I couldn't say my life would have been anything if Dimitri hadn't come into it. Maybe this was the time I had to let go of the fact that Dimitri was no longer the Dimitri I had fallen in love with, and that he was after all a twisted monster. I had to let go of the fact that my happy ending was never coming, and come to terms with the cards that I had been dealt with.

There was no happy ending that was foreseeable in the near future for me, but at least I could do something for someone else's fairy tale. I had to get Lissa back, and Adrian I _wanted _back. Dimitri, though I loved him, was gone the minute that blonde Strigoi came into my life and destroyed every chance of me having a happily ever after.

Yeah, there was a small possibility that this theory could work its magic. But I can't guarantee that he'll be the same person afterwards. A sacrifice definitely comes with its own victory, and even if that victory wasn't meant for me. I can accept that. What I didn't get was why?

I guess that was part of life's mysteries, you either learn from it or revel in all its luxuries. I was meshed somewhere in between.


	11. Chapter Eleven

_**A/N: **__Okay guys here's the next chapter lol, I know how eager you guys are to read on, because Spirit Bound is out! I was celebrating my birthday the same day as when the book came out so I took a break from writing. Hope its worthy of your time, I seem a little rushed off my toes lately. Please note that the places I have mentioned are either been picked randomly or I just made them up, some might not be as accurate as I don't know much about the US because I come from New Zealand, so please forgive me for my inconsistencies. _

**Disclaimer: **All rights reserved by Richelle Mead. Though, I own my own plot, creativity. No infringement intended, just for fun! 

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

**W**E ARRIVED IN PITTSBURGH SOON after and checked in at the Municipal Local airport around 4am.

Coffee done its job and kept me alert through most of the trip, but all this goose chasing was starting to make me miss a bed. My back was killing me. Technically it was nighttime for the vampire world, but we were currently living by Sydney's schedule, and that meant human time. I mean, I was used to a tight schedule, and living on human time for a fair share of my life, but it felt like I hadn't had a decent sleep since I turned eighteen.

Sydney had our plane tickets prior to boarding and we landed in North Dakota just as sunrise hit, and I started worrying about Christian. He was after all a Moroi, and they couldn't exactly stand sunlight for too long. Though they could walk in it, eventually they would start to feel weak with fatigue just from the glow of its light.

He assured us that he was fine, but I was still worried. We scored us a vehicle on car-hire and stopped in at the local retailer shop to retrieve a few stuff worthy for the mountains. Hitch-Hikerz Rentals was small but was able to cater for the few items we needed to go up there.

The Range Rover was something else, I wanted to own it. It came with a travel map, GPS radio, a first aid travel pack and a few light condiments for the trip. Rental hiking boots proved to be useful and an extra jacket and some gloves was comforting, but Christian was another story. He couldn't seem to get over the fact that we were practically wearing used goods. I rolled my eyes, he could deny it all he wants, but he had some sense of the superficial Royal snob in him. I was just happy to be warm.

We made our way toward North Dakota's capital city: Bismarck, and found ourselves maneuvering through a city of snow. It wasn't too long before we headed in the midst of mountains, and that's when my nerves started kicking in to overdrive. It was starting to rain, making the sun disappear behind the grey clouds.

It was like the world had turned its lights off and abruptly gave way to wet and wild, making it seem more like the afternoon rather than the morning. Christian needed the sun to go away, and it made me think that maybe he was silently doing the rain dance in his head. Me? I was happy to be moving again, but I loved the sun.

It made me yearn for a tropical summer vacation. Christian, looked like he was about to jump out of the window and do a little victory dance in the nude. I guess it was just as well. He needed all the energy he could get, particularly if we were forced to use his magic. Now that the city was out of reach, the air started to feel nippy. Rain soon turned to snow, and it started to feel like I hadn't left Montana at all.

Snow covered the roadway up ahead, almost to the point where it was hard to tell if there was any road to begin with.

The road signs, however, soon gave it away. Having chains on the truck proved to be useful, as we drove through thick sludgy mess. Sooner or later, it looked like we would have to go the rest of the way on foot. Traffic soon piled up as blinking orange lights and road work signs were set for a mile up ahead. I silently cursed as we slowed down to stop in a small pile up of traffic. Orange cones dotted across the roads as we waited.

I was hoping we wouldn't get stuck here for the rest of the way, because we'd definitely be screwed. A ploughman showed up and contradicted my thoughts instantly. Road services were doing their job, waving cones in the rightful directions and we were moving again.

We headed through a restricted area and Sydney got pulled to one side as the road assistant ushered us to stop. She was ordered to show her I.D. and we waited until we were pointed into the rightful direction.

He spoke through his radio for a few seconds and nodded us further down a deserted narrow road. The tints from the vehicle made the outside seem like it was nighttime, but this weather made me think of a beautiful white Christmas.

I let my head fall against the glass and stared absently out the window. Rain and snow mixed together, made me think of a blizzard. The harsh pitter patter of rain crawled over the range rover while the white stuff hit the ground carelessly and my eyes followed every move. I was starting to get frustrated and bored. I straightened up and pursed my lips just as we came up to a tall wrought iron gate. It was a lot like the one we had at the academy. This one had a high voltage sign on the thing as a warning, and a sign saying private property. That meant we were in the right place, hopefully. My stomach started taking on a flip jump with butterflies now.

This was really it. The Moroi prison I've heard so much about.

We stopped just inches from a silver box that greeted us to the left of it, and a few dotted holes to speak in. Kind of like the ones you would see at a drive through. It had a green button with a 'push' sign below it.

Sydney rolled her windows down to lean over and pressed her index finger over the button. It buzzed finally, as a robot-like voice spoke up ordering us to speak firmly into the thing, and say yes when prompted to. It asked questions if we had been through the process of filling papers, appointments and all that. Sydney knew a thing or two, and it was a good thing she was here, because if that were me? I'd be swearing and hitting the god-damned thing for how slow and irritating the voice sounded.

A few seconds later, a man's voice boomed from the little thing and I sighed in relief. All alert and slightly wary as he questioned us further. He put us on hold for a few moments, so Sydney started to fill me in on what was to be expected. I listened with interest.

"Visiting hours is at five in the morning. Or five in the afternoon. No earlier, or no later, and required for half an hour tops. Keep this on at all times." Sydney hung a tag over both mine and Christian's neck. It had a photo of me, and my personal information next to my photo. I raised my eyebrows as I studied the blue tag.

"CTTU…?"

"Counter-terrorism Tactical Unit…it's a secret service that…" I waved my hand to stop Sydney from elaborating.

"Yeah, yeah, but what the hell would we be doing posing as CTTU in a prison?" She shrugged.

"They've had a few terrorist attacks in the area, so I did the math. Plus, Secret Services are in the same frame as Alchemy. Well, in the sense of job description, anyhow. They train to protect a certain secret society without the complications of the outside world mistakenly being meddled in between. They rid of the problem before it becomes a threat. Even-though this is Moroi territory, still, there's a lot of human interaction that comes in place once or twice. CTTU just seemed like a good idea."

My expression must have looked dumbstruck, because all of that didn't seem to make any sense. Plus, this was a Moroi prison. Security worked with Moroi government, CTTU worked with human government. I pegged her with a skeptical stare.

"But doesn't Counter Terrorism work with the _human _government?" I voiced my thoughts out aloud. She had a thoughtful expression to her.

"Yes, and no. Yes in the sense that they help protect government from potential threats. No, because this technically isn't government property per se, but generally speaking, this land is built on government state property. Evidently, both parties have a close relationship and tend to stay out of each others hair in order to remain civilized. So there's usually no questions asked. A win, win in all areas."

I nodded my head absent-mindedly. Sure that had to make sense on some level. I creased my brows.

"But you said so yourself, this is Moroi territory. Human politics don't exist in our world." She cocked her head to the side, making her strawberry blond hair hit the sides of her face.

"That maybe, but you forget that your race live in_ our_ world. Whether you're a vampire or not there's still a legitimate process you have to go through. Take buying this land for instance, in order to make a transaction you need permission from the government. A lease is then signed over to the highest bidder. Though Moroi government may own it, taxes are still intact. Profit in exchange for using state property so to speak. So, whether human or not, there's no avoiding politics. They simply exist to keep things in order. One way or another, we're all tied in together. I guess…we just have to learn to be civilized with one another that's all. Respect thy neighbor if you will."

I raised my tag and studied it further, then looked at her expectantly with my eyebrows raised.

"And you expect us to waltz right in there, without any questions asked? Just by flashing this thing at them? Man, this is starting to sound like a blockbuster hit." Our conversation was cut off from the operator.

"Please, state your name, your social security number and your registration car plate." She did. I noticed the camera shifted toward us, and Sydney held her ID up to it.

"What is the name of the inhabitant you have been appointed with?" Inhabitant? God, they make it sound like some real estate deal here.

"Dashkov. Victor Dashkov." We were put on 'hold' for the third freaking time and we sat back impatiently waiting for the get go. We braced ourselves when the operator gave us access to come in.

There was a buzz and the gate was opened.

We drove up to another gate and we were stopped for a strip search of the car. They were a little skeptical with Christian, but Sydney assured them he was our point guard. We showed our ID's and was nodded and pointed further until a parking lot came into view.

I marveled at the vast section this area had taken on. It had to be three times larger than the Academy, almost as big as the Royal Court, and that was only the administration building plus the parking lot. Having the old Air Base was conveniently useful, when being turned into a prison. The parking lot had been on the lowest level, but further up ahead was just mountains. I spotted a few silo's and windmill towers that lined up further but that was it.

We were IDed again as we entered the vestibule and a couple of black marbled elevators greeted us at the entrance. Men with AK47s stood at every corner, and at every door. God, they looked more like military than plain jail wardens, maybe the uniform was a slight give it away, having adopted the military theme.

They wore light grey army fatigues, black steel cap boots, and square fur hats with a thick tail hanging from it. I guess I shouldn't've looked so surprised. Kind of fitting actually, seeming how this was an old air force base, and because it was a Moroi highly guarded facility, they monitored the area closely. And here I was planning a prison break. Yeah, I guess I was a little crazy myself.

I had heard a lot of rumors about how Moroi prisons were kind of scary. Seeing it with my own eyes, though, made those scary stories seem like fairy tales. It was beyond scary, it was nerve racking actually. I think it was the guns that made me slightly pale faced. I wasn't used to guns, I was more a stake person myself, but I guess they obviously do things differently down here. Sydney told me that the pellets they used were silver bullets that were wielded with Moroi magic too.

It could stun the opponent and the stake will finish its jobs, but Strigoi wasn't the only threat. Apparently terrorist were too, and that's where we come in the picture. Well, we weren't real CTTU agents, as of half an hour ago, but now I was getting a hang of it. At least eyeing their stakes made me a little comforting. The outside world wasn't evolving too much for me to be completely clueless.

We made our way down a narrow corridor and ended up in a ditch of snow and then through an underground vent and I realized we were being escorted through a bunker. Our boots clinked against the metal cage underneath our feet, and it felt like a heater was on, with the warmth from the vents, or maybe that was my claustrophobia talking.

It was just enough width for two people to walk comfortably alongside each other, but I felt almost suffocated under here.

Christian walked close behind me while Sydney took up the left side. The two guards were in front of us; fully equipped with weapons and other gadgets.

We passed a few trenches', which were types of bunkers that consists of a small structure of concrete carved out for protection, partly dug out from the ground. Little window holes poked out from left to right, with machine guns acting as a form of shooting post. Snipers I had guessed.

Trench's like these, able the defending to help protect from any potential hazard that would arise from the outside. This was occupied by three guards at a time and one was at every interval. We came to various cells, but these weren't ones like on TV. No, these were housed quarters, with glass windows strong enough that probably bullets couldn't make it past them.

One of the guards spoke in Russian, and Sydney translated for me. "He says, don't worry about the inhabitants…they cannot see through those glass windows."

I was slightly sketchy about that. They honestly looked like they could see right through it. Wards were wielded to prevent from anyone getting in or out, so that was comforting, but not to the point where I felt completely safe. After all, we were amongst criminals.

I suppose I should fit in just as much, seeming how I was about to do something or rather, concerning a lot of 'criminal activity'. Being underground looked like we had stepped into another world. These quarters looked half civilized, but not to the point where they were privileged, just enough to feel less than comfortable.

A bed, a toilet, a sink, and a small mirror. Some standard items like toothbrushes, toilet paper and linen, and the odd television or radio. Some preferred one from the other. Others tended to have just books and papers. I would have gone for the books, seeming how the reception on TV was just as bad. But they shared the same expression. Almost forlorn. Being in prison would do that I guess.

We turned corner after corner and section after section until we stopped abruptly. The guards that escorted us had turned around and set up post on either side of the double doors. One nodded and spoke in Russian. Sydney nodded and leaned in to my ear.

"Only one can go in." I pursed my lips, and hesitated for a second. I was actually going to see Victor? This was all beginning to seem totally unreal. I couldn't get my head around it. She nudged me in the arm.

"It's alright; we'll be right out here if you need us." I nodded, hoping my nerves would subside.

She replied in their native tongue and the guards pushed a button and the doors were opened. Was it me, or did this place seem hotter than the rest of the area? As if reading my mind, Sydney took my rental jacket and I was silently thanking god I didn't have to wear the thing in there.

I patted down my borrowed Valentino and smiled toward the two guards that waited in front of us. They nodded in some form of greeting and I noticed that all these guys were Dhampirs. I had never seen so many Dhampirs in one setting. In fact, I had heard we were on the brink of extinction, but now I guess they were all hiding in places like here. I went through a set of double doors and then another and instantly, I ended up in a small room with a large window.

This part looked like some kind of interrogation room. It had a table and chair there. I stopped just as I saw Victor sitting in the opposite room. I could see him, but he couldn't see me. I gulped. Seeing him again made a rush of adrenaline file through my body. He looked like he was staring right at me. His jade eyes every bit as deceiving as I could remember. He had obviously aged a few years since being in here too, judging from the several strands of silver lining over his black hair. Like his disease had come back.

I wasn't one to wish evil on anyone, even if he was my worst enemy. But all I could think of was that this man deserved everything he got handed to him. I mentally composed myself and was ushered toward the single door. One of the guards followed me in and pointed to the single door that lead to the room were Victor was being kept. I gave a tight smile and found myself walking through it.

I saw Victor straighten up, like he hadn't expected me to be there. I jumped in my own skin just as the door slammed behind me. I looked back at the window that I once looked in now was a mirror hoping I'll have someone to cheer me on, but that was just me being cautious. Victor cleared his throat making me snap out of my reverie. I turned toward him.

"Rosemarie? What a pleasant surprise..."

He held out his hand in a polite gesture pointing at the chair opposite him. The chair he sat in was bolted to the ground, and the shackles that hung from his wrist, connected to his ankles. He wore a clean ironed jumpsuit in the color of orange. Typical, at least some prisons kept to their formal attire, even if it was a Moroi facility. It was just him and me, and a small table that separated us.

"Please, take a seat…" He reclined his head toward the chair urging me to sit. I leaned on the far wall with my hands crossed over my chest and glared.

"I'm fine right where I am." I said bitterly. I seriously had to work on my self control; after all I was the one here asking for a favor." He smiled, making the few wrinkles crease at his mouth.

"Ah yes, still the Rose I remember. Tell me. What brings you to these beautiful parts of the mountains?"

His eyes seem to scrutinize me, but the poker face he kept on, made even _me_ a little nervous. I realized that this part had been on the other far side of where St. Vladimir Academy was. Though, it was several miles up state, and this part was just as secluded. I'd say we were practically neighbors. I scowled, noticing how he looked as if prison hadn't even fazed him. It was like he was here on vacation. He eyed my I.D. tag that hung from my neck with interest.

"Counter-terrorism. Nice. I thought we had that threat taken care of." He countered. I knew he was trying to get on my nerves. It was working.

"Actually, I came to see how prison was treating you. You know, hoping you would die a happy man." He kept his smile on his face, and it annoyed the hell out of me.

"Is that so? I guess after seeing you, my soul can finally rest in peace." He teased. I gritted my teeth.

"Funny, I wasn't aware you had one." I muttered. He chuckled.

"Oh, how I've missed your hospitable nature. Tell me, how is your love interest by the way? I heard things didn't go too well with the raids, on _his_ part at least. What on earth made him volunteer to join the dark-side?"

I narrowed my eyes. I knew Victor was one to hear about gossip within the Moroi world, and sure he would have known about the attack on St. Vladimir's. In fact, everyone knew about how we had lost a few guardians, and some to the dark side, but suggesting Dimitri did it purposefully? Well that raised a few nerves of my own.

"He did not. Turn by choice!" I bit out. He wasn't at all surprised by my reaction. I _was_, however, surprised that I was defending Dimitri's honor. He held his hands up as if to ward me off. The chains jingled as he done this.

"Oh, my apologies. I guess I just…I didn't think he'd have it in him to be_ forced_ to do anything, that's all. He _was_ after all a talented guardian...though some of us could argue he was a bit more than that…" He stated loftily. I was slightly wary of where he wanted this conversation to go.

"You seem to be taking it well? I know how complicated things must've been between the two of you. Tell me, you two still…" He groped for the words as if to give it more dramatic effect. That was what done it. He pricked the last nerve and I suddenly felt like I couldn't handle this. I jabbed a finger in his face giving him my best death glare.

"You know what? I hope you fucking rot in your cell, for all I care!" I straightened up and turned to the mirror. "I knew I shouldn't've come here." I muttered and waited to be let out. Victor shook his head in mock pride. I could see him trying to get my attention through the mirror.

"Wait! I know you didn't come all this way, just to wish me luck. You want something from me I take it?" I turned around and glared at him.

"And what makes you think I'd want anything from you?" I said in disgust. He shrugged.

"We all want something Rose, whether we can have it or not is the question. There's nothing more appealing than having something we don't have. It's what makes us crude creatures of nature." I gave him a look that said 'you're-outta-your-fucking-mind'.

"Is that what you thought when you used Lissa like you did? You saw something you didn't have because it _appealed_ to you?" He cocked an eyebrow. Not at all fazed at how much damage he had caused by his recent abductions, and what not.

"_Well_, when faced with death? Even the most trivial things begin to look more appealing Rose. Surely even you should understand _that_. Besides, how is that different to what she done for you?" I narrowed my eyes. He had some kind of nerve. Yeah, I was saved from a car accident that I had died from, but Lissa had saved my life unintentionally. Victor abducted and traumatized her and forced her to cure him from his illness. Seriously? He was comparing the two as if it was the same thing? That sick bastard.

"I didn't force her hand! She did it out of free will. You did it out of sick malevolence. Don't confuse the two. Your actions landed you here, you can only blame yourself." I stammered. He gazed off at something behind me.

"You're still a naïve little girl. Don't you get it? With Vasilisa's powers, she has the chance to save us all from the inevitable trap of dying. You're living proof of that." He stated finally. I considered that for a second, but instantly dismissed his frantic delusions.

"There are side effects to her power, she could go crazy. I won't allow that." I said finally. He rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I guess that's the problem. No one allows anything useful. It was the same problem the Royal Court had issues with, but I guess that was what Tatiana intended. The number of guardians already dwindles; making Strigoi numbers inflate by several, and because of that, Moroi are sent in hiding to live in constant fear. I guess I shouldn't've suspected anything otherwise…from her at least." He stated. I blinked in surprise.

"What are you saying? That you're all for Moroi fighting with Magic?"

One thing we did agree on, and that was Moroi being able to protect them selves along-side having guardians protecting them too. If that was what he was implying then I was relieved to know that he was starting to make sense a little bit. I had always known that he was a democratic motivational speaker, but with his recent acts? No one tended to take him seriously. In fact, I even once considered that he would make some kind of worthy King, but Lissa's traumatizing event had trumped that idea, and was now placed with this urge to keep him here, where he belonged. He continued.

"I'm saying, she should rethink her options. If Moroi could use their magic freely, maybe Strigoi wouldn't have free range of their victims. With Lissa's healing abilities and others, imagine what we could do…our race could be invincible, no matter the consequences." Okay, so maybe he had something here, but invincible? Now he was sounding like a Strigoi.

"No matter the consequences? So you don't care if they fall victim to any mental disorders? How is that fair? How is that changing for the better?" He shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't care.

"To be honest? Mental disorders are for the weak. You have a weak mind, you fall victim to it. It's a select course of nature." He stated bitterly.

"Maybe your _brother_ might detest to that…" Victor pegged a level stare on me. I held his stare as long as he could take it and then his eyes narrowed slightly. I smiled inwardly, knowing I had him where I wanted him.

"That's none of your business…" He said almost as calm as he looked. But I knew better, and I was waiting until he would call my bluff. I almost smiled.

"Oh? Isn't he a victim of this select course of nature you seem so bitter about?" He didn't answer, he just sat there staring. I egged him on further.

"The simple answer would be a yes or no. Isn't he the reason you transferred here?" He chuckled a little and cocked his head to the side.

"Clever of you. I didn't know you were in the running to be America's next top lawyer. But what makes you think I'll tell you anything Rosemarie? You have nothing I want." I scoffed.

"This coming from someone who is locked away in prison? You said so yourself, we all want something, and quite frankly, I'd like to see you rot in here. With the likes of you and your disease coming back, I see that won't be for too long. But unfortunately I need your help." He smiled, probably happy to have the tables turned in his favor. His eyes gave me a once over.

"And what makes you think I'd consider helping the likes of you?" I shrugged.

"Because, you've never turned down anything, unless you couldn't get something out of it." He reclined his head for me to keep going. I pursed my lips.

"I'll make you a deal. You tell me where your brother is, and I'll do my very best at getting you out of here." He laughed. Down right stupidly and I started to get annoyed.

"What's so funny?" I demanded. He shook his head and bit down on his lip to keep from laughing any further. He cocked his head to the side.

"Oh, you were serious." He realized but his smile never wavered. He cleared his throat as if he didn't trust himself to keep his mouth sealed. "I didn't know that was in your job description. What makes you think I'd accept it?" I shrugged.

"Your freedom of will. It's what you want isn't it?" He shook his head.

"Even if you could pull something like that off, it still won't help me become a respected democrat. They'd see me no more than a con. Again, you have nothing I want." I silently cussed. Damn him! I wasn't planning on going anywhere empty handed. I pursed my lips in anticipation knowing that my half hour was nearly up. I grimaced as the thought of giving into the likes of him dawned on me.

"Fine! This was a waste of fricking time." I muttered.

"On the contrary…there _is _something you can help me with, to accommodate for the loss of time." He suggested. My brows lifted in some sort of agreement.

"Go ahead, I'm already beyond desperate, seeming how I'm still here." I said nonchalantly.

"You were right you know…?" He murmured. I decided to listen in.

"About what?"

"The disease…coming back…" I rolled my eyes. That was obvious.

"And that helps me how?" He shrugged.

"You give Vasilisa my best regards, and I'll help you with anything you want." Wait! Is that what he wanted all along? Lissa to cure his diseased state again? I wasn't about to put my best friend in the likes of him again. Hell No!

"No fucking way! I'm not that desperate." I dismissed the idea instantly.

"Very well, I _would_ see you out…but I've got my hands tied." He gave me one last smirk for old times sake and stood up and nodded at the mirror. A buzzing noise sounded and a couple of guards came in taking up opposite sides of him. He smiled. "You have a good day now Rosemarie."

"Fuck…I can't believe I'm about to do this." I muttered to myself. I pegged a glare on the nape of his neck, as he was about to get escorted out. I mentally punched myself. I didn't know it was going to come down to this, and I certainly felt like a dirty wench that I was putting Lissa life on the line, for my own selfish reasons. Accepting it was downright dirty, but that didn't mean I had to return the favor. I took a leap into the pit of my death and nodded.

"Fine! I'll do it! Just tell me where!" I bit out just before the doors were closed. Victor paused and swung his head in my direction and smiled in triumph.

"Fargo. Prairie St. Johns." He winked. "I trust you will live up to your end of the deal, don't forget I have connections too." He disappeared and I was escorted back to where Sydney and Christian were. We were sent on our way back to the parking lot where the range rover sat and I sighed in exasperation.

"Where to now?" Sydney spoke up finally. I shrugged and mumbled "Fargo" like I was forced to speak.

"Well…did you get what you came here for? Are we breaking him out or some shit like that?" Christian asked a few moments later. I had almost forgotten that I had company and that we were moving again when I snapped out of my dazed state. I looked Christian in the eye and gave him an apologetic look.

"Yeah, I got what I came here for, and he'll get what's coming to him." I said and closed my eyes to let my head rest against the chair. It was a lame excuse to cut off any interaction or commentary on my part. I couldn't tell him that I had practically put his girlfriend into Victor's hands for him to wipe his dirt on her freely. I felt dirty all of a sudden and I wanted to scrub myself from all this regret. I had to work my hardest in order to get Lissa out of this mess I had put her in. Hopefully I didn't need to, but I was completely aware of Victor's connections. He probably had the world on his side at this point. And we all knew that this was a small world after all, but why? In this given moment did I feel just as little?

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_**A/N: **__Here's a few questions I can answer for those anonymous reviwers. FYI, If you want answers it would be a lot helpful if you sign in to fanfic. _

_FAQ:_

_Did Richelle Mead write this or is it your own version because her website says something TOTALLY DIFFERENT?_ No Richelle Mead did NOT write this and YES it is my own version, so it's obvious that both would be totally different. Two different people, two different stories. One being a professional, the other being me lmfao. I doubt Richelle Mead would muck around on Fanfic, besides there's a legal process to do that to avoid being mistakenly meddled between the two. I appreciate the compliments though but I'll hate for Richelle Mead to be compared to my work, only because she's an awesome writer and I'm just below average lol

_Does this happen in the real book? _No, events and situations that take place in my fanfic does NOT happen in the real book. It's just pieces of my imagination that I choose to share with you guys for fun, if so, I assure you it would be purely coincidental. 

_Are these copies from the real book?_ No, these are NOT copies from the real book. I'm sorry to say I'm just a fandom wannabe who happens to write different circumstances for Richelle Mead's characters to live in. I'm just as eager as you guys to read it. But I'll finish this before I open the book to read. (I hope that helped with all your questions!_)_


	12. Chapter Twelve

_**A/N: **__Okay this is the last chapter I wrote before I read Spirit Bound. I'm in a little predicament atm, because I feel that if I decide to carry this fanfic on, it would be slightly tedious to do so, only because there's no need to write a 'spirit bound what if' story anymore…ugh! And I'm in a little funk at the moment too...with Dimitri, I just, I duno...if you read the **Spirit Bound,** you'll know what im talking about...its interfering with my fanfic ideas lmfao...I'm in a Spirit Bound depression so to speak haha! So in the meantime I'll leave you with this chapter and just let me know if you want the rest and I'll change my fanfic to alternative universe or something…that's only if you guys want to read on, but in my opinion, It'll be better if I canned this altogether…personally? You should go out and buy Spirit Bound by Richelle Mead if you haven't already (surprising if you havent lol) It's worth your money, time and nail biting! I swear to the Dimitri Gods! lmfao _

**Disclaimer: **Richelle Mead owns everything. Enough said.

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**Chapter Twelve**

**H**IS LIPS WERE DEMANDING; probing my neck as I buried my face in his hair, panting.

Thick waves of heat sliced up the nape of my neck as his fingers skimmed across my _molnija _marks as if they were getting their own show too. I was feverish and I was under his spell. Sweat licked between his chest and mine as his tongue ran over my lips like an animal claiming and savoring its meal. Tasting and licking until I was so high I was completely lost to his ecstasy.

His hands roamed my body carelessly as I melted under his touch. It was a fight for dominance and he allowed me to take charge once or twice. His lips explored my chest making me arch toward him and I groaned in pleasure. Happy to have no space between us, and intertwined by the silky, hard caress of his skin.

Sensational waves soon boiled me over as I tumbled to his chest in defeat. He had me, torn between love and hate and he never let me go.

I stole one last kiss on his lips and then rolled off to settle on my back. He tucked me by his sides to claim me.

"Roza…you taste almost too good to be true." He panted, making my senses scream for air. He turned over on to his sides and licked my neck as if to seal my wound up and I realized he had bitten me. I marveled at his body, as we wrapped up together, intangible words having been left in the air. My heart struggled to slow its pace and I fought to keep my eyes open.

Sleep was determined to take me under, but I refused to take my eyes off him. I shook my head and smiled up to his eyes, dazed out from his bite.

His red-rimmed pupils glowed like rubies, with lashes that skimmed against his cheekbones when he blinked. His smile was a stunner, as I searched his face for any emotions other than the simple fact that I knew he loved me.

His eyes met mine and in that moment. I was lost. Lost in his soul, searching to find peace. I found him. He was there. My Dimitri was there and that was all that mattered. He kissed me on the top of my head and breathed out one big sigh.

"Roza…?" I winced at his reluctant tone. He settled back on his back and looked up at the ceiling. I shifted so I can see him better.

"Hmm…?" I grunted in response. He smiled showing his fangs and glanced over at me with slit eyes.

"You know what I have to do now don't you?" I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head.

"Dimitri…? You're not…but you said you're not going to…" I froze and bugged my eyes out in fear. He bared his fangs and let his tongue run across them like he just saw the juiciest meat on the menu. He hissed.

"I'm sorry Rose, but I have no choice but to turn you." I shook my head and scuttled away.

"But why…? You said you didn't want to hurt me…" He cocked his head to the side.

"Well, now I'm hungry!" He urged closer. I mirrored his move and moved farther away.

"Rose! I'm hungry!" He barked and I wanted to scream when I felt someone shake me. I jumped instead and struggled to get a visual. I blinked again and I saw Christian. I sighed in relief. Two nightmares in less than a day? I was definitely losing it.

"Rose I'm hungry…" Christian voiced his thoughts out aloud. I groaned and rubbed my eyes. Sleeping on the way to Fargo wasn't helping my nerves or my mind. I was happy to know that I was dreaming. Though, I was somehow disappointed at the fact that I had a sex dream of a Strigoi, and a good one. I grimaced and shook my thoughts off to hide them at the back of my mind. I rolled my eyes at Christian.

"What am I…your mother?" I said earnestly. He shook his head and gave me a look that said 'you-know-exactly-what-I'm-talking-about'. I frowned.

"I'm like,_ hungry_…hungry…" He said with a weird look in his eyes. I rolled my eyes. He was _always hungry_, hungry. Just like me.

"We just ate a few hours ago. Can't you wait until Fargo? It's like literally twenty minutes away…" He shook his head and I grunted.

"_Rose…_I'm not that kind of hungry…I need the other…thing…" He cleared his throat as if trying to sound nonchalant in front of Sydney then hit me in the arm. "—you know what I'm talking about, quit playing." He whispered. I looked at him as he cocked his head to the side as if to say' you-know-that-thing?' I straightened up as realization kicked in.

"Shit…!" I muttered to myself and looked at Sydney and then back to Christian. "—well, you'll just have to wait…just until we…" What exactly? Stop into a drive through and order a feeder-on-the-go? Now I realized why Christian had been acting all weird just a minute ago. He needed blood, and by the look on his pale face, he needed it ASAP. I hadn't thought this thing through. Well, of course I hadn't, I kind of got thrown in at the last minute, but taking a Moroi would mean they would eventually need to feed. We had humans as feeders to do this, but on the road with just the three of us; one being a religious bigot human, the other being me. Well, Christian had two options. Beg for blood, or go on a famine. I was reluctant to risk either.

"Can't you hold it for a little while? Just until we…" He shook his head in disappointment.

"Rose, you know I can't hold it for that long, I've already gone without it for three days." I slightly gasped.

"Three days! We've barely been gone for less than 48hrs!" I chastised. He shrugged.

"Well, I haven't been in the mood to…take care of things, I was..." I threw my hands up in exasperation.

"Being stupid! That's what you were doing! Sydney? Stop in over here by the gas station." She pulled over at the BP and I got out the passenger side and went to where Christian sat. I pulled open his door and grabbed him by the jacket. I was a little forceful, but I didn't care. His expression was astonished to say the least.

"What are you doing?" He shrieked as I dragged him out. He eyed my firm grip on his jacket.

"You said you were hungry so…lets go eat!" I muttered in his ear and yanked him toward the gas station toilets. He followed reluctantly. I think my expression must have shocked him or maybe it was my strength, I wasn't too sure. I followed him in the toilet and an old hillbilly man was sitting outside the door smoking a cigarette. I muttered a few harsh words concerning the fact that he was practically committing a murder by smoking at a gas station, but he just smiled up at Christian and nodded.

"You kids don't break anything in there." He said in a Southie accent and winked. I shuddered and slammed the door behind me. Christian chuckled and pointed toward the door.

"You know that guy thought we were going to…_you know_…?" I knew exactly what that guy was implying the freak, but I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, let's just hope _you _didn't get your hopes up." That wiped the smirk off his face. I skimmed my hair out of the way of my neck and urged him to hurry. He just stood there, glaring.

"Rose, I didn't mean _you _had to do it…" I gave him a look that said otherwise.

"Sorry but this is your only option." I said finally. He stood there with a bemused expression.

"But…" I waved a hand in his face.

"Christian, hurry the hell up, we don't have all day!" He cleared his throat and suddenly felt more than uncomfortable. I grumbled. "—just don't think about it, and I'll do my best to do the same." I said to reassure him. He had a skeptical expression on his face.

It wasn't as though it was my first time giving myself up for blood. Back when Christian had been attacked from Psi-hounds, I had offered my vein to Lissa again for him to survive. Surely this counted as some kind of survival tactic. I hurried him closer and he angled his head so he could get in a better position. His lips brushed my neck and I tried to hide my wince. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping I wouldn't feel anything. After a few moments I peeled my eye open to see Christian hesitating.

"_Rose, _you clearly don't want to do this...how about I hold on for a while and just..." I twisted the front of his shirt and yanked him closer.

"Christian, so help me god you better fricking feed or I'll..." He held up his hands in defeat.

"Fine! Just...look that way and don't...move." I rolled my eyes. In a few seconds, I felt his fangs pierce through my skin and a slight groan slipped out of my mouth. He caught me to steady me, while I felt greedy pulls getting sucked out of me. I felt hazy and then pure endorphins released and I gave my self up to the toxic feeling of the bite. I hadn't had this in ages, and feeling it now, made me think of the days Lissa had lived off my vein. I had fed her at least every two days or so when we lived out on our own.

One of my happiest days in my past. Now, remembering what I went through when Dimitri had taken my vein made me shudder. I instantly shrugged my feelings off and tried to think positive. This was a necessity and Christian's only option.

I managed to block out everything and just focus on what he needed. I was doing this for his health. It must have been a few minutes but it felt like hours until he finished. He retracted his fangs and pulled away from me, letting his back of his hand wipe away any residue from his lips.

He had an apologetic look on his face, but the color had made him look flustered. He wrapped my arm over his shoulders so I could lean my weight on him. I could feel a little blood trickle down my neck but he wiped it with a tissue.

"Rose? You don't…look too good." I scoffed still caught up in a hazed faze. I did feel a little lightheaded though. I gave him a side-glance through slit eyes with a small smile on my face.

"You're one to talk…" I teased but it must've sounded like one big slur. He shook his head with his signature smirk on his face.

"Come on. Let's get you outta here." He covered my wound with my hair and led me out of the bathroom. I noticed the hillbilly guy had a beaming smile on his face, showing just how little teeth he had, and if I could? I would have shoved my foot in his mouth and caused him to lose more of them, for the fact that he was being such a perv.

Christian settled me in the car, and we were on our way. Sydney had a wary expression on her face as she drove off, and every second, she managed to keep her hand over her crucifix that hung at her neck. Always stealing a glance at me, and then back on the road. I wanted to reassure her that I was okay, but I doubt that would keep her at ease. She knew exactly what Christian had been hungry for, but she refused to speak a word of it. The rest of the ride was quiet so I decided to check in on Lissa.

_Rose…? Are you with me?_ I flinched just as I sensed Lissa through the bond. I slipped into her head. Lissa had been awake and aware of her surroundings. I was disappointed to say that I wasn't. Though, I still had a fair idea of where she was, but things seemed a little hazy. Almost like I was seeing double. I blinked furiously and through Lissa's eyes I saw bed rock walls the color of ocher, and a little opening big enough to fit a body through it, if you happened to crawl through. I was sure I had seen this place before, I was sure of it.

I frowned as I saw a familiar woman setting up a tray of food next to Lissa's head. It was that human girl I had seen at St. Vlad's, the same one who I thought was a hall matron. Her honey colored hair was pinned up in a chignon and hoop earrings hung from her ears. She wore a tight maroon knit-wear dress with black knee high boots and tights. She smiled toward Lissa as she let one of her hands loose from the silver cuff that restrained her to the bed. The woman gave her a plate of food and urged her to eat it. Lissa decided to shuffle the food around on her plate, refusing to eat it. She looked at the girl, studying her cautiously.

"What's your name?" Lissa asked the woman finally. This caught her off guard and she jumped a little. The human's expression seemed wary she didn't answer, so Lissa pushed further.

"Do. You. Speak. English?" Apparently not being able to speak English automatically made you a retard. Well, Lissa had done this unintentionally, or at least, that's what she was implying by her speech. I wanted to hit her and laugh at the same time. The woman kept her impassive expression on her face and pushed the plate further toward Lissa to allow her to eat. Lissa rolled her eyes and started to pick at the plate with her fork absent-mindedly.

She looked around the place she had been held captive in. I was relieved to know that she was casing the place like a guardian would. Getting familiar with her surroundings while distracting the hostess. I was proud of her. And through her vision I managed to see further down the opening and it looked like some kind of tunnel. The woman clicked her fingers in front of Lissa to get her attention. It felt like she was snapping them in my front view. I hated that. There was nothing irritating more than having someone snap their fingers in your face. Lissa apparently had this same thought and grew agitated and stabbed her fork into a potato and glared at her.

"I'm not a dog you know…there's no need to snap your fingers." The woman grunted.

"Princess, please eat your food!" She spoke politely with a slither of an accent. Lissa was surprised she had spoken at all. And in English too. She nodded at Lissa's food for her to eat up, so Lissa complied by stuffing a potato in her mouth just to keep the woman talking. She chewed away at her food covering her mouth while she done this. After she swallowed a bite or two, she cocked her head to the side as she studied the woman further.

"You know, you're too pretty to be doing something like this…" Lissa said to her. I had come to this conclusion too. She was pretty, and I realized she looked no older than Lissa and me. She had to be twenty one at least. The girl smiled a little and shook her head.

"I have no choice_ but_ to do this." She said finally. Lissa and I froze. No choice? Humans had a choice whether they become a slave for a Strigoi or not. Especially when having the chance for immortality. Usually they were in it for the long run. Lissa furrowed her eyebrows.

"What do you mean by that? Did he force you to be here?" She shook her head.

"I'm sorry, I've said too much already." She gathered up the empty tray and tried to scurry away but Lissa caught her by the wrist. The woman froze.

"No wait! Don't go!" Lissa pleaded. The girl looked back at Lissa then averted her eyes to where Lissa had a firm grip on her wrist.

"Princess…please let me go." She said and Lissa reluctantly let her go.

"Lissa, call me Lissa." The girl bowed in courtesy.

"Mariya." She returned the introduction. Lissa smiled.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you away Mariya, I just, well…you understand what I'm going through then…?" She nodded and I had the small sense that Lissa was using her compulsion.

"Did he force you to be here?" She nodded and a sad look passed across her face.

"He promised me it'll be worth my while. Said if I wanted my father to live, I had to come with him."

"Where did he take you? Where are we?"

"I told you not to talk to her!" Both Lissa and Mariya jumped in their skin, and so did I. Lissa turned toward the threatening voice. Dimitri stood at the far wall across from Lissa and his red-rimmed pupils glared in anger. I was reminded of the monster side of him. He wore his brown duster jacket and black jeans with steel caps. His hair was tied back and the few strands that refused to stay in it fell to the side of his face. Lissa and Mariya froze.

"I'm sorry, I…" Mariya didn't have the right words to apologize until Dimitri spoke in Russian. Mariya's hand went to her neck and shook her head as the answer. She replied in his native tongue and it sounded a lot like an apology. Dimitri pointed to the open hole.

"Get out!" He ordered her and just like that, Mariya scurried out of there like an animal with its tail between its legs. Lissa dropped her fork and moved a little until her back met with the wall. Dimitri urged closer. He looked at the full plate of food and glared at her.

"Why aren't you eating?" He demanded. Lissa struggled to pick her fork back up from all the shaking her nerves had taken to. Dimitri had settled himself at the edge of the bed, well what passed for being a bed, and put the plate near her lap.

"It's still hot, and I assure you there's nothing wrong with it." Lissa reluctantly stabbed her fork into the cut meat and raised it to her mouth. She ate in silence while she watched Dimitri rub at his eyes. He must have been fresh from a kill. I shuddered at the thought. Apparently the silence in the room made Lissa's nerves calm a little. Lissa decided to fill the void.

"You know I didn't believe Rose when she said you loved her too." I froze. And a shadow passed in Dimitri's eyes with the mention of my name. He gave her a side glance and narrowed his eyes. He didn't say anything though, and Lissa was more than happy to carry on the conversation without his input. She shrugged and started making circles with her fork and the peas.

"I mean, I knew she was crushing on you, but I didn't think it would have gone as far as it did. But then when I recall how you looked at her sometimes? Well, I could tell it wasn't like an instructor should be looking at their student like that. Then at the masquerade ball, I saw you holding her and I knew you had it bad for her." He creased his eyebrows in annoyance.

"What makes you think I still do?" She smiled a little and gave a subtle shrug.

"Because…I'm still alive…you wouldn't hurt me, because you know it will hurt Rose. This just proves it." She held the plate of food that she had eaten, leaving behind the green peas.

Dimitri snatched the plate and fork off her and put it back on the tray. Then he went to work with the cuffs and restrained her again. Lissa's words apparently made him agitated. Silence again and she watched him pace from corner to corner as if he were lost in thought.

"I used to like you before, I mean, you helped Rose become a better person, but now I kind of despise you." She said in disgust. Lissa wasn't one to be blunt, but I could feel a little anger roil in her as well as jealousy? He chuckled a little.

"I guess I'm doing something right then?" She shook her head and through the bond, I could feel her thoughts. She was pissed off at him and glared.

"You know she chose you right?" Dimitri paused in his tracks and met her glare. I wanted to tell Lissa to stop pushing him on the subject, but this was getting interesting.

"What are you talking about?" His eyes gleaming, waiting for an answer. She shrugged.

"Last semester when she left school to find you, I gave her an ultimatum, and she chose you." I winced. Lissa had said she was over that, and I felt guilty because I did chose him, but being back in school made me realize who was more important. And that was Lissa.

"Why are you telling me this?" He demanded.

"I guess I'm saying that maybe I'm the wrong person for the job. She loves me, but it'll take more than me to get through to Rose. She won't be stupid enough to come alone…I'm just saying."

"Yeah well, maybe sending Ivashkov in a body bag might get the message across loud and clear." Lissa gasped and covered her mouth.

"You don't mean that…?" Dimitri dodged the question and had a thermal in his hands and shoved it at Lissa.

"Drink this!" He demanded and Lissa reluctantly took it from him. She peered in the cup and thick scarlet liquid filled half of it. Before she could ask, he cut her off.

"It's pure sustenance that's all." She didn't seem to take that into account. She hesitated and wrinkled her nose.

"Thanks, no offence, but it looks disgusting." She grimaced and shoved it back in Dimitri's face. He growled low in his throat and disappeared for a second, coming back with Mariya. He shoved her a little toward Lissa, ignoring the protesting under his grip.

"Use her!" Lissa bugged her eyes and shook her head.

"I…I…No I can't…!" She stuttered. He frowned.

"That wasn't a question!" Dimitri barked and forced Mariya to sit next to Lissa. "Now drink!" He demanded. Lissa gave one quick look at Mariya with sorrow and then she leaned in, angling her neck to her. Her apologetic look on her face made her feel sick to her stomach because she didn't want to hurt anyone. Mariya's eyes expanded just as Lissa fit into the nook of her neck to brush her lips on Mariya's vein.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered and Lissa's fangs came out to play. After she was done feeding, Dimitri yanked the girl away and starting talking in Russian. Then he turned to Lissa.

"Next time I catch you talking with her, I'll make sure you'll regret it." He threatened and disappeared out of there. Lissa felt the urge to throw something at him or scream her lungs out. I could feel her eyes water as if she were resisting the need to lose it. I felt for her and it killed me to see her like that. _Don't worry Liss, I'm gonna get you out. _I slipped back in my own skin and felt almost saddened.

Sydney announced our arrival in Fargo, and we stopped in front of a small sign: Prairies St. John's Psychiatric Unit. The endorphins from Christians bite had surpassed and I felt like my head was screwed on in all the right places. The reception looked like a small clinic, but I guessed there was more of it down the narrow hallway.

Sydney checked us in with a little influencing and apparently her Alchemy status went along way. This was a human psychiatric ward so I was kind of weirded out on going any further. We were appointed to Ward 46 and told to go in one at a time.

I went in first and hid my shock from the man sitting before me with his back turned. His hair was platinum blonde, and he was in a straight-jacket. The doctor assured me that this was safety procedure in order to protect the patient from themselves and the visitor from potential hazards.

I wasn't one for stereotypes, but this guy didn't look crazy at all. In fact, he seemed content if anything. He was staring out the large window of his room and I was sure he was aware of my presence. He was chuckling to himself. He sniffed the air.

"Ahh…you're one of those ones are you?" He said in a low hoarse tone. By those ones, I hoped it wasn't something I would regret.

"Excuse me?" He scoffed.

"I don't suppose you're here to check me out are you?" I shook my head and made my way gingerly toward him.

This room was covered with white on white all around. A huge window opposite to the door that looked out to a manicured garden. The glass must have been made out of that plastic fiber, while a bed and nightstand occupied the right side of the entrance. There was a seat just inches to the side of him. I creased my eyebrows as a thought came to mind. He could talk reasonably well, not at all what I expected. I made myself comfortable and sitting here gave me a good view of his face.

He refused to look at me, however, and I started thinking what in the hell should I talk about here? He had a sly smirk on his face, a lot like Victors, but he appeared to resemble nothing more than the fact that they shared the same jade eyes.

He was a lot younger than Victor, maybe late thirties or so, but a few wrinkles claimed his face from reasons I presumed was from being kept in this place. His platinum blonde hair reminded me of Lissa's but his was mussed in a way like he hadn't cared for it in years. Other than that, I wouldn't have guessed both he and Victor where even related. Though the tall, skinny frame of his body was one of a Moroi. I cocked my head to the side to look at him better.

"No, but my name is Rose…I'm a friend of your brothers." Well, labeling Victor as a 'friend' was a complete exaggeration. But I couldn't exactly say that he was my sworn enemy. That wouldn't go particularly well on my part. He blinked furiously and shook his head.

"It serves them right! No one can escape from them. It's the devils tongue that slips in your ear, and refuses to give you what you want...one minute they say they're here to help, the next they leave you, or shove you in a place like this." Okay maybe he was a little crazy, and devils? The only devil I was aware of in my world? We called them Strigoi.

"Is that what they're telling you?" I don't know why I felt the need to encourage his banter, but I guess that was my only option to keep him talking. He shook his head in disgust.

"No…it's what they're forcing us all to do. Once you refuse, you'll be damned to hell for the rest of eternity. You're going to regret it too…you know?" He turned to me and pinned his eyes on me with a flare to them. I resisted the urge to gasp. His stare was powerful, and somewhat freaky. I shook my gaze and focused on the jacket he wore.

"Regret what?" I asked finally.

"Don't listen to him, he's a little jealous that I got ice-cream for breakfast." Well if that wasn't a change of tone or subject then I don't know what it was.

"Ah…" I was confused all of a sudden. "Robert? Who are you talking to?" I asked as I noticed he was whispering to the right side of him, as if someone were there. He shook his head and went to staring back out the window. I was starting to feel a little light-headed. I starting rubbing at my temples and I was sure I could see a little kid standing next to him. Translucent as a ghost and I shuddered. I shook my head and the vision disappeared. I grunted. Maybe I was destined to be in here with him? I was definitely losing it.

I stood up and walked around the room trying to make out what I was dealing with here. I mean the nurse had said he was suffering from a severe mental illness but she didn't slip into details, or maybe she did, I just happened to be not listening. I reached for his chart and looked it over. It stated he was a schizophrenic, and suffered from multiple personality disorder. It didn't even state that he was a spirit user, or a Moroi. Figured. They'd come to the conclusion of him being crazy. I bet they probably didn't even know they were dealing with a vampire. And I can only imagine what they would be saying if Robert were to convince them that he was one. I wasn't aware that he had been a Schizophrenic? Maybe…Chronically depressed or whatever but that? No.

God humans will do anything to give a technical term for being crazy. Even if this was a place to treat illnesses, sometimes I wondered if they were the cause of it. After all, Robert Duro was a spirit user, and the few side affects were similar to what he was experiencing now. Their living in complete oblivion doesn't make our race non-existent. But apparently Robert Duro had lost his screws trying his hardest to convince them. Maybe he aught to be somewhere safer than a human ward, where Moroi like him, are prone to being lab rats for human evolution.

"You'd set them straight will you? We all need to set them straight." I was snapped out of my reverie and frowned.

"Who? Set who straight?"

"The devils flame, they're going to throw us in the pit and turn us into dust, we can't let them."

"I believe you, and if you want my help, then you're gonna have to listen up."

"You do? You believe me?" I nodded.

"I'm going to get you out, but you have to help me in return…this devil, what does it look like?"

"Red eyes, sharp teeth, cold and evil. They take you when you least expect it." I never thought I'd say this, but this kind of crazy, was starting to feel really normal to me. He was obviously referring to a Strigoi. How the hell did he end up in a place like this anyhow?

"Have you seen this devil?" I asked finally. He smiled in that weird way Moroi do when they're trying to hide their fangs.

"Many times…but they're fast. They can see you when no one is looking. They can hear you when no ones listening. The devils wake is their sanctuary." I didn't know what to make of that, but somehow I knew I was getting somewhere with this Robert Duro.

"Would you help me find the devil?" He shook his head.

"It doesn't matter, they'll find you first."

"What if I want to save the devil? Is there a possibility to save them?" He nodded, surprised that I was coming to an understanding with him. I was surprised too. He spoke a few words in Russian and I struggled to find any understanding. He smiled at me showing his fangs.

"I don't understand" I said finally. He pegged a level stare on me.

"The Spirit that dwells within will awaken its holy grail." He decided that our conversation was over. I didn't however. I grabbed his arm and urged him to stand up.

"I need you to explain further. You're coming with me." I peered out of the corridor and told a nurse that we would like to go for a walk in the gardens. They allowed this for exercise and for the patient's health. She released the buckles to his straight-jacket and replaced it with a long winter jacket. I held him by the arm and escorted him outside. I flipped open the cell that Adrian left me with and told Sydney to come around to the back. I could see the workers parking lot and I told Sydney I'll be there. She showed up and I shoved Robert in the back of the car with me, letting Christian in the front. Sydney felt more than uncomfortable. Now there were too many vampires occupying her small car. Robert turned to look at me.

"He's closer than you think…" I frowned.

"Who?"

"The one you're seeking, he'll let you find him…his soul isn't far gone, but if you hurry, you can save him." Okay this guy was starting to grow on me, and if he was saying what I think he was, then he knew the whereabouts of DImitri. I urged him to carry on.

"Robert...? Do you know where I should be going?" His expression fell wistful and nodded slowly. He pegged a level stare on me.

"Where his soul was taken, he'll try to take another." He stated and then went to gazing out into nothingness. Almost like he was lost in some kind of trance. I was silently hoping there was some sort of handbook for the banter this guy was taking on, and I wouldn't have minded a personal translator for 'crazy language', but if he was implying what I think he was? Then I'd guess he meant that Dimitri would be in the same place where he was awakened. When I'd learned the frightening nightmare of when Dimitri was captured by the blonde strigoi Nathan. And if that theory proved to be true? Then he was underground, at the cave where I learned that my Dimitri had been lost. My heart started thudding in my chest as realization kicked in and turned to Christian.

"I think I know where Lissa is…" I said finally.

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**Dont forget to vote on my poll on 'what you think of SPIRIT BOUND book' on my profile...thanks and review! lol Oh and don't forget to flick over to my version of Last Sacrifice...**

**(Final Decree 'Last Sacrifice Fanfiction) The first chapter is already up! Tell me what you think of that too ;)**


	13. Chapter Thirteen

_**A/N: **__Okay sorry for the late one guys, I haven't had the money to top up my internet USB, so to make up for it, I gave you a very very long longer chapter to ponder over. This is going to be an alternative ending for Spirit Bound. We all know how it ended in Richelle Mead's world (although she left it at a cliffie), in fact, believe it or not my plot was almost identical to Meads one (though I never thought to do that to the queen) In saying that, I've mixed up my ending a bit in order to make it an alternative ending. It was the only way I could find my muse to finish this. Hope I haven't disappointed too many people; I'll try my best to carry this story to a well deserved conclusion. I just wish I had the confidence and talent that you guys give me credit for. _

_So I Dedicate this to: _

_My Awesome Reviewers. _

_Thanks for your continued support. Your time and enthusiasm knows no bounds._

**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own VA Series, or any of it's characters, and unfortunately I am NOT Richelle Mead. She's the mastermind behind this awesome series if you didn't already know. NO copyright Infringement Intended, it's just for fanfiction purpose only. NO profit is made from this material.

**Warning: **This content contains some sexual scenes that may offend some people. I strongly advise discretion. It can get a little heated in this chapter lol so kids don't read on if you think you shouldn't (I don't wanna get in trouble with the rents).

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**Chapter Thirteen**

THE PLANE RIDE TO MONTANA was a little nerve racking.

My heart rate refused to calm down. It's like it had its own frantic beat as soon as I learned where Dimitri could be. All my feelings toppled over and scrambled. My hands became disgustingly sweaty, I had butterflies that I couldn't explain, and I was a hundred percent sure it wasn't because I was afraid of flying. I was afraid of what the outcome would be. _This was it, this was really it! _My mind kept saying.

After months of searching for answers, I was finally at the peak of succession. I'd put myself in enough heart ache to have my plans tumble to the ground, so I mentally hoped it wouldn't fail. Though I admit, I'd put my head in the clouds for too long to have myself believe that anything 'happy' was going to come of it, still it was something.

With months and months of trying to file my happily ever after dream away, I'd summoned it up again. I started thinking about what it would be like for Dimitri to be the lover I knew him to be. I started fantasizing about our future, and what would become of it.

Yeah, it would be the biggest scandal of the year, since Dhampirs—guardians for that matter—weren't suppose to take off and fall in love with each other when all they lived for were protecting Moroi. But in my fantasies? Scandals weren't invited. Forbidden romance was not welcome and like Romeo and Juliet? Family feuds weren't going to separate us. No, in my happily ever after? All that existed was me and Dimitri. Dimitri and I. Both would be where we were supposed to be. In each others arms living in a peaceful world in this life and the next.

_My fantasy._

_A_ fantasy_._

That was just that. I squeezed my eyes shut as soon as a picture of Lissa floated in my head. My head came back down to reality. _Lissa and Adrian need you more._ My reason of thoughts summoned up. As much as I wanted to protest about my life and how unfair it was to never get a shot at a normal life, I wasn't going to be selfish this time. No, I'd done that, and it didn't get me so far. I had to think of my friends.

I had to erase the antagonist out of the equation. This was what I had to do. I was going in to get my friends back. Adrian and Lissa. They were the ones that were living. They were the ones that I had to save more than the fairy tale lover that I'd led myself to believe was alive. Dimitri was after all a Strigoi. There was no helping him out of that.

Yeah, I had my 'alternative' sitting next to me: Robert Duro. And even if his plan did work? I wasn't going to get my hopes up. Robert Duro's little jargon was probably just that, irrelevant nonsense. Though I believed him in some sense didn't I? We were after all on our way to Montana.

He'd informed me that Dimitri was closer to us than I thought. He'd said that where he was awakened, he'd tried to take another. And if that proved to be true? Then that meant he was definitely at the cave. God, I don't know how I was going to overcome this one. I'd seen that cave too many times in my nightmares to have it replay in my real life.

Ugh! I hated that cave. It was the same cave where I'd lived through those frightening moments when I saw Dimitri being dragged away with that blonde Strigoi; Nathan, and I'd been the one who suggested a rescue mission. I never stopped blaming myself for that.

Yeah, we'd saved a lot of students and guardians that day, but unfortunately Dimitri's fate lost out. He'd been captured and turned into a twisted Strigoi. It was a hell of a day for everyone, but it seemed like a nightmare for me. That haunting moment and I'd be forced to go back there and relive it.

I'd have to face the man that I loved who once held my heart in the palm of his hands. He'd been the reason I believed that love existed. _Now_ I was truly going to see him, and this time…_kill him_.

My heart took on another flip jump with those two frightening words. Could I really kill him this time? Would I hesitate again? Or will I stumble and fall? I wasn't so sure. _Lissa and Adrian._ I let my mind chant.I had to let go of Dimitri. He was gone, and I'd soon be the one to put him out of his misery.

I'll soon be the girl to have set his soul free. Just like I promised him. A blood promise we made if one of us had been turned Strigoi. I knew this was going to be hard. But it had to be done. I squeezed my eyes in thought. _Lissa and Adrian are alive, Dimitri is not! _I chanted in my head.

_God, I'm really going to kill him this time…? _

I squeezed them tighter trying to go back to sleep.

"Your tears are no match for him. His weeping heart is louder and can be heard a mile within."

I jumped just as I felt a sweep of fingers under my eyes. I blinked furiously to catch my vision. I wasn't crying was I? I felt my eyes. Nope. But my heart still felt like it had been jagged with a blunt knife.

By now the stewardess announced that we'll be landing in Montana any minute now. I kept Robert close beside me while Sydney had to deal with a seat next to Christian. He was asleep of course; his head slumped on Sydney's shoulder and he was snoring.

I would have laughed had I never seen Sydney so anxious and uneasy. Even seeing her asleep her face never relaxed. Like her worry lines were permanent with one hand wrapped around her crucifix.

She refused to rest and insisted she drive no matter what. I guess driving made her seem like she was always in control, and I felt sorry for her to have been dragged along.

In fact, it seemed like she hadn't slept in days. We'd been gone for less than three days and between the four of us, we only managed to check in one Motel. The other times, we'd been living like zombies. I was just happy she finally let her eyes close. Ever since Sydney learned that I wasn't the only unnatural creature she was confined to hanging out with, she'd refused to sleep, until now. I forced a smile and turned my attention back to Robert.

"I wasn't crying." I said lamely. Okay, so maybe I was a little. He smiled in that weird way again, his piercing gaze was so powerful, and that feeling came over me again like he was using compulsion. Almost like he couldn't help it. I averted my eyes back to the window.

"That's okay. Crying is an act of several causes: Frustration, Physical Pain, Rejection, Enjoyment, Life and even Death. I wonder why people don't cry when they're in fear. They're almost shocked out of their boots or frightened with terror but never do they cry." He said as if he were talking to the seat in front of him. I furrowed my eyebrows. That was an odd observation.

"Maybe they're on the verge of crying? Like…never getting around to it?" He shrugged. A brief moment of silence and then he started talking.

"Maybe—Spirit is a powerful source you know, and his spirit is alive even if his state is uncontrollable; undead. He's there." I furrowed my eyebrows and pondered at that thought. I marveled at how quick of a subject Robert could jump from. It almost made me think he really was schizophrenic. I turned to him.

"You really think so?" He nodded.

"I know so. But the hell he is living in is what's clouding it. You're the one who's keeping him alive." My throat felt dry all of a sudden. I took a swig of my water bottle sitting next to me. I cleared my throat.

"How do you know that?" He had a smug look on his face and I automatically thought of Victor. I shuddered.

"Some study of how the human mind works; it's all the same with our kind. Strigoi, however, somehow take their strongest memory, and form a connection with that. What used to be a possession becomes their obsession." I nodded. I knew that to some extent. That didn't necessarily mean they had a conscience. Strigoi were Strigoi. Adult or child. They were all the same. And there was no denying the evil they possess.

"I was told Strigoi can seem like their old self, but it's just a masquerade. They're monsters. " He seemed annoyed at my judgment.

"That maybe…but the memory he keeps of you is what's imprinted in his mind, body and soul. He can't shut that part of him out. When they leave their former state, and transform into this evil being, they carry with them the most vivid memory they have of their previous life. _His_ just happens to be you." I pondered over that fact. Dimitri did seem obsessive over me, with the taunting and the letters. But most of all, the obsession over wanting to awaken me and join him in this eternal hell he describes as a better life. I shuddered.

"How do you know all of this?" I asked finally. He tapped his side temples with two fingers as if that was an answer for itself. His mouth twitched like he was choosing his next words carefully.

"Like I said, Spirit's a powerful source. You ever heard of Mind over matter?" I shrugged. I was sure I had once in my life, but elaborating on the topic was best left to the professionals.

"Some people believe the mind is stronger than your physical embodiment. Almost like tricking the mind in to thinking what it likes, making you seem invincible. Chinese use it in their craft and daily life events, disciplinary of the mind is mandatory with their culture. Meditation and medicinal herbs is just the base of it, but it all comes down to this." He pointed to his temple. "—focus of the mind takes skill and years of practice it's a key source of power. Just like Spirit. Both are practically the same thing."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Maybe you see him better than he sees himself. Too much of this—" he pointed at my heart, "—is clouding this—" He pointed to my head. "—with a little influencing, maybe he can see what you do." I was left baffled to say anything. Confused couldn't even begin to cover what I was going through. Although, it made a little sense, except that would involve using compulsion. And that wasn't in my line of era. I was a dhampir. He sighed.

"Try looking at it from his point of view. You're all he has to think about. His train of thoughts are occupied and with you being the key point of focus. It's a battle of the fittest in his mind. Maybe the reasonable voice locked in there is louder, you just refuse to listen." Okay, if Robert was saying what I think he was, I'd almost think he was defending Strigoi.

"He kills people. _They _kill innocent people. Are you saying his mind can turn that off?" His head tilted in thought.

"With years of practice yes. But he can't help that fact, that's just nature's duty calling. Seeing you might change that. You're a big part of his life." I sighed.

"I don't know about that." I replied in a reluctant tone. He glowered.

"If he wanted to kill you, he would have done it already." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Why do people insist on believing that? It just meant that they didn't get around to doing it just yet.

"I'm not so sure about that either. I have a feeling he wants me to join him in his eternal afterlife. As one of them." I said in disgust. He nodded.

"My point exactly." I frowned. It's like I had to work harder to understand him. Read between the lines so to speak.

"You have your stake with you?" He asked and I noticed the woman sitting across from us had overheard. She looked away as soon as she met my stare. I nodded eyeing him warily. His tone quieted down to mere whispering.

"You need to take four spirit users to represent the four corners. North, south, east, west. Wield the stake with all four to compensate for the four elements. You will need to pierce his heart and recite these words four times. He muttered something in Russian again. And before I could ask what he meant, he said,

"I evoke thee, the devil that dwells within. You say it as soon as it has pierced the heart." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

It sounded like some deranged incantation from a movie script. Seriously, why did I bother? Just when I was starting to see Robert as a normal person, he gives me this. He went back to staring into nothingness, tracing his finger over his palm, making a circle, and our conversation was over. All I could think was 'how the hell was I going to find four Spirit users?' I only knew of three. Well, technically five, but Ms Karp had disappeared; Oksana was in Russia so that left me with three liable candidates. Well, more like unreliable candidates considering how Lissa was held captive by a Strigoi, Adrian, was supposedly so but no where to be seen, and Robert being the exceptional third, was a schizophrenic. Great, so much for that one. He chuckled like he had read my thoughts. I looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Lucky for you, it's already been done." He said, handing me a stake of his own. It felt heavier than normal, though it was the same size as any other, almost like the weight of it came from the power of Spirit. I eyed it carefully turning it over in my hands.

"This is…" before I could finish my sentence. He nodded. It was obviously the stake he had used to change a Strigoi back to their former self. I wanted to ask him more about that, but somehow I knew he wasn't about to share that information with me.

"Just remember those words. They're mandatory." I nodded, tucking it under my waist. I wondered how he got the thing in here in the first place. _Compulsion of the human mind._ It was easier on humans to make them believe what they wanted to.

We landed in Montana around sundown; which was a vampire's favorite time of day. Sydney had a car meet us at the airport: A black SUV, a lot like what the guardians had at St. Vladimir's. We were walking toward the car when Christian stopped me, grabbing me by the arm and staring me off in to a shuttle waiting area. I screwed my face up in annoyance and eyed the grip he had on my arm.

"What the hell Ozera…what gives?" I shrugged his hand off me. He let go and leaned in to whisper in my ear. A little demanding for a whisper.

"Rose, don't we need backup?" His glare meant to say 'I-know-we-need-backup.' I rolled my eyes. So this was about me going at it alone. After telling Christian and Sydney that their assistance was no longer needed and had been flagged with a red light, a protest of some sort was bound to break out. I knew this was going to happen. I shrugged like it was no big deal.

"Yup." I said casually. He looked around as if I'd magically made a whole back up team appear.

"So where is it?" I rolled my eyes.

"You asked if we _needed_ back up, not do we _have_ back up." Now it was his turn to roll his eyes and just to give it a dramatic effect, he threw his hands up in exasperation.

"Rose! We're not going in there blind! We'll get ourselves killed." He hissed in protest.

"That's why _I'm _going in blind, to spare you both the trouble." I said triumphantly. He scowled.

"This is no time to play hero Rose, be reasonable!" He was flaring with anger and seriousness that I almost couldn't summon up the teasing, snarky Christian I once knew. Maybe I didn't give him enough credit than what he deserved. In fact he was so serious, that his tone almost took on a similar one to Dimitri's old mentor voice. I sighed.

"I'm not trying to be. I told you, he wants me to come alone. So I will. I can't risk Lissa's or Adrian's life for nothing. This has to be done." I said as a matter of fact.

"You can't risk your own either…what if you don't make it out?" I waved his worries off with my hand.

"Don't worry about me. You just work on keeping yourself alive. I'll take care of Dimitri." I said making my way back to the SUV. He followed.

"I still think we should call someone to help." He said as we claimed our seats.

"Already taken care of." Sydney said as she pulled out onto the road. My mouth was agape. She eyed me warily.

"_What?_ You can't expect me to let you go in there alone Rose…that's not how this works." She said keeping her eyes on the road. I almost flared with anger.

"Well you obviously didn't get the memo because this is how _I _work. And no one comes with me." I muttered.

"I know, but it's not safe." She replied.

"Calling for back up is not safe. I want my friends _alive_." I said furiously.

"I do too…but…" I sighed trying to calm down.

"Look, I don't want to argue, I've made up my mind…and that's final." I said and turned my head to the window.

"What are you planning on doing?" She asked a moment later.

"Like I said. I want my friends alive." I shrugged their protests off and we made our way to the cave. It was totally unsafe at a time like this because it was night time. The time of day where Strigoi stalk their prey.

"Rose you know we need back up." Christian chimed in the back seat. I grunted and rubbed my eyes. They were burning of exhaustion. God, I hadn't slept properly in a long time but that wasn't going to slow me down tonight. No. I was hyped up with too much adrenaline to allow myself to sleep.

"Christian…I can't let them die on my account. Not after losing Mason. I have to do this. I can't lose another friend." I said remembering those haunting moments when Mason had been killed in Spokane by a Strigoi named Isaiah. I shuddered.

"Rose, this is not like Spokane. You have to learn to ask for help. Mason's death could've been prevented." I turned around and glared. Was he implying what I think he was? I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What are you trying to say? That he got what was coming to him?" I shrieked. He was taken aback momentarily and shook his head in sorrow.

"God no! That's not what I'm saying. Not at all. I'm saying that you should think before you act. Spokane could've been avoided if we had help. Don't make the same mistake." I pursed my lips and didn't say anything.

He had a point. Spokane could've been avoided if we had confided in someone for assistance. This was Dimitri after all. He'd been powerful in his Dhampir state; he was ten times more as a Strigoi. I turned my head back and stared out of the front windshield in a daze. I sighed.

"Fine, but they have to lie low, because if Dimitri gets a tip off that I'd come with company. You better hope Lissa's and Adrian's life isn't the result of it." Christian squeezed my shoulder in a brotherly sort of way to thank me.

"If it's any consolation? You should slip into her head first. Study the surrounding's, see if he's got company too." I nodded. That's probably the best thing that has come out of his mouth since this trip. Well, besides the back up suggestion. I closed my eyes and allowed my thoughts to search out for Lissa and slipped into her head.

She was still in her silk satin ball gown. It had been dirtied from asphalt and blood. I can tell she was itching for a shower and a change of clothes. She was sitting up studying Dimitri from the corner of her eyes. He was reading another one of his western novels.

I rolled my eyes. It was almost like he'd never changed. Louis La'Mour apparently never left his mind. I made a mental note to see what the big deal was and remind myself to read one of them someday. That's if I ever got the chance to. I noticed Lissa was breaking up bread in her hand and throwing the pieces on the ground like she was feeding a flock of birds.

Always stealing a glance at Dimitri—more of a glare than anything. I could vaguely make out what she was thinking. _He loves her, he loves her not…he loves her, he loves her not. _I furrowed my eyebrows. Lissa was using the bread as some kind of flower, like she was plucking the petals off.

A game we used to play in seventh grade, when we'd liked a boy. Back then we'd believed the end result. If it landed on 'he loves you'? It meant he did. If not, then he didn't. In a weird way, I wanted to know what she would get up to when she finished the last of the bread.

"You read that book like you're devoured by its content…why?" She demanded. His head lifted up from the page briefly and looked at her with a cocked eyebrow. Meanwhile Lissa still kept her mind game. She was up to…_He loves her._

"Same reason you read those fashion magazines." She scoffed discarding another piece of bread._ He loves her not_.

"What? 'Cause you like what you see? Or you wish you were in it?" He had a smirk on his face.

"Both." She furrowed her brows.

"What's it about? A Strigoi capturing a Moroi against her will? Or is having more than one plot tactic, overkill?" It was his turn to frown.

"Funny. I didn't take you for the snarky type. I'd have almost mistaken you for Rose." She rolled her eyes.

"Sorry to disappoint. But then again you knew that. Why else would you have me right? What are you hoping Rose would do anyway? Wait. Let me guess. The heroine comes to you "alone" and risks her life to free the helpless friend, meanwhile the hero gets the girl and all live happily ever after?" His mouth twitched askew.

"Sounds like you watch too much Disney channel." She resisted the urge to kick him or slam a fist on the bed. But she just resulted in glaring at him. She threw the last bit of bread on the ground with a bitter thought…_He loves her._ I mentally glowed at that, but I reminded myself I wasn't in seventh grade and that game didn't work with bread. I started looking around the cave. It was clear as daylight now. One entrance and possible threats of faithful Strigoi beyond that entrance. But they weren't at all visible. I silently wondered where Adrian was. He was no where in sight.

"What do you plan on doing once Rose comes? If she comes at all…" She said after a moment of silence. She was in the mood for bugging him. That got his attention. He slammed the book closed and shifted his body so he could see her.

"What makes you think she won't?" He asked.

"What makes you think she will?" She challenged.

I was momentarily shoved out of Lissa's head and a flash of blood clouded my memory. The picture disappeared and then lit up again. I saw Adrian, he was trying to dream walk in my mind, but something felt off. Like it took all of his energy to summon me.

_I was in a grave sight where Moroi and Dhampir's had been buried in past lives here in Montana. Not far from St. Vladimir's. I was strolling by a big tombstone and spotted Adrian, leaning up against an old mausoleum door. His neck was bleeding and he was struggling to catch his breath. His hand was strangled around his neck in order to stop the bleeding. I ran to him and knelt down to study his wounds. He'd been bitten. Badly bitten and my face paled when his eyes opened. He was hurt to the point that made his eyes glassy and red. He held his left arm close to his stomach like it had been broken._

"_Rose…I'm…okay…" He said through slow draws of breath in between. I panicked as more blood seeped out of him._

"_Oh God Adrian! What happened? Are you hurt? Where are you?"My voice came out in hysterics. He nodded slowly and winced when he moved. His guttural moans were painful to hear. I took my top off and wrapped it around his neck to help stop the bleeding. He shook his head._

"_It doesn't work…this….dream." He choked again. _

"_Adrian! Where are you?" _

"_You the code….phone…" He choked up blood and I struggled to understand anything coherent from him. I panicked again when the picture started fading and I was looking through Lissa's eyes then back to his blood. _The dream disappeared and I was back in my own head. My head had taken on a headache but it wasn't what I experienced with sensing Strigoi. This was like system overload. It passed as fast as I could detect it. Whoa! That had never happened before. It was like some channel had interrupted and shoved me out of Lissa's head and into Adrian's dream. Almost like a two way communication link battling to stay in tact. Oh, god. Adrian. He was hurt and bleeding. I needed to get to him too.

"You need to send an ambulance to Adrian! He's badly hurt. He's at a grave sight bleeding to death." I said, panicking with every word. Christian tried to calm me and Sydney turned to me in earnest.

"Where? There's like thousands of grave sights in Montana." I cursed. Shit! What did Adrian try to tell me? _You the code…phone? _What the hell did that mean? What phone? I didn't own a phone. Realization kicked in and I rummaged through my duffel bag, fishing out Adrian's phone. Then I remembered Christian had handed me Adrian's phone with a code. He said it will come in handy. _Code? I'm the code?_ I felt through my pocket and held a white piece of paper. Four digits scribbled on the paper. I punched them in. 6572. A Map lit up on his phone and a red dot started blinking. Adrian has GPS? I zoomed in and sure enough. Mortuary Burial Grounds. St. Peters cemetery. I quickly relayed what I had learned to Sydney and she got a bunch of guardians and doctors on it right away. We arrived at the cave and back up had been kept right away until I signaled when. It felt promising that I was leading this time. Until I noticed Alberta, my victory almost dispersed immediately.

"Don't worry Rose; we know why you did it. You're wise to get in help. We'll deal with the consequences later. Right now? Moroi come first. We need to protect those in there." She pointed toward the entrance. I marveled at her calmness. She'd always taken her job serious, but she was always so calm.

"You know…everything?" She nodded. I bit my lip.

"What do I need to do?" She was all in guardian mode now.

"Right now, lay low. He doesn't know you're bringing company. So, you have to act like you don't have any. Barging in there with confidence will tip him off." Like I had any of that to start with? I nodded.

"A team caught a bunch of Strigoi further down that track, but eliminated them. According to them, Belikov is acting alone. So we have an advantage point."

"Okay…"

"As much as I don't like this, but you're going to have to go in there alone. We'll be right behind you. Put this in your ear. It's a radio device. We'll be right there if you need us." I nodded while I felt a little rubber bud being placed in my ear. It was practically invisible. "—And Rose? Please be careful…" I gave her a half smile and turned toward the mouth of the entrance.

I walked gingerly into the cave and already my senses were heightened. My eyes sharpened to the darkness while my head took on another feeling. Nausea which meant Dimitri was near, I could feel him. I made my way through the cave almost blindly. Not knowing what way to turn until my headache amped up and I followed the excruciating feeling down further into the cave. A strong nauseating feeling took over my mind and I sensed it coming from my right. I saw red eyes glowing from afar and already my adrenaline was pumping with anticipation. I took my stake out as I came forward.

It was Mariya. Shit! I'd been too late. She had already been turned into a Strigoi. She hissed and barred her fangs at me like I was her worst enemy. In mere seconds she darted toward me giving me a blow on my arm. I staggered back but held my balance. She was sloppy and new born so I could easily take her on; but still, there was no avoiding the type of strength they got with being a Strigoi. Even new born she was freaking strong.

I faced off with her trying my hardest to dodge her attacks while trying to get a clear shot at her heart. She reached her arms out with lightening speed and nearly scratched my eyes out. I spun her around and kicked her into the wall. She shrieked making a shrilling echo. _Dramatic much?_ And then I knew why. It was almost like some kind of alarm. Damn, now Dimitri definitely knew I was here. She launched her body at me again and I took another blow to my face, but not before swiping her with a blow of my own, scratching her shoulder with my stake. Her skin burned as another shriek escaped her mouth. _God damn this woman was a drama queen!_

She got a tight grip on my arm and with quick speed; I managed to get an opening to her heart. I sliced my stake up, wriggling it through her rib cage and pierced her heart using all my strength to push it further. She fell limp to the ground. One down, Dimitri to go. I winced. Poor girl. She'd wanted none of this. I retrieved my stake and wiped the residue on Mariya's top. Dimitri really thought I would come alone. I was almost flattered with the amount of faith he put toward me. I heard a buzz through the ear piece.

"Rose, we're occupied out here, what ever you do, don't turn back. There's more that are gathering in this spot. He'll have an advantage on you if any of us slip. Hopefully that won't happen."

Well that was some reassurance wasn't it? Slip up and I'd be flushed with a death trap. The crawl space was visible now and I could only make out movement inside. I cursed myself. If I got trapped in that small space I'd be toast. And there was no telling Dimitri was near the entrance.

"You may as well come in; I don't like my guest waiting in the cold." I froze. Dimitri. He knew I was there. Well, not quite surprised after that unnerving shriek Mariya carried out.

"—not to worry, its invitation only. You're the number one guest." I glared at the wall.

"How do I know you're not going to kill me as soon as I enter?"

"You don't, but if you want your friends alive? I guess you follow orders. I don't think you're stupid enough to risk the outcome." I grunted.

"Okay, I'll come. On one condition."

"You're not in a position to be making orders Rose." He warned.

"The hell I am! You want me? You let my friends go!" I growled. He chuckled.

"Not how it works. You come and I say when its time to let them go." Another buzz came through my ear piece. It was Alberta.

"We've got Adrian, Rose. They're taking him to St. Vladimir's to be treated. All clear out here. On your word, we're coming in."

"Not now!" I whispered.

"Why not now? I've been waiting patiently." Dimitri answered. I scowled.

"Fine, stay away from the door or else your face is meeting my stake. We clear?" He chuckled again.

"Don't worry; I'll be sure to keep Lissa companied anyway." He replied.

_He's telling the truth Rose. He's shielding himself with my body. I still have one cuff on so I can't run. There's only one entrance and you're coming through it. Please, Rose, don't come in. Just leave and let him do whatever. Just make sure you're safe._ Lissa sent through the bond. I squeezed my eyes shut. Lissa was trying to be brave, but I'm afraid I couldn't let her die on my watch. Not if I can help it. I crawled through the spot with my stake pointed at the ready. I came to the opening and found my legs as fast as I could. My stake raised in the air. Dimitri had been telling the truth. To be able to get to Dimitri's heart, I'd have to get through Lissa. His eyes roamed my body like he was taking in every detail. Every curve and I felt like I was exposed all of a sudden. A smile lifted up in the corner of his mouth as he met my glare.

"You know a picture will last longer." I barked in anger. He tilted his head.

"Oh I know Rose, especially yours. Well, it will be soon." I froze. He wanted to awaken me and my heart took on another beating.

"I'm quite disappointed that you didn't come alone, I guess I knew you too well." Before I could ask how he knew that. He decided to fill me in.

"—my men didn't quite make it here on the clock. I assumed they were held up." Right, so that's why Strigoi were lurking outside the caves instead of in it. I almost thought that was sloppy on Dimitri's part. But he'd thought it through obviously. I'd hated that he knew me well. In fact, I felt disappointed at myself for being so predictable.

"Let her go, you got what you asked for, now let her go." I demanded. My ear piece went off.

"Rose, we're coming in. A bunch of Strigoi turned up and got through. We're sending the team in. Get the princess and get out of there!"

We heard footsteps coming toward us down the entry way. Dimitri turned his head and Lissa elbowed him in the groin. He was momentarily stunned and I made my way toward Lissa. Dimitri caught my arm and shoved me to the wall. I staggered back in a daze. Christian was visible now and he ran to Lissa. Dimitri tried to grab for Lissa and Christian sent a blast of fire his way and went flying to wall next to me, screaming when his arm caught on fire. Dimitri shook it off and grabbed me instead. I struggled in his grip, both fighting for dominance. My adrenaline pumping so high now. This was it. It was now or never. I had to eliminate the threat. In fact, fighting was just like sex.

Adrenaline pumping, a fight for control and a whole lot of making guttural noises. I took a couple of blows to my face, and he did too, but we were closely matched. We practically trumped each other when it came to dominance. I had my stake but he was shielding his heart, turning so I couldn't get a clear opening.

A team of guardians were in tow and in that fleet full moment. I was distracted. Which gave Dimitri the advantage. He caught me by the wrist and discarded my stake, shrieking when he touched it. It fell to the ground. He slammed me against the wall then spun me around holding me up against his body. His arm locked around my neck. Back to chest. Alberta was gunning for him and froze. His fangs were bared.

"Stay where you are!" He hissed. We backed up against the wall so that we were near the exit and they were trapped in further. I could feel his breath on the nape of my neck.

"Alberta, don't. One move and Rose is eliminated. Your choice." Dimitri barked. I could hear Lissa crying my name and the cave started spinning. This was it; he was going to change me. It was my turn to demand them to leave.

"It's okay, just take Lissa, and get her safe. I'm okay." I nodded toward Alberta. They all seemed to move like slowpokes refusing to leave.

"Go! Now! I'm okay." I shouted and the guardians made a protective circle around Lissa. I glared at Christian to tell him to move. He looked at Lissa's cuff that was wielded around her wrist. _Rose, we can't leave you_. He mouthed. I nodded and mouthed _yes you can_.

He shook his head.

"I promise, I'm okay Christian. Just make sure she's safe with the 'back pocket." I hinted as some lame 'code'. I had finally known what the key that Adrian had left me with was for. He'd told me I'd know when to use it. But I had failed to use it when I was supposed to. It was for Victor's shackles, he'd really come through for me and wanted to help me. Even if it meant freeing Victor. So I took a wild guess that all shackles were the same and needed the same key, so I hinted it to Christian to use it on Lissa's cuffs. He furrowed his eyebrows and felt in the back pocket. His eyes took on a different sight and nodded a knowing look toward me. That was when I was taken away. Dimitri had whipped me out of there so fast; I couldn't even see the exit. I'd left my team in there and willingly gone with him, if it meant my friends being alive. Then that's what I'd do. Dimitri finally had me. He got what he wanted, but now for the fun part. How was I going to escape this one?

"Drive!" Dimitri demanded, shoving me in the drivers' seat of the SUV. He sat at the back keeping a tight grip on my shoulder. Had it been anywhere else? I'd be hooting and hollering right now for finally getting the chance to drive while in Dimitri's presence. I just didn't think it'll be our own Bonny and Clyde rerun. I floored down on the gas as he ordered and we made our way on the highway toward…well I had no clue. He only ordered me to drive. He left the part out about where we were headed. He was like an annoying navigator. Turn here. Go there. Shut up. I rolled my eyes. How rude.

"Pull in over here!" I gaped at him in the rearview.

"A Motel? A bit of a horror movie cliché isn't it?" I realized why. The sun was on its way and I'd pretty much driven for four hours. He didn't say anything. He got out of the car with lightening speed and I felt a yanking on my top. He was pulling me out of the driver's seat with extreme force. I struggled under his hold but he was able to keep me walking toward a room. We checked in one of the rooms (illegally) and found a dark room. There was only a small window in the room, and one curtain was drawn back making room for no light. Dimitri shoved me in and locked the door. I glared.

"God, is that some way to treat a lady?" I said bitterly. He ignored me and snapped a wood from the bathroom cupboard that sat at the bottom of the sink and covered the window with it. He found nails sticking out on it and smashed his fist on it so the nails dug into the wall. It blocked out the light really well. He couldn't keep still. He was pacing back and fourth and checking the entrances. Just one. The door was locked but I was sure I could get to it.

"So what now? We hide out here until sundown? Kind-a boring if you ask me." I said nonchalantly.

"That's why I didn't." I sighed.

"Is this about Adrian? Are you jealous of him?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"No." I rolled my eyes.

"Could've fooled me, what ever happened to 'if I can't have you, no one can.'" His eyes frowned in annoyance.

"Exaggeration Rose." I scoffed.

"Didn't seem like it when you left him to dead." He narrowed his eyes at me. Then he dragged the furniture so it covered the door. I rolled my eyes at the back of his head. I took my chance and slammed my body into him, but before I could get a hit on him, he spun around and grabbed me by the arms, twisting me so that I was the one slammed into the door instead of him. His breath hot on the nape of my neck.

"You really have to work of that battle cry of yours." He teased and I struggled for him to let go. He spun me around so that our chests were pressed up against each other. My back against the door and his lips just inches from mine. He leaned in closer to kiss me and instead of kissing him back, I bit him. He grunted in annoyance. His hands went to his lips momentarily and I swiped him on the face with my palm. It only made him angry but he smiled.

"A little feisty since the last time." He muttered.

"Get the fuck off me!" I spat. He leaned in closer so that his breath was meddled with mine. His aftershave more potent now. "You want me I can smell it." He whispered. I pushed him away and to my astonishment. He moved out of the way and went back to moving stuff around so it went from comfy motel room, to captivity.

He'd been occupied with rearranging furniture so I sat on the bed. Something stabbed my hip a little and I almost forgot I had it. It was the stake that Robert had given me when we were on the plane. It was stuffed in my waist band. I smiled grimly. I took it out and stuffed it down the head of the bed in between the head board and the mattress. Easy access for when I had him contained. I fluffed the pillows on top.

"What are you doing?" I whipped my head around to Dimitri's stare. I almost got caught putting it in there. I ended up sprawling myself on the bed.

"Resting, or is that too much to ask for?"I said innocently. He eyed me warily.

"No, it's just, you seem comfortable." He said suspiciously. I rolled my eyes.

"May as well make this kidnapping worth while, right?" I yawned and my eyes felt heavy. It was part of the pretence but I didn't really have to act all that much. I was exhausted. "—Plus I'm tired so if you don't mind, I'd rather sleep than look at you right now." I turned away from him and curled myself up in a ball. My eyes actually falling to sleep.

"Rose, you know why I had to do it…"

I peeled my eyes open only to find him right in front of my face, hovering over me, while his fingers smoothed out my hair. His hands were ice cold and they made me shudder. I shook my head and whacked his hand away from me. I'd already made peace with my fate, and if it meant being holed up with a Strigoi? Then I'd let it be. Lissa and Adrian were safe. That was the best thing to have come out of it. My friends were alive. Just like I promised. Either way I was dead. I was hoping for death, because I couldn't live with myself if I was one of them. A Strigoi.

"I don't know why you do anything anymore. You're not who you used to be. I know that now." I said and my voice was drifting off to sleep. I would fight, but my body needed a little R&R. And as much I wanted to pretend I wasn't tired. Sleep was determined to take me under. I sighed when he shook me awake.

"I did it for us Roza…" he whispered. His lips touched my forehead in the slightest. Almost like a featherlike touch. I blinked my eyes open. He was a Strigoi, but yet he could be so gentle. It was like Dimitri but not Dimitri again. I studied his lips and his features. So much of him was the Dimitri I once knew, just with red eyes and fangs. _His spirit is alive even if his state is uncontrollable; undead. He's there._ Something Robert Duro had said. I shook my head.

"You did it for yourself, don't bring me into this. You did it for yourself." I yawned again.

"No…I did it so we could be together." I smiled as my eyes blinked slowly. Giving in to sleep. I'd dreamed up heaps of ways of wanting this exact same thing. Running away with the man I loved. Living out of Motels and having the world in the palm of our hands. But that fantasy had become my nightmare. Now it was a romantic getaway from hell. I was currently running with a Strigoi, whose main goal was turning me into a monster.

"FYI, taking me to a Motel to win me over wasn't the way to do it." I said finally. I heard him sigh and I opened my eyes to his lips hovering over mine. I had the slightest urge to kiss them. Just to see what they tasted like. As if he could read my mind he let his lips brush over my cheekbones. I wanted to push him away, but at the same time I wanted to pull him closer. I closed my eyes briefly pretending he was my Dimitri again and pondered over the feel of his lips. So supple and sweet. He pulled back and smoothed out my hair again.

"I promise it's only temporary." He whispered against my lips. I felt his hands roam up my thighs and I shuddered, and damn myself. I liked the feel of him. His other hand cupped my cheek and his thumb skimmed over my lips.

"I missed you." He said. I stared up at him, focusing on his eyes. And I almost had the reflex to reply and repeat his words. I wanted to say I missed you too. There was obviously some truth in that. I more or less missed the old Dimitri. Both seemed to contradict each other. _Maybe you see him better than he sees himself. _Robert's banter clouded my mind again. I squeezed my eyes and tried to block out that reasonable voice saying maybe I was wrong that this was all wrong. But what did it mean when the feeling felt so right? I wanted this too didn't I? I had Dimitri where I wanted him to be. He was unguarded, seduced and most of all distracted.

I reached up to pull his face down and captured his lips with mine. He was surprised at first, but then he relaxed and kissed me back. Oh God, it was like our first kiss all over again. Though his lips were cold, it's almost like the passion that we shared had ignited a flame again.

_This is your chance Rose; you have him where you want him. _I slipped my hand up to reach for my stake but he'd taken my top off. I helped him by lifting my arms and head and he discarded it like a piece of garbage, sending it flying across the room. His mouth opened to mine and his tongue slipped between and I groaned. Our kissing session became too heated at that moment. I wasn't supposed to get carried away, but he was so good, I couldn't help it. _The stake, grab the stake. _

I slipped my hand up toward the headboard, under the pillow. But his hands ran over my arm and caught my hand. His fingers laced with mine and he squeezed them. His mouth left mine and already my lips were missing his touch. He went for my neck and nuzzled at it. Fangs skimming over my vein, but all the while never breaking the skin. I moaned. He traced my collar bone with his tongue and the sweet caress made me tingle. I was panting now, and I squeezed my eyes shut in anticipation.

I couldn't focus anymore and I gave myself up to his touch. His hand went behind my bra, and flicked the hook off with one hand, like a master, and my bra swung free. He sent that flying too. His jacket was on the floor, and his muscle shirt disappeared soon after. My hands were acting on their own volition and they explored every hard bit of his body. I was at the mercy of his lips. Kissing, caressing my skin making trails down my sternum. I was hot and ready. God, this wasn't suppose to…

I cried out in a guttural groan as soon as he captured my breast in his mouth and my body started bucking off the bed. Sweat licking between us, and soon we were both panting for more.

"Roza…" He panted.

"Yeah…?" I said in a hoarse tone.

"We shouldn't go any further…" He was caressing my chest when he said this. I shook my head.

"Why not?" I said.

He chuckled as if that was the right answer and he had me naked in a second.

In fact, I'd almost thought this was another one of my dreams I was having, but this was happening. It was all happening. I would've cursed myself for letting him further, but I wanted him. I couldn't deny that fact. Some small part of me knew that I'd always wanted him. Our kisses became sloppy once I took him inside of me and our bodies moved in perfect sync. Like we were made for each other. My body started burning, despite the feel of his cold skin and I needed more. It was pure ecstasy. And then he bit me on my neck and I'd automatically cried out in pain, and pleasure. Both overwhelming me to the point of momentarily being blind. It was pure orgasmic sex that I'd never experienced in my life.

Endorphins from his bite sent my orgasm to the roof. I'd cried his name almost four times, letting the sensational waves over take me, over and over I was at the mercy of this man…I loved. I still loved. I could feel his muscles retracting and his chords straining while he had a few of his own.

Finally, it was over, leaving me panting uncontrollably. He shuddered on top of me and his head fell to my neck, licking my wound closed. He stabbed his arms out on each side in order to hold his body weight off me. I blinked as I struggled to catch my breath. My vision was a little hazy from his bite. I was still dazed as I looked in to his eyes.

They were hooded but I could make out his red eyes. I froze. My body instantly turning off like a switch. Strigoi eyes? Fuck! _I'd just had sex with a Strigoi? Amazing sex it was, but with a Strigoi? _It all happened so fast. Shit, how did I let this happen? I blinked furiously now as he rolled off me and fell on the bed, back first.

He covered his waist with the sheets and looked up at the ceiling as if he too didn't believe what had just happened. Oh God! I'd just had sex with a Strigoi! My heart started beating fast. _Focus Rose, focus. _The endorphins from the bite was too much. I vaguely heard what he was saying.

"Well, that wasn't supposed to happen…" he said a moment later.

I turned the other way and lifted the sheets to cover myself. I was embarrassed. I just gave myself up willingly to a Strigoi. _Stupid, Stupid._ I curled into a ball away from him. I couldn't look at him. Not now, not ever. He'd made me do this. _Not true, you let him do this to you._

I heard him sigh and the bed moving. He had shuffled up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to block out my voice that wanted this. It felt so good but at the same time it felt so wrong. He nuzzled in the crook of my neck as he trailed kisses over my shoulder. My body was saying it wanted every bit of this, but my mind was saying something else. A thought popped in my mind. Maybe my heart was clouding my mind after all.

His hands went to my cheeks and he felt moisture on his fingers. I'd been crying. He rolled me over so I was facing him and my hands were covered over my eyes. I couldn't let him see me.

"Roza, what's wrong?" I shook my head and tried to turn the other way.

I was ashamed of myself. Ashamed of what I had become, ashamed of what I wanted to happen. He pried my hands away from my face. I'd been crying, but not because I didn't want this. It was because I had consented to this. I couldn't live with myself for knowing what I had done._ I'd really done it now. I'd degraded myself for being a dirty blood whore?_ I shook my head.

"I'm sorry. It's nothing." He looked in my eyes and I did my best to avoid them. I remembered the stake. It was between the headboard and the mattress. I needed to get to it.

"You're lying." I shook my head.

"I'm okay." I said quickly.

"You're a bad liar Rose." He said.

"I promise I'm okay." And to make that statement plausible, I captured his lips with mine again. And this time I made a firm grip on the stake. I managed to maneuver it behind my back while he was still kissing me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered against his lips. He shrugged.

"For what?" It happened so fast, I'd almost been too fast for him to react. I pinned him to the bed and stole one last kiss on his lips and pierced my stake into his chest. I moved away a moment later with shock on my face. The stake was sticking out from his heart. His eyes bugged out and that's when something happened. A cry of death shrieking above me and a dark cloud seemed to hover over us. A blink of what looked like a dark light and I was thrown off the bed and slammed into the far wall. Knocked out momentarily. I struggled to regain consciousness and my head hurt. I rubbed my head where it hurt and I felt something sticky on my fingers. My vision was a little off, and hazy. I managed to reach for his jacket and covered my body. I saw Dimitri standing near me, but his figure seemed translucent. Like Mason's had been when he was…dead. Oh God, I'd killed him! That wasn't supposed to happen. Dimitri knelt down beside me.

_"You did it Rose, you freed me."_ He mouthed and I looked over to his Strigoi body, corpse. His eyes unfocused staring up at the ceiling while the sheet barely covered his hips. Why didn't it work? Why…I looked up at him in his translucent state and he smiled.

It was the old Dimitri standing before me with gratitude on his face. His warm smile swelling up my heart and then he reached out to touch me. My heart dropped as it swiped through me. His eyes went big and the translucent figure slammed into the body's corpse with the stake still attached to his heart.

It's like someone was pulling him back into the body and out again. My eyes followed his as he was staring down at his garment. His physical embodiment that once held his soul, that was no longer. I had done this. I…killed the man that I loved. _No!_ I blinked my tears away and shook my head. Trying to make sense of all this.

"Don't touch him, not yet." I looked toward the voice. It was Robert Duro, demanding one of the guardians to let him be. I saw a glow of white coming out of his palms as he retracted the stake out of his body and he was muttering something in Russian. _I forgot the incantation, that's why it didn't work_. I saw Dimitri's translucent figure smiling at me and then it disappeared.

"It didn't work." I whispered. My eyes streaming with tears. I kept repeating those words. I was vaguely aware of Alberta and the team storming in. Their protesting and yelling all blocked out of my head as I focused on Dimitri being wheeled out in a gurney. Stars danced around at the back of my eyelids. _It didn't work…_That was the last thing I remembered until I blacked out.

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_**A/N: **tell me what you think guys, anything I sooo wanna know lmfao...review please! Because you guys are the bestest in the world lmfao...(oh gotta go, vampire diariez is back on lol) - I refused to read VD because I knew it was turned into a tv series lolz _


	14. Chapter Fourteen

_**A/N:**__ Hey! So sorry but I haven't been in the mood to write in the last week or two. So I haven't been posting frequently. I know how annoying that is for you as a reader, but don't fret, it's here. So I hope you like._

_**VA movie?-**__ Join the Official Vampire Academy Movie page on my profile. It's the site you want to be on to kick start a possible VA movie (Richelle Mead sold her rights to VA to Preger Entertainment, and they're in the middle of finding a studio to get the movie underway)…more details on my profile. _

**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own VA or any of its characters, all of it belongs to the awesome Richelle Mead. NO copyright infringement intended, just for fanfic purposes only.

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**Chapter Fourteen**

**I** WOKE UP TO A LIGHT shinning in my eyes.

I squinted as my eyes struggled to focus. _Oh man, this is it? I'm fricking dead aren't I?_ I blinked furiously, trying to make out where I was. A slow annoying beep sounded from my left ear, while a gurgling sound came from the nearest basin. I wrinkled my nose at the sterile smell.

"Hi Rose…? It's Dr. Olendski…can you hear me?" Her voice seemed distant and muffled as my ears struggled to comprehend. I blinked again and I realized the light was a tiny flashlight getting shone in my eyes. After a few seconds, I tried to lift my head but regretted it soon after.

"Rose…can you hear me?" I nodded slowly and groaned when my head started to spin. Her hand went to my head to force me back to stop struggling.

I looked up at someone I hadn't seen in ages. Dr. Olendski. St Vladimir's on campus doctor for all intents and purposes. _Oh God, I'm in the hospital? What the—_and my thoughts had sometime to unwind before all the previous events came flooding back to me. I was in a Motel and Dimitri had taken me there—Strigoi Dimitri, to be exact. And I'd staked him in the heart with Roberts' stake. My heart started beating as I remembered I killed him.

She smiled. "Good to see you, Rose. In fact, I'd almost forgotten who you were, hadn't you come in sooner. You always used to be a regular." She winked.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out other than weird croaky nonsense. She had a cup hovered by my lips with a straw urging me to drink from it. I did. I tried the talking thing again.

"I…" I choked trying to raise my head. It felt a hundred pounds heavier.

I groaned instead. My mind was muddled with volatile memories, one's of Dimitri with a stake pierced into his chest. The stake _I_ pierced into his chest. _I'd killed Dimitri_?_ Oh God, I'd really killed him?_ Some part of me was happy because he was free of that state, but the other part of me was yearning for him. Like I'd done something terribly wrong.

A question formed in my mind. Had I really killed him? Did I keep my promise and put him out of his evil state? Before I could answer my own question, tears were already streaming down my cheeks. I tried to sit up again, but to no avail.

"Easy there, you suffered from a major concussion, you just stay still." She said finally. I reluctantly complied. Dr. Olendski managed to force my head back on my pillow.

"Dimitri…" I whispered. My voice was a little shaky and the god damn tears wouldn't stop. I could feel a brush of soft paper swiping over my eyes. I was crying stupidly now.

"Dimitri…?" It was all I was able to utter, since I wasn't at all feeling intelligible to put a complete sentence together. _Where's Dimitri?_ Dr. Olendski smiled in what looked like recognition.

"He's breathing, but he's induced to a coma. I'm positive that he's going to pull through."

She pointed to the gurney next to me. I looked over to where she was pointing and the image was blurry and clouded by my tears. I blinked again unable to believe what was before me. It was Dimitri. Lying on a gurney next to me. Hair strewn over the pillow, eyes closed and his chest rising at intervals that relieved me to say that he was alive. His color still pale, but he was alive. _Dimitri had made it through the change_? My heart started beating again and the machine went frantic as soon as I summoned that thought. I felt a hand on my arm.

"Rose, I'm gonna need you to calm down." Dr. Olendski insisted. But still she was unable to steal my attention away from Dimitri. After a few failed attempts at hollering my name, I reluctantly peeled my eyes away from a sleeping Dimitri and looked up in to her eyes.

"He's okay? He's really alive?" She nodded and I felt like crying all over again. But this time out of relief.

"Now, we're doing a lot of test on both of you." She checked my vitals and scribbled something on her chart. Her frown turning over what she obviously was reading. "That's weird, something doesn't add up." She muttered to herself. I started to panic.

"What? Am I okay?" I asked groggily. Her expression never wavered.

"You're fine, at least, from what I can tell, but our machine is picking up something the naked eye can't detect. I'll need to keep you here under observation for a few days." I nodded reluctantly. I didn't care too much on how I was doing. I was more worried about the man laying a few arm lengths beside me.

She looked up to the rapping on the door. "Ah, that must be Lord Ivashkov and princess Dragomir. Some of the few who've been eagerly anticipating your coming awake." She smiled. I could vaguely hear a few voices outside the door, but only Lissa was visible and she strolled in like she might have interrupted something.

"May we see her?" She asked nervously.

I noticed she looked different somehow. Maybe it was because she was out of her sumptuous gowns and dressed more like me, with light blue jeans and one of my white hooded jerseys and the same colored slippers. Her pale blond hair was tied up in a high pony tail. And her jade green eyes were glassy. I realized now that it was only early in the morning. Well, for the vampire race more or less, but she looked particularly comfortable. Dr. Olendski nodded and ushered her in further.

"Yes, but one at a time please! She's restless, so I advise you to take it easy on her." Lissa nodded and made her way gingerly toward me. Dr. Olendski excused herself, and reassured me that if in need of assistance, to just ring the bell. I nodded and turned my attention on Lissa. She stopped just inches from my face and tried her hardest not to cry. She sat down on the edge of my bed and took my hand in hers like a sister would do to comfort a sister. She gave me a once over, and her feelings through the bond were of concern, relief and sorrow.

"Rose, it's me. Lissa." She squeezed my hand. I smiled; actually I almost scoffed at that. As if I'd forget who she was or something? I rolled my eyes.

"Like I'd forget you? _Please."_ I said and she gave a sad smile.

"Just checking." She said triumphantly. I knew she was trying her hardest not to cry.

"You look good." I said, complimenting her casual look, not knowing how to deal with this reunion. For one, I wanted to pounce on her and hug her into next week. But my head wouldn't comply and stayed attached to the pillow. I was glad she was alive and safe like I promised myself she would be. She obviously thought the same—with me. A tear escaped from her eyes and I squeezed her hands.

"God, don't you start with the water works, you'll only get me going." I scoffed. She shook her head.

"I thought you were d—" I cut her off.

"I told you I wouldn't leave you. I keep my promises." I said wiping her tears away. She sniffed and smiled trying to make light of the situation.

"Yeah, well you also told me miracles didn't happen." She looked over at Dimitri with sadness. I could feel a little guilt seeping out of her but there was a lot of sorrow. I had a lot of that too. I followed her stare and sighed.

"Yeah, I guess I was wrong on that one." My eyes lingered on Dimitri's frame for a little while.

"You saved him you know. He wouldn't be breathing if it weren't for you." I grimaced because I was sure I didn't quite save him. In fact, I had thought I had killed him.

"Spirit saved him." I mumbled. She shook her head.

"You got us out Rose, you saved me. Adrian. Him. Everybody. You're the hero Rose. We're all in your debt." I shook my head again.

"I was just doing what anyone else would do to protect their family."

She smiled at the mention of family. Neither she nor I had a real family. Well, technically I had a mother and father still, though we weren't all that close, considering my mom was a guardian, and my dad, was a rogue mobster that roamed the globe. But Lissa? I'd known her all my life and claimed as my family, as well as all the rest of my friends I had made here inside the Academy. Well, at-least it seemed like we were family.

"Still, I'm glad you were there." She said a moment later. I nodded.

"Don't mention it." I said. We sat in silence, drinking in each others presence, happy to know that each other survived. After a moment. Lissa spoke up.

"Adrian's here, you wanna see him?" My eyes raised alarm.

"He is?" She nodded.

"He sat in that seat beside you, everyday since you were bought in here four days ago." She said pointing toward an uncomfortable hospital chair. I winced. I'd been unconscious for four days? Oh my God. No wonder my stomach felt like a tire had treaded over it. I was four days deprived from food.

"Four days? That's…" I was cut off when Adrian entered the room. His neck was bandaged up, and his left arm held in a sling. I held his stare for what felt like ages. I hadn't seen him since he had dream-walked in on me, and he was lying close to unconsciousness in that graveyard. I was sure he was going to die, I was just happy to have seen him again. Alive. He had an almost hollow expression on him, but it dispersed as soon as he smiled. He cleared his throat and looked at Lissa. She soon got the hint and smiled awkwardly.

"Here, why don't I give you two some space? I'll see you in a bit." Lissa stood up and kissed me on the cheek when Adrian approached me. _Glad you're back with us, with me._ Lissa sent through the bond and she waved her goodbyes, telling me she'll come see me later. I turned my attention to Adrian.

"Hey…" I murmured. He gave me his signature devious smile I loved so much.

"Hey…" He said giving me a once over. My attention went back to his left arm and his sling. He sure didn't look any better than I did. Though, I must've looked poorly presentable seeming how the pain felt just as bad. He nodded toward my garment.

"You look kind-a hot in a head bandage and hospital gown." I scoffed trying to laugh but it hurt to do so. I grunted instead.

"You don't look so bad yourself with the sling. I almost want one." He chuckled and my smile turned to something teasing. I patted the space next to me so he could sit down. He did. I shuffled over so that he was hanging half off the bed, and he laid his head next to me. He seemed to be lost in thought as he glanced down at me. He kissed me on my forehead.

"Glad you're okay." He murmured and brushed his thumbs on my face. He sighed. I furrowed my eyebrows at the silence that followed and shuffled so I could see him better.

"So what now?" I asked. He shrugged and I absent mindedly played with his shirt collar.

"I have no clue. It's like, the world's cruel way of telling me I'm being punished." He said and peeked over at Dimitri in sorrow.

I followed his gaze and knew just then what he meant by that. I knew what the hollow expression he had on his face, had meant now. I saw this coming. _We_ saw this coming. He knew now that Dimitri yet again would be the centre of my attention and troubles. But something had changed, because now I felt my attention being drawn toward Adrian just as much. In fact, I often found myself torn between both. But I couldn't be selfish, and Adrian didn't deserve to be treated like this. Though, it was unintentional on my behalf. It was time to start taking other peoples feelings into account. Adrian's in particular.

He sighed as if he had the same thought as I did. He kissed me on the forehead in a subtle attempt to dismiss himself. I caught him by the shirt.

"Hey, where are you going?" He paused and his mouth twitched as if he was about to say something. He looked over at Dimitri.

"Ah…I kind-a got the impression that three's a crowd." He said finally. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh yeah? Well in that case…I was maybe, kind-of hoping I'd get a two for one deal…you know to spice things up." I teased, quoting one of his many innuendos he pulled on me. I had meant it as a joke, but there was something hidden in the context that had some truth to it. He scoffed.

"I deserved that." He seemed amused. Then he sighed almost wistfully.

"What's wrong?" I asked, noticing his turn of face. He sat back down so that he was on the edge, facing me. He avoided my eyes for the most part, playing with the chotki bracelet Lissa must've put on me. I frowned. Maybe she'd put it on me while I was unconscious for the past four days. I hadn't seen it since I went to Russia. To find Dimitri. I shook my thoughts and focused on Adrian.

"Adrian…? What's up?" I urged him to spill what was on his mind. He shrugged.

"I don't know. I was just thinking…about you and me. And I guess this talk has been overdue." This raised an alarm of interest. The talk? Oh god! The talk was never a good sign, let alone that we'd even come to that stage.

"What do you mean?" I asked. He finally looked at me.

"Rose, we know this isn't working. Whatever _this_ is. You know it. I know it. It's just not working." I gulped. When a sentence started like that, it was definitely not a good sign. He carried on when I didn't answer.

"—we're kidding ourselves, or at-least. _I'm_ kidding myself. I guess I knew that much." He sighed again.

"Adrian…? Don't…I get it." I really didn't want to deal with this right now. I couldn't deal with the heart-ache. I had too much of it already, and he'd just be adding to the wreckage. He nodded his head as soon as he read my understanding. Or denial for that matter.

"What brought all of this on?" I stammered. Okay, now the denial was settling in. I knew this wasn't going anywhere, but I just…didn't think I'd get this slammed in my face so soon. I guess I had been too comfortable with him, that I didn't think he'd be the one to break it off. He stopped playing with the chotki and ran a hand threw his hair. He let out a humorless laugh, as if a thought came to his mind.

"You know, it's funny. I knew what I was getting myself into and yet I couldn't help involving my heart at the same time." His stare seemed far away now. I looked up in sorrow.

"Adrian, you don't have to—"

He shook his head. "I know, but I want to. I _need _to. You once told me that you don't know where your heart is. Me? I never knew I had one...until I met you. I guess it was only fair to say I deserve everything I get thrown back at me. I mean I've broken many girls' hearts and never really thought anything about it. How much pain they must go through from someone else's rejection. I guess, karma does have its cruel ways of creeping up on you when you least expect it." I furrowed my eyebrows eyes glassy from his words.

"What are you trying to say?" My voice broke a little. I knew what he was trying to say, but I guess I just didn't want this to be happening. He smiled and squeezed my hand.

"That you'll always have a place in my heart...and that I've finally accepted the fact that there's no room in yours to fit me in there, and that's okay. I'm just glad you gave me a chance to see that." He wiped a tear that escaped from me.

"Don't cry my little dhampir. Save those moments for when necessary. You need not to waste it on me, or to ruin your beautiful face on my account. Just know that my heart will always be yours, whether you choose to keep it or not, is entirely up to you." He got up off the bed and took my hand. His lips gently brushed over the back of my hand for a long moment and he bowed.

"It's been a pleasure to have known you my little dhampir. I guess I should thank you for showing me what love could've been like. Let's just hope _he_ is able to give you everything _I_ couldn't." And that's when my tears released for their final course. I don't know why, but lately my emotions had been a little out of whack, and it was like I couldn't help but cry. Very un-Rose-like. He kissed me on the forehead one last time and bid his farewell.

I felt like I had just been severed with a jagged knife.

Almost like I suffered my second heartache in less than a year. Dimitri turning Strigoi had probably been my first, but he was now lying next to me, peacefully on a gurney. I lay there just staring at the ceiling for hours. Hurt from his words, though they were sweet, I couldn't help but feel a little pain surging in my chest.

Heartache seemed to follow me wherever I went. Throwing me in uncanny situations, but never had I thought I would be torn between two men. I was ashamed to say that I loved both and Adrian breaking up what almost never happened was the end of one. Now for the other.

I sighed and looked over to my left. I don't think my heart was strong enough if I learned that I lost Dimitri too. At least he was breathing. I knew that much. Dimitri lay there in full idle mode. I wanted to touch him, just to see if he was real—and I know how stupid that must have sounded—but what do you expect from a girl?

When just days and days earlier the love of your life had been a Strigoi, only to find out that he was sleeping next to you now as a Dhampir. I guess miracles did happen and as my eyes lingered on his features, so much I had wanted to say but right now, all I wanted to do was to touch him. Just to see if I wasn't dreaming.

I was shaken out of my reverie when a sharp pain stabbed my stomach. It felt like it was turning over like I'd swallowed a beast, yet I had an empty stomach. I'd have to eat and make up for the four days I missed. I ignored it and lay there restless from fatigue. I was so tired, almost as if I hadn't slept at all.

My eyes finally pulled shut and sleep enveloped me…or so I thought.

I felt lips running over my jugular. Teasing and sucking my vein, and god it felt good. I missed the warmth of skin on skin, heating me up. I shuddered in a good way. Fingers brushing over my skin, caressing—melting under his touch—I felt the urge to say I love you.

Oh god how I loved the feel of those hands, those lips, kissing and licking.

Mouth so swollen from it—my cheeks felt flushed. I pulled back and hovered over his face to stare at him, mesmerized at his features. He smiled. My blond hair cascading over the sides of…Christians face? I frowned. Wait…blonde hair? Christians lips…

_Oh fuck!_ I realized now that I was in Lissa's head and this wasn't a dream at all. I'd been pulled into her head involuntarily. This was really happening except _I _wasn't the one who was having sex. It was…_Lissa and Christian_. Oh fuck no! They'd apparently met up in their old 'lair' in the attic of the church. I tried to shake myself awake. But all I could feel was Christian's hands and then…

Oh God! Wake up! Wake up!

More panting, lips sucking, chest moving…Oh god, get me out of here!

I mentally forced myself out of her head and came awake. I started panting a little bit, eyes blinking trying to make out where I was. Damp strings of hair clung to my face, I was sweaty. I saw the gurney and Dimitri and sighed. Happy to see Dimitri.

Happy to be in my own head. I rubbed my eyes. God, now _that_ was a nightmare. I really hated when that happened, and it usually happened when I had no control over it. I shuddered. I swore never to go to sleep again. Well, I wished I didn't have to sleep if I had to put up with that ever again. I groaned. This was the last thing I wanted on my mind.

I found my feet and made a break for the bathroom. I scowled at the loose hospital gown I was in. I had to remind Lissa to pick up a few of my clothes, because this gown was getting a little old having to wear it.

I splashed cold water over my face trying to wake me up more. In fact, I felt like scrubbing myself just to get rid of the memory. Peering into the mirror, my face looked gaunt, with dark circles under my eyes. The head bandage didn't help either. I grimaced. I looked dead, in every sense of the words.

_No wonder Adrian broke up with you. You look pathetic!_ My mind chastised. I went back to bed hoping I didn't have to fall asleep, when I noticed a huge pile of 'get well' cards on the nightstand. Some with 'get well' balloons, flowers and small gifts from everyone. Wow! I never knew how many people cared. Well, I expected a little, not a lot.

I recognized most of the senders just by their form of writing and I decided to read them and sit by Dimitri's gurney as if I were reading it out to an audience. Most of them were addressed to me. But there was one card in the bunch that stood out to me.

I picked up a red envelope from the pile that was addressed to Dimitri. It was sent from Baia. This piqued my interest. I was reluctant to open it, having thought I might invade too much of his privacy. I bit my lip and put it back on the stand, only to pick it back up five minutes later. I turned it over in my hands and all that read on the back was a stamp from Russia. What if it was important? I held it up in front of Dimitri's sleeping figure.

"I hope you don't mind me opening your mail." I smiled a little, realizing I was talking to myself.

"You can always stop me." I bit my lip. "How about I make a deal? Wake up now and that way you can read it to me. If you'd rather me read it, just say nothing."

No answer. Of course, I must've looked like a crazy person. Obviously talking to myself. I shrugged.

"The tribe has spoken…I'm going to open it." And before I knew it, my hands were already ripping it open. I'd recognized the writing instantly because Viktoria's I's where dotted with little hearts; one of the earlier memories of when I hung out with her while she did her homework. I made myself comfortable on the edge of his bed and read out loud:

"_Dearest Dimka..."_ I smiled at that introduction. I never really got used to his Russian nickname, or understood them. I shook my thoughts and carried on.

"_The family here was so overwhelmed by the news that you have come back to us. It was no wonder any of us could write to you in an upheaval state. It was a miracle we couldn't seem to grasp. Mamma had made a ton of your favorite foods and that black bread you like so much when we heard of all the excitement. Mamma was so happy, she couldn't stop baking. Grandma Yeva says she knew it all along. That, her fortunes were always 'good' and promised that you will pull through. We all are counting on you to pull through and hope to receive a letter as soon as you can. On other matters, I don't want to stress you too much of anything trivial such as my recent behavior, but I want to express to you that I'm doing well at school this time round. I haven't been in trouble since Rose's recent visit. I guess she was right. Rolan was a loser. I wish I could tell her I was sorry. In fact I'm dating Kolya one of my best-friends. You remember Nikolai? Yeah, he's good to me I promise you and respects me like no other. He reminds me of you in more ways than one, he hopes that he has as much courage and strength as you when he is of age. On another note. You may have learnt that Sonya gave birth to a beautiful baby girl Uliana Belikova this spring. She's a fighter just like her uncle Dimka. Paul is growing up so much, he's getting tall, I swear he's just like you. He idolizes you and wishes to hear of your coming home. The girls send their love and wish for you to come see us whenever you get the time to. My dearest brother I leave you with one more note that you give my deepest apologies and love to Rose. She's exactly what Grandma Yeva had said. She's your savior in more ways than one and we are truly blessed to have her in our lives._

_Your loving sister_

_Viktoria."_

I don't know how many times I had read that note. Viktoria had finally forgiven me for having interfered with her and Rolan. He was a Moroi and not a good one, so I knew what he was capable of and didn't want Viktoria to put herself out there like that, but still; it didn't give me the right to intervene. I was quite happy of her recent relationship with Kolya-Nikolai who I met once during my visit in Baia, but Viktoria was oblivious to his affections then.

Now they were happy as ever. I was almost satisfied to a point, considering Dimitri was still in a coma and hadn't pulled through…as of yet. I put the card back on the side table next to his bed. I searched for his hands, and held them in mine. My thoughts willing him to wake up. I smiled as a thought came to mind.

"Dimitri…you know, you're getting a bit lazy now. Wake up already. We need you,_ I_ need you." I whispered while I absent-mindedly played with his fingers.

Smoothing my thumb over the broad width of it. I marveled at his hands. They were always so masculine yet they were long and thin, like piano fingers. I laced my fingers with his and let my head lie beside him. I could barely fit, but I managed to shuffle comfortably by his side. I stared at him a long while letting my eyes drink in every detail.

_I just want to know if you're okay. _I silently thought. I must've fallen asleep next to him because I woke up to the smell of food. I jumped when I felt a twitch of his fingers in my palm. I frowned.

"Dimitri?" I croaked. I looked up and I saw a nurse smiling at me as she placed the food down on a tray. She disappeared and I sat up. I was still holding his hand, but I felt Dimitri squeeze it. Another twitch and my heart beat went AWOL. I called for Dr. Olendski immediately. She came in and done a quick check over.

"I swear, his fingers moved." I said to avoid the dreadful silence. After what looked like complete satisfaction, she shook her head and scribbled something down on a chart.

"I'm afraid it's only a muscle spasm. Happens all the time. He's conscious to some extent though. I'll advise you to keep talking to him, it seems he maybe getting used to your voice." I nodded.

"What if he doesn't wake up?" I said without another thought. She shook her head.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Keep talking to him, and see if he responds to your voice. Then we'll be getting somewhere. On another note. I've got news for you. Here why don't you come sit down by my desk." She smiled and this made me wary. I did and followed and she gave me some water to drink.

"What is it? Am I going to be okay?" Her smile grew wider and nodded.

"We done various amount of tests on you, but we overlooked the obvious. It seems we found what our machines were picking up. It's a miracle we could even do tests like this seeming how its still in the early stages. Researchers are beside themselves." I shook my head. Confused couldn't even begin to cover it.

"What…I'm sorry, what are you trying to say?" I asked.

"You're pregnant Rose." Dr. Olendski said in what looked like a congratulations. I bolted upright and nearly sent the chair flying behind me.

"I'm what?" I shrieked. This wasn't happening this was so not happening.

"I know, we're still figuring out the possibilities especially how early it is to tell. But we did more than three tests and the outcome's identical to the first." I shook my head.

"Well do another one. I can't be pregnant. It's just not possible." I stated as a matter of fact. She frowned.

"We're positive Rose. Here you can see for yourself." She handed me a specimen bag with a pen-like stick in it. I studied it for a moment and there in the middle was a + sign. I panicked again.

"This must be a mistake. I can't be pregnant. I haven't had sex in—" I nearly choked just as a thought formed in my mind. I was about to say in a year, but that wasn't true wasn't it? I'd had sex recently and not just with anyone, but with Dimitri—when he was a…Strigoi. My heart felt like it stopped beating for a second. _Impossible. Strigoi couldn't reproduce…could they?_ I shook my head, refusing to believe it.

"No. I'm not, you're wrong. I want you to take the test again." I said stiffly. She eyed me warily but more over concern than anything. She reluctantly nodded.

"Sure, we'll get right on it. Do you want anything? Your foods there if you want it. But can I get you anything else? Clothes?" How about a new life? One that didn't involve twists and turns. I shook my head. I wasn't in the mood for eating or dressing.

I wanted to slump into a hole and never come out. After she left, I crawled back on his bed, refusing to leave him on his own. Well, it was more for my comfort than anything. I wouldn't have been surprised if Dr. Olendski already suspected an intimate relationship between us, having found me numerous of times cuddled up next to him, but never spoke a word of it. I couldn't care less. I just wanted him to wake up. _You're pregnant Rose. _

I squeezed my eyes shut. Oh God, as much as I hated what she had said about me being pregnant. Some part of me liked the idea that Dimitri would be a father. But knowing that I'd been with child to a Strigoi? I couldn't even stand to think about it. I whispered in his ear.

"Dimitri…? You have to wake up…for me okay?" I sighed. _For us._ I frowned at the thought. It was almost a reflex of mine to have thought that up. I lay my head back on his bed and curled up beside him. My mind flitted through the events that had taken place in the past.

The masquerade ball, the kidnappings, the motel.

I squeezed my eyes shut remembering the motel. It was the most vivid memory I had of him. _I'm pregnant?_ God, that sounded more absurd than finding out Strigoi could turn back to their former selves. I lay there, thinking about it. I wasn't ready to be a mother. I was a teenager for fuck sakes! I shook my thoughts. God, I'd been so eager to grow up in these last couple of months, never had I thought I would be a mother. Not in a million years. And if true? Would I like it? Could I love this thing growing inside me? After all it was a seed of a Strigoi.

I looked down at my stomach and imagined a large bump there. _This has to be false. It was just not possible._ I looked at Dimitri. What would I say to him if he woke up? He couldn't know what he'd done to me, he'd only freak out. Especially now that he was supposedly a Dhampir.

_No! I__ can't tell him...or anyone for that matter. I won't._

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_****__A/N:__ Umm I dont know if that chapter was any good LOL but it'll have to do. I swear I'm writing the next chapter up so you don't have to wait so long (I know you must feel like ripping your hair out because I've become FF worst nightmare and taken long to update, but I'm slowly getting out of my shell LOL hope you like, please review because I love what you guys have to say! Thanks in advance ;)_


	15. Chapter Fifteen

_**A/N: **__Here you go guys! I promised you a chapter, and I try to keep my promises LOL Hope you like it! This chapters mainly for all you DimitriXRose fanatics ;) Oh and just a little FYI, this story would have two more chapters plus an Epilogue and it'll be the end of It, I'm sorry to say. BUT don't fret because finishing this story would help me focus strictly on my Last Sacrifice story. Read 'em and weep! LOL _

**Disclaimer: **Richelle Mead owns VA and all its characters; unfortunately I'm just a fandom wannabe who borrowed these awesome characters to do what I want. NO copyright infringement intended. Just for fanfic purposes only.

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**Chapter Fifteen **

**I **WAS DISCHARGED FROM THE hospital a few days later, but there was still no change with Dimitri.

In fact, weeks and weeks went by and he'd remained in his idle state. I visited him nearly everyday, willing him to wake up, but all I was able to get out of him was a mere twitch here and there. Muscle spasms, so I was told. Still, I had faith he'd pull through.

I was just hoping it would be soon, but I guess waiting was all I could do.

It was good to have my old room back though, and more so my own clothes—plus I was just glad to be with my friends again. My bandage had come off my head, sporting twelve stitches and my color had slowly come back to me.

Food, I devoured like I used to, but this time, certain meals had started to make me want to hurl. Say for instance: Meat and fish. We were in the commons having dinner when Christian slammed his tray down beside me, with a slice of meat loaf sitting on top of his plate. I grimaced and cupped my hand over my mouth holding my breath. He sat down while Lissa scurried up to fetch herself some water.

I almost gagged right then and there just from the smell of it. That's when Christian gave me a side-long glance.

"_What?_ You have something against my new cologne?" He accused and cocked an eyebrow studying me curiously.

I rolled my eyes. Lissa had told me that she bought him some new cologne after their first 'reunion-get-together' in the attic, and he'd been cocky enough to flaunt it everywhere.

I grimaced. I couldn't exactly tell Lissa _or _Christian that I'd already knew about that because I had seen her give it to him after I spent a little short time in her head _while_ they were 'getting together'. Involuntarily might I add? I shook my head trying not to let my mind wander into that nightmare. And as much as that cologne seemed to make me sick, it was more of what was on his plate that had done it for me. I shook my head.

"No. It's your food that's obviously passed its use-by-date." I grimaced. He took a whiff at his plate and frowned.

"What _this?_ No way. It's fresh from the batch." He stated as a matter of fact then stuffed his mouth making me want to hurl even more.

"Ugh! Seriously, you're really gonna eat that? It smells like wet socks." I said in disgust still covering my mouth. He smirked.

"In that case, I should've bought you a plate." I wrinkled my nose.

"No thanks…" I jerked my head back as he held his plate up to my nose.

"You sure look like you can do with some meat loaf." He teased.

That's what did it for me. I bolted upright and made a beeline escape to the bathroom. Flipping open the toilet lid and collapsed on the ground with my head over the bowl. I'd basically hurled up my entire dinner in three seconds. I groaned and slowly felt the cold sweats creeping up on me. Seconds later I felt the dry heaves coming on, and it started all over again. Finally it was over and I collapsed on the floor, leaning up against the door. I vaguely heard footsteps coming toward me and Lissa calling my name.

"Rose! Rose! Is everything okay?" She knocked on the cubicle door and I quickly wiped my face and flushed. I got up and put a fake smile on my face, opening the door. I tried my hardest to hide what I'd been feeling.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just the after effects from the drugs they've got me on." I shook my head. "_Doctors_." I said in exasperation. She eyed me warily.

"Christian said you'd be in here. And that you couldn't get away fast enough. But he didn't say you look terrible." I gave her a lazy smirk.

"Thanks Liss. Your flattery always gives me an ego boost." She felt my forehead apparently ignoring my comment and protesting.

"Oh God Rose! You're burning up. You really need to see a doctor!" She exclaimed. Her worries piercing through the bond. I shook my head furiously now. I was done with doctors. There was nothing they could say that would keep me from going insane. Seeing a doctor was the last thing on my mind. I didn't want to know the outcome. I didn't want to accept the fact that I was supposedly pregnant _or_ for them to _reassure _me that I was pregnant. I glared at her.

"No. No doctors. I'm fine. I just need to sleep it off." She didn't seem to think that was a good idea.

"Rose, I'm just worried about you. You've been…anxious since you left the hospital." I frowned.

"I have?" She nodded.

"It's like; you've got this thing hanging over your shoulder that you can't get rid of. I see it sometimes with you. Almost _everytime_ it's something that I should be worried about." I pursed my lips.

Lissa didn't know how close to home she was hitting with her speculations. I sighed.

"Yeah. It's just…this whole thing with Dimitri, and him being in a coma has me nervous that's all."

I bit my lip and made my way to the sink to splash water over my face, hoping she didn't catch my lie. Well, technically it was true. I was worried shitless about him, wondering if he was going to wake up, but that was only the base of it. Especially considering how I was supposedly pregnant. I winced. I was never going to get used to that word or that sentence. Wiping my face I looked at Lissa through the mirror. Her face still worried as hell. I rolled my eyes.

"I told you I'm fine Liss. Don't worry, I promise I'll ask for help when I need it. This isn't one of those times." She studied my face to see if there was any truth in the words I spoke. After she was somewhat satisfied. She forced a smile of her own. I could tell she was still worried, from the feeling she was sending me through the bond.

"Okay. But promise me you'll see Dr. Olendski as soon as you feel…less than fine?" I groaned.

"Fine. Scouts honor. Whatever." I saluted her and she gave me a small smile. She squeezed my hand.

"Well, in that case, are you still up for a night out?" I resisted the urge to refuse. Damn! Maybe I should've said I was kind of sick. A night out was the last thing on my mind.

"A night out? Where?" Her smile took on a wry smirk.

"A bunch of us are going to the courtyard tonight to light a bonfire. Well at least it was intended for a small crowd, but apparently Kirova gave us the get-go after mindless begging about how the last one went. Plus, Graduations due this Friday, so everyone thought one last party would be the best way to go out." I had a little time to register what she had said. Graduation? It was this Friday? God, why so soon. I nodded absent-mindedly.

"Oh yeah, I heard about that. Still don't get why we have to have another party, let alone a party with a _theme_." I rolled my eyes. We'd already had a graduation theme party at the court, but that didn't go as well as planned; now we were having another one? Lissa met my stare.

"Are you kidding? 'The Garden of Eden' is an awesome theme. Especially because it's in the garden behind the church. It seemed fitting at the time. So, you up for it?" I pondered over that.

Should I really be going to a party? I had a reflex to touch my stomach, but stopped the gesture before Lissa noticed. I reluctantly nodded.

"Yeah I'm up for it." I said in a high pitch voice. It was a complete lie of course, but I couldn't exactly turn down a party with my given rep.

They'll only suspect something was wrong with me. And I'd be beside myself if anyone were to find out what I'd been completely in denial for the past several weeks. I wasn't going tell anyone I was pregnant—to a Strigoi even. No. They'll only judge me. I just, couldn't deal with that shit right now; no one was going to know. As much as it killed me to lie to Lissa. I just couldn't deal with the embarrassment. She smiled happy with what I said.

"Good. Because I already bought you a dress. It's on your bed." She chuckled when she saw my face. I rolled my eyes. Right, I knew either way I would have to go to this party, and I knew what Lissa was like. She'd only persuade me to go anyhow. I let her drag me out of the bathroom after that and we made plans to meet up before midnight.

I'd been in my towel, fresh from a shower when I heard a knock at the door. I frowned. It was only nine o clock. It was too early for Lissa to be picking me up. I shrugged on a robe and opened the door. It was a hall matron that excused him self for interrupting.

I could tell by his blush that he meant it. Noticing I wasn't half as decent as I should've been. He handed me an envelope with my name on it. I studied the note for a second. _What the hell could this be? _I wondered if I should tip him, but he scurried off before I could even say thanks. I kicked the door closed and tore the top off the envelope. This should be interesting. I wonder who it was from. It read:

_Rose…_

_I heard the good news. You got what you wanted in more ways than one. I hope to see you well and recovered and of course Belikov too. I just hope you haven't forgotten our little arrangement. I've done my part, now it's up to you to do yours. And we all know all good things come with a price. _

_P.S. My appeals been approved so you might be seeing me sooner than you thought. I'm confident that everything will turn out for the better. Thought you'd like to know, just incase you were planning on forfeiting your part of the deal. _

_V D_

I cursed under my breath. Fuck. I was hoping he would forget about that.

God, what was I thinking? In exchange for Dimitri's soul, I'd promised Victor that Lissa would heal him again. I thought he wanted me to break him out, but apparently that was trivial to him. He'd ended up with his sickness again, and wanted Lissa to work her magic.

Make him young again, and I'd agreed just to have Dimitri back. Lissa was oblivious to this, but I'd stooped that low at the price of what? God damn! I was going to dread the next few years of my life. I wasn't sure what was worst: Telling Lissa I'd used her to get Dimitri back, especially to the likes of Victor, or, having to tell people I was pregnant…to a Strigoi? I grimaced. Yeah, maybe it would be best to keep the latter to myself.

At-least just until I got my head around it. And as for his appeal. Ugh! I don't know why Tatiana was allowing an appeal for the man, let alone approving the damn thing. This made me wonder if she was really fit to be sitting on that throne. Once upon a time I had liked the idea of Victor ascending the throne. But now? That vanished along with the hopes of anything good coming from that appeal.

Let's hope it didn't go his way like he was hoping it would.

I threw the note down on my bed next to the dress Lissa had gotten me. If I'd been anxious before? Then I sure must have looked troubled now. Trying to forget about it, I stared at the dress Lissa had spoilt me to.

It was a short earthy green cocktail looking dress. The straps were chocolate brown braided and criss-crossed at the back of it. It hung loose at the bottom, flowing just above the knee and tight at the bust. It would accentuate my curves nicely.

I held it up by the straps. It looked really great. I smiled at the leafy crown with white tulips embedded in it that sat beside it. I pictured myself wearing it. I almost laughed; knowing that I'd look like a walking tree. This should be interesting.

After hair and makeup, I shrugged the dress on and the crown and studied myself in the mirror. I grimaced. Was it me, or did this dress make me look fat? I smoothed out the front of the dress, letting my hand linger on the base of my stomach. How the hell was I going to hide a pregnancy? Everyone would notice the change in my body. God, if _I_ did at this stage? Then I could only imagine what people would think when I'm further along. I slipped on some wedges and forced myself to forget about it. At least for the night.

I snatched up my camera that Lissa reminded me to bring and met up with her in the courtyard. I marveled at the place. I mean, it was already a nice place, with the flowers blooming and all, but this was…wow.

It had been transformed into a garden sanctuary. Fairy lights scattered above us to give the garden a dim sort of lighting. Solar lights marked the concrete walkways. A bon fire that looked more like a torch statue. The school even hired statues of Greek masterpieces as well as water fountains and stuff like that. Maybe it was to make up for the disaster graduation party Tatiana put on at the Royal Court.

I skimmed the crowd looking for Lissa. People dressed in all different earthy tones. Browns, greens, yellow and even white. It was standard dress code for the males to wear white tuxedos though, so the male genre was almost identical clones for the night. The girls however, were allowed free range with their outfits, but people kept to the theme. It was amazing. The girls all wore the same crown as I had on too.

Though, the guardians worked like shadows in the background as usual. I smiled when I spotted Lissa. She looked like an angel in a gossamer peach dress. She reminded me of a Roman goddess dressed how she was.

Her platinum blonde hair cascading over her shoulders, and like me she too had a crown. But hers wasn't the leafy look like mine took on; hers almost looked like a halo. Her face lit up as soon as she spotted me. She squealed and squeezed me into a hug.

"You look awesome, Rose. I knew you'd look good in green." I grunted and protested under the hug.

"Yeah, not my color of choices though. It kind-a makes me look fat." She rolled her eyes.

"Nothing makes you look fat. You look great—no amazing." I smiled. That was so Lissa-like. Always knew what to say.

"You're my best friend. You _have_ to say that." I noticed her face glowed for a second. But not at me, she was looking past me.

"Well, _I _don't and I agree. You look nice." I swung around behind me and met my eyes with icy blue ones, and his hair actually looked like he'd tamed it a little with gel. It was Christian who just so happen to be in a white tuxedo, making his dark hair seem more dominant.

The contrast was striking actually. He seemed uncomfortable in it. Always tugging at the blazer and pulling at his collar. Now I knew why Lissa's expression went from glowing to surprise. Seeing Christian in a tux was one thing, but seeing him out of black was a whole different story. I don't think I've ever seen him out of black. He looked really good actually.

"Er…thanks. Wow! You're like, in white? I don't think that's ever happened." I admitted out loud. He grimaced.

"Don't remind me." He mumbled looking down at his clothes. Lissa giggled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Oh Christian. You look charming." She crooned. I nodded.

"Uh huh. So…smile prince charming." Before he could protest, the flash had already gone off from my camera. Lissa's reflex was a fast pout-and-pose just in time to catch the flash.

"Now _that's_ going on my wall-of-shame." I chuckled as I looked at the picture. Lissa whined like she'd been insulted by having her picture near a wall of shame. I smiled.

"You have one of those?" Christian groaned.

"I do now!" I chided. Lissa snatched the camera off me and gave it to Christian.

"Now take one of me and Rose." She jumped beside me and wrapped her arms around my waist. Cheeks squeezed up side by side and our lips pouted to the camera. One thing never changed about the two of us. We were photogenic, more so Lissa than me. We posed a couple more photos and Lissa insisted to take a few more. I had to literally peel her away from the lenses. I had to remind her to save the film for other people.

"Do you ladies want some drinks?" Christian asked. I looked to where he was pointing. Some royals had set up a juice bar with drinks. Although it was a non-alcoholic party, the students still kept up the spike-the-punch-when-no-ones-watching scheme. Lissa glowed at that.

"Ooh. I'll have one. No ice." Christian nodded and turned to me.

"Rose?" They waited expectantly.

"Ah…I'll have a…" Shit! I bit my lip. "—um. I'm fine actually. I'll just have water." So much for that one. Good one Rose. Now they're going to suspect something. Christian cocked his eyebrow.

"Water? Since when did you—ouch." Lissa hit him in the arm giving him a look. She must have seen my anxiety again. I almost thought she knew what I was going through, but then she returned a smile.

"She's fresh out of hospital. She's good with water." He didn't argue and stubbornly muttered a 'fine' and went to retrieve our drinks. I smiled at that. It was like the two of them were an old married couple. I nodded at Lissa.

"Thanks." She shrugged.

"What are friends for, right?" I smiled. She was oblivious to the fact that she'd just saved me from a lot of explaining.

"Right." I agreed. "Now, let's get this party started then eh?" I said finally. Her eyes lit up at that statement. She liked that idea. We mingled into the crowd and talked to friends, and made conversation.

They'd even hired a local band. I forgot the name, but they were good. Just then the band had finished up a song and the guy over the mic announced that a slow song was up next dedicating it to all those 'couples' out there. I groaned. Just what I needed. A sad slow song to remind me of my own pathetic love life; which may as well be non-existent. Christian came back with the drinks and he invited Lissa up for a dance a few seconds later.

Lissa felt sorry for me and she was this close to refusing, but I shook my head and told her to go up and enjoy herself. She reluctantly complied and left me standing by a Greek statue. I stood there watching girls and guys being invited up to dance. Wrapped up together and looking so happy.

I yearned to have that feeling. That security with a man. I saw Eddie and Mia dancing by Lissa and Christian and smiled, and then my smile faltered a little when I noticed Adrian across from me and my smile turned a little wistful. But as usual, every time he'd smiled and waved I remembered the sweet Adrian again and I couldn't resist.

I returned the gesture hoping he didn't catch on to my sorrow. A girl had asked him up to dance a few seconds later and he looked like he was uncomfortable that I'd see him with another girl. I smiled and nodded to him as if he were seeking my blessing and he gave me a wink. Though it killed me to see him with another girl, I was happy that he was free to move on. I sighed and felt like ditching this party to hole up in my room. All of this couple-watching only reminded me what I didn't have.

I screwed my polystyrene cup up and discarded it in the bin, deciding to leave now, or make my heart bleed more. I almost had a head on collision with Alberta as we crossed paths. I stopped inches away excusing myself for not watching where I was walking.

"Hi Rose." She smiled, but there was a haunted look behind her smile.

"Guardian Petrov. Hi." I greeted. She nodded, and I noticed now that her expression looked pained, like bad news was about to follow. It was the same look I had on _me_ when I learned Mason had died. My heart stopped for a moment, thinking of Dimitri. Oh God no! _Please don't be Dimitri. Please don't be Dimitri!_ I think I chanted that twenty times before I worked up the courage to ask what was the matter. She hesitated and I urged her to continue.

"Go ahead. My life can't get any worst." She seemed to wince at that. She sighed.

"Rose. There's no easy way to say this…but—" I squeezed my eyes shut hoping I didn't have to hear what she was going to say.

"It's Dimitri isn't it? He's…dead?" I whispered. I kept my flinch to myself. She blinked and cleared her throat.

"Guardian Belikov?" Her voice was questioning, and disbelieving. "No. It's not him. He's fine. Actually, he's recovered. He was awake and everything, well he was when I went to see him this morning. His memory's a little…hazy and he barely remembers anything that happened, but other than that he's fine." My eyes peeled open in shock, and relief.

"He is? Dimitri's awake?" She nodded.

"Yeah, he's even been out of his bed. They discharged him an hour ago."

I'm sure I must've looked shell-shocked by now. God, that's probably the best news I've gotten in years. She regarded me expectantly. Out of all my superiors, Alberta was probably the only person who suspected a romantic relationship between Dimitri and me, but she never spoke a word of it.

"I'm surprised you didn't already know."

It surprised me too. Come to think of it. I hadn't seen him all day yesterday or today, realizing now that all this pregnancy stuff had taken over my mind. He was alive? Walking around even? I could hug her right now. I automatically remembered her early pained expression. Well, if not Dimitri…then what…or who?

"So then what's wrong?" I asked curiously. She bit her lip. Her guardian face was on again.

"We were informed of a Strigoi attack in Nepal. There was a house raid at the Szelsky's home and we just got word on the casualties. No one survived." I gulped. I recognized the name, but it could have been any Szelsky.

"Oh? What does that have to do with me?" She looked down, her eyebrows knit into a frown. Turning over words I guessed.

"Your mom was there." She said after a tiny pause. I blinked and I was sure my face blanched all over. I shook my head.

"My…mom? But she couldn't have. She's in Pennsylvania at the Royal Court." She shook her head.

"When she found out _you_ _left?_ She went back to Nepal a couple of days after_._ I told her to stay, but she couldn't deal with the fact that her charge was in someone else's care. Plus, she'd said you weren't going to come back this time." My mom had given up on me? Just like that?

"She did? So she…?" My voice was barely audible now. I couldn't seem to put together a proper sentence.

"I'm sorry Rose. I can't tell you how much I wish this wasn't happening, but Guardian Janine Hathaway was amongst the confirmed deceased." I think I choked on my own bile in my throat. I shook my head.

"Oh God!" I slammed my hand over my mouth wanting to hurl right there.

Alberta seemed to stand there awkwardly like she didn't know how to comfort me. I shook my head again. "Excuse me." I whispered and left Alberta standing there staring back at me. I had to get away. Any where but here. Away from the music. The people. I had to be by myself. I found a secluded area where a fountain was placed with a garden seat in front of it. I sat there peeling my crown off and let my tears fall. Never had I seen this one coming.

Though, my mom and I were never on best terms with each other, I'd thought our mother/daughter relationship had progressed in the last couple of weeks. Still, she was my mom, and I loved her nonetheless. I was angry that I never got to tell her that. Why? Why couldn't she have just stayed at the Royal Court? I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering what Alberta had said. _When she found out you left? She went back to Nepal a couple of days after. _

God, I must've really pissed her off for her to just leave. I couldn't get my head around this. I must have sat there for an hour or so just letting my tears go. All this built up tension I'd had in me, just poured out of me freely. No witnesses.

After the water works stopped I sat there staring into nothingness. It was like I was dried out having no more tears to cry. I rubbed at my arms and I started to feel a little chill in the air.

I wiped under my eyes hoping my makeup didn't mess up my face. I got up to leave but stopped short—caught up in a dream-state or so it seemed. My breath caught, and I almost had to do a double take to see if my eyes weren't deceiving me.

Standing there, across the garden stood Dimitri. I almost had the reflex to run, but remembering that he wasn't a Strigoi—I stopped myself. His hair was gelled back into a loose pony tail, as if he'd been fresh from a shower.

But that wasn't what made me seem so awestruck. He was in a white tux just like every other male here. No duster-like jacket. No guardian uniform, but a primed white suit. I wondered if it was tailored considering his height and I was a hundred percent sure he didn't own a suit, or at least one in white.

God, he looked beautiful. Stunning even. Our eyes locked for a long while as if our souls connected with each other. Neither of us having to say a word—almost as if the beating of our hearts sang in tune with each other—dancing to the silence. He broke our gaze finally and before I knew what he was doing, he was shrugging off his coat and walking toward me, wrapping his jacket over my shoulders.

_Oh God! I was dreaming wasn't I? This was a fricking dream?_

"Dimitri...?" I mumbled. I could feel the warmth of the jacket envelop me. He nodded and the intoxicating smell of his aftershave skimmed my nose. That was one less smell I was immune to I was sure. His expression abruptly turned wistful.

"Alberta told me about your mom. I'm so sorry." He said, and my heart beat fast like it wanted to get out. It wasn't so much the words he spoke, but more over the sound of his voice. I'd been hit with so much pain lately, but seeing him seemed to numb the pain. Like I'd never experienced pain at all. I swallowed that lump that formed in my throat.

"What are you doing here?" I asked finally. Not that I minded, but I didn't expect to see him here, and in a suit.

"I was looking for you."

I squeezed my eyes shut chanting 'this is all a dream' under my breath. I was so sure of it. I felt a brush of fingers in my hand, lacing his fingers in mine; as he raised them to his face. I felt the hard angles of his features under my skin. Freshly shaven skin. Warm, no longer Strigoi-like. It was really him? My Dimitri? I fluttered my eyes open.

"Roza…this isn't a dream. I promise. See." He touched his lips lightly on my fingers, my palm; and then my wrist and I felt a small tingle where he had kissed it. He kept his eyes on me the whole time. My breath caught for a second as I looked up into his warm brown eyes as he smiled. My eyes glassy from crying earlier, but that smile gave me butterflies. They were always so rare to him; which only made this dream seem more palpable.

A smile twitched at his lips. "You look beautiful, Roza." He murmured as his eyes roamed over my body. I liked the feeling of his eyes on me, like a soft blanket warming me all over. My heart swelled at the use of my Russian nickname on his lips. I was lost for words, and even still, I knew I'd ruin the moment by saying something.

"May I have this dance?" He asked. I gave a subtle nod, not knowing if this was real, or just something I had dreamed up. I'd never seen Dimitri dance, or in a white tuxedo for that matter. So this had to be a dream. He pulled me closer with one arm around my waist, the other intertwined with mine. The music further down the courtyard was barely audible but still we could hear. I refused to close my eyes, hoping this moment would last forever, wrapped up in his presence, and he led me into a perfect waltz across the garden. A weird thought came to mind, remembering 'The Garden of Eden' theme. Too perfect. Which brought me back to thinking this was a dream. I sighed.

"If this_ is_ a dream…please don't wake me." I whispered into the crook of his neck. He pulled back to look at me and cupped both his hands over my cheeks; smoothing the pad of his thumb over my lips absent-mindedly. His eyes lingering on my lips and my features drinking in every detail. I was doing the same. He finally met my eyes.

"Maybe this is Heaven…because right now I'm looking at an Angel." He murmured and my heart pace quickened with every word he spoke.

His slight Russian accent melting me all over. Right then, I felt like an Angel. The way he looked at me made me feel like I was higher off the ground. Touching the clouds even, because I was a goddess in his eyes. He bent down to kiss me.

Lacing his fingers in my curled hair I spent hours on. I tasted salt, from the loose tears that I'd cursed myself for having. He didn't seem to mind, always pulling me closer to him like there wasn't enough space to cover between us. God, I missed his touch. His sweet tender lips, caressing me lovingly. In the middle of our kiss, he lifted me a little so that I was almost off the ground. Literally. He pulled back, and already my lips were missing that sweet softness. He crooked me a smile.

"Still think this is a dream?" He said, I could sense a little teasing in his voice. Though my dreams were somewhat creative, I would have never been able to dream up that kiss. Or his touch. I stole one last kiss on his lips just to be sure of it and shook my head.

"No. This is definitely Heaven." He smiled and kept one hand around my waist, pulling me to his side as if to claim me. We were walking toward the crowd now, back to the party and I realized something. I stopped in midstride and gave him a side-long glance.

"Wait. Aren't you afraid of people finding out…about…you know. Me and you?" He cocked an eyebrow as if to say that was a ridiculous question.

"No. Not in the slightest. You?" I bit my lips to hide a smile shaking my head.

"Nope. But people will talk. You know how it is with teenagers and gossip." He shrugged and kissed me on my cheek.

"So let them. My ears are only open to you." He stated and kissed me on the lips, drowning me in his sweet caress, tasting better than honey. He caught my bottom lip in his teeth lightly and I had the urge to moan. He rested his forehead on mine and smiled. His expression turned thoughtful. I pulled back.

"What's wrong?" He shook his head and shrugged.

"Earlier…when I woke up, in that hospital bed? I felt the need to look for you. I could've sworn I heard your voice in my dreams, snatching me from my nightmares." I frowned.

"Nightmares?" He nodded.

"I don't remember much of my old life, all I know is. I had to see you." Wow. Alberta had said that his memory was a little hazy; I guess it was a good thing that he didn't remember anything. I smiled as he carried on. "But I couldn't work up the courage to talk to you. There were so many things I wanted to say but I knew they wouldn't come out right." I tried my hardest to keep my breathing leveled.

"You see me now." He squeezed my hand.

"I do. And I'm afraid if I blink, I'd miss it all." His eyes roamed over my lips again and I was sure he wanted to kiss them again. I wanted him to. I gave him my most alluring man-eating smile that I was so good at.

"Well, you could always tape your eyes open, then you wouldn't have to." I joked. Right then something strange happened and he barked out a laugh. A carefree laugh that was foreign to my ears, yet I'd do anything to hear it again. I joined him having felt really good to loosen up and laugh. I felt a little guilty laughing at a time like this. After finding out about my mother, well, it didn't feel right to be happy. I watched him with amusement. He shook his head trying to conceal his laughter.

"Oh Roza, you always did know how to lighten up the mood." His smile turned to admiration. "It's the reason why I love you so much." My smile faltered and I froze almost getting knocked out of my skin. I think I gasped somewhere in between. I blinked furiously unable to contain my astonishment. Those words had been a long time in coming.

"You what?" I exhaled. I had to hear it again, just to be sure. He too seemed to notice the effect of the words he spoke. He cupped my chin and forced me to look up at him. He smiled.

"I love you Roza. I always had, always will." I think I sighed in relief, at the verge of crying all over again. I kissed him hard and fierce for a longtime not wanting to break the contact. I think I surprised him, and then I wrapped my arms around him to squeeze him into a hug.

"God! I've waited a lifetime for you to say that again." I mumbled into his shoulder. He kissed my hair, smoothing it out with his hand absent-mindedly.

"Then I'll spend a lifetime saying it more." I smiled into his shirt.

Happy to have him back in my life. Maybe this day wasn't bad after all. Yeah, I'd lost a huge part of me today, after finding out my mother had died in that house raid along with the Szelsky family. But being in Dimitri's arms, made me feel like bits and pieces were slowly mending back together.

I just needed to take it one day at a time for it to build up. He'd been a big part of my life too. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach as if it was a small sign to say I was forgetting someone, and I squeezed my eyes shut trying to ignore it. _No. Not yet. This moment was too perfect to let go of right now. _I silently thought. Another pain shot through my stomach and this time I winced. Dimitri pulled back to look at me.

"Roza…what's wrong?" I shook my head trying to hide my wince, but I couldn't. The pain was too hard to ignore. I yelped and my hand went straight to my stomach. I felt lightheaded and before I knew it. I was falling and I vaguely heard my name being hollered in the background. "_Roza!" _I felt nauseous too and just then I collapsed to the ground, but before I could hit the ground, I felt arms catching me and then darkness clouded me, enveloping me.

I fainted.

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**_A/N: _**_Next chapter is Graduation and the mysteries unfold of the 'seed of a monster' so stay tuned. Don't forget to review and tell me what you think. Even if it's to say this chapter was cheesy LMAO I don't mind. I love reading you guys! It's what keeps me writing. ;) Chow for now!_


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**_A/N:_**_ Hey guys! Gosh I am SO sorry! I haven't had the time to write lately and my addiction to FB doesn't help AT all! I'm here though and I truly apologize for being so slow with the updates! FORGIVE ME? I know you love me because I LOVE YOU GUYS too! Here's the next installment and it's going to make you a little angry at Dimitri...you'll see why ;) Here's your next fix guys! Hope it's worth your time ;)_

**D****isclaimer: **I do NOT own VA series or any of its characters, Richelle Mead owns it all. I only borrowed them for this fanfic and for my own amusement and yours of course. I intend on giving them back though, when the story is over. NO copyright infringement intended.

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**Chapter Sixteen**

**I **CAME TO MY SENSES when I felt a damp cloth slithering on my forehead. I fluttered my eyes open to a blinding light...again. I grunted.

"Rose. Can you hear me?" I frowned. I was disorientated and better yet? I knew exactly where I was. The hospital. I scowled up at the person asking me questions.

"Nod if you can hear me." She repeated. I nodded warily and I immediately recognized the voice. I groaned. It was Dr. Olendski.

"You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me." I punctuated every word through my teeth. My voice a little hoarse, though I managed to clear it. I struggled to sit up and failed miserably. Dr. Olendski had a bemused expression on her face like she wasn't quite sure what to make of me, or make out what I was saying.

She busied herself by dipping the cloth into a bowl of water and wrung it out. She put it back on my forehead soothing me a little. The events all came flooding back to me. The Courtyard. The Garden of Eden theme, and Dimitri in a white tuxedo—dancing—and I was back here in the hospital. Which meant one thing. I _was_ dreaming. It had been a dream after all. My anger boiled in my brain.

"I fucking knew it!" It was a mere attempt at trying to shout, but it barely passed as a whisper. I cleared my throat hoping my voice wouldn't crack. I shook my head at my thoughts. "I fucking knew it was too good to be true!" I kept chanting that for a while. Now Dr. Olendski was worried. She seemed to hear every word.

"Knew what, Rose?" She asked finally. I looked up at her with a pained expression. Still with anger in my voice.

"That my life was destined for Hell." I muttered. _I was fucking dreaming after all! I knew it! I fucking knew it!_ My mind exclaimed. She continued nursing me still with a puzzled look on her face. I let her cool my forehead down with the cloth; actually it was a mere attempt of distraction I guessed. It was the only thing keeping me sane at this point.

"What happened to me?" I asked finally relaxing a little. She finished what she was doing and stood there staring at me.

"You passed out last night; fainted. It was just as well Guardian Belikov was there to bring you in." I frowned after what I had learned. I was shocked. Did she just say Guardian Belikov? As in Dimitri?

"Wait what…who?" I knew exactly who she was talking about, but I guess I wasn't expecting her to say his name.

"Guardian Belikov said you fainted. He carried you in here in the early hours of the morning, saying you were in pain and that you fainted right after." I raised my eyebrows in disbelief.

"He did?" _That hadn't been a dream?_ She nodded.

"He did, and it was just as well. You're one lucky girl Rose. If it wasn't for Guardian Belikov, your condition would have been worst, if not lethal." I frowned, and the only thing I could comprehend was the fact that Dimitri had really bought me in here.

"Dimitri…? He really _was_ here?" I was unable to rack my brain with all of this. Sometimes I didn't know what was real and what wasn't. Maybe this wasn't real? I shook my thoughts off. She nodded.

"Sure he was. He stepped out to get coffee. He said he'll be back in a few." I blinked again. I remembered the stabbing pain in my stomach again and it all came back to me.

"The baby!" I whispered. Something was wrong with the baby. My panic must have shown on my face, and I touched my stomach instantly. I was surprised at my anguish. Especially since I didn't want this baby at all, now, knowing I'd almost lost it. I almost felt somehow attached to it. Connected. Like it was apart of me already.

"Is everything alright with—" I choked out, but before I could finish. I felt Dr. Olendski's hand on my arm in an attempt to soothe me. She smiled.

"The baby's fine, Rose. You both were very lucky. We found a clot, but it's all been taken care of." Dr. Olendski reassured me and I found myself sighing in relief. Rubbing my stomach idly. I looked hard at my stomach thinking over what it meant to have a life inside of me. One that would result in me being responsible for it. Yeah, I was slightly anxious at the thought of having another life in my hands, but more or so, over the fact that I almost lost this little life inside of me. I pursed my lips.

"So I'm really pregnant? I'm _still _pregnant?" I looked up to meet her eyes. Eyes glassy from shock. She nodded with light in her eyes.

"Yes Rose. You're _still_ pregnant." Dr. Olendski affirmed with complete reassurance.

I caught myself smiling and rubbing at my stomach again.

A second later, both of our heads turned toward the sound of something dropping. Right there in the middle of the doorway was Dimitri. His hair was out, distressed look on his face, and he was still wearing his shirt from the party.

I noticed he'd practically taken up most of the door way. His face for lack of a better word was shell-shocked.

His gaze locked on me like he'd just caught me sleeping with a guy, or somewhere similar to what it would look like if he'd caught me doing something so foul. I gulped and stared at the dark steamy liquid spreading over the floor.

Cup rolling and I vaguely heard Dr. Olendski excuse herself before I knew Dimitri and I were alone in the room. She fussed over cleaning the spill but he said it was okay…he'd do it. His eyes stained mine for a few seconds longer, almost like he was hoping for some explanation.

I opened my mouth and closed it again, not sure of what to say.

Damn it! This was _not _how I wanted him to find out, if at all. He cleared his throat breaking our gaze and frowned at the mess he'd caused. He stayed quiet and went to cleaning the mess up straight away. It was like he deliberately ignored me for the while.

I watched in silence as he moved around the room. Neither of us saying a word. I couldn't work the courage up to say anything, and apparently, neither could he. Finally he stopped at the side of my bed to look at me and his face was cool, collective. His poker face now intact.

"Is it Ivashkov's?" He said finally.

His tone was neither demanding nor accusing. It was complete out of curiosity. I gulped. I looked down at his shoes; afraid if I looked in his eyes he'd find out the truth. A small part of me didn't want him to find out. I was scared that he'd abandon me.

Besides, saying you were pregnant to a Strigoi didn't roll of the tongue so easy. Regardless of the fact that he wasn't him self at the time, still it was his. I pursed my lips for a long while and looked up to the sound of his sigh.

"Rose. It's okay. I won't be mad. I just need to know."

I wasn't so sure about that. Him—calling me by the name Rose—said as much. I knew he was angry or at least just a tad bit angry, but he kept it contained. I shook my head finally and sighed.

"No. It's not Adrian's."

His eyebrows knit into a frown regarding me curiously. After what felt like a mere second, he was looking at me for a while. For reassurance? The truth? I didn't know. His shoulders relaxed a little. He always knew I couldn't lie in front of him. In fact, he was the only person who caught my bluffs, but he seemed to believe me.

"If not Ivashkov's, then who?" I swallowed that annoying lump in the back of my throat. 'It yours' is what I wanted to say, but feeling like a coward, I couldn't do it to him. No, he couldn't know. I shook my head.

"You know what? I'm kind-a tired. I need to rest…" I said as I patted the blanket out in front of me avoiding eye contact.

He strolled over to the edge of my bed and sat down. His hands cupping my face. "Roza, please. Just tell me the truth. I just need to know." He pleaded in that charming, most gentle voice of his. All full of concern and confusion. I shook my head.

"No. I can't do this. I can't tell you because it would only hurt you too much." His thumb smoothing my cheeks. It was so familiar I wanted to wrap my arms around him and keep him forever. I sighed.

"You wouldn't believe me if I did anyway." I said at last. His face full of concern. I felt guilty just looking at him.

"_Please."_ He pleaded. I squeezed my eyes shut. There goes that sexy-please-voice again. It was almost as powerful as if he'd wielded some sort of compulsion with his pleading. I sighed and opened my eyes. Aware that my eyes were burning with tears. I swallowed that annoying lump that formed in my throat.

"It's..." I shook my head. "I can't, say! Please don't make me say it! Please..." I whispered. He wiped a tear that escaped from my eyes.

"It's okay, Roza. I'm here." He said and that was all I needed to hear. Just to say he was here was all I needed to work the courage up to say it. I smiled a little wiping away more tears.

"It's yours, Dimitri." I whispered. "You're…you're the father." I finished. His hand froze on my face, eyes searching for any truth in the words. He frowned.

"Me?" Well that wasn't the reaction I was hoping for. He shook his head. "But how…Dhampirs can't…when…?" In the entire time I'd known him, never had I seen or heard him stumble over his words, let alone stutter. He looked toward my stomach.

"I did that to you? But…" He seemed to toss over his thoughts. His hand that was on my cheek, he'd pulled it away and started running it over his mouth as he tossed over his thoughts. My mind tearing at the silence that followed.

"How is that even possible? Dhampirs can't reproduce…can they?" He seemed unsure of himself. I shook my head.

"No. They can't." He looked at my stomach again.

"Then how?" Now for the hard part.

"I don't think you remembered it…but well…it was at the Motel. When…" I swallowed instead, because I couldn't seem to finish. I was afraid if I brought it up again,_ I'd_ go insane. It took a while for him to register it all. Right then, his eyes expanded as if recognition hit him in the face. As if he'd remembered something. He bolted upright off the bed as if a bomb had gone off from under him.

He looked exactly how I looked when I had found out I was pregnant.

"The Motel? I…oh _God!_ I did that to you…? When I was…oh God!"

I blinked astonished at his outrage.

I've never seen him lose his cool or curse God before, let alone say his name in vain. This new Dimitri was full of surprises. I couldn't quite blame him. I was the same.

He seemed to freak out and at the same time, he looked angry. He started pacing back and forward muttering incoherent words in his native tongue. His hands running through his hair like he'd wanted to pull it out. I watched him for a while. His features turning over. It was all making me anxious. Finally he turned on his heel in an instance and pegged me with a level stare. Then his eyes were on my stomach.

"Get rid of it." He said finally. I blinked unable to comprehend. Did he just say what I think he did? He wanted to get rid of it? He wanted _me _to get rid of it? I shook my head unable to contain my astonishment.

"_What?"_ I exhaled. I didn't see that one coming.

"Look Rose. My memory…it's been a little hazy, but over the past few hours? I've had these little images that have been slowly coming back to me. Right now? I remember that moment in the Motel. I can't…I _won't_ forgive myself…if that _thing_ is alive inside of you. I did that to you…when I was a…_monster_. Oh God! I _gave_ you a monster!" He sounded hysterical now.

Eyes faraway like he'd conjured up a dark cloud from his memories. He went back to pacing back and forth like a mad man. I glared at him, slightly annoyed.

"No!" I bit out. He paused to look at me.

"No?" I gave him a dark look and shook my head.

"No! I'm not getting rid of it!" I was yelling now, and I realized we'd set ourselves up for an argument. He glared.

"You can't be serious! You're only young, Rose. A whole life a head of you, and you're willing to throw it all away for what? A monster? A _thing_ growing inside you? I'm sorry but you can't keep it. I won't allow it." I was furious now. It was more over him telling me what to do. Monster or not, it was apart of me. Apart of him. I couldn't let that go. No. I refused to let this baby go. I glared back.

"I wasn't asking for your permission!" I muttered. He sighed.

"Rose, be reasonable. You've got finals tomorrow. Graduation even. This could affect your overall grade, better yet; it could affect who you're officially assigned to, if not any. You seriously want to throw that away to become a housewife? Live in a blood whore community and raise your child on your own? Is that what you want? To become what everyone already suspected of you. Of Dhampirs?" I flinched.

Was that his subtle way of calling me a blood whore? I also noticed how he said '_your child'_ like it was _mine_ and not _ours_. And the minute he let that slip, I felt hot tears brimming at the edge of my eyes. The rejection hitting me harder than I'd thought. Along with the words _'raise your child on your _own'. It was like a knife to my heart, piercing me harder than an ice-pick. I gulped.

"Get out." I whispered blinking back my tears. Refusing to let them go in his presence. His face paled as his eyes roamed over my face, in what looked like regret. I didn't care. He couldn't take back what he'd said. He reached his hands out to comfort me and I flinched away. His face seemed pained.

"Roza, I didn't mean…" He seemed panicked now. I was trying my hardest not to cry.

"Of course you did. You made it loud and clear where you stand in all this. So go." I said a little louder. He shook his head.

"_Rose_…you can't be serious. Think about it. You don't even know what's inside of you." He said in disgust. My voice was almost robot now.

"No I guess not." I said blearily. "But that's no concern of _yours _now is it? Considering _I'll_ be the one living in a blood whore community raising this child on _my_ _own_."

"_Roza."_ He said trying to wipe away my tears. I shook my head and turned the other way, curling into my blanket.

"Just get out! Leave me alone." I said in a shaky voice and to my astonishment. He left. I cried myself to sleep after that half aware of soaking my pillow.

I WOKE UP TO SOMEONE SHAKING ME awake. I groaned and turned the other way. The shaking started again and it was really starting to piss me off. I fluttered my eyes open, rubbing at them to get a better view. It was Lissa.

"Rose, you have to get up. You've been cooped up in this room for days. I'm really starting to worry about you." I blinked again and studied my surroundings. Familiar objects came crawling back to me as I realized I was in my dorm room. I frowned.

"No, I'm tired." I said stubbornly. I almost sounded like a little four year old. I squinted at the bright light that bathed my face. Lissa had drawn open the curtains. I groaned and covered my face with the blankets. I was surprised she even attempted to open those curtains, seeming how _she_ was the one who couldn't stand much of it.

"The world awaits you Rose. You have to meet it sometime you know." I grunted.

"Well, tell the world to fuck off and come back next time. I'm not in the mood to play." I heard her sigh and she pried the blanket away from my face. I opened my eyes to look at her. It wasn't her gaze that made me feel guilty, it was the feelings she was sending through the bond. She shuffled and crawled into my bed behind me and wrapped her arms around me like a sister. Her head resting on my shoulder.

"I wish I knew what was going through your mind right now. I feel useless that I can't help you." I shook my head.

"I'm okay Liss. I just don't want to face the music right now. Gimme this day to rest. Please." I've never asked for much in my life, but having the free will to wallow in my own thoughts was something I wanted. Just this once. She pursed her lips.

"You have to get up sometime today. Graduation is in a couple of hours." I frowned.

"Graduation? It's today?" God, sometimes I wondered if my head was screwed on at all. She nodded.

"Eleven o'clock sharp, so Guardian Alto keeps saying." I looked over toward my nightstand. The time blinking that it was eight o'clock. Seriously? Who even wakes up at that time? I could tell she was this close to giving up on forcing me out of my room. Her hand happened to be resting on my stomach.

"Just remember I'm here for you, no matter what. You and I are impossible to separate. We're practically twins." I smiled.

"Siamese twins would be accurate." I joked. Right then something weird happened. I felt a jolt like something moved in my stomach. It wasn't painful, but it made me uncomfortable and curious. Lissa and her reflex jumped up and stared wide-eyed at me.

"Rose, what was that?" She asked looking at my stomach and back up at me. I was about to say nothing but she touched my stomach again and by now I had a tiny bump showing. It wasn't visible through my hooded top, but it was a different story touching it.

"Oh God Rose! You're pregnant?" Great! How could she tell?

"I knew it!" I was about to say something, then I realized what she had said.

"Wait, what? You knew?" She shook her head. "You've had a weird aura lately, but I couldn't quite pinpoint it."

"I always have weird auras." She shook her head again.

"This time, it's a separate aura. Adrian was just as suspicious, but we both narrowed it down to the stress you've been through, but...now?"

I groaned. "Now you know I'm pregnant?" There was no point in denying it to her so I reluctantly nodded.

"But how…what…when?" I almost had the reflex to smile. I shrugged instead.

"It just happened you know?" She frowned.

"Is it Adrian's?" Now I frowned. Everyone assumed it was Adrian's, but neither realized I hadn't slept with him at all. Maybe it was the fact that he was Moroi. Though we barely dated, putting two and two together and all will make stories float. I finally shook my head.

"No. Not Adrian's."

"It's not? Then who?" I pursed my lips. Lissa was my bestfriend, yes. But how do you tell your bestfriend you slept with a Strigoi _and_ fell pregnant to one?

"Look Liss, can we talk about this later? We need to get ready for Graduation. It's creeping on 9:30 already." Way to dodge the question. Her eyebrows rose and I knew what she was going to say, but she caught her tongue happy to know that I was stepping out of my room. It worked. She jumped up and nodded.

"Sure, I need to meet Christian soon anyway. But this conversation is _so_ not over." I smiled.

"To be continued. Got it." I saluted her with a smirk on my face.

She kissed me on the cheek and said she was happy for me nonetheless and left soon after. I sighed. Now to face the music.

I showered and dressed and made my way to the commons room. Seats casted to the side for parents and family of graduates, while students took up the middle. Teachers sat up on a dais at the front, while guardians hovered in the background.

Alberta was giving a long speech on how fortunate we all were to have finally reached this day. I momentarily zoned out as my eyes caught with Dimitri. My heart beating instantly like it was trying to escape. He always had that effect on me.

He had an agitated look on his face that seemed to cause a pang in my heart. I'd been avoiding him for the last couple of days, but it wasn't like he was trying his hardest to get my attention. His rejection never failed to coil my thoughts. I was snatched out of my reverie when Lissa hit me in the arm. I glared at her slightly annoyed, until I saw her face. My face softened. She leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"They've called your name three times already. They're this close to dragging you up there." I frowned and looked toward the dais.

"Rosemarie Hathaway!" Alberta announced from the front, she seemed annoyed.

I jumped. Oh shit that was me right? I stumbled to my feet when Lissa sent me a _Congrats _through the bond. I squeezed her hand and went to retrieve the fake rolled up scroll that had a red ribbon tied around. It was the same color of our maroon graduate gowns.

"Congatulations, Rosemarie. You're officially assigned to Vasilisa Dragomir." Alberta nodded, and I noticed there was a small hint of a smile. I heard Lissa squealing through the bond.

Our hats had a gold trimming and tassel. I was completely aware of several flashes that went crazy and I almost squinted when I had seen the culprit. It was my dad? He was taking as much pictures as he could get. I met his eyes and he winked.

A stab of sorrow pierced through me as I remembered my mom. She was the one I really wanted to be here. I wanted her to be proud of me too. To show her that I'd kept my promise and lived up to the deal. I tipped my hat and put my tassel to the other side as a silent gesture that I'd completely the deal.

_This is for you mom_. I said under my breath and smiled to the clouds. As if she was somewhere in there. I almost felt stupid as soon as I done it.

The crowd applauded in a loud unison and I was ushered up toward the tattooist Mike. He was sitting on the side of the dais with his needle and his ink. Brushing over a graduate's neck. The promise mark. Which was what completed the ceremony. I was told to pull my hair up and sit still in the chair. Onlookers and freshman ooh'd and aah'd when they'd caught a glimpse of my _molnija _marks like they hadn't seen anything like it. I smiled wryly.

"Let's get this over with Mike." I said and I felt a piercing feeling in my skin. I'd already asked Dr. Olendski if it was okay to get a tattoo while being pregnant. She assured me that being a Dhampir meant that I couldn't catch any diseases, let alone a fetus.

Earlier, I'd been shown what I was getting, and it was in a shape of an S with jagged edges. It only lasted for a few minutes and then he wiped some cream over it, covering it with a bandage. He gave me some antiseptic cream and mumbled a few notions on how to take care of it. I nodded in thanks and went off to make way for the rest who were called to receive their own. Lissa came running up to me and pulling me into a hug.

"Congratulations Rose. You did it!" I smiled returning the gesture.

"No. _We_ did it." I corrected. She nodded at that.

"Yeah, we did. See, I knew we would be inseparable. I thought for sure they were going to assign you to someone else."

"I know. Must be the chotki charm." I held my wrist up showing off the bracelet Lissa had given me. It was meant especially for a Dragomir's guardian. Now I was officially _her_ guardian. My life was almost complete. I sighed not wanting my head getting mixed up in Dimitri and our relationship. I smiled.

"I'm just glad it's all over."

We turned to the sound of our names. It was Kirova ordering us for the group photo. I groaned and Lissa dragged me toward the stage.

"Just smile Rose." I did as the snapshot went off. The second photo we all threw our hats in the air hollering 'Class of 2009'. We really did it. I finally graduated. Moments after we separated from our classmates and offered to help clean up.

"Your mom would've been proud of you." I turned to the voice. It was Abraham Mazur. I gave him a half smile as some sort of greeting. I shook my head at his comment.

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't be so sure." He cocked his eyebrow.

"I am. She said so herself. In fact your mother told me to give you as soon as you graduated." He handed me a tiny white box, with a green silk bow on top. I studied it.

"What is it?" He shrugged.

"Open it. See for yourself." I opened the box and pulled out an emblem. It was in the shape of a Scottish emblem, a thistle. Hanging from a chain. I frowned not knowing what to make of it. I saw a note, and I gasped when I saw it was from my mom.

_Rose_

_This was given to me from my mother and has been passed down for generations as a graduation gift. There is a legend behind The Thistle which relates how a sleeping party of Scots warriors were almost set upon by an invading a band of Vikings and were only saved when one of the attackers trod on a wild thistle with his bare feet. His cries raised the alarm and the roused Scots duly defeated the Danes. In gratitude, the plant became known as the 'Guardian Thistle' and was adopted as the symbol of Scotland. Now I'm giving it to you. From one guardian to another. Congratulations Rose, I'm so proud of you. You couldn't have made me any happier. _

_Mom._

I was half aware of my tears falling and arms wrapping around me. Abe had pulled me into a hug. I squeezed the emblem in my fist hoping I would never let it go. I repeated that line over and over._ Congratulations Rose, I'm so proud of you!_ I sniffed.

"She really was proud of me?" Abe nodded.

"That makes two of us." I smiled. Abraham put the emblem on around my neck. I was going to wear it everyday.

The group dispersed into small groups of threes, and then twos until people started leaving after that. I turned to the sound of my name. Victor Dashkov was standing there, cane in one hand and cloth in the other. He was choking into it, then smiled at me.

"Rosemarie, what a lovely surprise." A choking fit followed and he struggled to strain himself from it. I almost felt sorry for him.

"Victor? How is it possible that you're here?" He smiled.

"Anything's possible. Surely you should know that." I scowled. Despite his sickness, I wasn't feeling particularly forthcoming. Or sympathetic. I turned to leave but he caught me by my arm.

"Wait, aren't you forgetting something?" I turned and glared at the spot where he had his fingers curled around my wrist. He let go.

"No. Sorry the deals off." He shook his head.

"Not how it works. You promised me Vasilisa's healing in exchange for Dimitri's soul. The deal still stands." I heard a gasp from behind me. It was Lissa. I groaned. How long was she standing there? I glared up at Victor's smirk. He knew all along that she was there. I turned to Lissa.

"Lissa…it's not what you think." Her tears rimmed her eyes. She gulped.

"You did that? Made a deal with him behind my back?" I shook my head and walked over to try to comfort her. She flinched away from me like I had some kind of disease. She was glaring at Victor and back at me.

"I'd expect something like this from him…but from my bestfriend?" She was fighting her tears now, but they won out and flooded her cheeks. I felt a pang of guilt in me. God, I'd just been rejected from the man I love, now I was feeling rejection from my BFF? The agony just would stop. I looked at her with an apologetic look in my face.

"I didn't mean to. It just happened. I swear I didn't mean to." She shook her head and her feelings changed as soon as Victor fell into one of his coughing fits again. This time he really looked like he needed a doctor. I could feel her anguish through the bond. No matter how angry she was at her uncle. She still was the Lissa I had grown to love. Compassionate and cared for those around her, even if they weren't so deserving of her love.

She was as merciful as a saint. She wiped her eyes and stepped toward Victor with her hands outreached toward him. He flinched a little, but as she touched his face, a weird feeling clouded my stomach and she was healing him. He was changing before my eyes. Wrinkles dissolved into young looking skin. Silver lining streaks in his hair changed to pitch black. And the coughing fits changed to level breathing. As soon as it was over she glared at me and stormed off. I was left there with a young looking Victor. And then the weirdest thing happened. Victor said,

"Thank you." I blinked in surprise.

"For what?" He shrugged smiling sincerely. It was a change from the smug look in his eyes.

"Giving me a second chance." He nodded as a form of goodbye and left me standing there by myself. I sighed and made my way back to my dorm. With Graduation over, I wasn't sure what will be installed for my future, all I knew was I was going to face it alone. I felt a slight movement in my stomach and rested my hand there. I smiled.

"Look's like it's just you and me." I mumbled to myself.

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_**A/N: **I was trying to make up a Scottish emblem to show Janine's background and turns out their emblem was actually a thistle. I was so stoked because I googled Scottish Emblems and the story of The Guardian Thistle showed up! Which was so perfect, and fit perfect with my story, I was stoked! Random at the same time! Anyway hope you liked it! Yes, one more chapter and an epilogue and FINISHED! Sorry to say, but review because I love reading you guys! I will miss you guys too, and miss writing this story, but I will be writing my Blood Sacrifices 'Last Sacrifice' if you want to keep reading me ;) _

_X0X0 Tiny_


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**_A/N: _**_Hey guys, sorry for the slow one, I've been naughty and partying for the last couple of weeks LOL but I'm still writing, so that's not an excuse to be a slacker XD __Just a small reminder that this is the last chapter to this story, and I'll post an Epilogue up in a few days just to wrap it up. Thanks guys for your continued support I really love writing and giving you an insight of what goes on in my mind when I'm thinking about VA and all the wonderful characters Richelle gave to us. Even moreso hearing what you have to say. I hope you enjoy the last installment to this story. _

**Disclaimer:** Richelle Meads owns all rights to VA but I just borrowed her characters for my story. I promise to give them back after the next chapter(Epilogue) okay? NO copyright Infringement intended, just for fanfic purposes only...and mine and your entertainment I guess. 

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**Chapter Seventeen**

**W**ITH GRADUATION OVER, AND finals done with, I felt like a whole new person. Well, in the sense that I'd changed and matured somewhat over the past year or so. Though I wasn't quite sure I was free from tragedy. I guess what I've learnt in the past couple of years is that my life will continue to follow tragedy if not seek it. It was getting through it that was a bitch. But I was Rose Hathaway after all, and dealing with tragedy was part of my forte, even if said tragedy involved taking care of another life on my own. I was a fighter, and I lived everyday as if it were my last.

Today was the kick-start of St. Vladimir's School holidays, which meant students were retrieved from their parents for vacation. Some who never had parents stayed behind and those who had workaholic parents did too. Seniors however were leaving for College or full time guardianship with their charges, so yeah. Today was one hell of a day for everybody.

I was in my dorm room packing all of my belongings having been told I'd been assigned to Lissa at the Royal Court and moving there permanently. She'll be attending LeHigh and I'll be on 'maternity leave' so I was told before I went into full guardian mode. Though, I was against my child being raised by the Academy, having been raised there myself, I couldn't help thinking that maybe my mother made a good choice.

I finally understood the sacrifices my mother had given up to choose her job over the life of her child. Besides, I didn't turn out that bad did I? Looking around my old room, I felt a pang in my heart. This was all I knew as some sort of stable home. I'd grown up here along with Lissa and a few of my friends, leaving it now felt like I was leaving apart of me behind. I'd never thought I'd say this, but I was certainly going to miss this Academy and all of its memories, even the unbearable ones.

But looking toward my future was exciting, and the not knowing what will come next made my adrenaline pump. By now my secret had come out to most of my close friends, but the father of my baby was still a mystery to everyone besides me and said mystery father. Dimitri. I hadn't talked to him in two weeks.

He'd been assigned to Lissa as well, but turned down the offer immediately. It was part of our problem in the first place, but resigning from a once in a lifetime chance was uncharacteristic of him; which brings me back to my problems. He'd found out I was pregnant, and freaked out. I thought he'd come around by now, but apparently not. Two weeks with nothing to say? Well either he was a coward or I was asking for too much. Lissa was the same.

She still hadn't forgiven me about the deal I had made with Victor, in fact, she usually helped me pack, but for reasons I knew all too well, I wasn't worth forgiving. I sighed as I folded the last of my clothing into the bag and zipped it up. The photo of my scan I had early today sat atop my bed. A girl so Dr. Olendski had informed me. My hand felt my stomach and I felt some movement. I smiled.

"Yes, at least I still have you. That's all that matters." I jumped to the sound of a knock at the door. Feeling silly as if I'd been caught talking to myself I guess.

"Coming!" I shouted as I fumbled in my bag to find a hood to cover my stomach, messing up what I'd spent the last hour preparing. I was currently in a tank top which would give away my bump, and hiding it was a reflex I'd grown used to, trying my hardest to hide it through baggy clothes.

It was a stupid gesture, yeah, but necessary to avoid silly rumors. I don't think I was quite ready for the whole entire Academy to know my business. It would just make my situation seem worst. After I was decent enough, I went to investigate who was at the door. A little part of me hoped it was Dimitri. I think that's what made me fuss over my hair and stuff before I opened it. I frowned. Well, it wasn't Dimitri, but it was someone unexpected. Tasha.

"Hey Rose." She gave me a warm smile to complete her greeting. I smiled.

"Tasha? What brings you here?" She shrugged. She seemed embarrassed as if she'd interrupted something.

"I was wondering if you've seen Dimka—Dimitri around, and was wondering if he was with you." That surprised me, and I'm sure I had it written all over my face. I shook my head.

"No. I haven't seen or talked to him for awhile."

"Oh? Well, that's weird. I wonder where he could be then." Now I frowned.

"You've looked everywhere?" She nodded.

"Yeah, I even checked his dorm room. No one's seen him all day." I thought that was weird, usually he was easy to find.

"I'm sure if it's important, he'll show up." I said finally.

"That's the thing, he offered to be my guardian, and then he disappeared soon after. I was just wondering if he was sure about his offer. I didn't want him to make any rash decisions and regret it later." I pursed my lips, ignoring the pang that hit my heart due to my stupid jealousy.

"Congratulations. I'm sure he wouldn't say something if he didn't mean it." She shrugged.

"I guess, I just feel there's something bugging him and I feel so helpless not knowing what it is." I nodded. Weirded out that I'd come to some kind of agreement with Tasha.

"I know what you mean. I'm sorry I can't help you, but I'll keep a look out for him if that's anything?"

"Yeah that would be much appreciated. Thanks Rose. I'll see you later." We made our goodbye's and she was on her way. Just before I closed the door, I felt Lissa closer through the bond and sure enough she was making her way toward my dorm with a shopping bag in her hand. She crossed Tasha's path and gave her a warm hug and stopped in front of my dorm.

"Hi." I greeted. She held her shopping bag up and smiled.

"I've come to ask for your forgiveness?" She had a puppy dog look on her, with the whole lips pouted out. I rolled my eyes giving in instantly.

"My forgiveness? I should be asking you." She smiled and threw me into a hug.

"Forgiven!" She waved her hand and invited herself in.

I closed the door and followed her to the couch. She sat down and handed me the bag. My eyes raised in suspicion.

"What's this for?" She shrugged.

"I've been a spoilt brat lately, and you don't deserve it. I guess this is my way of saying sorry. I admit, yeah, I was a little bit angry that you couldn't confide in me to ask me to help you. I would've done it. You're always doing things alone and I guess I was mad that you didn't include me. Stupid I know, but I felt…unwanted."

"So the bag is to say sorry?" She nodded.

"And to say congratulations." I frowned and fished out a tiny suit in the bag. It was in the color of pink. Typical Lissa color but that's not what made me smile. 'I heart my Aunty'" was scrolled over the chest part of it.

"Aunty?" She nodded.

"Well I couldn't find 'bestest Aunty', so I guess that would have to do." I chuckled.

"Yes, bestest Aunty would've been better."

"So forgiven?" I nodded. "As long as I'm forgiven. I'm sorry for putting our friendship on the line like that. It couldn't have been easy on you." She shrugged. "You taught me to be strong, so this is me being strong. I'm not sorry you did it. You wanted him back and saw an easy route. You've done so much for me, so you deserve this. Being happy is what you deserve." My expression took on a new outlook of wistfulness.

"Yeah, I guess I'm happy." My hand went to my stomach. She smiled.

"It's his isn't it? He's the father?" I didn't even have to say yes, she saw it in my eyes.

"That obvious?" She shook her head.

"No, I just know you too well." I smiled.

"You don't think it's like sick or something?" She raised her eyebrows in astonishment.

"Sick? Why would I think that?"

"Because…well, he wasn't Dhampir Dimitri at the time. He was…yeah."

"You know, I've never told anyone about this, but when he had me in that cave? When he was a Strigoi? I wasn't so scared because I knew he loved you enough to not hurt me. I kept telling myself I was going to die, this is it. But then I saw his face change every time I mentioned your name. Almost as if he was remembering something private. Like your name made his inner self shine. Strigoi or not he loved you…and I don't know I guess saying your name made me feel safe. Made him feel safe. So I kept talking about you. Seeing his reaction to your name was the only thing keeping me alive. So I said it often."

"Like a prayer?"

"Yeah, something like that…but I don't know, it was more like his light. Your name seemed to switch some kind of light in him…I don't know, might sound stupid but that's what I thought at the time. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he was still himself underneath that masquerade."

"You know you're starting to sound like Robert Duro." She laughed.

"Something tells me that isn't a good thing." I shook my head.

"Actually, strangely enough, it is a good thing."

"Good! Plus I know he'll make a great father. Just like you're going to be a great mother." She said confidently. I smiled a little.

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter now. He doesn't even want me to keep it; he thinks he created a monster." She raised her eyebrows.

"Really? Hmmm…that's not like him. Don't worry, he'll come around, I know it." I bit my lip.

"You think so?"

"I know so. Anyway, so I'm meeting Christian before we go to the Court. Might make some babies of our own." I laughed and hit her in the arm.

"_What?" _She protested.

"What did I tell you about the whole TMI thing." She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I'll keep that in mind. So I'll see you later?"

I nodded. "Yeah, don't have too much fun." She had a sly grin on her face.

"Don't worry, I will. This is for my favorite niece." She blew a kiss to me.

"God daughter to be exact." I corrected her. She squealed and hugged me and left soon after. I closed the door happy that our friendship was back on track. Now for my love life. It was like a ping pong match with the two of them, wondering how long it'll take to stuff up one relationship and going back and fourth trying to patch them up. My mind started pondering over Dimitri's recent behavior.

I frowned and sat on my bed for a while. Dimitri avoiding me was understandable, but avoiding Tasha and the rest of his responsibilities? Well, that was unheard of. It piqued my curiosity of where he would be hiding out. A thought came to mind. When a problem seemed to arise with me, and I didn't feel like talking, I'd hole up in a place where my mind seemed at peace. A place where I'd summon my favorite memories in hopes of the bad ones to go away. Almost like a safe place to call home. Mine was always my dorm and I had a vague idea where his was. It was more of some sort of inkling than a sure thing but I'd give it shot. I slipped on my sneakers and made my way to my destination. Though I didn't get too far considering my obstacles a head of me.

"Oh it's Rose!" It wasn't a greeting of sorts; it was more of an angry annoyance. I glared at my intruders. It was Jesse Zeklos hollering at me with what looked like a sneer on his face, with Ralf Sarcozy following close behind him. I narrowed my eyes at the two boys that were coming toward me.

"Fuck. Me." I muttered. Can't a girl get a break around here? Well at-least I knew some things never changed.

"Heard you were back. You should've stayed with those whores, you're good for it." Jesse said eying me up in a perverse manner. I used to think he was hot once upon a time, but that all died with his reputation. I scowled.

"I figured it was better coming back here, you know after hearing you and Sarcozy being star-crossed lovers and all. I had to see for myself." This made him angry. Ralf didn't seem like he was exactly ecstatic with my comment or walking alongside Jesse. I almost felt sorry for him.

"Fuck you!" Jesse barked. I smiled mockingly giving him a once over.

"No thanks, you seem to have your hands tied. Run along little girls, don't you know kiss and playtime is over?" He screwed his face up at my retort. Ralf didn't seem offended by my accusations. He seemed like he was annoyed at Jesse if anything. I wondered why he even hung with the guy.

"A slut like you should be locked up in whore town! Don't you know that?" I rolled my eyes and started on my way. Trying to be as civilized as I could.

"Give it a rest Zeklos." Ralf stammered.

"Listen to your playmate; it'll do you some good." I said and started to walk away. Jesse shrugged his friend off him and kept going.

"The hell I will. She's a slut just like her mom!" I stopped in mid-stride. I never knew that a comment like _that_ would get under my nerves. But it did. Right to the core of it. Cheap shot or not I turned to him with a death glare in my eyes. Rage boiling in my skin.

"What did you say?" I demanded. He had some triumphant look on his smirk that made me want to swipe him.

"I said—" Well, that's the thing, I didn't let him finish; my fist went flying and met with his face before _anyone_ could see it coming, let alone Jesse. So much for trying to be civilized. His head kicked back and I heard a crack. He fell to the ground instantly holding his bloodied nose. He investigated the blood on his hands and glared up at me.

"Are you fucking out of your mind?" I had a half smirk on my face this time and shook my hand in mock hurt.

"God! That felt good!" I exclaimed in triumph. Shaking my hand from the impact.

"You whore! You're gonna pay for this!" he spit out blood. I laughed humorlessly.

"Not what I heard. In fact, _you're_ the one who's going to pay once I'm through with you." I dragged him by the collar of his shirt and made our way toward Kirova's office. He protested under my grip but let's face it. I was too strong for his weak bravado. Well, lack there of. I dumped him on the ground in front of Kirova's desk. She jumped out of her chair nearly flipping her glasses off her nose and looked at all the commotion.

"Miss Hathaway! Explain this right now!" She demanded. I stood there with my arms crossed over my chest with a little smirk on my face. This I had to stick around for. I shrugged.

"No need to, Jesse here will do it for me. Isn't that right Mr. Zeklos?" I said mocking Kirova's tone and authority. Jesse still with hatred in his eyes.

"The hell I will! You need to put a leash on this crazy bitch!" He said in a melodramatic girl voice. One finger pointing at me, the other hand still covering his nose. I rolled my eyes. I silently wondered what the hell I even saw in the guy. He was worst than a bitch. I dragged him off the floor and squeezed his neck just to add to his torture. I still wasn't over the remark he said about my mom. A yelp escaped his mouth.

"Miss Hathaway! I order you to release him, right now!" I did, reluctantly so. Kirova's attention turned toward Jesse.

"Mr. Zeklos, what is she talking about?" He seemed to have caught his tongue so I was more than happy to fill her in.

"Your number one suspect concerning the Royal Court. Ask him who staked the wards." Kirova frowned. Jesse seemed to be acting dumber than dumb. I rolled my eyes.

"Come on Zeklos, enlighten us on the whole working with Strigoi tactics. What did you do? Beg for immortality to work with them, or was it the whole 'revenge is sweeter' kind of deal? You've been talking about wanting to get back at me for so long, was this the way you did it? Go on…we're all listening."

"Jesse Marion Zeklos? What is she talking about?" Kirova almost sounded like his mother or close to one. I snorted.

"Marion? That's even worst than Jesse." His frown deepened as his anger boiled to the surface.

He _tsked_ at me. "It wasn't…" I squeezed his neck tighter.

"That isn't how the sentence is supposed to start." I taunted. Kirova demanded me to let go a third time round. I reluctantly complied.

"That is completely unnecessary Miss Hathaway. Take your seats and start from the top." We did. Jesse still rubbing at his neck and covering his nose with a tissue Kirova handed him.

"Fucking crazy bitch—" Jesse muttered while straightening out his shirt. Glaring at me and slowly taking a seat.

"Language please. That goes for both of you. So, is this true?" Kirova demanded.

"Yes!" I exclaimed. Kirova gave me a warning look.

"I'm asking Mr. Zeklos! Is this true?"

"It is, it was him." We both whipped our heads around to his friend Ralf Sarcozy in the door way. Dobbing in his best friend? Wow! Ralf had some balls after all and just made rank on my awesome peoples list. Jesse's glare didn't go unnoticeable.

"Shut up Sarcozy! Whose fucking side are you on anyway?"

"The side where you have to start taking responsibility for your own actions. I'm sick of backing up your lies. No more." I smiled.

"Not so cool now, are you?"

"Is this true Mr. Zeklos?" Kirova demanded. Jesse shrugged.

""Yes, but…"

"So I'm off the hook I presume?" I asked.

"No." Kirova had a pile of papers out of her cabinet marking down something with her pen.

"What? He just confessed it was him. I should be off probation." She nodded.

"True, but you still broke the rules. You breached probation." I frowned.

"I wouldn't be on probation in the first place if it wasn't for douche bag over here." I stabbed my finger at Jesse.

"You broke strict protocols; you left the court when you were told not to." I groaned.

"This is absurd. You know I'm starting to think you have it in for me." This got Kirova's attention. She looked at me pushing up her glasses on the bridge of her nose.

"If I seem hard on you Miss Hathaway, it's because I expect better from you. There were other ways to deal with what you went through. You could've asked a person of authority. I'm sorry but rules are rules Rose." I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, I hear you. So what's the punishment?"

"Well, since it's your last day, you're on Community service. Your free time is our time, until your flight leaves to Court. Do we have an agreement?" I grunted. It was the best I could get.

"Yeah, whatever." I mumbled.

"Good to hear. You're dismissed Miss Hathaway." I nodded slipping out of my seat, not before glaring at Jesse.

"As for you Jesse? You're on strict probation…your mother would be hearing from me, and you're suspended until further notice…." She laid strict punishments, ones even I hadn't heard of before but I had left by then to hear anymore of it.

I remembered my initial intention for leaving my dorm in the first place before running into Jesse. I was supposed to find Dimitri. My destination? The cabin.

It was a long shot, but I thought I'd give it a try anyway. I made my way off campus and the cabin came into view. Smoke came from the chimney but there was no lights on inside. Memories of this place came flitting back to me. The good and the bad happened with this cabin. The same place I remembered laying beside the man I loved. One of the fewer memories I would always hold to dear to me. I inhaled deep and paused before knocking. I didn't want to startle anyone, so I slowly turned the knob and let myself in.

It was dark because the curtains were drawn back, making no room for light. Which is weird considering outside was full of misty sunlight.

My heart almost crushed when I saw Dimitri sitting on the floor with his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees, just sitting there. Forlorn almost and it broke my heart to have been the cause of it. He looked up to the small light that I had let in through the crack of the door. I quickly closed it and stood there awkwardly. Feeling like an intruder I didn't want to move closer. He took his eyes off me and seemed to focus on something else.

I hated the awkward silence that seemed to grow between us, in every situation. It seemed to haunt us. I fidgeted with my fingers.

"Everyone's been looking for you." I said finally. He didn't say anything which made me feel like more of an intruder. I pursed my lips.

"Tasha came over, she seemed worried. I am too." No answer. I was starting to get annoyed. Avoiding me was one thing, but ignoring me made my skin boil. I was this close to arguing but I thought better of it. He was feeling down already, so I decided to leave. I'd just make things worst.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to bother you. Just wanted to see if you were okay." I sighed at the silence that followed and reached for the door knob to let myself out, and as if he had Strigoi reflexes still with him, minutes later he was closing the door to stop me from leaving. I looked up at him for the first time in two weeks. Looking into those eyes again made me feel like I had been staring at them everyday. Like two weeks without talking hadn't passed at all. So familiar and close yet so far away. His eyes roaming over me like a goddess again.

"You never bother me Roza. And I'm okay." I studied him.

"You don't look okay." I said bluntly. He shrugged.

"Well I am." I sighed.

"Look, I get the whole avoiding-me-because-I-fucked-up thing, but your friends? Your job? That's something you live for, and turning your back on them because of something that happened between us is not okay and why I'm so worried. But if you say you're okay, then I'm okay." I avoided eye contact and turned the knob to open it again, only to have Dimitri close it again. I pursed my lips and looked at him.

"My job and friends only get me by day to day Roza. I don't live for them; I make a living out of them. You, however? I live for _you _Roza. I'll die protecting you. I'm not turning my back on anyone. You in particular." My heart took a flip jump at the words he spoke. He lived for me? I bit my lip wanting to tell him the same thing. Then remembered our fight we had.

"What about what you said in the hospital?" He sighed.

"That was me blowing off steam. I was in shock. Still am. But could you blame me? I'd just been told I may lose the woman I love; only to find out the complications that caused it was because of some monster inside of you. I freaked out, and acted like a coward. I just needed time to myself." I nodded. Sure I could understand why he acted the way he did, I sure acted the same way.

"Monster…" I said mimicking his tone. I looked up and smiled. "She's always going to be a monster to you?" He frowned.

"She?" I nodded.

"Yeah, I took a scan today, found out the sex. Apparently girls are the start of the next generation. So they say." I felt the photo tickle my fingers in the front of my pocket of my hood. I cleared my throat.

"You wanna see?" He reluctantly nodded. I handed him the photo and he seemed to flinch away from it until he pegged his eyes on the tiny life form captured on the piece of paper. His expression changed in that fleet full moment. He took it from my hand and rubbed at his chin studying it. His eyes took a new meaning to them. He seemed awestruck for a moment. Like he couldn't believe what was before his eyes.

It felt like years before he said something again. What struck me with complete surprise was witnessing a tear fall from his left eye as he studied the photo. He exhaled loud and sat down by the bed, eyes stained the photo. Like nothing existed around him other than the person in the photo. I felt like I was invading his privacy having watching his eyes well up with more tears.

"This is…my daughter?" I sat down beside him and wiped his tears away. My heart swelled at the mention of the word daughter. The fact that he said '_my _daughter' was a complete change in tone. I nodded and smiled.

"_Our_ daughter." I corrected and he turned to me and gave me a little smile.

"She looks so tiny." He said. I nodded.

"That's because she is. Dr. Olendski said genetics didn't affect the baby's growth or outcome either. Strigoi baby or no, she comes out as a healthy Dhampir. They're calling her a miracle." His eyes blinking furiously as if he were containing his tears. Tears of joy I presumed. He ran his hand over his face and smiled.

"I'm really the father?" I nodded.

"If you still want to be." He kissed my on the cheek, then on my lips for a long while and pulled my hooded top up to reveal my stomach. He knelt down in front of me and started talking in Russian. It sounded like a prayer as he finished he placed a light kiss right on my stomach. He looked up at me with a smile in his eyes.

"What did you say?" I asked curiously.

"I asked God for forgiveness and that if she'll let me, I'd be honored to be a part of her life." I smiled.

"What did she say?" I teased. He bit his lips hiding a smile.

"Well, she said only if her mama forgives me." Now I smiled. I kissed his forehead.

"Forgiven. Forgotten." We kissed. And it felt like my life was complete. I took his hand and rested it on my stomach. I felt a tiny movement and knew he would too. His eyes expanded.

"She kicked?" I nodded enjoying the look in his eyes as he stared at my stomach.

"Yup it's become a habit of hers. I'm starting to think she's got my awesome fighting skills." This made his eyebrows raise alarm.

"Yours? I would think she'd get _my_ awesome fighting skills." I snorted.

"Oh, you wanna bet on that Mister Man?" We laughed and seconds later he swooped me up to place me further on the bed. Throwing my hooded top off and we both kissed for a long time, wrapped up in each others arms. The kiss was full of passion and love and I missed it so much. A though came to mind as the kiss started getting out of hand. I pulled back to look at him with lust in my eyes.

"You know, I was thinking." His eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"Should I be worried?" I hit him. "No…just something Dr. Olendski was saying. She said that having sex while being pregnant is the most natural thing to do. Couples do it all the time." He arched his eyebrow.

"What are you trying to say?" I put on my signature man-eating smile.

"Well, we have the cabin, a fire going, a sexy pregnant woman, and can't forget an oh-so-hot-Russian-God lying next to her. What more can you ask for?" He chuckled as I playfully nibbled at his bottom lip. He caught my lips in his and smiled looking at me like a goddess again. His eyes roaming my body always made me feel beautiful.

"Well?" I stammered. He beamed a smile.

"You had me at sexy pregnant woman." I laughed and let him kiss me until my tongue burned with passion. We made the most of it having the cabin to ourselves. Though, we could've had sex, Dimitri was the one to hold back. I didn't mind too much, lying next to him was enough.

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_**A/N: **Reviewers are asking if there's going to be some kind of Sequel to this story. I'm not too sure on a sequel…depends on you guys and who is willing to read it. I don't know…we'll see. I'll put a pole up and see how it goes. But please review! I love you guys so much, and always love what you have to say. Really sad that I'll be leaving this story but as a reviewer reminded me, that this story deserves some closure ;) Thanks in advance!_


	18. Chapter Eighteen

_**A/N: **__Ooh I believe I lied to you guys, my bad. I said the last chapter will be the last instalment but I was wrong. I give you an extra chapter before the epilogue. So consider this a lucky charm. Plus I hadn't quite wrapped things up too good in the last chapter, so here you guys go. _

_On another note: My laptop has broken so I had to completely type this chapter up again, and start from scratch. So this chapter took longer than it was expected. I haven't done much writing since, only because all my drafts are on my laptop and plot outlines, I had to rustle everything up from my memory. I think I need a new battery charger or maybe a new laptop, so until then, I'll have to use this dinosaur of a computer that has Windows 98. Thanks for your continued support. I appreciate it muchly. _

_The Epilogue will be up in a day or so too, I'm just touching it up at the moment, so you wouldn't have to wait long. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Oh and don't be surprised of errors and stuff, I haven't had the chance to go over it._

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own VA series or any of the characters, Richelle Mead owns everything. Though I do own my own plot, and creativity. NO copyright infringement intended. Just for fanfic purposes only.

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**Chapter Eighteen **

**I **ROLLED ON TO MY SIDE and woke up to the smell of coffee and a divine smell I couldn't make out. I yawned and patted the bed next to me and found it was empty. Panic rose in my chest and I peeled my eyes open to investigate. I rubbed my eyes.

God I fell asleep? Looking around I realized I was still in the cabin. 6:30am blinking on the nightstand. _Damn,_ _I've slept the whole day? Night even._ Shit! I should be boarding the plane to the Royal Court, not to mention my community service I was supposed to do. I shook that thought and wondered where the hell Dimitri was.

I sat up to study my surroundings. The fire crackling away in the hearth, as if it had been going all night, as well as the smell of food coming from the open kitchen. My stomach grumbled as I sensed...bacon and eggs? I frowned as soon as I found Dimitri standing over the stove with his bare back in full view, while his sweatpants hung dangerously low on his hips.

He looked like he was fresh from a workout. I smiled, sighing with relief. He was still here. He hadn't abandoned me after all, and I automatically felt guilty to have thought such a thing. In fact, I was amazed at how familiar this scenario felt.

Just to wake up to see his face every morning seemed like a happy thought to me. In the cabin where we both shared an intimate connection was even better. I swung the comforters off me and decided to sneak up on him and wrap my arms around him from behind, placing a kiss on his right shoulder blade and hugging him close to me. He wasn't at all startled as I watched him flip a pancake over in the pan.

"You hungry?" He asked over his shoulder. Giving me a glimpse of his lips, eyes raised in earnest. I nodded.

"Mmhm. Wow. You cook too? I'm starting to wonder if I got more than I bargained for." He chuckled.

"I come from a family full of women. What do you expect? Plus, making pancakes is hardly called cooking, a five year old could do this...well the mixture anyway." I smiled.

"Guess all the five year olds across America would show me up then." He placed the last pancake on a plate and drizzled it with maple syrup. Scrambled eggs, and bacon sitting to the side, and a cup of coffee with my name on it. He was sipping on a cup of hot chocolate. He turned around and kissed me on the forehead.

"With me around? You wouldn't have to." His eyes piercing through my gaze, sending butterflies all over the place. I noticed his hair was out which was obviously longer than I remember it being, touching his shoulders even. I swept it out of his face and smiled.

"I like the sound of that." He kissed me on the lips and smiled too.

"Good, now eat. You need it." I didn't have to be told twice.

"Yes sir!" I saluted as he placed the food on the small table and pulled out the chair for me to sit. I wondered where all this was coming from. This slaving and fussing over me. I sat down happy to have food down my stomach. I wondered where his was, but instantly dismissed it. Thinking he'd already eaten. I frowned just as I saw him lost in thought as I chewed on my food.

"You're not gonna eat?" He shook his head. "Not hungry." He mumbled as his face knit into a frown. Hands wrapped around his near empty mug. The curtains were open letting in what misty light outside. And his stare never wavered.

His head seemed elsewhere. Almost like I couldn't reach him. I sighed.

"Is there something wrong?" It took a while for him to realize I was addressing him with a question. He turned to me and raised his eyebrows.

"What? No. Nothing's wrong Roza. You should eat up, before your food gets cold." He almost sounded robot-like. As if someone was forcing him to talk. I scowled. There was obviously something bothering him. I knew that much. I dropped my fork, making a loud clinking noise. He turned to me alarmed.

"Dimitri. Please don't keep me in the dark like this. I can't stand being left out of the loop. Especially from you. Tell me what's on your mind." He sighed knowing I had him. He looked down at my food then back up at my face. Meeting my gaze. He was quiet for a few moments and I urged him to cough it up. He focused on his cup.

"I offered to be Tasha's guardian." He said finally, bracing himself as if he didn't like what my answer would be. I raised my eyebrows.

"I know." My answer took him off guard. Which was almost impossible to do, coming from him.

"You know? How?" I shrugged, picking up my fork again and eating.

"She told me." I said avoiding eye contact. I could feel him studying me in my peripheral. He cleared his throat.

"And?" He stammered. I shrugged. "And...nothing." He didn't seem to buy my comment.

"You're not mad?" I shook my head still not meeting his gaze, focusing on my bacon and eggs on my plate.

"No, why would I be mad?" It came out like an eerie high pitch voice. He sighed and I looked up at him.

"Roza, you're a terrible liar, you know that right?" I didn't say anything.

"Did she say anything else?" I shrugged, hating the fact that Tasha was the topic of our breakfast conversation. I pursed my lips. "Not much, just that she was looking for you all day, before I found you. I guess she was worried you didn't mean it, and making rash decisions...were you?" He rubbed at his chin, choosing his words carefully I presumed. He shrugged.

"That's the thing. I don't know what I should be doing." This surprised me.

"Really? I got the impression your life was planned out. Right down to the clothes you're going to wear." He frowned.

"It _was_ planned out, at least I thought it was. But...certain events decided to plan themselves." He looked at my stomach and back up at me. I froze and gaped at him.

"What are you trying to say? I messed up your plans because I fell pregnant?" He shook his head.

"No. I'm not saying that at all." I swallowed the last of my food, with fear that I might chuck it up if this conversation was about to go in the direction I knew all too well.

"Yeah? Sounds like it to me." I shook my head refusing to get into an argument. "You know what? I'm beginning to think this was a bad idea. You obviously don't want this baby, _or_ me. Maybe I _should_ go be a bloodwhore. Live the life you want me to, or at least the life you expected girls like me to have. Save me from messing up these so called plans of yours." I threw my fork down and bolted out of my seat.

"_Rose._ You're being unreasonable. And sounding like an immature little girl." I narrowed my eyes at him. Did he just call me a little girl? An _immature_ little girl? I glared at him.

"Excuse me? _Immature?_ Well...if _I'm_ immature, what does that make _you_? Seeming how you _slept_ with this _immature_ little girl and left me pregnant!" He winced.

"And if anyone is being unreasonable here, it would be _you_. You're the one who demanded I get rid of my baby!" He sighed.

"I told you I didn't mean that. I just thought..." He shook his head. "Maybe we're going about it the wrong way. I mean, maybe you could give the baby away to someone who would raise it well. You could still have your career. Your life back." I exhaled, clenching my teeth in anger.

"Are you saying I won't raise my own baby well? Well that's just fucking great. The amount of faith you have in me is just fucking great." He frowned and shook his head about to protest but I cut him off. Stabbing my finger at him.

"You said you would be apart of her life, but you lied to me!" I tried my hardest to contain my tears.

"I didn't lie to you. I'm just thinking about your career. Your future Rose." I shook my head.

"You're thinking about yourself. I thought you were better than that. But I guess not...whatever, I don't have time for this. Have _fun_ with you and all that _maturity_ going on over there." I retorted and glared at the spot he was sitting in.

"Rose. You're twisting my words. God damn it, can you just listen? For once in your life? Just listen?" He stood up, towering over me. I blinked astonished at his tone of voice. It almost sounded like his Strigoi voice. I shuddered and pursed my lips thinking it was wise to be quiet. He was neither threatening nor angry, he was more frustrated just marking his words and ordering my attention.

"Your _future_ is important Rose. Important to _me_...don't you get it? You've got so much potential and I just don't want to see it wasted. That's all." I looked up at him with sorrow. Hurt from his words, neither of us saying anything. He cupped his hands over my face and moved closer.

"I want to see you flourish, thrive and live out your dreams, I want to see that. Family? Kids? There's always time for that. You should be living freely, as a guardian. It's what you always wanted wasn't it? That's how you should live." I didn't want to point out that there was never going to be another time for kids. It was a miracle I was pregnant in the first place. But I couldn't let him know that.

I shook my head.

"Why won't you just be happy for me. It's all that I ask...for you to be happy for me." I said under my breath. He was wiping my eyes with the pad of his thumbs.

"I want to make sure you're happy Roza. Do you seriously think having a baby is the answer?" My anger got the best of me again. I yanked his hands off me and stepped back from him.

"You know what? Just forget it. Go be fucking Tasha's guardian. Go do whatever with your life. Just don't tell me how to live mine." I bit out and stormed toward the door, hoping my tears wouldn't fall. He caught my arm just before I made it to the door.

"Roza. Wait." I halted before the door and looked up at him. His lips close, breathing down my face. He inhaled deep and looked in my eyes. "Roza. Tell me truthfully. If that baby wasn't mine? Would you still have the same outlook? To want to give up your life, your career for it?" I hesitated. I was sure I would, but knowing that the baby was his? Even if it was conceived when he was a Strigoi, I couldn't help but think that this was my only chance of keeping something that belonged to him, and me. It made it all that much more special to me. I closed my eyes briefly hoping I wouldn't have to answer that question. I felt his hands sooth my skin, breath on my face again. I refused to open my eyes.

"Roza..." He whispered. "Is this because...we can't...Dhampir's can't reproduce with each other? You think this is the only chance you will get?" I didn't say anything; instead I opened my eyes letting my tears fall freely. His expression changed. Disdain written all over him like he knew what I was thinking. Like he knew what the answer was all along. He sighed and pulled me into his arms, caressing me tender. I let him and took comfort with his embrace. .

"Oh Roza." He breathed, leaning his chin on my head and kissing it ever so slightly.

"I just thought it...it's the only way..." I couldn't finish my sentence; instead I let him warm me with his embrace, while he whispered sweet nothings in my ear.

"I'm sorry I haven't exactly made this easy on you. I love the fact that you're having my child; I'm just worried you'd regret it later." I let my eyelashes flutter on his chest, trying my hardest to blink away more tears.

"It's the only way I can have a piece of you Dimitri." I whispered. He pulled back and pressed a long kiss on my lips and smiled.

"I told you before. You have me. Not just a piece, but my entire soul, my being. It's _all_ yours." I pursed my lips and pulled back from his embrace. I rested my hand on my stomach lost in thought. .

"Well I don't _have_ just a piece to offer. If you want me, the baby comes too. We come as a package. It's not one or the other, but both or neither." He nodded smiling.

"I told you before, I want to be apart of her life. It's _you_ I'm worried about. Are you ready to take on this role?" It took a moment to think about that. Finally I nodded.

"I am. I know I can do this." I stated as a matter of fact. I frowned. "But what would this mean for your career? What about Tasha?" He shrugged. "She's Tasha, she'll understand. Plus, that's not the only option I was pursuing." This piqued my curiosity.

"What do you mean?"

"Well...Queen Tatiana, offered me a position at the Royal Court. As a combat training teacher for tenth graders. The salary's almost better than an actual Royal guard." My expression was astonished to say the least.

"That's...wow." I was beyond ecstatic.

"Yeah. I'm just wondering if I should take it." I gave him a look that said Are-you-crazy and I hit him.

"You're taking it, and that's that." He chuckled.

"What about you? And the baby?" I frowned. I hadn't thought that far ahead. I shrugged.

"We'll be living at the Royal Court. She can go to day care while I guard Lissa at LeHigh. It'll all work out for the better. I know it will. It's just the rumours that I'm dreading." Now he frowned.

"Rumours? I never took you for a believer."

"I'm not, just...don't want the unnecessary attention that's all. I mean only my superiors know my situation, and a few of my close friends, and I want it to stay that way. It'll all turn out messier than it is; which reminds me. I'm on community service..._yesterday_, and supposed to be at the Royal Court right now."

"Not to worry, flight to court got cancelled yesterday, and I rescheduled your community work. Plus, it was just as well, I didn't want to wake you." I smiled.

"Thanks. Still, I should be going." He nodded.

"Let me get your clothes. I don't want you getting a cold. Or showing off those sexy panties." I looked down and forgot I was in my lacy underwear and tank top. I laughed.

"No, because that would be embarrassing." He retrieved my clothes and his and we both walked hand in hand and made our way back behind the wards of St. Vladimir's gates. We let go before anyone noticed.

"So you're not guarding Tasha?" He gave me a side-long glance and shook his head.

"No I guess not. Plus, I've got my own family to guard now. Though I admit...telling her is the hard part." I smiled and spotted Tasha coming toward us. I leant in close enough so he could hear me whisper.

"Looks like now would be the time to tell her, I'll leave you to it Comrade." He blinked and smiled at me. I frowned. "What?" He shrugged. "You haven't called me that in a long time." I scoffed.

"What? Comrade? I thought you didn't like that nickname?" He pursed his lips.

"I don't" He admitted. "But then again, I like the way you say it." I scoffed about to tease him more but we were interrupted soon after,

"Dimka!" It was Tasha, face all excited. Dimitri gave me a look and I nodded in encouragement giving him a wink. I said my hi's and goodbyes as I left Dimitri with her happy to know that he wasn't going ahead with his earlier decision of guarding Tasha.

After I completed my community service, I met up with Lissa later in the day, as we were about to board the jet to the Royal Court. She skipped ahead of me with Christian, leaving me lagging behind by myself. I stopped short as I encountered Camille Conta. One of the Royal snobs that was part of the elite click that I hated so much. Her and her friends eyeing me up like they had some retort hanging on their lips. Camille's eyes roaming over me like she was picking out what not to wear from my outfit. She decided to open her mouth.

"So, I heard you've got it bad for Guardian Belikov. How deluded can you get? He'd never look twice your way, not to mention he's way too hot for you. Seriously." She flicked her recently fake blonde highlights over her shoulders as her little minions giggled in the background. I mentally told myself not to let them get to me. I mean sure I could punch her just like I did Jesse, but that would just cause unwanted attention. And give her the upper hand. So ignoring her was the only thing I could do. She scoffed.

"Pathetic actually. Like you could score an older guy anyway." She finished.

I sighed. Mentally chanting: _ignore the bitch. _I had a retort hanging on my lips but instead, I jumped when heavy arms wrapped around me from behind, and noticed Camille and her little minions had stopped laughing.

In fact I was pretty sure that each and every one of their jaws dropped to the ground.

Eyes bugging out like they had seen a ghost, or something similar. But I smelt his aftershave and he gave me a light kiss on the cheek. I even heard Lissa through the bond squealing a big '_OMG you guys look cute together' _in the background. I blushed ridiculously so, turning to see Dimitri's face hovering over my shoulder with this sexy smile on his face.

The rare ones that often never happened, especially on public display.

"Hey you ready?" He asked.

I stared at him dumbstruck, then at Camille and her friends then back again. I nodded as he laced his hands with mine to walk me to the jet leaving Camille and the rest in the rear. I followed, reluctantly so surprised at just how open Dimitri was being today.

Everyone staring. I was this close to pulling away when he whispered in my ear.

"Just keep walking." My mind still reeling in what had just happened.

"What the hell was that about?" I whispered. He shrugged deciding not to answer me.

"What about your job? Aren't you worried about what everyone will think? They'd fire you." His expression was unwavering. Still walking with his head focused forward.

"I don't work here anymore, and you're neither my student, _nor_ a student here at the Academy, so it's all legit." We kept walking and I smiled and whispered.

"Thank you." He stopped to look at me.

"For what?" I shrugged.

"For saving me with Camille and them." He took my hand and kissed it. Searching my face with his eyes.

"I didn't do that to prove a point Rose. I told you, all those rumours don't bother me..." I pursed my lips. His actions speaking louder than words made that statement obvious. I nodded.

"I know...it's just, I didn't expect that from you. You're never one for public display." He had a smirk on his face. Tilting his head in thought.

"You're right, but I guess I did go a little over board...and. I don't know, seeing their face was worth it, don't you think?" His smile beaming just how perfect his pearly whites were. I chuckled shaking my head. .

"Guardian Belikov, you devious, devious man. I _like_." I beamed a smile. He chuckled as I kissed him and we made our way to the Royal Court never letting our hands go. Never looking back, but always looking forward. This is how it was supposed to be. Dimitri and I, and our soon to be addition to the family.

_My_ family. I smiled liking the sound of it on my lips.


	19. Epilogue

_**A/N: **__Here you go guys, the final installment to this story. Hope you like. It's a little short, but it's the only way I knew how to finish it. _

**Disclaimer:** I will tell you one last time, so listen closely. And carefully. Richelle Mead owns VA series. I DO NOT own anything, besides the plot. NO copyright Infringement Intended. This is just for fanfic purposes only.

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**19. Epilogue**

THE SOFT WAIL ROUSED ME to consciousness.

I grunted, trying to rub my eyes to open them, but my hands wouldn't comply. I blinked instead and tried again, and saw Dr. Olendski. I frowned.

"She's okay." I heard someone shout, distorted by my muffled cries and murmurs. I felt drowsy and disorientated. Drugs? Yeah, that's what it was. It had to be. I blinked again, and found my eyes detecting blurry images.

"How are you feeling?" Dr. Olendski asked. I shook my head.

"Dizzy." I said, though I wasn't sure she heard, so I repeated the word. Dr. Olendski assured me that it was the side effects from the epidural. It soon dissipated when I focused on him.

"Dimitri." I croaked. I felt something squeeze my hands.

"I'm here." He reassured me. I exhaled in relief and relaxed. I felt something weigh in my arms. And moving. I ordered my head to look down toward the movement but the drug slipped me in and out of a temporary daze. Then in a few seconds my eyes focused and I saw a dark body looming over me. Dimitri. I could see clearly now and hear clearly just as Dimitri was smiling, glassy eyes and all.

"Roza, she's perfect." I heard him say just as he touched his lips to my forehead.

She? Who could he be talking about?

I felt a cold wet cloth swipe my forehead, cooling me instantly. It felt good. My hair clung to my face, from all the sweat that conjured up in my body. I sighed in relief just as it all seemed to register. The pushing, the pain, the drugs.

The complication that happened in the middle of it all. Then, the sound of a baby cry. A baby. My baby? I looked to the left of me where I felt movement and I could just make out a little body with arms and legs flailing around and the soft wail coming from her tiny mouth.

It was the life of my baby. I'd given birth to a baby girl, and as soon as my mind had summoned that thought, I could feel hot tears stinging my eyes. She survived? I survived. A life I could call my own. A life that I would spend the rest of my life protecting. My baby.

I shifted so I could see her better.

I could make out her pale skin, kicking away the loose sheet that was wrapped around her. The pink tinge to her pale skin. I couldn't get over the pale white of her skin. Almost one of a Moroi. I swear she could have been a Moroi with that pallor. Light dust of dark hair adorned her head.

Eyebrows; while long black lashes flirted against her cheeks. I wanted to see her eyes though, but they were closed. I let my fingers run over her soft, supple skin. She'd been bathed in a lavender silky soap that smelled like spring and summer. The plump of her lips lined with a reddish, pink color. I caught her toes in my fingers, lightly pinching them, counting five on each.

Smiling, liking the weird butterflies swarm around in my stomach, knowing she was mine. I heard murmurs of congratulations, and words being exchanged in the background, but it was all blocked out by this tiny girl in my arms.

"She's all yours." I heard Dr. Olendski announce and she cleared out of the room, leaving without another word. _She's all yours. _My mind chanted. Mine. And she was.

Olena leaned in and kissed my cheek. "She is truly a miracle. You did good Rose, she's beautiful." I looked up to meet Dimitri's mothers' eyes.

She and Viktoria had arrived just yesterday bringing along Paul for the trip. It was nice to have them here. They always felt like family to me, and having a mother figure around was comforting, especially since mine couldn't be here. My body sent a pang right to my heart as soon as the thought came to mind. I wondered what my mother would've said if she were here today.

She'd probably be chastising me about how wrong it is for a Dhampir like me to have brought a baby into the world, especially being so young, when all we did was protect Moroi. But then again. She had me at a young age too.

Still, I know she'd be disappointed somehow. I found myself squeezing the 'thistle' charm necklace my mother had left me with, that sat on the hollow of my neck. _I know you wouldn't've approved mom, but you would've made a good grandma. _

I realized Olena was brushing her fingers over my baby's face, and I smiled up to her.

"Thanks Olena. For being here. It means a lot." I managed to say to her. She squeezed my hand.

"I'm just happy you made it through. We thought we'd lost you. You're a true fighter Rose." She turned to my baby. "Turns out, so is she." She said, eying my baby with fondness. I followed her stare.

"Yeah, I guess it runs in the family." I said, half praising her too.

She nodded and smiled. Viktoria and Paul following behind advanced on me and sat on the bedside, while Olena gave them some room. Viktoria wasn't kidding about Paul having gotten taller. And the fact that he was a splitting image of Dimitri was even more shocking.

I could almost imagine Dimitri having been Paul's age. Viktoria seemed nervous to approach me. Almost like our last encounter with each other had ruined some sort of fallible introduction. I urged her closer.

"Hey Vikki. Long time no see?" I gave her a rueful smile. She nodded.

"Too long, Rose. You look…well." I scoffed.

"Liar." I could tell she was fighting against a smile. She had that control-thy-feelings thing going on, which reminded me a lot like Dimitri. She rolled her eyes after a moments pause.

"Maybe a little bit, I am. But I couldn't exactly say you look dreadful. That would be unforgivable." I chuckled.

"I'll take the compliment." She smiled then and sat down at the foot of the bed. Her eyes flitted toward the tiny bundle in my arms.

"She looks like you. If only she had her eyes open, we could get a better visual. But, she's really beautiful." She commended.

"She is isn't she? I keep waiting to see her eyes, but she won't open them. You want a hold?" I asked. Her eyes expanded like she wasn't expecting it.

"But she's so tiny…I…are you sure?" I nodded and before she could protest, I let her gently into her arms, supporting her head. Viktoria's eyes lit up instantly as she cooed in the nook of her.

"God, she's light as a feather." Viktoria exclaimed, while playing with her fingers.

"5pounds I was told." I said to her. I let Viktoria introduce herself to my baby and I liked the look on her face as she did it. Her stare seemed faraway, like she was remembering something.

"Sonya's weighed 7 and a half. Looks nothing like our family, our Uliana. I keep telling Sonya she must have taken the wrong baby from the hospital." Viktoria chuckled. "Sonya, of course laughed, then said 'maybe she doesn't look like our family because she refused to look anything less than pretty'."

I found myself joining in with Viktoria. Laughing like old friends again. She shook her head. "No but she's beautiful. So is yours, Rose. She's a charm." I smiled as she handed her back to me.

"Thanks." I said. She rested her eyes on me then and asked.

"What's her name? Have you decided on anything yet?" I shrugged and shook my head.

I hadn't thought about that. Giving her name. Feeling stupid for not picking one, or giving her one, but somehow, she needed a name that said she was a fighter, a miracle and all those things and more. I was sure that just any wouldn't do. It had to mean something. I pursed my lips.

"I'm not sure just yet. But you'd be one of the first to know when I do." She nodded and stood up. "Well, I better give you some space. We'll be down the hall if you need us. Apparently we're staying for a while."

"Nikolai come with you too?" She shook her head.

"Er…we kind of broke up. Yeah, apparently friends are better to have than boyfriends." _Oh. _I thought they made a cute couple.

"I'm sorry." She waved it off like nothing.

"Don't be, it happens." She promised me she'd come and check on me later. I waved them out and focused my attention back on my baby. I was vaguely aware of Dimitri taking up the seat next to me, watching me, watching her.

He must've been down the hall talking with his mother Olena. He had his hair in a loose ponytail, while his duster rested on the seat. He wore a muscle shirt, and jeans today. I swear it's all he ever owned. He winked at me as soon as I met his stare. He looked exhausted.

"You should rest." He shook his head.

"I'm not the one who needs it." He smiled, though his expression was saying otherwise.

Then my eyes were back on my baby. Though, I could still feel his eyes on me. It's as if he couldn't take his eyes off either of us. I could say the same about her. She _was _perfect. And my heart swelled instantly from the thought of her.

I couldn't get enough of her. I brushed her little button nose. _Open your eyes for mommy._ I chanted silently. I let my eyes roam over her, listening to the soft coo of her voice as she settled beside me. I still felt drowsy, and restless. Fighting off fatigue. I could feel the drug slipping me back into a haze, but I willed it away. I needed to see her eyes. Just once.

"Open your eyes baby-girl" I whispered softly. _Mommy wants to see your eyes._ I silently finished. I waited. And waited, but I was just happy for her cooing lightly in my arms. I sighed.

Just as I was losing faith, I gasped just as she opened her eyes for the first time, and I felt my eyes sting with hopeful tears. Big black pupils were staring back at me and the name _Ava_ screaming in the back of my mind_. _

It was almost instant. Subconsciously summoning up a random name. But as I gazed at her, she suited it. _Ava. _My mind said again and I could've sworn she smiled at me. The haze of the drug took over, so I smiled and kissed the top of her head.

"Ava Janine." I whispered and my mind went black, as I succumbed to sleep from the drug. Letting sleep envelop me in a blissful slumber.

The next time I woke, I could feel the sun bathing my face from the open window. The haze of the drug had completely dispersed from my body. Still a little light headed though I tried my hardest to sit up. My head was repelled to comply so I sank back down on my pillow deciding it was wise to.

I felt like throwing up. I surveyed the room and realized that it was foreign to me. Though I was aware that we were somewhere behind the wards of the Royal Court. I knew that much.

Having Dr. Olendski here on my request must have taken much convincing, but I was allowed to have her deliver my baby. Then I realized this was no longer the room I had passed out in, or delivered my baby in.

Because I was in a queen sized bed. In a room with a window that allowed enough sun for a conservatory. I liked the sun. They must have given us one of the apartments they assigned families, instead of one of the dorms they gave to single students or students that shared.

This was probably the best gift I could have received from Tatiana. And I knew this was from her. Who else could it be from? It was a nice gesture even for her.

I soon found Dimitri standing near the temporary cradle they used to keep our baby in. _Ava Janine._ I found myself liking the name. In fact I was quite fond of that name already. I watched as Ava—who was comfortably crooked in his arms—made cooing noises, and heard him hushing sweet words into her ears, holding her tiny fingers in his; kissing them, playing with them.

His eyes seemed mesmerized on her face.

I could tell he wasn't aware of my waking so I lay there watching, listening, feeling my heart sink and melt at the words he spoke. Lulling her to sleep as he did this in his native tongue. It seemed to be a better lullaby tone than English, so he kept talking.

She seemed to like it too. When she was finally asleep. I struggled to hear the last part as he leaned in closer to say,

"I know I don't deserve your love, and neither the love from your mother, but I promise to spend my life giving you mine. No matter what it takes, I'll spend my life loving you both." He pressed his lips to the top of her forehead.

As he placed her down, back into the cradle. I smiled, wiping around my eyes, astonished at just how fast he was able to move me to tears with his promises. I shuffled.

"I'm sure she'll do the same." I said hoarsely, and he whipped his head in my direction, a little startled. His expression was saying otherwise, but I smiled nonetheless. I held his gaze long enough to share a lifetime of secrets and let my hand dangle, outreached toward him.

"And so will I." I said in a matter-of-fact kind of way, holding his gaze.

He exhaled somewhat of a relief and quickly closed the distance between us, taking my hands in his and putting them to his lips ever so slightly and then holding them to his forehead, bowing his head as he done this.

"I promise my love for you both, if it's the last thing I do. _Forgive me_." He whispered desperately.

His voice cracked at that last statement, and I found myself moved to tears by his tone, even more so from the gesture.

His vowing and declaring his love to us was a little too much. God! As if his love wasn't enough as it is? As if his love wasn't worthy of our forgiveness? As if his love meant fighting for _my_ love, like he thought he had to _earn_ mine.

The intensity of how he said '_Forgive me'_ nearly broke my heart_._ My heart dropped, and started kissing our hands that intertwined with each other and brought his chin up, to force him to look at me.

"We wouldn't expect any less from you." I reassured him and brought his lips to mine. Kissing away his worries, tasting salt from his tears and mine. Kissing away his desperate attempt for forgiveness. Reminding him that I loved him and that we were a family.

"So does that mean you forgive me?" As soon as I got his attention I smiled.

"Forgiven, forgotten. I love you too much to not have otherwise." He blinked away his tears that threatened to expose themselves and shook his head.

"I don't deserve you. I don't deserve her. The way I treated you, the way I've acted. God! I called her a monster! But _I'm _the monster._ I_ was the monster. I don't deserve any of this happiness. " There was no self-pity in his tone. He stated it as if it were a simple fact. I took his face in my hands and forced him to look at me.

"You're _not_ a monster, you hear me? And you deserve this. _She_ deserves to have a loving father in her life, and I do too. Besides, everyone deserves a second chance. A clean slate. Let's start with forgiving yourself first eh?" He reluctantly nodded.

"But I promise I'll spend my life protecting you—her. If it's the last thing I do." I shook my head.

"No. No more broken promises. I mean, I'm not saying I doubt your love and protection for one minute, but I do doubt ones luck or fortune. And there'll be times when you can't be there to save us. But know this. We both love you, not what you do, but who you are. Who you stand for. You're a man of great worth, Dimitri and you'll make a great father to her. You already make a good lover and I'm grateful of that. But don't think for one second we will stop loving you. So, no more promises. We take the days as they come. Just you, me, and our baby. It's all that matters." I murmured, resting my head on his; searching for understanding.

I know his promises meant the world for him, even more so making them for me and our baby.

But promises are always made to be broken. As soon as you make them it's considered broken because fear has made its mark on that very promise. And it never ends well.

Better to stop making them, so there'll be nothing to shatter, to break. I nudged him with my forehead. Squeezing his hands in reassurance.

"You hear me? No more broken promises." His eyes took on a knowing look as we both came to a mutual understanding. He nodded finally.

"No broken promises." He agreed.

[THE END]

* * *

_**A/N: **__Well, that's all folks! I feel somewhat sad now that this story is finished, but all the while happy because I've accomplished my first completed story on fanfic. I guess I'm not a procrastinator after all. Writing fanfic gave me a taste, of what it would be like writing my own story; the pressure, the goals and the labor and of course the comments from readers. It's time consuming I assure you, but it's worth it in the end. Hopefully I can share my own stories with audience like you some day. Thanks so much to each and every one of you who took the time out to read and review. You don't know how much it means to me to have your continued support; it was the only thing keeping me writing. It's true, without you guys, this story would have been remotely impossible. Thank you for allowing me to create an alternative world for our favorite VA characters to venture out in. Even though they're merely borrowed from the awesome Richelle Mead. (I sincerely hope she doesn't mind) but I had fun doing it, and I hope you had fun escaping into my little world I had going on in my head too. I'm glad you stuck around to the end. _

_The name Ava was kind of a random thing. I couldn't think of what to name her, so I asked my sister to say the first girl name that popped in her head, and it happened to be Ava. I added Janine in there for obvious reasons and voila, Ava Janine was created LOL. I know, so much for creativity right? _

_As for a sequel? Well, I'll have to get back to you on that one. Though, it would be fun to write one, I'll have to wait until I have somewhat of an outline first before I decide to do one. BUT if and when I do, you will be first to know. So make sure you have me on Author Alert to be notified. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask in a review or a private message. I'll be sure to get back to you. :D _

_THANKS IN ADVANCE!_

_I LOVE YOU GUYS_

_X0XO Tinydime_


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